What a charming evening. The ballroom of the Miyami Kurikawa Hotel in the middle of Tokyo City is full of dazzling crowds. Hundreds of invited guests wore the best clothes and journalists flocked to certain spots to carry out interviews. 

The red carpet stretches from the entrance to the innermost room. There were so many public figures who were special guests. They are actors, actresses, sportsmen, designers, photographers, models, YouTubers, magazine editors, food enthusiasts, bloggers, comic artists, novelists, and many more. However, they are celebrities in their respective fields.

One of the most popular is Renji Isamu. A BL Novelist Sensei and a senior at the publishing company Mayumi who was awarded the prestigious Kikukawa award tonight.

The beautiful women who surrounded him were even more sullen than the reporters. They cling to the scent of various brands of perfume and the latest lipstick colors just to get his attention. In hand, each carrying a novel 1050 pages thick stamped a best seller with a sales rate of 35 reprints throughout 2018.

Really extraordinary indeed. Especially with that handsome look. His golden eyes that gleamed under the lights were even more charming than the actors on the stage there.

Renji Isamu who had stepped off the stage after receiving a sparkling trophy. Its charm flashes like a red rose swarmed by bees far away. Beautiful, but he looked uncomfortable. His smile was fake when he scribbled all the novels with his signature. And every time the reporter asked something, he answered casually. Indifferent, seem indifferent, but everyone still admires.

Haru, his most loyal friend and personal manager politely asks them to stay away. They also protested, but what if the rundown of the event had changed. 

Renji Isamu has to move the panel towards a special celebration session. At another hotel, a party awaits and is organized by the publishing company that houses it.

All novelists in Japan must be jealous these days. Even though they only watch the program on television or stream on social media. Their saliva was probably dripping seeing the man walking out on the red carpet. With the reporters still on chase, the screaming fans, the eager bodyguards separating the crowd and Haru insisting on towing him into the limousine.

The long-bodied luxury car awaits. The door opened one and Renji walked in with a nervous push from Haru. When it was about to close, the fans looked like they were clawing. 

As soon as the wheels were running, Haru took a deep breath. "Oh my God ... today was really tiring," he complained. And when he glanced, Renji was just silent. He looked out the window with empty eyes. The gleaming trophy in his hand looked even more valuable than a junk. "Ren, are you okay?"

Stupid question. 

Haru knew that. 

Renji Isamu. That man. What a million people want, but his heart only wants one woman. 

Jean Liew. The two of them have been in touch for the past 7 years. Precisely since the beginning, he entered undergraduate course.

Unfortunately three days ago the woman dumped him. With one hard throw, the ring on her finger flew down to the riverbed. The beautiful pendant around her neck was pulled roughly. Then stepped under the feet.




The ones in brackets are flashbacks/sometimes talking inside. 



["You really are disgusting!"] shouted Jean before leaving. Renji has forgotten how it came from. To be sure everything feels like a dream. Those who had endured that long faded away in the end. 

Haru can only be quiet watching all of it. ["Ren, let's go home ..."] said Haru. But Renji seemed blind and deaf. The man was just silent and picked up the remaining broken locket.

[Flashback End]

Looking at him in the palm without blinking, even Haru hugged him. 

"I know you're hurt. But hold on, okay? The day after tomorrow is a big reward for you."

Renji was still silent when he was brought home. The man followed his steps to the car and did not speak to the penthouse. At the door, Haru sighed again. He little pocket Renji's pants to find his thick wallet. There were only a few yen there but full of cards.

Haru took the key card and swiped the door open. "Come on, come in," he said. "You just rest tonight. I'll make hot tea before you go." 

Renji sat on the edge of the bed. Haru hopes that the man immediately lies down to remember this late night, unfortunately nothing. He remained in the same position from the time he left for the kitchen until Haru returned with hot tea. 

"Oh, my God ... really ..." Haru put the tea on top of the nightstand. He squatted in front of Renji and took off his footwear one by one. First shoes, two socks, and three scarves full of snowflakes.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" 

Haru looked up, Renji started staring at him. "Yes." 

Haru smiled with relief. "Then have your tea first, okay?" he said. "And finish—" 

"Sleep with you." 


Renji is silent. Didn't answer, and didn't try to explain.

Honestly, Haru already understood. Even so he couldn't stop thinking. How can his friend ask for sex at times that are not conducive. Isn't his heart broken? Oh ... that's right. He might just need an outlet. 

Ren, are you sure?" 

Renji remained silent. But Haru knew, it was more than explaining.

"Ren, listen," Haru held the two hands. Cold, frozen, and felt empty like the wind. "Jean may just be a little tired. Did you see her eyes earlier? She must have a problem right now. And if she gets stuck, she will come back to you." 


This time it was Haru who fell silent.

"She's really tired now," said Renji. Slowly he looked up at the ceiling of the room. "Have I been neglecting too much all this time." 

"Hey ... that's not it ..." said Haru. 

"Or it turns out she can't accept this kind of me." This is it. Haru was stunned by that one word. Because the meaning is so deep.




NB: Please open the comments if you want to see the depiction of my novel characters through the appearance of cosplayers and art

1. Renji Isamu

(cosplayer version)

(art version)

2. Ginnan Takahashi

(cosplayer version)

(art version)

3. Haruki Yamada

(cosplayer version)

(art version)

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