1 Red Hair

The land of the samurai. There was a time, long ago, when the country was called by that name. Those dream-filled skies upon which the samurai once gazed, are now filled with ships from strange worlds.

The towns where the samurai once proudly walked are now filled with swaggering, arrogant aliens. This is the world that they live in today. The city of Edo.

In a particular part of town, the Kabuki district was a restaurant where a young worker with glasses was getting yelled at.

"You idiot! That's not the one! It's right there, there!" An old, balding, man shouted at the young boy who stood behind a cash register.

"Nowadays, even a chimpanzee could do this! You're human. You've been working here for more than a year. Why can't you do this?!" The balding man continued berating.

"OI! Is it necessary to say I'm balding?!" The bald man continued shouting.

"OI! It was balding, and now it's straight-up bald?!" The Baldy shouted.

The boy looked at the bald man and apologized. "I...I'm sorry. Swordsmanship is the only thing I've ever done…"

*WHACK*

"Loser!" The Baldy shouted as he punched the boy, knocking him and his glasses to the ground. "Samurai and swords are all ancient history now! How long are you going to act as if you're a samurai?! Huh?"

"Oi oi, come on now." A voice interrupted the man. Turning to a table were three cat-like Amanto's eating. One of them spoke up, "Just leave it at that, baldy."

"Hey, you just called me baldy… didn't you?" The Baldy said.

The Amanto continued, cigarette in hand, "Hey, kid, don't you bother with the register. Just get me some milk."

Picking up the glasses, the boy responded, "Ah, yes. Right away."

"When we first came here, the samurai were always spoiling fight." One of the Amanto's said sarcastically. "But, now, it's as if we've lost an irritable friend. It's lonely."

Sticking his leg out, he tripped over the boy, causing it to knock into the table behind the Amanto's.

"So I end up wanting to mess with them." The Amanto said, looking down smugly at the fallen boy.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" The Badly ran over and pulled the boy's hair. "You caused a mess everywhere!"

Getting up from his seat, a man, seeming, to be in his twenties with white hair walked over to the man. He wore a white yukata with a blue swirl pattern on the bottom of his sleeves and outfit, worn in such a way that only his left arm goes through the sleeve while the other droops down.

At the table that the man got up from, sat another man. He had short red hair, wearing a black haori over his blue kimono. He seemed to be similar in age to the white-haired man.

*crunch* "Jeez, always having to stick your nose into everything." The red hair man said, crunching down on a plate of french fries on his head.

"Hey." The man with white hair said to the shop owner.

"Huh?" The Baldy reacted, looking at the man.

*whack* Sending a punch, the man knocked the shop owner away with a punch, sending him crashing into the table the Amanto's were sitting at.

The man then slid his wooden sword out of his belt, with the words Lake Toya inscribed onto the hilt.

*crunch*

The red-haired man watched on as he continued munching on his french fries. "What a busy body." He said.

Kitty Amanto 1 turned aggressive and yelled at the man with his wooden sword, "Who the hell are you?!"

"Strapping on a wooden sword in the age of the Sword Ban!" Kitty Amanto 2 shouted.

"Blah blah blah. Are you in heat or something?" The man lazily said. Holding up an empty glass, he continued, "Look at what happened to my chocolate parfait because of your fussing."

*whoosh* *whack* "All of it spilled out!" The man swung his wooden sword down onto the head of Kitty Amanto 1, knocking him out.

"Wh-What the hell are you doing?" Kitty Amanto 2 shouted.

"Who do you think we are?" Kitty Amanto 3 yelled.

"My doctor told me my blood sugar level was too high… so I just have one parfait a week!" The man shouted, running at the two and knocking them out.

*crunch* "No no, that's wrong. You're not supposed to have any at all. You're gonna get diabetes again." The red-haired man said, getting up from his seat.

Leaving for the exit, the white-haired man followed and stopped at the exit. Turning around, he said to the boy with glasses, "Tell the Baldy that it tasted great."

"I-I'm not bald..." The Baldy's weak voice sounded out.

Leaving the boy, the two rode off on their Vespa. Yes, that's right. Two grown men, riding together on a Vespa.

"There's nothing wrong with riding on a Vespa!" The red-haired man shouted.

"Don't you look down on Vespa's, bastard! I'll ram into your ass if you look down on it!" The white-haired man shouted.

"Hey, Gin, do you think they realized?" The red-haired man asked as he drove.

"No, it was a clean getaway. Besides, I can always order another one, Hiro." Gintoki, the white-haired man replied.

Nodding the red-haired man, Hiroto, said, "Of course, why would we pay for a meal if it gets knocked over?"

"Ugh, who knows. I just don't feel right without having eaten any sugar. I get all cranky." Gintoki said.

"The hell are you talking about? You don't need sugar, you need insulin for your future diabetes if you keep stuffing your face with sugar." Hiroto said.

"You're no better than me, stuffing your face with potato chips" Gintoki rebutted.

"Hey hey!!" An angry voice came from behind the slow-moving Vespa.

Turning around, they saw the glasses boy chasing after them with Gintoki's wooden sword in hand.

"How dare you make me take the blame, you bastard! Everything's a mess because of you!" The boy shouted as he ran behind their Vespa.

"What an honest kid. You came back to give me back my wooden sword?" Gintoki said.

"You know, you don't see such honest kids these days. Good job kid, you'll go far in life." Hiroto said, giving a thumbs-up behind him.

"That's not the point here! I just barely managed to get away from the cops! After you two left, they swarmed in and accused me of hitting them with the sword you left on me!" The boy shouted, swinging the wooden sword above his head.

"They won't listen to a samurai. Even my manager said that I was the murderer…" The boy said, huffing and puffing as he ran behind them.

"You got sacked, eh?" Gintoki said, picking his nose.

"Don't worry kid. You know what they always say." Hiroto said, turning around and looking at the boy.

Raising his fist, he shouted, "Never give up!"

*snap* "How am I supposed to survive from now on?! Damn it!" The boy shouted, jumping up into the air and raising the wooden sword above his head.

Just as he was about to hit them, the helmet on Hiroto's head came loose.

"Whoops, I forgot to fasten it," Hiroto said as the helmet flew off his head.

*ding* The helmet flew backward and slammed into the boy's future generations household.

"G-Ugh." Falling to the ground, the boy clutched his 'mansion' in pain.

Stopping the Vespa, the two turned to face the boy.

"In this world, there are samurai who call cardboard boxes their homes! Can't you be more positive like them?" Gintoki said.

Nodding his head, Hiroto followed up, "That's right. Samurai these days have it much worse. These cardboard samurai are the true warriors."

"How is that positive thinking?" The boy said.

Walking out of a grocery store next to them was a beautiful young woman wearing a pink yukata with red sakura patterns on it. Carrying a bag of groceries, she approached the three and gave off a smile.

"Oh. Shin?" The girl said.

"Huh?" The three turned to the girl.

"What are you doing here?" The girl said, smiling. "Why aren't you at work?"

"Ack! Sis!" The boy, Shin, recoiled in fear.

"Oh, hi," Gintoki said.

"Hm, sister?" Hiroto said.

*snap* "What are you doing screwing around not working, you little punk!" The girl shouted, jumping up into the air and delivering a kick at Shin's face.

"Guwack!" Shin yelled out.

*pow pow pow* "Do you know what kind of trouble we're in this month?!" The girl shouted as he continued pounding on Shin's face. "Even your pathetic paycheck is crucial!"

Watching the two, Hiroto put a hand on Gintoki's shoulder and said, "Gin, remember this. If you ever anger a woman, just commit seppuku to end the suffering earlier."

"W-Wait, Sis! This is all his fault." The boy said, looking at Hiroto and Gintoki who slowly drove away on their Vespa. "Hey, wait!"

"Sorry, gotta catch a rerun of a soap opera this evening," Gintoki said.

"Yup, I left the uh, the cat on. Gotta go back." Hiroto said, driving away.

The moment the two turned back, the girl was seen behind them, smiling.

Le Fin

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LE FIN?! Don't act like we were killed, you damn author!" Hiroto shouted.

"Tsk, what a lousy fanfic. Just because you're out of ideas for your other fanfic, don't just decide to create another one." Gin said.

...Why are you two so cruel?

In the next chapter, the story continues!