5 Their Dilemma
Eddard's POV
North, Winterfell, 287AC
In the solitude of my solar, I find myself seeking refuge in another cup of ale. The presence of my nephew—whom I've raised as my own son—has become a constant source of unrest. Since Cregan began to walk, chaos seems to shadow his footsteps, a puzzle to which I find no answers. Even as a toddler, he was prone to vanishing from the nursery, only to be found hours later, collapsed in some forgotten corner of Winterfell, starved and shivering. The illnesses that followed were numerous and worrying.
I have strived to provide all my children with a joyous upbringing, yet Catelyn remains unconvinced. Haunted by visions of betrayal reminiscent of the Blackfyre rebellions, she fears they will grow into schemers, poised to usurp her own children. Her fears, though steeped in the tales of southern intrigue, overlook the unyielding bonds of Northern loyalty; the Starks have united the North for millennia through familial love and loyalty, not through hatred and treachery.
While Jon's mild temperament allows for easier guidance, Cregan is an enigma—his moods as changeable as the northern sky. One moment he is joyous, mingling freely with all; the next, he is embroiled in conflict with septon, stable boys, or cooks. Not a week passes without incident or complaint once he reached his fifth name day. The servants whisper of the ancient blood running through his veins, attributing his rapid growth to our Stark lineage—a reminder of his mother's fierce spirit.
His preference for the solitude of the library over the playful antics of childhood strikes me as peculiar—could this be an inherited trait from his true father, reputed for his wisdom? It seems both his bloodlines wage a silent war within him, a clash of ice and fire. Catelyn views the boy as a palpable threat, especially as rumors of his uniqueness spread beyond Winterfell's walls, attracting the curiosity of visiting lords, much to her dismay.
Regrettably, her anxieties are beginning to taint my own perceptions. I had plans to have both boys join the Night's Watch upon their sixteenth name day, believing the Wall a place where they could freely excel without the burden of inheritance. However, Cregan now expresses a newfound passion for blacksmithing over swordplay—an essential, yet undervalued craft at the Wall where martial prowess is esteemed above all.
Soon, Benjen will arrive to retrieve supplies for the Wall, and I plan to have him speak to Cregan. He will share the virtues of the Night's Watch, perhaps embellishing with tales that highlight the honor in rising through its ranks. I dare not reveal the true identity of their parents; the realm is not yet healed from the scars of past wars, and such truths could easily rip open old wounds.
A promise was made to their dying mother, and I will uphold it—whatever the cost. My children must be safe, even if that means sending them into the cold embrace of the Wall. In the quiet of my solar, as I ponder these heavy decisions, I realize that my hopes for peace and simplicity in their lives might cause a bigger storm.
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Catelyn's POV
As I rock gently by the fire, my newborn daughter nestled against my chest, I find myself mulling over the tumultuous year that has passed. From the moment I arrived at Winterfell, a sense of unwelcome chilled me deeper than the northern air itself. Only Septa Mordane, who accompanied me to this stark land, provided any comfort amidst the strangeness. Here, the fruits are never fresh, the wine lacks refinement, and the heavy clothes chafe against my skin. Yet, I adapted, for it is my duty to stand by Ned as his lady and wife.
I have given him a strong son and two beautiful daughters, yet he has tested my resolve by bringing his bastards into our home, expecting me to raise them as if they were my own. How could he? In war, men may stray—that was the unspoken rule I was raised to expect, even from my own father. But Ned, with his unwavering honor, seemed above such acts. His betrayal gnaws at me: was I not enough? What did she possess that I did not? His decision to raise these children alongside our trueborns haunts me daily.
Gazing down at my daughter, her small, warm form a bundle of innocence, fear grips my heart. I dread the day one of Ned's bastards might threaten her safety. They must be cast out, far from where they can ever harm my children. Cregan especially unnerves me—a child unnaturally quick to walk and talk, branded a prodigy by the whispering masses. I hear their murmurs, the doubts cast upon my son's legitimacy, their claims that he does not resemble a true Northerner, or fit to rule.
My resolve hardens. I will cleanse Winterfell of Ned's mistakes. A letter has already been dispatched to my father, requesting that he send new maids and gifts for my daughter's celebration. Ned will find it difficult to refuse these "gifts." The new faces will sway the keep's loyalty to my favor, ensuring that no bastard overshadows my trueborn son.
Lost in these dark contemplations, I am startled by the opening door. Septa Mordane enters, Sansa in tow, her beauty a sharp contrast to the grim thoughts clouding my mind. My heart swells with ambition for her. With Ned's royal connections, perhaps a match with the prince could secure her a queen's crown, and in turn, strengthen Robb's rule over the North.
Determined, I hand my infant to Mordane, taking Sansa's hand as we head towards the sept I had Ned build for me. "We're going to pray, Sansa," I tell her as we walk.
She looks up, hopeful. "Can I play with my brothers afterwards?"
I stiffen at her words. "Brothers? You have only one brother, Sansa. The others are nothing but the embodiment of sin. I don't want you near them," I snap, regretting my harshness as I see her small face fall.
Yes, I will have Mordane educate her properly. She must understand the realities of our world, the burdens of nobility, and the roles she is destined to fulfill. As we enter the sanctity of the sept, I whisper a prayer not just for guidance, but for the strength to protect my family against all that threatens it.
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Yall asked and I did. :)
