Little is enough

"Class has ended, you may leave" Said Mr. Anderson to the class before him. With that sentence everyone in the class started to leave, except one student. He had a reason to stay. So when everyone except Nikolai left the class...

"Why you are not leaving" Said Mr. Anderson with a sad tone after walking towards him with small steps. He knew why the child did not leave yet. His family situation was really messed up.

"Did something happened again?" The last time of something bad happened to him was 1 week ago, Nikolai came to school with a bruised eye at that time. Mr. Anderson knew that it was because of his father.

Nikolai was a genius in academics. Even without being able to study at home he aced every exam that was about maths and science. But his language skills were only subpar. Appearently it was because he did not learn language correctly in his early life. This was caused by his father taking her mother to other places while he was left with his grandmother who rarely talked.

"Nothing special, just everyday life i guess." Nikolai said with an undifferent tone. He knew he could not stay here longer as it was closing time. He had to go to that shithole again for the night. The only bright sight was he had the money that he saved for buying the headset he wanted. His house being a shitshow, he layed low at the house and played videogames to pass time. His current headphones was the ones that came with his old phone, so they were not good at all. He accumulated this money in 2 years. At first he didn't know what to buy with the savings but he knew he would need it someday. So when he felt frustrated because of his headphones in a game, he decided to buy a good headset.

With that he stood up and started to walk towards the exit, passing by Mr. Anderson in the narrow way between the student tables. When he passed Mr. Anderson, he turned slowly to Nikolai then said:

"I can not know what you are going through but if you let me help, i may be able to do just that." Mr. Anderson felt helpless watching this child going to somewhere that might just be his demise in the future.

Stopping his steps Nikolai said without turning:

"I will buy a headset on the way home. I am excited. Take care" His voice had no trace of excitement, in fact his voice had no feeling. It was like he was dead inside. Then he started again his stopped movement. Leaving Mr. Anderson with sorrow in his heart.

Mr. Anderson loved watching childs grow, but he couldn't see the growth in Nikolai, he was stuck in a neverending nightmare. Being aware of this was hurting him to the bone, but he was helpless as a teacher. He had no power on Nikolais family.

On the way back "home", Nikolai was in front of a tech shop. He knew what he wanted to buy as he looked at the models online before. He entered the building with unsecure steps. It was the first time he wanted to buy something for himself, and he wanted to show it to other people with an unboxing video. He wanted to show the world that he existed as he opened opened something that belonged to him. It was the motivation for the days.

He found the model he wanted from the displayed items on the long corridors that had different categories of tech, like laptops, smartphones, televisions etc. He then continued to the check out. A girl that was bored greeted him with a lazy attitude as she saw the child in front of her. She thought that this child was going to ask something silly about the headset he was holding. 'I mean look at his backbag' she thought to herself. Nikolai was a 11th grader. So he was relatively a child still.

"I want to buy this headset." Nikolai said to the girl in a searious tone. This was a surprise, a child that had no parent was in front of the cashier saying that he wanted to buy a headset. After looking at the child with curious eyes she then took the headset and to check its price.

"70 bucks." She only said and Nikolai knew this already. From a secret pocket in his backpack he took the money and gave it to the girl. She counted it then gave the headset to the child alongside the receipt.

"Thank you." Nikolai said to the girl with a slight smile.

"Anytime." She said with a smile too after seeing the sincere expression of the teenager before her.

So his time on the outside was nearing its end. He had to not show the headset to his father if he wanted to use it at all. Not counting the beatings he would get for doing this on his own in case he was caught, he walked slowly to "his" house.

'How can i shoot a good video? I need to do it when the house is empty, or else..' A sudden trembling took over his body and quickly he recovered. He did not even wanted to think about it. The excitement was real this time. He was like a thief going on about stealing the most precious artwork from Louvre. Of course on a much smaller scale.

He entered the familiar building where his room was located at. He had no choice but to just put the headset inside his backpack and hope for the best. So he did just that. He was excited on the inside but he did not show any of it on the outside. With this he knocked the door after climbing the stairs to the third floor. A women opened the door with trembling hands. Her mother had no chronic desease but after the constant beatings of Nikolais father she developed this trembling.

"Welcome home, sweetheart" She said with a loving tone. Nikolai loved his mother, and Selia loved his son. They only had each other against the beast that lurked next to them. She always took the beatings for his sons sake. Gordon, the monster that lurked in the dark, was jealous of Nikolai. Gordon had no strong point while his son was a genious in maths and science. And he was an alcoholic. The gist is easy to get. So scary nights was common. Whenever he was drinking Selia was next to him, disrupting his thought process for him to leave Nikolai alone and focus on her. This worked most of the time as Gordon was an idiot in the eyes of Nikolai, but not always. The last weeks accident was the product of the strategy failing.

This situation had an easy fix, being bad at class so that Gordon would be satisfied with himself. But Nikolai knew that if it was so then his future would be ruined. Selia knew it too. So this was how they handled the situation.

The family was poor but not to the point of starvation. The apartment was Gordon's, so there was no rent expenditures. Although they earned very little money, it was enough for food and the bills. The other things on the other hand though was near impossible. All the money left from the basic expenditure went to Gordon's boozes.

Nikolai entered the house and hugged selia strongly. Gordon seemingly was in toilet, so going to his room without making Gordon alert was an easy task. The first thing he did was to hide the headset he bought under the removable place on the floor. Not even his mother knew such a place existed as she wasn't aware Nikolai was saving money. If she knew, then she would try to give more money. The next day was Saturday, so Gordon and Selia would be absent. That time would be the perfect time to shoot the video.

Friday night was one of the better ones. With only 'minor' quarrels between the family members about Selia putting more food on Nikolais plate than Gordons. Nikolai seeing this, before Gordon got angry, transferred half of his food onto Gordon's plate so the impending disaster was avoided.

Nikolai loved maths and science for a reason, they were like a fantasy to him. A life where he and his mother could live together happily forever, this was not a dream with the help of both of these subjects. Nikolai loved to think. Every thought process was like a lifelong journey to him. He loved being in control. If he was in control, he knew that he wouldn't be suppressed or failed because of others. Every failure was caused solely by the other people in his life. He tried his best to overcome them but nothing could be done without power.

It was a neverending paradox, he needed something for the another in every instance. This had no end.

Nikolai once wanted to get stronger physically in order to not let Gordon beat neither him nor Selia. He started to train at his own room, but gradually he found out that it was not easy. He had no determination on this subject subconsciously as beating up his dad was not his goal, it was not selias either. What happens if Nikolai beats him up? Gordon would just get divorced from selia. Both Nikolai and Selia had no means of earning money. Selia was a painter that was not very good at it and Nikolai wasn't even 18 years old. Furthermore, it would not be satisfactory to just beat him up. Gordon needed to be devoured by his jealousy and regrets while being able to do nothing. He needed to feel helpless, just like Nikolai and his mother did.

He slept with these thoughts in mind.