Chapter 20

"I- uhm, I- Anything's fine." I manage to say. Savannah's gaze stays on me for a second longer, her dirty grin reappearing for a moment, but then she stands up towards a chest near the TV and digs in, taking out piles of cassettes. I'm still lying on the couch, eyes wide, legs open and sweating. This was not how it was supposed to go. My heartbeat is so strong I can feel it in my brain. I'm sure that at this point the color of my skin resembles more the one of an eggplant than a tomato. I try to sit and barely manage, my head's spinning. "I didn't know cassettes still existed." I say.

"Yeah, they're old. We used these to watch movies when we were little and I never threw them away. How about My Neighbor Totoro?"

"Oh God, I love Totoro. It was my favorite movie when I was little."

"Yeah, mine too. I'm guessing you watch anime?"

"No, not really. I grew up with the Ghibli Studio but for the rest, I never watched anime."

"Well, next time we'll watch some. I'll turn you into a weeb."

In the mean time she puts the cassette in and the movie starts playing. She then bends and takes out a bag from behind the TV, but the view is what grabs my attention. No Rose, bad, don't. She turns around and I spin my head, pretending to be interested in the fairy lights, I'm sure my face is still red. If my heart were in a different place I'm sure I would seriously be interested in the lights. I look back at her as she's coming towards me, wearing that grin again. She sits next to me and moves me close, so that again I'm pushed up against her. I tense but then sink in and put my head on her shoulder. The irony.

"Put your lips next to mine, dear." She sings in a low voice, and I giggle.

My attention is half on the movie and half on every part of her that touches my body. I will never get enough of the feeling that gives me. Every time we make contact, the intensity only grows, it's as if it's so strong it could never fade.

Mei has disappeared so she can go to her mother. I start to tear up, even if I didn't go through anything like this, I feel like I can understand her pain. It hurts so much watching a child be so desperate. Savannah's head turns towards me, with the corner of my eye I can see she's half surprised. "God, you are cute even when seeing you cry breaks my heart." she says. What?

"I'm not crying."

"Mhm, of course." she hugs me tighter.

"I'm going to ruin you jumper with my makeup."

"Who cares, it'll wash. You're more important." That melts my heart and I snuggle into her, still trying to not make her dirty.

"Rose." Shaking. Everything's shaking. "Rose." The voice sounds familiar. The shaking is pulling me out of the comforting veil of heat. My eyes are glued together, I don't want to open them. The shaking is making it hard to stay like this. "Too bad, I'll finish the candy then." I sit up. Candy, I heard candy. Where's the candy?

"I knew that would work." Savannah says with a smug grin.

"You said candy." I say.

"And you said you'd watch the movie." she responds.

"I did."

"You fell asleep before it ended." Oops. I really didn't mean to but I was really tired.

"You said candy." I really feel like eating sugar. Maybe it'll wake my brain up too. Savannah gets on all fours, I back off a little, not comprehending her intentions. She gets closer though and when I hit the armrest I sink slightly under her. Her dirty smile is back on her face, she puts a hand on my stomach, a finger sliding under my top, then moving to tug on my jeans. Suddenly the candy isn't needed anymore. I gulp and look at her, feeling small. She's in control, both of me and of her feelings. I'm completely lost, my head not functioning, in a haze of adrenaline.

"I've got some new candy under me that I'd really like to try first though." she says, looking deep into my eyes. Her stare is fire, it penetrates through me, as if she were looking directly at my deepest desires.

"Why hesitate then? I won't stop you." I find myself saying. Both our eyes go wide with shock and when I look back at her, we both burst out laughing. Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can get close to Savannah and still have a good time.

"Well, unfortunately, even if I really do want to taste, we need to get you home." She says. I really wish I didn't have to, that I could stay with her in this tree-house forever. "What about your parents, though?" I don't know where that comes from, but I instantly regret asking. Savannah's face goes dark right away.

"What about them?" she grunts. She starts putting her shoes back on, so I do the same.

"I don't know, you never talk about them. Not even for asking permission to go out or anything."

"Lets just say they're very permissive."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about really. They just don't seem to care. I mean, they're always nice and smiley and supportive, they just don't care about where I'm going or what I'm doing. Plus they're always at work so yeah."

"I know you probably don't care and that it might sound like pity, but I'm being honest. Your parents do care about you, I'm a hundred percent sure. The fact that they're supportive proves it. They probably act like they don't care because of work, anyway even if you ask, what can they do about it? You could do anything, disobey them in horrible ways, and being at work, how would they know? What could they do? Nothing. I know how bad it feels, I might be saying bullshit, but I don't know. I'm sure they care and they have valid reasons." At this point I'm just saying random stuff, I really want to make her feel better but I don't know how. The second I finish she hugs me tight, almost making me lie again, and she snuggles into me. Then she says "Well, off we go, princess." And all of a sudden her smile is back.