Chapter 32

I roll my eyes and jump in the car. I take back the 'she didn't upset me too much.'

There's the usual comfortable silence. I don't know if it's comfortable for Savannah, but I enjoy being in her presence without having to talk.

We take a turn and Savannah takes her hand off the gear, then puts it on my thigh. Oh. Okay. I...need to stay calm. Too much panicking this evening. Fuck.

I try not to move my legs, so I don't make her think she can go up there but without pushing her away, and look out of the window. We proceed to stay in silence. I feel her fingers rubbing on my dress. She brings her hand higher slowly slowly, but after a bit of climbing she decides to keep it at a safe distance.

God. I. Am. Dying. Who the fuck gave her the permission to be this- I don't even know how to describe it. Just the fact that she exists makes me go crazy. She's a beast. And then behaves like nothing's wrong. Guess what, the Savannah effect. Of course nothing's wrong with her, I don't do the same thing to her. I can play her game. I told myself that before, but keep losing control every time she gets close. No, this time I can do it.

I spread my legs slightly, I see her eyebrows raise in the window's reflection. Her thumb searches for the slit. When it successfully finds it, she slips it under the fabric. Rose, please do not shiver. I can't show her she has any effect on me.

Her hand leaves my leg. Well, fuck. I am now finally able to concentrate on what's going on outside the car. We aren't in the city anymore, we're going into a wood. Okay, great. Please don't make this night end that way. I look at the car's display, she's connecting it to her phone. She opens her music app and starts searching.

"You really shouldn't look at your phone while driving. You'll get us killed." I say.

"Nah, don't worry. And even if I do, it'll be romantic." Okay, whatever. Wait til I tell this in court while trying not to move so I won't die from the pain.

She finally finds her song and presses play.

'Now she's back in the atmosphere, with drops of Jupiter in her hair.'

Drops Of Jupiter, but it's another arrangement. I turn her phone on and read it's by With Confidence. It's been years since the last time I listened to it, I still hated science at the time. I like this version more, I think. Train's version reminds me a bit of Hey There Delilah.

'But tell me, did you sail across the Sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that Heaven is overrated?'

I never appreciated a song's lyrics that much. Ignoring the fact that we're already in the Milky Way, unless you're an alien from another galaxy. Still, it's beautiful.

Savannah's hand goes to my knee, half of it on my dress and the other half touching my bare skin, stroking it, this time in an affectionate way. I smile, holding my head in my hand, as I go back to watching what's going on outside.

I watch as trees and bushes and dancing leaves pass by,

we're a little light in the darkness,

a light of our own.

A light of hope, shining brighter than anything that has ever learned to shine.

I already feel the words swirling inside me. It's as if they don't come from me, it's as if they come from something superior, like a God. Some cultures believe inspiration is a god itself. It comes and it gives you that little push, the one that'll make you reveal to the world it's little creation. I like the idea, but I also like that our art is us, our own way of expressing ourselves. Still, it'd be nice working side by side with another being that way.

'Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star? One without a permanent scar, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself?'

I am in love with this song. I type the name and the artist in my notepad, so that I remember to look it up once I'm home. We almost came to the end.

I let myself get immersed in the melody for the last few seconds left. It feels like an explosion, like the glamorous death of a star, exploding, illuminating its surroundings for the last time. Unless it crashes against another dead star, bringing themselves back to life as a single body, but that's besides the point.

"I listened to it for the first time a few days ago, reminded me of you." She says, once the silence comes back. I turn my head to face her.

"How did you find it?" I ask.

"Might have asked Tyler for songs with scientish lyrics. This one is the one that made me think of you the most."

As soon as she finishes to speak another song comes up. No wait, this is a piece. From a video. The one that made me fall in love with astronomy. I told Tyler about it just after Jane made that comment about not expecting me to be like this.

I might cry. I know it's stupid, but no one actually cared enough to take interest in the things I like. I'm scared she's doing it just to sleep with me. That's what she does, right? She doesn't care about relationships or any of that stuff.

I swear, if she got the whole album, I might actually, really cry. It's a thirty minute long video explaining how the Universe works, talking about different astral bodies and quantum mechanics, it even had explanations from Hawking himself. The guy who made the video also got a team to find and hire a composer and musicians, so they could have original music. Let me say, they made a really really good job out of it. It really captures the beauty and wonders of the world we live in, but know nothing of. Kind of curious, huh? We don't even get to experience it directly, only via electric impulses.

"We arrived. Need to walk a bit." She announces.

I roll my eyes by habit.

"We need to walk every time you bring us to the woods." I reply.

"We went only once."

"Fair enough."