Chapter 2

He kept swinging and swinging, and at some point, he realised that he was actually heading for Aunt May's to beg her to hold him in her arms as she did when he was little and tell him that she loved him and that everything was going to be all right, but he wasn't a little boy anymore. He was a man, and not just any man but Spider-Man. he had learned years before that with great power came great responsibility. At that time, his most significant commitment was to find The Jackal. No matter his problems, he had his duty.

The man pushed all other thoughts aside and tried to focus on his duties, searching for Warren. He was concerned that the man might have somehow crawled away from that explosion (heaven knows he'd seen it happen before) and that the man's insanity had reinserted itself. However, he couldn't focus on anything else until he was sure that Ned Leeds was safe and that Gwen's clone was finally free of The Jackal's influence.

Until everything was sorted, he could not concern himself with anything else. For that, he needed to resupply and get more web fluid, so he decided to stop at his apartment, take a quick shower, grab a bite to eat and then continue to search, but as soon as he arrived outside his apartment window, his search ended right then and there.

At first, he thought that when he had been unconscious, the clone had slipped into his shoes and taken over his life, and he wondered if this was Jackal's plan all along. But, then, he looked in through the window at Mary Jane's face and saw the love and passion reflected in her gaze as she tried to comfort the other Peter, who pushed her away. He wanted to scream, to cry, 'No, Mary Jane! Get away from him! He's a fraud! He's a lie!'

He raised his fist, ready to smash the window and risk exposing his double identity to Mary Jane to keep the monster inside the apartment away from her and from everyone else he held dear. Still, then suddenly, a depth charge went off inside his head.

A psychic explosion started at the roots of his being and radiated up and out, ripping through every cell in his body. With the pain and shock being so tense that he lost his grip on the side of the building and plummeted to the ground, it was only his reflex that spared him from a fall that might have killed him. Maybe he would be better off if it actually had.

Because that 'explosion' opened up a door in his mind, and he knew with all his heart and soul that everything he thought proper about himself was, in fact, a lie, he wanted to deny it and repress it. He tried to dig a grave ten miles deep and bury it down there forever, but he couldn't, and all he could do to lessen the pain was to scream the truth out into the heart of the storm.

"I'M NOT PETER PARKER!!"

He started to rage. He threw a tantrum. He kicked. He screamed. He wept. He howled.

He prayed.

He was alone, an un-man haunted by recollections of an un-life. He may be in the body of Peter Parker or maybe even a clone of Peter Parker, but that didn't matter. The man in that apartment was more Peter Parker than he would ever be, regardless of who the clone was, simply because he himself was no longer Peter Parker.

He awoke in that smokestack alone and confused, and he had to rely on the powers of the spider to get out Peter Parker's abilities. Those memories took the forefront of his mind and convinced him that he was still Peter Parker, with extra memories from another life added to his head, which was reaffirmed by the fact that he was in Peter Parker's body dressed as Spider-Man.

But then he saw the other Peter in the apartment with Mary Jane. The dissonance in his mind exploded and brought out his true reason, which was a perfect blend of Peter Parker's mind and the mind of a man from another universe.

He had read stories in his previous life about people who magically took over other people's bodies and assumed their lives and entirely became that person, but what are you supposed to do when the person whose body you took over still exists and continues to live their life and you are in an exact copy of that body and have had your mind merged with his. So he fell to his knees right there in the alley and prayed right there in the rain, for help, for even a shred of hope.

He knew what needed to be done. He had to collect his memories and pack his bag of stolen thoughts, and leave. Leave Aunt May and Mary Jane, The Bugle and ESU, his friends and his enemies, and himself. Because they belonged to Peter Parker, and Peter Parker was alive while he was dead and buried. Somehow in the years of wandering to come, he was going to have to resurrect himself and become someone else, but right now, he needed time, time to process and time to figure out where to go from here.

--------------------------------------

So he just spent a few hours sitting on top of a roof across from his own apartment, Peter's apartment, and watching everything that was going on inside while trying to process his life. It really put things into perspective watching Peter and seeing the differences and similarities between them, which were numerous and frustrating.

Peter spent the last few hours inside his apartment moping about his circumstances and ignoring Mary Jane before getting some shuteye, things that he found pathetic and ridiculous since one-half of his consciousness was now made up from the mind of a man who wouldn't let himself be stopped by things like guilt or pity, he was a man who placed himself foremost and made the most of all resources available to him.

It would actually not be correct to say half of him because that is not technically correct. So instead of having half of that man's mind and half of Peter Parker's mind, he had both minds. So instead of it being a half plus a half, it was, in actual fact, one plus one, which equalled 2. So he was that man from the other universe, and he was Peter Parker, and because of that, he is neither now. He is someone new because that man and Peter Parker were both individuals, and now he is both of those individuals.

He now had the best and the worst of both worlds. he had Peter Parker's morals, compassion, kindness, guilt, intelligence and heart, along with the man's selfishness, ruthlessness, single-mindedness, ambition and willingness to do whatever it takes.

He had no doubt that if he were only made up of that man's mind now, then he would be plotting to kill the Peter Parker inside the apartment and assume his life driven by his self-preservation and selfishness. But, on the other hand, he also had no doubt that if he were only made up of Peter Parker's mind now, then he would be running away without a plan giving up all aspects of his life, including Spider-Man and his powers driven by his guilt and his willingness for self-sacrifice.

It was a good thing that he wasn't made up of only one of them, or he would be making some pretty stupid or evil decisions right now. Still, instead, he is now being cautious and taking a measure of the situation before deciding on what course of action to take. Still, it killed him to see Peter inside the apartment be so callous and at arm's length with Mary Jane as he still harboured deep feelings for her, as diluted as they might be after combining both his memories together, no doubt that Peter inside the apartment feels what he feels a thousand time more even if he doesn't see that at the moment.

But regardless, Mary Jane loved Peter Parker and not him. It seems that Peter has woken up and decided to make a move, and he does so in a regular fashion as he shoots off across the New York skyline dressed as Spider-Man. He quickly follows, wanting to gather as much information as possible and discover what exactly happened after the jumbotron exploded and collapsed on him. If anyone would know then, it would be Spider-Man.

He follows Peter at a distance relying on his enhanced abilities and senses to keep track of him and not web-swinging as that would be pretty eye-catching. He doesn't want Peter to know about his existence. He knows precisely how Peter operates and moves, having once been him, so it is easy to predict his movements and devise paths to stay out of his eye line. Spider-sense only picks up on danger. He wishes Peter no trouble, so he should be safe on that front.

Still, he is so used to web-swinging that he finds it challenging to keep up with Peter (how does Daredevil do it?). Still, eventually, he figures out his own way, which generally just relies on having the high ground and then using his high intelligence to quickly map out his surroundings in the few seconds he is up there and then retaining that information and using it as he tailed Peter making sure to keep as high as possible to continue mapping possible routes and passages.

Eventually, the buildings get smaller and smaller, making it more difficult to track Peter undetected. Finally, they have to cross a bridge with Peter swinging across the top of it and him below running along underneath the bridge to remain hidden. They are both in Queens now, and there are smaller buildings and trees here, which means Peter has to slow down, which means he has to take more care in remaining undetected, which he does by running along buildings and roofs facing away from Peter.

Finally, they arrive at a gated area which he knows to be a cemetery, on account of knowing a few of the people laid to rest inside. He has to awkwardly hide and wait in a tree as Peter ducks behind some bushes in the cemetery and changes back into his civvies. Once Peter finishes changing, he resumes on to his destination at a more leisurely pace. It takes little time to figure out where he is headed.

He is proven right when Peter approaches a woman kneeling down and placing flowers in front of a gravestone which holds the name of Gwen Stacy. But, of course, it is a surprise to see that the woman in front of the grave is also Gwen Stacy.

Peter stands next to her in silence, and she notices him. Still, neither start a conversation, with her continuing to sort out the flowers in front of the grave and Peter starting to stare listlessly at the grave, lost in memories, the presence of Gwen's clone means that the situation is most likely dealt with and considering The Jackal's obsession with her I doubt he would let her go so quickly which means that The Jackal is no longer my problem and if he somehow did survive then it will be Peter's job to stop him, after all, he is no longer Spider-Man even if he is wearing the suit at the moment.

So he watches as they continue to mourn in silence and how he wishes to be there instead of him and feel what he feels. Still, the simple fact of the matter is that he no longer feels as much as the man down there does. Even as he stares at Gwen's clone, all he feels is slight sadness and attraction, which is no doubt the very muted feelings of Peter Parker and the one down there feels this a thousand more times than him. He doesn't have time to think about it anymore as Gwen's clone acknowledges Peter.

"I have to think of her... As someone else, Peter. Someone I knew a long time ago when we were both... very young. Was she the real Gwen Stacy... Or am I? Now I know how Spider-Man felt last night..."

She finally finishes fiddling with the flowers in front of the grave, stands to her feet, and turns to Peter. He, in turn, reaches his arm out to grasp her shoulder in a show of comfort.

"Confused... Frightened. Everyone has that moment when they wonder about themselves, Peter. About who they are deep inside. I think- I think it would be better for both of us if we didn't pretend to be the same people we were when Peter Parker loved Gwen Stacy... And she loved him. I wish I could know you the way she knew you, Peter, but I can't. Because I can't... This is goodbye."

She takes him by surprise and kisses his cheek while caressing the other. Peter tries to turn to her, desperate to say something, but Gwen pushes his face away before he can.

"Don't say it, Peter. Turn your head... And please, don't look back."

Saying so, she turns around and picks up her luggage before walking to the cemetery road, where a taxi waits for her. She gets inside it, and the cab moves along the road and out of the cemetery. Peter stays still, looks down forlornly at Gwen Stacy's grave, and sheds a tear. Meanwhile, he watches from a tree, unsure of what he feels.

Suddenly, multiple police sirens can be heard in the distance, and Peter quickly wipes his tear away and checks his surroundings before running off into the woods in that direction pulling his shirt apart and revealing the iconic suit beneath. He too feels the urge to run off chasing the sirens, but he fights it off because this is no longer his rodeo. After all, Gwen was right. Of course, they shouldn't pretend to be the people they used to be, but if he is no longer Peter Parker, then who is he?

He decides to go to the place that Peter used to frequent whenever he had a problem or issue he didn't know how to handle, and so he leaps from tree to tree, heading towards this special place. When he arrives, he makes sure no one is around before jumping down and walking towards it. He stands there feeling all sorts of emotions as he stares down at the grave of his Uncle Ben.

He can remember all the time before he came here and felt great comfort and peace but also contradictorily felt mass amounts of guilt and regret. Yet, standing there now as the person he now was, he no longer felt such a massive amount of guilt though he did still feel regret.

With the perspective of two lives, he now understands that bad things happen to everyone, and it is not your fault when things go wrong. Even if he could have prevented it, there was no way to tell the future, and so while he regrets not stopping the thief when he could, he also understands that what happened was not his fault.

Still, just because he no longer feels such amounts of guilt doesn't mean he is going to stop being the man that his Uncle wanted him to be. He will continue to live by his Uncle's words, 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility', and after the merging of his two minds, he had even greater power.

He will never forget the two people who cared for him and treated him as their own. He will never forget Ben and May Parker because even if he was leaving, they remain his parents, parents he didn't have in his other life, and he will honour them, Ben Parker and May Parker, formerly Reilly.

"Thank you for everything..."

And so left the man having formed the first part of his new identity, his name... Ben Reilly.