Meeting on a Street Corner in Van

Late in the 10th month, 1,546th year, Continental Calendar — Princely

Capital Van.

A little more than three weeks had passed since the army of the

Elfrieden Kingdom had come to occupy Van, the capital of the Principality

of Amidonia.

The people of Van had looked harshly on their conquerors when they'd

first arrived. However, with Souma keeping a tight rein on his soldiers,

public order had improved, and with the lily root dumplings being

distributed, the people were no longer at risk of starvation. Their distrust of

the soldiers was gradually fading as a result. The fact that the nobles and

knights who would normally have worked to foment a rebellion had all fled

the city likely helped, too.

An air of calm was beginning to take hold in the city.

Though, that said... while it would have been nice if it had been purely

calm, it seemed that the music program Souma was broadcasting had the

people of Van burning with a passion for the arts. On every street corner

there were minstrels, street musicians, and street performers of all kinds

plying their trades.

On top of that, there were those who wanted to repaint their homes to be

more colorful, and even those who wanted to produce wall murals

displaying the beautiful countenances of Juna and the loreleis, Chris the

newscaster, and Aisha, who was known for her part in hosting the program.

Things were beginning to get out of hand.

Who would have believed this had been the capital of a militaristic state

merely one month ago?

Souma called this period of Van the Amidonian Renaissance.

Sudden changes were always fraught with confusion, and in Van there

were daily conflicts over the best places to hold street performances. The

Forbidden Army troops who had been left to occupy the city were sent out

to mediate, and the soldiers of the Army and Air Force who were camped

outside the city looked on them with pity. Still, such disagreements never

led to a major riot, and Van was more or less peaceful.

However, this day began with Aisha shouting noisily. "P-Princess!"

"Eek!" Liscia shrieked.

It was morning. Liscia had been getting dressed in the room she was

using as her own when Aisha had barged in without so much as a knock at

the door. It was so sudden that Liscia froze in surprise, but when she

remembered she was in the middle of getting dressed, she continued putting

on her uniform and asked, "Wh-What is it, Aisha? Why are you so

flustered?"

"Th-That's... His Majesty... His Majesty is..." Aisha sputtered. Perhaps

because she was out of breath, she was having a hard time getting the words

out.

"Calm down," Liscia said. "Take a deep breath."

"R-Right." Aisha took a deep breath, as instructed. She swung her arms

up and down in time with each heaving breath.

Once she was sure Aisha had calmed down, Liscia tried asking again.

"So, what's going on with Souma?"

"Right," Aisha said. "I went to the governmental affairs office to greet

His Majesty like usual this morning, but he wasn't there. Instead, I found

this note he left." Aisha passed the piece of paper to Liscia.

Liscia took the piece of paper and read it over. It said, "I am going on a

journey. Please, don't look for me. - Souma Kazuya."

Liscia pressed a hand to her temple and sighed, while Aisha returned to

freaking out.

"Wh-Whatever shall we do? We must search for him at once!"

"I'm telling you, just calm down," Liscia said. "Souma's taking the day

off."

"Huh? A day off?" Aisha stared at her blankly.

"Right," Liscia said, with a nod. "He's with Tomoe. It looked like he'd

been getting pretty close to the breaking point with his workload lately, so I

suggested he take some time off. I even cleared it with Hakuya. When I did

that, Souma said, 'Well, maybe I'll just laze around in some room making

dolls, then.' It didn't sound healthy, so I asked Tomoe to drag him outside

for me."

"I heard nothing of this!" Aisha exclaimed. "I am His Majesty's

bodyguard, you realize?! Why didn't he take me with him?!"

When she saw Aisha with tears forming in her eyes, Liscia gave a shrug.

"You stand out too much. This was a primarily human country, so dark

elves stand out to begin with, and with your recent fame from the broadcast,

you're not exactly going to be able to keep a low profile."

"This was enemy territory not that long ago, you know?!" Aisha

complained. "If anything were to happen to His Majesty and Tomoe..."

"Have no fears," Liscia assured her. "They're in disguise, and Juna and a

number of elite marines will be watching over them from the shadows this

time."

"Madam Juna is accompanying them, too? Well, in that case, he should

be safe..." Aisha got that far before Juna's mature smile flashed through her

mind.

To Aisha, Juna was the ideal woman. Gorgeous, graceful, gentle... She

would have given anything to be like her. However... setting that aside,

when she imagined Juna's smile, every instinct Aisha had as a woman

began setting off alarm bells.

If we let our guards down, she's going to run off with all the best parts,

she thought.

"He will be safe... won't he?" she asked.

"..."

In truth, Liscia had been thinking the same thing, so she had nothing to

say in response.

◇ ◇ ◇

"The weather sure is nice today, huh, big brother?" Tomoe asked.

"It sure is, Tomoe," I agreed.

I was on Van's shopping street walking hand-in-hand with my honorary

little sister, the mystic wolf girl Tomoe. There had been a nigh lethal

amount of administrative work to do lately, so Liscia, unable to watch me

torment myself any longer, had suggested that I take my first day off since

that time I'd patrolled the royal capital.

I figured if I had time off, I'd rather use it to laze around, like a father on

vacation, but Liscia had said that was unhealthy and ordered little Tomoe to

drag me into the castle town.

It was a place that had been enemy territory until just recently, so we

were lightly disguised today. My facial features were supposedly similar to

those of humans from the Nine-Headed Dragon Archipelago, so I was

dressed like a traveler from there. I wore a traveling cape and conical straw

hat, making me look like Kitakaze Kozou. Tomoe, meanwhile, wore a white

robe with a hood, like a white mage from some game. Honestly, I'd

wondered if it was worth the trouble of disguising ourselves to go out, but...

"Wowwie, there are so many different shops, big brother!"

...when I saw Tomoe so excited, nothing else mattered anymore.

"If you see one that catches your fancy, why don't we go inside?" I

asked.

"Okay! ♪" she sang.

When Tomoe gave that energetic reply, I patted her on the head. The hair

between her two wolf ears was fluffy and soft to the touch. It felt amazing.

Ahh... So soothing.

I tried talking to the person who was on the opposite side of me from

Tomoe, too. "Juna, are you okay with that?"

"Yes," Juna said, giving me a soft smile. "If it pleases you, Master

Kazuya."

For this undercover vacation, instead of Aisha, I was supposed to have

Juna and around ten of her marines watching over me from the shadows.

...Yes, from the shadows.

"Um, Juna? Why are you wrapping yourself around my arm?" I asked.

Juna had wrapped herself around the arm I wasn't using to pat Tomoe's

head. She was incredibly close. Right now, Juna was wearing a longsword

on her back, with breastplate armor over top of her clothes. With her

dressed up like a typical female adventurer, I didn't feel those voluptuous

things pressed up against me. Still, I could feel Juna's warmth directly on

my arm.

Juna seemed to see how flustered I was, and she flashed me a

mischievous smile. "Oh, is it wrong for me to do this?"

"It's not a matter of right or wrong... Weren't you supposed to be

protecting me from the shadows?" I asked.

"We're protecting you like we're supposed to," Juna said. "Right now,

my elite marines are protecting you in the shadows. They're circling ahead

of us to watch for any potential blind spots, too."

"No, but... isn't your face out there, too?" I protested.

The people of Amidonia should know Juna's face from the music

program. Even if she wasn't as recognizable as the dark elf Aisha, Juna

wasn't hiding her face at all right now. Wasn't someone going to notice her?

When I asked her that, Juna giggled. "It should be fine. I was wearing

makeup then. I should have given off a very different impression."

Now that she mentioned it... Juna was only wearing the bare essentials

of makeup today. Whenever she stood on stage or before the jewel as a

lorelei, she must use charming makeup that would be recognizable from a

distance. The Juna I saw now had a natural beauty, but just taking off her

makeup made her look younger than usual. Right now, she actually looked

her age.

"That's right," Juna said, as if reading my mind. "...The reason I look

like a mature adult is because of that makeup, got it?"

"No, I'm pretty sure the way you act is part of it, too..." I said. "So it did

bother you?"

"I am a girl, after all," she said. "Does it bother you linking arms with

me, sire?"

Juna wore an expression that seemed somewhat uncertain. That face...

She just wasn't playing fair.

"It's not that it bothers me," I said. "Bring it on."

"Hee hee," she giggled. "Thank you."

"Whew... You sure are amazing, Juna," Tomoe said. "I wish I could be

like you."

"...Don't you think you're fine just the way you are, Tomoe?" Juna said

pointedly to the girl who was looking up at her with great respect. Tomoe

was cute, and she might develop into a beauty like Juna as she grew up.

Once she grew up and learned how to play games with men, it could be the

birth of an incredible little tease.

While I was thinking about that, I ended up walking with Tomoe's hand

in mine, and Juna wrapped around my other arm. Nobody realized our true

identities, but the jealous looks from passing men and the whispering of

housewives trying to guess at the relationship between the three of us

started to make my stomach hurt.

In order to distract myself from it, I tried talking to Juna. "Well... Where

to? Unlike in Parnam, Van doesn't have much in it, so there aren't many

places I want to go patrol."

"When you're out on the town on your day off, I don't know that you

should be thinking of it as patrolling." Juna laughed wryly at my

workaholic thought process.

Sorry for being so work-obsessed, I thought.

Then, Juna took a peek over at Tomoe before whispering in my ear,

"How about giving Tomoe some new clothes as a present? Since she's your

honorary little sister, you can call it a gift between family."

"Ohh, there's an idea."

Now that she mentioned it, ever since I'd accepted Tomoe as my little

sister (though, technically, she was Liscia's adopted little sister and my

future sister-in-law), I had been busy with administrative work and hadn't

been able to act like a proper big brother. Tomoe had been working hard on

negotiating with the rhinosauruses and shoujou, so it might be nice to spoil

her rotten today.

"Juna, do you know a good place for that?" I asked.

"I've done my research," she said. "Leave it to me." She placed her

hand on her chest, bowing slightly.

Juna recommended a clothing store on a street corner.

The little sign out front had words meaning "The Silver Deer" written

on it in a stylish font. From what was on display in the show window, it

looked like it dealt not just in clothing, but in shoes and apparel, too. It was

hard to judge with my untrained eyes, but the products on display all

appeared to be of high quality. It was very much a high-class shop. The sort

of place a guy like me, who had always bought his clothes on sale from the

major retailers, would never come to.

Incidentally, ever since coming to this country, I had worn whatever I

could provide myself or we already had on hand. Lately, the work I'd done

creating and maintaining the Little Musashibo dolls had improved my

sewing skills, so I was making everything but my underwear myself. I

technically had what would be considered a highly-paid position, so I could

afford to make custom orders, but I had no interest in indulging myself with

luxuries now. The shirt and pants I had on under this traveling cape, as well

as the hooded robe that Tomoe was wearing—both of them had been made

by me.

"You can even make stuff like this. You're amazing, big brother,"

Tomoe said.

When Tomoe showered me with that look of respect, I could feel my

head swelling with pride. "I can't buy the clothes I was used to wearing in

my own world here, after all. Though I'm doing it half as a hobby," I said to

hide my embarrassment, then looked to The Silver Deer. "Still, this is a

surprise. A stylish store like this in Amidonia, of all places."

"I hear it originally dealt in men's clothing and apparel," said Juna.

"After that broadcast, when women started dressing up, they began stocking

clothing and accessories for women as well."

It seemed their selection changed in response to customer demand.

"Still, it's quite a selection, don't you think?" I asked. "Where do you

suppose they order it all from?"

"There are trade guilds," said Juna. "While they may not be able to do

much about food, which is in short supply, the guild can arrange for them to

buy any other kind of goods. For the merchants, Elfrieden and Amidonia

are both sources of goods and also valued customers."

"How crafty..."

Of course, it was those crafty merchants who maintained the balance of

supply and demand... but that was neither here nor there, and I figured we

shouldn't loiter out front forever.

"Well, how about we head inside?" I asked.

When I went inside, gesturing for the two of them to follow, a man with

ash gray hair who was dressed like a bartender was arranging products on

the shelves. He seemed like the sort of middle-aged gentleman that the

aroma of black tea would suit well. When he noticed us, he stood with his

feet together, brought a hand to his breast, and then bowed. "Welcome. Are

you travelers, perhaps?"

"Ah... Erm..." I stuttered a bit. While revealing my true identity was out

of the question, how was I to explain the combination of a man in a conical

straw hat, a beautiful female adventurer, and a wolf girl in a white hood?

While I was wracking my brains to come up with something, Juna stepped

forward.

"Yes. These two personages come from a kingdom in the Nine-Headed

Dragon Archipelago. They are Kazuya, the heir to a crêpe fabric merchant

in the Echigo Kingdom, and his younger sister Tomoe. I am their humble

servant, Silvia. Master Kazuya will one day inherit the family business, and

so we are traveling across many countries to broaden his horizons."

She was very eloquent.

Nice work, Juna, I thought. And, wait, I'm impressed you actually

remembered my nonsense backstory about being the heir to a crêpe fabric

merchant in the Echigo Kingdom. Even I had completely forgotten that

backstory. Also, who is Silvia supposed to be?

The middle-aged man didn't show any particular interest. "I see," he

said with a gentle nod. "I apologize for taking so long to introduce myself. I

am Sebastian, the proprietor of this establishment."

With that name, are you sure you aren't the butler, rather than the

proprietor? I thought for a moment, but I reminded myself that not all

Sebastians have to be butlers.

Smiling, Sebastian asked, "And what may I help you with today?"

"Well... do you have anything that would look good on my little sister

here?" I asked,

"Whuh?!" Tomoe reacted with surprise.

I put my hand on top of her head, patting her from over top of her hood.

"Well, that's how it is, so if you see anything you like, let me know, okay?"

"Um... But..."

"It's fine. Let me act like a proper big brother every once in a while."

With those words, I pushed Tomoe off towards Juna.

Juna nodded to me, taking Tomoe by the hand and going to look at the

wares on display. Tomoe was stiff at first, but she was a girl. As she looked

at the different items with Juna, I could feel her gradually getting into

shopping.

Now, this left me as a man with little to do. I enjoyed watching the

beautiful woman and little girl enjoying themselves shopping for a while,

but I got tired of just waiting, and wandered around the store myself.

They had clothing, shoes, accessories, and even makeup. There was a

really wide selection of items here. Truly, it was the 109 of Amidonia...

Well, not that I'd ever been to 109, or even to Shibuya, for that matter.

Perhaps because the women of Van had begun awakening to fashion, more

than eighty percent of the sales floor was devoted to women's products.

This shop had supposedly catered only to men before, but now it had coats

for them, and that was about it.

As I was looking around, I found a number of products that interested

me.

The first was lipstick. It was a color lighter than light pink.

The second was a hair accessory. It was made with gold and little stones,

making it seem like a quality piece, but it had a ladybug motif, making it

seem incongruously childish.

The third was a choker. It was made of blue leather with silver foil

scattered around like stars. The clasp was made of gold, with a design like a

bird spreading its wings.

They all looked good.

Then, finally... the last thing that caught my eye was a pair of tiny

loafers meant for a young girl. They had clips with a ribbon motif on them,

and were absolutely adorable.

These loafers... I think they might look perfect on Tomoe, I thought.

"Hey, Tomo—"

"Master Kazuya."

Just as I was about to call out to them, Sebastian stopped me. I turned

around, thinking it suspicious, and Sebastian said, "Pardon me for the

sudden interruption," with a bow. "There was something I've been wanting

to ask you, Master Kazuya. Would that be acceptable?"

"...What is it?" I asked.

"Let us suppose that, on the battlefield, the generals had gathered for a

war council."

...What? Battlefield? War council? Why's he bringing this up all of a

sudden? I thought.

"Let us also suppose that the first idea brought up at that war council

was a good one. If you were the supreme commander of that army, would

you immediately adopt that idea?"

"...I wouldn't," I said. "I'd think there might be better ideas."

"Precisely," he said. "That is why, if you were one of the generals, and

you wished to have your idea adopted, rather than submit it at once, you

should wait until the council comes to an impasse."

"I see... I see..."

"What I mean to say is, the games played between men and women are

also a battle."

"...Ah," I said. "I get you."

I finally understood what Sebastian was trying to say. He was saying I

should wait a little longer before pushing the loafers I thought would look

good on Tomoe.

That was fair enough, because Juna and Tomoe were enjoying looking

through the other products. If I brought them something good now, it would

be like pouring a bucket of cold water on them when they were having a

good time. If they chose to go with it, their fun time would end, and if they

choose not to, it'd be awkward for me. Neither of those was what they

wanted.

I was deeply grateful for Sebastian's consideration. "You, sir, are a

wonderful tactician."

"I am honored by your praise." Sebastian placed his right hand on his

belly, respectfully bowing to me. It was a theatrical gesture, but it was

smoothly delivered, so it didn't offend me.

Then, something occurred to me.

"By the way, you just used a war council analogy..." Could he be aware

of our true identities? I brought it up because I thought he might be, but

Sebastian hurriedly shook his head.

"Oh, my... Pardon me for that. Until just the other day, I had only dealt

with the nobility, you see. I can't seem to break the habit. If I offended you

somehow, I apologize. I have a regular customer who is fond of such

banter."

"...No, it's no big deal," I said. "Is that regular of yours a soldier?"

"No, no, more like an adorable little tanuki," Sebastian said.

A little tanuki, huh. Between the proprietor I couldn't get a read on, and

this person he called a little tanuki... I was intrigued. But, setting that aside

for now, I bought a few things quietly so that the other two wouldn't notice.

After that, I waited for the two of them to finish looking things over, then

recommended those cute loafers to Tomoe. Tomoe was hesitant to accept,

as I expected she might be, but she seemed like she liked them, so I halfforced them on her as a present.

Tomoe held the box with the loafers in it tight to her chest. "Th-Thank

you... big brother... I'll treasure them..."

As she said that, tears formed in her eyes, so I patted her head gently.

Maybe now we'd been able to act a little like brother and sister. If I thought

about it, the only ones I'd been able to call family before were my

grandparents. But now there was Liscia, there was Tomoe, and there were

Aisha and Juna.

...Yeah, it's nice being able to feel connected to people. As I patted my

little sister's head, that thought really began to sink in for me.

Juna was standing next to us, watching with a smile.

"Ah, Juna," I said. "Hold on a second."

It was just past noon when we left Sebastian's store. While we were on

the move, looking for some place to maybe get lunch, I had Juna stop for a

second.

"Is something the matter?" she asked.

I handed Juna a little bag as she looked at me quizzically. "I wanted to

give this to you."

"To me?"

Juna accepted it, opening it up, and inside was that ladybug shaped

accessory. It was one of the ones I'd secretly bought earlier.

"Huh?!" she cried. "Um, what is..."

"You're always doing so much for me," I said. "It's my way of saying

thanks."

"No, I couldn't possibly accept something like this. I don't have the

right..."

"Pass it here." I took the ladybug from Juna, fixing it in her hair.

Yep, it looked just like I'd imagined it would. It was far too childish a

design for the usual mature Juna, but when the younger-looking Juna of

today wore it, she looked like a young girl trying a little too hard to be

mature. It was cute.

"It really suits you, Juna," I said.

"Ohh..."

When I acted like I was the more mature one, Juna uncharacteristically

blushed. I felt like I'd finally won a small victory over her, the one who

always seemed more mature. Juna whipped her head to the side and looked

away.

"Sire. If you are going to give presents to women, make sure you give

them to the princess and anyone else simultaneously. In your position,

you'll probably end up taking multiple wives. If that happens, you can't

play favorites. You have to either love all of them equally, or accept that

marriage is just another political tool and love none of them. Anyway, not

causing discord between the women in your life is another of your duties,

okay?"

Juna spoke rapidly, trying to distract me. That she spoke so much was

proof of her embarrassment.

"It's okay," I said. "I have something for Liscia and Aisha, too."

When it came to accessories, Liscia tended to prefer ones she could wear

in battle over ones that were just pretty. I'd chosen the blue leather choker

for her because it was stylish, yet wouldn't get in the way. For Aisha, who,

like Juna, was always helping me out, I planned to give her that lipstick I

found which would go well with that healthy brown skin of hers. While

hosting the music program, it seemed like she'd been worried about how

feminine she was.

"So you don't need to worry about that," I explained.

"I-Is that a fact...?" she asked.

"It is. And by the way, Juna?"

"...What is it?" she asked.

"It's not 'sire,' it's 'Master Kazuya,' remember?"

"Ah..."

For a little while now, Juna had been calling me "sire" instead of

"Master Kazuya." It looked like when she started talking fast at me, she

really was trying to hide her embarrassment.

Juna had a sullen look on her red face. "Master Kazuya... is a

surprisingly big bully."

"Is he now?" I asked.

"Yes. And quite the ladies' man," she said, wrapping herself around my

arm again. Even more tightly than last time.

Over my shoulder I could see Juna's embarrassed smile, with that hair

piece shining above it.

"Wow... there are lots of little shops out, big brother!" Tomoe cried

gleefully, seeing all the street stalls lined up in the plaza.

In our search for a place to get lunch, Juna had led us to the plaza with

the Jewel Voice Broadcast receiver. This place had been an open field only

a month ago, but now it was packed with stalls selling food and assorted

goods. We had only just set foot in the plaza, but we could already hear the

owners of stalls calling in customers, and customers haggling for a better

deal.

The faces in the crowd were diverse, too. Housewives were here to buy

ingredients for dinner. A group of craftsmen was here for lunch. Even offduty soldiers from the kingdom's forces were here to buy snacks.

Must be from the Army, I thought to myself. The Army and Air Force

soldiers camped outside were allowed to enter the city when they were off

duty.

I could also see a large number of non-humans who looked like travelers

or adventurers. Race, job, nationality... none of it mattered here. It was one

big hodgepodge of people of all ages and genders.

"...How did it end up like this?" I wondered.

"Thanks to Sir Poncho, Van's food crisis has been alleviated

considerably, but only so many people can produce food good enough to

support a restaurant," Juna explained. "However, the people who think they

can manage a food stall gather here. This is the largest marketplace in all of

Van now."

"In an out-of-the-way place like this?" I asked. "Wouldn't they be better

off on the main street?"

"It's because the receiver for the Jewel Voice Broadcast is here."

"Oh, I get it..."

Ever since that music program had aired, as a test, we had been

broadcasting Chris Tachyon's news program during the day and the singing

program at night. The customers hadn't gathered because there were stalls

here; the stalls had gathered because there were people here waiting to

watch the Jewel Voice Broadcast.

It's kind of like the black market in post-war Japan, I thought. Maybe

it'll end up like Ameyoko someday.

Juna and the loreleis only appeared on the music program on weekends.

On every other day of the week, we ran a program where contestants

hoping to become loreleis competed. The Jewel Voice Broadcast was

always live, so if the loreleis had been the only ones who ever appeared on

the program, it would have put too much stress on them.

If anyone who appeared on that contest program was deemed to have a

gift for singing, they could be newly instated as a singer like Margarita, or,

if they were attractive, a lorelei. If they were male, they could debut as one

of the new class of male idols: the singing knights, orpheuses.

The program was simulcast in two countries, Elfrieden and Amidonia,

and it could be seen in any city where there was a receiver. The reaction

might be different in Amidonia, or the cities in Elfrieden might be reacting

similarly to this.

I'll need to estimate the economic impact of this later, I thought with a

grin. That was when Tomoe pulled on my coat.

"Big brother, I'm hungry," she said.

"Oh, right," Juna said. "Well, how about we get something from one of

the stalls?"

"Yeah! ♪" Tomoe sang.

"Then that's what we'll do," said Juna.

The three of us looked around the different stalls. Forty percent of the

stalls sold food, twenty percent sold various accessories, twenty percent

sold equipment, while the remainder dealt in other things.

It looked like a lot of the food stalls were selling skewers. Van was a

long way from the sea, so they could only get their hands on river fish, and

with the food crisis, grains and vegetables were in short supply. For meat,

on the other hand, all they had to do was hunt wild animals.

They were likely selling meat that had been hunted outside the city

walls. Because of that, none of the stalls openly stated what kind of meat

they were selling. This was worse than them mislabeling their meat to sell it

at a higher price; it was a total mystery what creatures any of it came from.

"It feels like a gamble buying any of the skewers..." I muttered.

Horned rabbit meat, I could probably handle, but giant rat and lizard

meat, well... I think my sanity stat would take some serious loss from eating

that. Besides, if they had just hunted whatever they could get their hand on

from the nearby fields, there was no telling what diseases or parasites it

might have. There were no food sanitation laws in this world, and none of

the cooks were licensed.

I'll need to institute all of that, too, eventually... I thought.

"It's fine," Juna said with a very lovely smile. "I had the marines come

here ahead of us and serve as poison tasters. Allow me to guide you to a

safe stall."

"Poison tasters?! Not taste testers?!"

"If anything were to happen to you, it would be a national crisis," she

said. "It's only natural that we would test anything from the market for

poison. Your body is no longer yours alone, you know?"

What, am I pregnant now? I wanted to quip, but I got what she was

trying to say. I didn't know if I'd be able to use Living Poltergeists if I was

sick from food poisoning. If I couldn't, that would mean the country's

administration would be short several instances of me.

...Yeah, it looked like poison tasters were going to be a necessity, for my

people's sake. I'd just have to accept it.

"And? What was the result of the poison tasting?" I asked.

"One person complained of stomach pain and dropped out."

"Dispatch a messenger to the castle!" I exclaimed. "Whenever a dish

including meat or fish is sold, the ingredients must be listed in the store!

Inform them that if they fail to do so, or if there is an error in the

ingredients displayed, their business will be shut down!"

"Understood." Juna sent one of the marines who were guarding us to run

off that message to the castle.

This was the moment the Elfrieden Kingdom saw the beginnings of its

first food safety law.

I intended to expand the range of things that required their ingredients

be posted in due time, but before that, I wanted to clamp down on meat

fraud. If there were bacteria or parasites, it could be a matter of life and

death.

"O, fallen marines," I mourned. "I will not let your deaths be in vain."

"No, they're not dead. It's just food poisoning," Juna said, rolling her

eyes.

No, no, even food poisoning can be a matter of life and death, I'll have

you know, I thought. Once, my grandfather had eaten some raw eggs that

were past their expiration date. He got salmonella, and was hospitalized for

days. Fortunately, it wasn't too serious, but his refusal to throw out a few

eggs that were ten yen apiece had cost him tens of thousands of yen in

hospital fees. Grandma had teased him about that for a good long time.

Well, setting that aside for now, we bought our skewers from a place

Juna suggested, along with some mixed juice from a fruit seller, and sat

down on a simple bench to eat.

Tomoe chomped right down on her skewer. "Yeah, this is delicious, big

brother."

"Yeah. This meat is pretty good," I agreed.

"The juice is delicious, too, Master Kazuya," said Juna.

The meat was nice and juicy. It wasn't that far off from the beef skewers

that were sold at festivals, so I asked what meat it was. It turned out it was

from a bigbull, a big, buffalo-like animal.

The juice wasn't chilled, but it was getting to be late in autumn now, so

it didn't feel too warm. It was a bit sour, but that was refreshing after eating

the greasy meat skewer. With our stomachs now full, we took a breather and

relaxed for a bit.

Tomoe started nodding off next to me, so I decided to let her have a nap.

Tomoe rested her head in my lap, she curled into a ball, and her breathing

became shallow. When I petted her head, it was silky smooth, like a real

dog's fur.

"Hee hee, isn't she just the cutest?" Juna said as she peered at Tomoe's

sleeping face. Then, moving in close enough that our shoulders touched,

she quietly whispered with a sad look on her face, "I hope these peaceful

days last forever..."

"Please don't go saying things that trip event flags like that," I said.

"You know that can't happen, right?"

Juna nodded. "The Imperial Army is almost here. They number nearly

50,000."

"50,000? That's fewer than I thought," I said.

We had a force of 45,000 troops from the Elfrieden Royal Army

gathered in Van now, so our forces were more or less equal. Of course, once

Amidonia's troops were added into the equation, they'd no doubt had the

superior force, but I had expected them to come with three times our

number.

For the Gran Chaos Empire, which had called for mankind to unite

against the threat of the Demon Lord's Domain, I highly doubted that they

wanted to open a new front against us, but if they'd brought enough troops

to make it possible for them to take Van, it would have worked to intimidate

us.

And yet, Juna shook her head. "Most likely, the Amidonians were

hesitant to allow that. They must have been worried that if the Empire came

with a huge army, there was a risk they'd take this country for themselves."

"As the country that issued the Mankind Declaration, I somehow doubt

the Empire would do that, though, you know?" I said.

If they said they wouldn't recognize any changes in borders on one

hand, and then launched a war of invasion on the other, the Mankind

Declaration wouldn't be worth the paper it was written on. If that happened,

they would lose the trust of the countries in their alliance, and the Empire's

strategy of uniting mankind in the face of the Demon Lord's Domain would

collapse.

"I mean, that's exactly why the Empire offered to mediate," I added.

"Amidonia has already circumvented the Mankind Declaration," said

Juna. "Having betrayed the trust of the Empire themselves, they may be

nervous about being betrayed in turn."

"...Like being caught in their own web of lies, huh."

They had been caught in their own trap. The principality had acted

against the wishes of the Empire, but they had to cling to its authority now

that they had found themselves in a crisis. They must have felt somewhat

guilty about that.

On top of that, nobody respects opportunists, so they had lost the trust of

other countries. They had to be trembling with fear that the Empire would

abandon them.

"It makes you want to roll your eyes a bit... but it's convenient for us," I

said. "If there's a rift between the principality and the Empire, there may be

room for us to act."

"Hee hee hee, it's time for our king to show off his skills," said Juna.

"...I wish you wouldn't put so much pressure on me, you know?" I

asked.

"Oh, my, and here I thought you were Master Kazuya right now?" she

responded playfully.

She probably wanted to get back at me for earlier. That was Juna for you

—just when you thought you had a leg up on her, she'd turn things back

around.

"Good day, everyone. It's time for News Elfrieden."

Then, suddenly, we heard Chris Tachyon's voice.

It looked like it was time for the afternoon news broadcast. When I

looked up, the image of Chris reading out the news was displayed on the

mist in the air.

Wow... So this is what our broadcasts look like to the people in town, I

thought. This was my first time seeing it on one of the fountain receivers.

With the screen being as big as a movie theater's, it made quite an impact.

"Now, our first story of the day. The new coastal city under construction

in Eastern Elfrieden, Venetinova, is currently nearing completion. With

Venetinova in place, shipping by land and sea will become more efficient,

allow for the faster delivery of commodities to..."

This news would had been gathered from all around the Elfrieden

Kingdom (which included Van), using messenger kuis like the one Aisha

used to stay in contact with the God-Protected Forest. (Messenger kuis were

birds, like messenger pigeons. Using their homing instinct and their ability

to detect the waves emitted by their master at long distances, they allowed a

specific individual and location to contact each other.) Their strength was

that even mountain villages that didn't receive Jewel Voice Broadcasts

could still receive information. However, unlike the Jewel Voice Broadcast,

which could communicate information in real time, that information would

come a day or two late.

For instance, if an incident occurred in Lagoon City in the far northeast

of Elfrieden, the information wouldn't be directly delivered to Van. Instead,

it would wait for the kuis that carried news to each city at regular intervals.

Then, when the kui carried the news to another city, other kuis would leave

that city to bring the news to other cities. The kuis had to fly long distances,

so this was to protect against communication being cut off if a kui was

attacked by a predator en route. By the way, urgent news would be

delivered not by messenger kui, but by wyvern riders.

Because of that, it wasn't possible to deliver all the news that happened

in a day on that same day.

"Now, onto our next story. In the early hours of yesterday morning, a

minor fire broke out in Van..."

From there, Chris reported the various accidents and incidents that had

occurred in the kingdom, followed by information on how to cook lily root

dumplings and other useful information for people's daily lives.

As for myself, I thought it would be convenient if we could incorporate

a weather forecast into the program, but that seemed like it would be quite

difficult. There was a certain amount of weather lore in this world, and

there were people who could predict the weather by reading the clouds

based off many long years of experience. However, as I just mentioned,

without a high-speed means of communication, we couldn't transmit that

information in real time.

News about typhoons can be a matter of life and death, so I'd like to

figure out something... I thought.

As I was thinking about that, I heard a sudden sigh.

"To think they'd use the Jewel Voice Broadcast like this..."

In front of me, a girl dressed like an adventurer stood with her back

facing me. She stood with her back straight, her airy golden ponytail

swaying behind her. For a moment, I thought she looked a lot like Liscia,

but this girl had her hair tied back in a higher position, and Liscia's hair was

medium-short now. The girl turned to show me her pretty face in profile.

"We absolutely must implement this system in our country," she said.

"When I return, I'll draw up a proposal for it. Still, just how would you

come up with such an advanced idea?"

She asked me that with a straight face.

What's this, out of nowhere? I was thinking, when Juna stood up beside

me. Then she placed herself between the girl and me.

"Juna?" I asked.

"Be careful," Juna cautioned as she stood there to protect me. She had a

grim look on her face, and it was apparent from her tone of voice that she

was worried. "This girl is an accomplished warrior. It's regrettable that

Aisha isn't here. Even if I were ready to die taking her down, I don't know

that I could stop her..."

"Is she that strong?" I asked.

Seeing the cautious reaction from Juna, the girl with the ponytail

grinned. "You needn't worry, I have no hostile intent, Lorelei Juna Doma."

Juna inhaled sharply. "You know me..."

"Of course," she said. "I approached you because I'm aware of who you

are. We have agents of our own, after all."

That means she knows who I am, too, huh, I thought.

She must have planned to make contact here knowing that I would be

coming in disguise. This had happened because the establishment of an

intelligence corps for the kingdom had been delayed by my doubts in the

personnel I had to run it.

But, if she says she has no hostile intent...

"You're with the Empire?" I asked.

"Yes," the girl said, bringing a hand to her chest and bowing her head.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir Souma Kazuya. I am the younger sister of

Empress Maria Euphoria of the Gran Chaos Empire, and the one who

handles military affairs in her stead, Jeanne Euphoria."

I whispered to Juna, "What happened to our guards?"

"It seems she has guards of her own, so they can't move," answered

Juna.

"That would be why she came alone, huh," I said. "...Take care of

Tomoe for me."

I left Tomoe, who was groggy from being suddenly shaken awake, with

Juna and stood facing Jeanne Euphoria. She had been in the reports I'd

received. There was a princess who handled military affairs under the Saint

of the Empire, Empress Maria Euphoria; and, as Maria was currently

unwed, she was also the first in the line of succession. This must be her

sister, I reasoned.

"Does Madam Maria's younger sister have some business in our

country?" I asked.

I made a point of talking down to her. Because our country hadn't signed

the Mankind Declaration, I didn't have to pay respects to Empress Maria as

my leader. In other words, as both of us were leaders of independent

nations, my rank was equal to Maria's. And seeing as Jeanne was the

younger sister of the empress, her rank was that of a vassal, and so I was

above her. I had no desire to put on airs with my own vassals, but when

dealing with foreigners, it was important that our positions be made clear.

Jeanne responded as if that were perfectly natural. "No particular

business. I simply wished to see how the person I'll be negotiating with

rules for myself, but my agents received information that you would be

sneaking into the castle town today, so I thought I might as well come

introduce myself."

So she hadn't originally planned to meet me. She'd just happened to

learn I was taking a day off while she was here, so she'd attempted to make

contact.

"Still, it was quite bold of you to come into Van while we're occupying

it," I said.

"I'm the type that only believes what she's seen with her own two eyes,

after all," Jeanne replied. "The rumors about you have reached as far as the

Empire, many of them unsubstantiated, so I wanted to find out for myself."

Rumors? There are rumors about me in the Empire? I thought.

"What sort of rumors would those be?" I asked.

"They say things like: you're 'the brilliant ruler who rescued an

economy on the brink of collapse,' or that you 'invented ways of preparing

foods that there had been no custom of eating before and saved the country

from a food crisis,' or that you 'demonstrated unparalleled strength in

battle, mowing down swarms of enemies one after another'... and more."

"There's been a lot of embellishment along the way, huh," I commented.

Not one of those things had been accomplished by my strength alone.

The economic restructuring had been the bureaucrats' hard work, and

gathering the ingredients and teaching us how to prepare them had been

Poncho's accomplishment. As for the war, I'd only set the armies in motion,

then left the fighting to stronger people. In the end, if you were to name one

thing I'd done, "I delegated tasks to people who could handle them" would

be it.

"Oh, and there were rumors that you were an 'insatiable sex fiend,' too,"

Jeanne added.

"Wait, hold on!"

Who're you calling a sex fiend?!

"Where did those rumors come from?!" I exclaimed.

"The rumor says: 'Despite being betrothed to the beautiful daughter of

the former king, he gathered beauties from around the kingdom to select a

concubine,' or something like that. Is Madam Juna here not the one chosen

to be your concubine?"

What a horrible misunderstanding! They must have been talking about

the Elfrieden Pretty Girl Grand Prix I'd run as part of my search for talented

personnel. When I'd said I was searching for people with any gift, there had

been a lot of applications in the fields of martial arts, beauty, and arts. All

I'd done was create a tournament format for them to compete in.

I hadn't even come up with the plan for Project Lorelei at that point.

Come to think of it, at the time there had been rumors that "The beauty

tournament might be for the king to find mistresses," and the nobles had all

tried to send their relatives to participate. Had other countries seen it the

same way?

"A-A concubine, am I...? Well, yes, I did know there were rumors to that

effect," Juna said, her face turning red.

Was she serious?

I hadn't known there were rumors like that... and it was kind of hard to

accept it. Ever since I had taken the throne, I had been struggling under

such a murderous workload that even my relations with Liscia had stayed

completely chaste. Actually, it was a bit late to say this now, but my

relationship with Liscia had skipped over a lot of important steps, hadn't it?

We were betrothed to be married, and yet we hadn't even been on a proper

date, let alone kissed.

While I was thinking about all that, Jeanne looked at me pensively.

"Hm... If that rumor was false, I suppose I can't use that method."

"What method?" I asked.

"Well, if you were a lecherous king, I thought if I had my gorgeous

sister welcome you and ask really nicely, you might accept our requests

quite easily."

"What were you planning to make the Saint of the Empire do?!" I

yelped.

"It seems my sister is not overly fond of that 'saint' title, but... maybe

men find her being a 'saint' quite appealing?" she asked.

"Well... I can sort of see that," I said. "The Saint of the Empire, Maria"...

The words themselves had an incredible impact. For one thing, if a woman

is being called a saint, it makes you want to see her. It raises the expectation

that she's beautiful and noble.

...Wait, I had that title of "hero," too, now that I thought about it. Even

though I'd been summoned as a hero from another world, I hadn't done

anything particularly heroic, so I'd totally forgotten.

"Titles, hm?" Juna asked. "Do you think they find 'lorelei' appealing,

too?"

"Why are you getting in on this, Juna?!" I cried.

"Oh, no... I just wondered..."

Jeanne giggled. "Hee hee! You're more fun than I thought you'd be."

Jeanne was watching us banter with a smile.

"We're not doing it because we want to amuse you, though," I said.

"No, no, the closeness between you and your vassals is a mark of the

stability in your country, I'm sure," she said. "We couldn't get away with

that back home."

"...It's different in the Empire?" I asked.

"Our territory is needlessly large, and the empress's power is great," said

Jeanne. "They call her a saint and half-worship her, so everyone is very

reserved around her. About the only people she has that she can talk with

casually are our family. On top of that, my sister takes being an empress

entirely too seriously, so she tries to treat everyone equally, which leaves

her in a position where she can't open up to anyone."

Jeanne shrugged her shoulders and looked at the crowd in the plaza.

"It was the same with this. Even though there's no benefit to us in

helping Amidonia after they ignored the Mankind Declaration..."

"For the younger sister of Madam Maria, with all the ideals she tries to

uphold, you take an awfully realistic perspective," I said.

"If the elder sister is a dreamer, the younger needs to be firmly

grounded," Jeanne said with a wry smile.

Hm... It felt like Jeanne was closer to my way of thinking than Maria.

Instead of embracing lofty ideals, she was the sort who could come up with

pragmatic solutions.

When you hold up ideals, people gather around you. However, if you

hold up those ideals for too long, sooner or later, you lose your path.

Someone has to be there to keep an eye on the ground in front of you.

Having the more realistic Jeanne by her side must have been what let Maria

keep holding up her ideals.

The Empire had the largest population on the continent. I didn't know

how many extremely talented people they had there, but in terms of relative

numbers, they must have had far more than my country.

Jeanne pointed to image of Chris projected in the air above us. "By the

way, that's an incredible way of using the Jewel Voice Broadcast. By

releasing information regularly, you use it to help alleviate the fears of your

people. Do you mind if we do the same back home?"

"...Do as you please," I said.

I mean, it wasn't like it would be hard to imitate. It wasn't something I

could forbid her from doing, either.

"Thank you," said Jeanne. "How do you come up with such advanced

ideas?"

"This is advanced?" I asked. "It was pretty normal in the world I came

from."

"The world you came from... Of course." Jeanne's smile suddenly

vanished.

As I was wondering what was up, Jeanne straightened her posture and

bowed deeply. She bent over until her hips were at a right angle. It was a

deep enough bow that, if the custom existed in this world, she might have

done a formal kowtow instead.

I was befuddled by her suddenly lower profile. "Wh-What's wrong?

This is so sudden."

"You've been horribly inconvenienced because of us," said Jeanne. "In

my absent sister's place, I apologize."

"You're apologizing?" I asked, startled.

When Jeanne raised her face, she bore a pained expression. "This is

about the hero summoning. It was our request that caused the Elfrieden

Kingdom to summon you to this world. My sister Maria deeply regrets that

you, who had done us no wrong, were cut off from your homeland and

called to this world. Please, forgive us."

With those words, Jeanne lowered her head once more.

...Oh, is that all? I thought.

"Raise your head. It's all in the past."

"But..." she said.

"Yeah, at first, I was mad, and I worked my hardest not to get turned

over to the Empire," I said. "Now, though... when I think about it more

calmly, the Empire has no reason to want a hero."

At first, I thought they'd wanted a hero to fight back against the threat of

the Demon Lord's Domain, but the more I came to understand this world,

the more I realized that probably hadn't been it.

Right now, the Demon Lord's Domain had stopped expanding. The

expansion of the border meant that the monsters that came south were

spread further, and the various countries could handle them. It was a

stalemate; with neither side able to push forward, the situation was more or

less stable.

In other words, the Empire wasn't in a situation where it would want a

hero. A superpower like the Empire had had no need to cling to a

summoning ritual that the kingdom itself wouldn't have been sure they

could pull off in the first place.

Besides, when they'd summoned a hero, they'd gotten me.

While a guy who could use incredible magic with power comparable to

a weapon of mass destruction would be one thing, or a guy who could equip

invincible sword and armor, a guy from another world with a power that

happened to make administrative tasks a little easier wasn't going to be of

any interest to the Empire with its massive population and the large number

of personnel it had as a result.

However, that being the case, the Empire had asked the kingdom to

perform the hero summoning. After considering the matter with Hakuya for

some time, we had come to a certain conclusion. It was...

"That was an attempt to show consideration, right?" I asked. "Towards a

kingdom that couldn't pay the war subsidies."

Jeanne reacted with startled surprise. "...Yes," she said with resignation.

...I knew it.

In the Mankind Declaration, which the Empire had proposed, it said,

"Countries that are distant from the Demon Lord's Domain will provide

support to those nations which are adjacent to it and are acting as a

defensive wall."

The Empire had wanted the Elfrieden Kingdom, as a country that was

distant from the Demon Lord's Domain, to provide support to the countries

adjacent to it. If they hadn't, there would have been complaints from the

other signatories to the Mankind Declaration.

However, at the time, with the food crisis and financial crisis slowly

pushing the kingdom to the point of collapse, it would have been nearly

impossible to find the money for war subsidies.

"That's why the Empire had the kingdom perform the hero summoning,

to give them the appearance of having provided support," I said. "In order

to keep down the complaints from the other signatories."

"...That's exactly it," said Jeanne.

"Hold on," Juna protested. "This country never signed the Mankind

Declaration. Were we ever obligated to provide support to begin with?"

I shook my head. "It's a fact that this country was benefiting from the

defensive wall the Empire built with the Mankind Declaration. Because we

have the Union of Eastern Nations to the north of us, we didn't have to

share a border with the Demon Lord's Domain." It was also a fact that the

Union of Eastern Nations was being propped up by war subsidies under the

Mankind Declaration. "If we benefit from it, but refuse to fulfill the

obligations set out under it because we're a non-signatory, that's going to

breed resentment from the signatory countries. With that as a pretext,

Amidonia might have been able to create an alliance of several nations to

invade the kingdom. With the Empire taking the lead."

"No..." Juna said, at a loss for words, but this was the truth.

In the recent war, because the only nation plotting to invade had been

the Principality of Amidonia, we had been able to induce them to do so

under conditions that were favorable to us, and defeat them.

From Amidonia's perspective, I was sure they'd wanted to make all of

the land they occupied their own, but if they had roped in the mercenary

state Zem, the Republic of Turgis, and some portion of the Union of Eastern

Nations, along with the Imperial Army, there would have been nothing the

kingdom could have done to avoid a total collapse.

I looked Jeanne straight in the eye and said, "With your goal of uniting

all mankind to prepare for the menace of the Demon Lord's Domain, the

Empire wanted to avoid that. That's why you demanded war subsidies from

non-signatories, and for those that couldn't pay, you tried to find a workable

substitute to appease the signatories, right? In the kingdom's case, that was

a hero."

"...I have no words," said Jeanne.

"To be brutally honest, the Empire didn't even expect the hero

summoning to work, did it?" I asked. "Okay, this being a world with magic,

you might have thought they'd summon something, but you can't have had

high expectations for something the kingdom itself didn't think would

work. Even if the summoning had failed, you would have been satisfied by

the fact it was performed."

"That's right. But, as a result of that, you were summoned," Jeanne said,

looking troubled. "What's more, ever since you were summoned here and

given the throne by Sir Albert, you've worked actively to rebuild this

country, even finding the money to provide war subsidies. While my sister

was grateful, she also regretted forcing such a heavy burden on you when

you were called here at our convenience. We truly are sorry."

Jeanne bowed once more.

I sighed, saying, "I already told you, it's in the past. Now that I now the

situation, I don't resent you for it. It's not like I don't have a lingering

attachment to my old world, but... but..."

I glanced from Juna, with a tense look on her face, to Tomoe.

There was nobody left who would wait for me to come home in my old

world. Since coming to this world, I had found people here who would.

Whenever I returned to the castle, Liscia, Aisha, Juna, and Tomoe would be

there to say, "Welcome home." Having felt the loneliness of solitude, that

was something I never wanted to lose again.

"I've found people here I want to protect," I said simply. "That's why

I'm not too hung up over it. Mind you, if you feel bad enough about it that

you'll recognize my sovereignty over Van, I'm not gonna complain."

When I said that jokingly, Jeanne raised her face quietly shook her head.

"...Sadly, I, too, have a family to protect."

Neither of us averted our gaze. We each looked the other straight in the

eye.

"I see... well, we'll have to negotiate, then," I said.

"Yes," Jeanne said. "Please, go easy on me when the time comes."

With an "I'll take my leave," Jeanne turned her back and faded into the

crowd. She vanished as quickly as she had appeared.

"The presences I felt surrounding us have vanished, too," Juna

commented. "It looks like Jeanne's bodyguards have withdrawn."

"She really did just come to say hello, huh..." I looked in the direction

Jeanne had left. "Jeanne Euphoria... the pragmatic younger sister who

supports the idealistic saint."

If it had only been Amidonia's crown prince, Julius, I'd have to contend

with, I felt there was no way I could have lost at the negotiations. But with

Jeanne mediating, I wouldn't be able to rely too much on his weaknesses. If

I tried to get too crafty and they saw through it, there was the risk that they

might turn things to his advantage by pointing it out.

I'll have to let Hakuya know he's going to need to give his all at the

negotiations, too...

I slapped my cheeks, trying to psyche myself up for it.

That evening...

"Liscia, Aisha," I said. "I brought souvenirs for you two."

Having returned to the castle, I gave Liscia and Aisha the gifts I'd

bought for them. Liscia got that choker made of blue leather with silver foil

scattered around like stars, while Aisha got the pale lipstick.

Liscia immediately put the choker around her neck, fingering the bird

clasp with a satisfied smile. "Thanks, Souma. I'll treasure it."

The slightly shy smile wasn't like Liscia, and I couldn't help but stare at

her, enthralled.

Whew, I was relieved that she liked it. It suited her well, and I was glad

I'd bought it.

Meanwhile, Aisha...

"Ohhhh, Your Majesty! To think you would bestow a gift even on one

such as me, I am awed and delighted! When you left me behind, I felt

down, but this has lifted my spirits as high as the heavens!"

"W-Well, good for you... Aisha..." Juna said.

"Yes, Madam Juna! With this lipstick, I swear I will polish my

femininity! Then, His Majesty will never let me leave his side... heh heh

heh."

"G-Good luck with that..."

Aisha was a little too thrilled. The happy aura beaming from her entire

body seemed to be enough to seriously weird Juna out. Juna, by the way,

was also wearing the hair piece I'd given her.

"Sire! Sire!" cried Aisha. "How is it? Does it look good on me?"

Aisha put on her lipstick and started acting flirty right away. If Aisha

hadn't been a dark elf, and she had been a mystic wolf like Tomoe instead,

her tail would have been wagging like crazy.

When she saw how overexuberant Aisha was, Liscia traced the outline

of her choker with one finger, looking to me. "Don't you think the collar

would have been a better match for Aisha?"

"...Let me go with 'no comment' on that one," I said.