Chapter 3: Fwäkì ke Fwefwi

He looked at her through the foliage of her mind, the edges were dull and a haze possessed what clarity was known to her, and through that darkness eyes stared back at her. Wide, green eyes, slanted upward- as were the rest of his features. Angular and daring in all the ways a predator would be, she felt her heart shudder for it was not a predator's gaze that looked towards her- but a friend's. The look of a friend betrayed and forsaken into the hollow parts of the world, where the firefly lights and moon beams could not reach, a darkness settled- then a hiss and a sneer and a warmth was snatched from her as bullets pounded through the air once again.

Diana awoke with a gasp; sweat clung to her body the way she clung to her chest with a tattooed hand, desperate and scavenging, searching for a lost thing that had run away. She was used to dreams- she had had to get used to the dreams; though like a guest that had overstayed its welcome she lingered at the door of her mind, waiting, praying that this pain- this haunting would leave with a smile and never return to her again. But still it sat, still it festered and waited for her to leave the archway of the front door, still it waited for her to close that door and let it make home in her.

It was the first time in months Diana had dreamt of those betrayed eyes that stared down at her, the first time in months she found it hard to swallow for the lump in her throat had grown too heavy and thick to push down. And when it finally fell from her throat to her stomach she wished it had just stayed there, because that descent reminded her of the emptiness that had made home in her bones- the very marrow of it seeming to leak out from her, as if the essence of herself was betraying her. She knew, deep down she knew, that she wasn't responsible for what had happened at that school, she knew also that she could not have done anything else-except make things worse-by going back to them after the shooting like Grace had tried to do.

But a regret festered in her heart as was the oh so inherent nature of humans, and it was in those many moments of regret when she held herself up in her room for days, neither speaking or hearing of another human or creature, that the festering of that regret thrived. It was the third week since Jake had reintroduced humans, in Na'vi form, to Hometree once again, and the first month of his three month expiration date. Diana wondered if that countdown ran through his mind at all as he leaped and bounded from the long roots of Hometree or rode on the back of the pa'li in the fields. She wondered what went through his mind at all because, she hoped, he could give her some clarity as well.

"It's been four days," A knock sounded on the door to her room, and Diana turned her head from the scrunched up blankets she had buried it in to see Grace standing in the archway, "It's two in the afternoon," the older woman reminded her gently, "Are you joining us today?"

Diana shut her eyes as she looked from the woman and buried her face into the blankets again, her head already being filled with the list of things she had to do due to putting it off for the past four days.

"I should," She told Grace as she slowly sat up, keeping the thinner side of the blanket on top of her head to block out the blaring sight of the sun that cascaded through the open windows.

"It would help if you did something," Grace agreed, "But not if you don't feel up to it."

"No, no," Diana gave a deep, meaningful sigh as she put one heavy leg out of the bed after another, and then reached her hand out to Grace for help as she shut her eyes tightly and tried to combat the dizziness that was beginning to grow in her mind. In hindsight, shutting herself off from the only three people available to her for miles probably wasn't the best idea she'd ever had. But she'd rather endure the hours of silence, in company with the machine hums, than face the headstrong irritability that would rear its ugly head when she would do, well, anything.

"What's Jake been up to?" Diana heard herself ask as she settled at their small kitchen table and Grace warmed her up one of the refrigerated meals they had brought with them. Grace handed her a package wrapped in various layers of plastic and wrapping paper, the front and back both unlabelled with only a singular word on the side, QUINN.

"Linked in already," Grace answered her question as she put both the package and meal down in front of her, but smacked her hands away when Diana first reached for the package, "Take a bite first. And drink this," She placed a strong smelling liquid in front of Diana, to which the younger girl scrunched up her nose and stared in disgust. Grace only stared back, challenging the younger woman not to drink the protein shake.

"Damn woman," Diana relented as she took a large gulp, "Looks deadly enough to make a palulukan run." She muttered as she pushed the package to Grace, telling her to open it as she continued to eat her premade meal.

"It's a note from Quaritch and… oh shit," Grace threw out the contents of the table, spilling it in front of Diana to see. When she turned her head and rifled through the pictures she saw it was more of the same pictures she had seen earlier that week, writings and drawings of the same colour and texture she had seen from the two previous mining dumps, bolder and clearer than before. This time, however, in brilliant white sketched across one of the large walls of a basecamp, was her name.

Diana began choking on her food as she saw her name written, in perfect English, across the human settlement. She looked to Grace who was looking back at her with equal mortification, and then grabbed the note Quaritch had sent with it. There, scribbled in untidy handwriting in large bold letters were the words; fix this, or I will. Clear, concise and with no room for argument. Shit.

"Shit," Grace voiced Diana's own thoughts again, "Well that's direct. If you didn't think they were trying to get your attention before, we know it for sure now." Grace massaged her left temple as she took a drag from her cigarette.

"You've got to get a handle on this, kid," Grace suggested, "If it weren't for you Quaritch might have already taken some of his damn ships and guns to the Tawkami Hometree already."

"He won't attack Tawkami, as selfish and egocentric as Selfridge is he won't do more unnecessary damage, it's the Omaticaya Hometree they want," Diana rubbed the sides of her head, "But that's not enough to stop him from attacking any of the clan members outside of Hometree and by the looks of it they've reached well outside of their territory already."

"So what's the plan?" Grace asked as she took another drag of her cigarette. Diana eyed the object between her friend's fingers, having noticed their presence a lot more in the past few days than she had previously. The stress of integrating Jake into the Omaticaya clan and culture, on top of keeping Selfridge and Quaritch pleased wasn't an easy task to do, she didn't envy the doctor for her responsibilities as head of this programme; but she wasn't going to let her shoulder the burdens alone either.

Diana patted Grace's shoulder as she finished her food and told Norm to link her into her pod. It had been a week since her confrontation with Tsu'tey and her reintegration to the clan; it was finally time to get some real work done.

"And what are these?" Diana asked as she pointed to her ears resting higher on her head than where they rested on the human body. She looked between the concentrated faces of the young Na'vi children, each of them standing at 6ft tall and above at less than a decade and a half old. Diana hummed as she asked her question again, repeating the words slower so the children, who had not been practicing English for some time, could fully understand what it was she asking.

"A ear!" One of the children shouted loudly, proudly declaring their answer.

Diana laughed as she clapped her hands in celebration, praising the little girl for her correct answer, "Very good, very good Syanan!" Diana let out a breath as the girl giggled and ran into her, celebrating her victory over the dreaded English language as she whooped to her friends who, in turn, shouted back. "But," Diana continued, which made the girl pause and stare down at her with the rest of the children, "It sounds funny, doesn't it? Something is missing?" She hinted to the children and watched as they began thinking again.

Akwey, Syanan's younger brother, raised his hand as he hollered for her attention, "I think your brother wants to help you, Syanan," Diana goaded the girl gently as she helped her climb off her lap and rest again onto the ground with the other children, and then called on Akwey to answer.

"An!" He said proudly, puffing his chest as he gave the proper form of the words, "An ear!"

Diana found herself smiling brightly down at the boy, proud at how quickly he was catching on despite not having been allowed to attend the school like the other children. When Grace and Diana had opened the school a long ways away from Hometree, she remembers Syanan speaking of her youngest brother, and his passion of learning new and strange things, however he was never allowed to leave the safety of Hometree and was forbade by his parents. Diana found herself frowning at the memory, and remembered the cautious nature from many of the parents of the clan as they worried for the safety of their children due to arrival of humans. As she looked between their expectant faces, she wishes she could quell the worry of the older Na'vi, but that was not something she could promise.

"Is it… wrong?" Akwey's question broke her from the depressive thought process she had somehow managed to spiral herself into and quickly shook her head as she told the boy he was correct and congratulated him as well. He responded to her with a large, gap-toothed smile. The young Na'vi boy hadn't even grown into his canines yet, and Diana's heart fluttered as he smiled up at her with those large eyes the Na'vi possessed and then began explaining the rule of definite and indefinite articles. Her attention was caught not a moment after she had finished by Jake, as he hollered for her while being pestered by another group of rowdy, older children. Diana nearly gasped as one of them pulled on his tail and nearly made him trip on himself, she tried to hide her laugh behind her hand as she stared at him, but he had already seen it.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want you blue woman- these buggers haven't left me alone since Neytiri went off somewhere and I can't shake them!" He turned to her as he bent his head and his ears lowered, pleading with her, "I beg of you Diana, make them go away." She pushed Jake away from her by his face, telling him to not get so close with that stupid look on.

"They're just curious about you." She told him as she waved in greeting to Grace's half of the class, wondering where the other woman was and why she wasn't taking better care of her kids. A small part of her wondered if she had intentionally stuck the children on Jake in revenge for him eating her food the previous night.

"About what?" Jake asked exasperated, "I'm about as blue as them aren't I?"

Diana gasped as she hit Jake on the head, shocked at his somewhat rude remark, "They're curious about you, you idiot, because you're wearing the same clothes as them." She motioned to the singular loin cloth he was wearing, then to them as they wore the same. At the tilt of Jake's head in confusion, she rolled her eyes and explained, "In Na'vi culture clothes are less about coverage and more about status. The higher ranking you are the more clothes and accessories you adorn, your clothes tell your story, so-"

"So they're following me because I'm a grown ass man dressed like a baby." Jake finished as his shoulders slumped.

"Ass man!" Diana and Jake both gave each other wide-eyed stares as they looked from each other to Akwey, who had been listening in on their conversation unlike the rest of the children and smiled his broken smile at them.

"Akwey, don't say ass!" Diana reprimanded him on the improper use of the curse word, gently telling him it wasn't a word children should use. When he gave her a nonchalant shrug and rolled his eyes, much like the way she did with Jake, he left a gaping mouthed Diana and a laughing Jake alone as he went and played with the other kids.

"Takes after you, that one." Jake snidely told Diana as he pushed her lower jaw up to help her close her mouth. She surreptitiously gave him the middle finger. Diana glared at his smirking face before both of their attention was caught by the thundering of hooves, and when they turned their head to the side they took note of Neytiri riding up to them on her pa'li, another one in hand attached to a leash. All of a sudden Diana burst into a snicker as she greeted Neytiri, then clapped Jake on the back hard once before muttering to him as she stared at the rider-less pa'li.

"And that one's for you," She laughed as he sneered at her with his fangs on display, and saluted him when Neytiri yelled at him to follow her. Making tsaheylu for the first time on the back of a pa'li was something she didn't need to re-experiencing; wincing as she remembered the bruises she had gotten after multiple falls from the large horse-like creature. Tsu'tey hadn't had the slightest sympathies for her as he had barked at her to continuously get back on and stop acting like a child. She found herself smiling fondly at the memory despite the pain that it had brought at the time and, as though he appears whenever thought about, made eye contact with the male in question as he looked up from his companion.

Diana tilted her head as she watched Tsu'tey speak with Mo'at at the base of the tree and began slowly walking up to the two high ranking clan members. But Tsu'tey, who was watching her as he continued to speak with Mo'at, noticed her coming and bowed his head to the Tsahik before dismissing himself just as the woman arrived. Her shoulders slumped when he didn't so much as regard her approach and left the two of them alone.

"Oel ngati kameie, Tsahik," Diana greeted the older woman with a slight bow of her head and the touch to her forehead. When she raised her gaze again, Diana noticed the woman stared at the place Tsu'tey had been and followed his trail as he left, then downward toward the woman who greeted her with a soft smile.

"He is not yet forgiven you," The Tsahik spoke, stating the fact Diana was all too well aware of, "But he will, it has been foretold." The spiritual leader rested her hand on Diana's shoulder, gently trying to reassure the woman as she guided her towards the stairs hollowed out from the tree's base.

"I don't suppose it's been foretold when exactly that will be?" Diana tried cheekily, trying to gouge a response from the woman that was lighter hearted before she tried to brave the questions that have been hanging over her since that morning. The woman only smiled and patted her on the shoulder, never giving her a reply as they walked around Hometree until they reached the very top of the large, ancient tree, giving them both a wide view of the area around them. From here Diana could see the pa'li grazing in the fields, the warriors training near the dummies as they practiced their archery and close combat skills but most of all, she saw Pandora as it stretched before her wide and clear.

She heard the ikran whistle and screech below them as they played and wrestled amongst each other. The older ones sat higher in the trees where the two women were now standing, not wanting to bother themselves with the worries of the youth and Diana watched as Mo'at walked closer to the thinning of the large branch they stood on and inspected one of the branches of the tree.

Diana lifted her head and stared up at the sky, the purple lightened sky that seemed to stare back at her, and watched as the brilliant and iridescent hues of Pandora's planet stared back at her and despite her 10ft height within the Na'vi body, she felt utterly eclipsed in the shadow of the planet, and she wondered if there were any scholars among the Na'vi people who studied the planets and stars. She wondered if they knew about her own earth, and the moon that had belonged to her once, and the stars and constellations she would wish upon.

"You wish to ask me something child," Mo'at spoke to her, "But you doubt if you should bring this to my knowledge." Diana would have been astounded at the woman's intuition, but she knew it was not intuition that guided her words but whispers. The whispers all Tsahik of each clan hear, spoken to them by Eywa herself as she commands the flow of the forests and streams and the very air that surrounded them.

"I…" Diana didn't know where to start or how to start or whether she should begin at all, so she spoke from the end, "Why is it that the will of life is etched in stone and not oceans?"

She watched as the Tsahik's lips lifted slightly, never regarding Diana directly but focusing intently on the leaves of the tree and the way it was caressed by the wind. Diana continued, "Why is it that… that despite the most honest intentions the," Diana grit her teeth, "will of life deems them not enough? Why does it have to be as hard and cold as stone and not as accepting as the seas?"

"Are the seas so accepting?" Mo'at asked in reply, "Do the depths not frighten you, girl?"

"I am not frightened by what I do not understand."

"Then perhaps it is more of the world that you should try to understand."

Diana shook her head against the woman's words, "It is the world that is not trying to understand me." She shut her eyes against the words she spoke, berating her own words for how childish they sound coming from a grown woman's mouth.

"There is no understanding," Mo'at walked towards her, placing her hand on the woman's chest, "Here," and then to her mind, "and here."

Diana tilted her head to the woman, a pained glance in her eyes as she understood what Mo'at was telling her- but she could not reach the Tsahik in a way that mattered, she could not know what it was like to understand the world the way the Na'vi do. Not in her human body, and not in the body that was created in a lab, "Tsahik," She whimpered as she gripped the woman's hand on her head, "Fwäkì ke fwefwi." A truth that was not hers to keep in her heart, although pained to admit, although ashamed to claim to her, she spoke the words in the tongue that was not hers, to the member of a people she would betray, "I am not strong enough."

"Tsu'tey has taught you well," the woman nodded as she approved of Diana's words.

"Words that do not desire to be hollow are never easy to articulate," Diana whispered in her own tongue, "But it is words that escape me when," She sighed as she remembered the reunion of her and her former teacher, then of the way she had frozen upon meeting Neytiri again. Despite her degree, despite all those long years of studying and learning and honing her speech and linguistic talents, words had escaped her.

"Perhaps it would aid your heart to reclaim a gift that was promised," The Tsahik offered Diana once again, and the younger woman shot her eyes up from the downcast position they had settled in, not believing the words of the woman before her.

"I could not," She whispered, "He would not accept me again. I… I am no warrior, Tsahik."

"We will all be tested before the end, child," Mo'at took her hands from Diana's as she began to walk away, "Your destiny has already begun."

"Your destiny has already begun?" Grace asked as she slammed the fridge door closed, putting the milk on the table in front of Jake and sitting across Diana. The woman being addressed shrugged as she took another spoonful of cereal into her mouth and grabbed the sugar from Jake before he could take a spoonful himself.

He held his hands up to her, as if asking what the hell her problem was, but only watched in disgust as she dished three tablespoons into her meal without a word, then addressed Grace again, "Those were the exact words, Grace. And I have no idea what the hell they mean."

"Maybe it means you're destined for greatness," Jake mocked, "Or type-two diabetes." He jabbed as he stole the sugar back from her and added it to his own meal. It earned him a punch in the arm from Diana, who winced in slight discomfort when all she hit was solid muscle, in which case Jake made a mocking face back to her at her reaction.

"Children, don't fight at the table," Grace reprimanded, "What did she say about the pictures and the Tawkami clan?"

Diana shook her head, "Nothing. The Omaticaya aren't as advanced as the Tawkami when it comes to linguistics. In the sense that the latter is literally the only clan we've come to meet so far that have any sort of writing system and the Omaticaya focus on," Diana threw her hands up in the air, "textiles!"

"Textiles?" Jake asked through a mouth of porridge, which Diana made a disgusted face at and Grace rolled her eyes as she explained.

"Decorative pieces, Jake. Some even make musical instruments. The point is the Omaticaya won't be much help in figuring out what exactly the Tawkami want with Diana."

"Okay, so why not just ask them?" Diana scoffed at Jake's question, but shrunk back when Grace gave her a look of warning and raised her hands in defence.

"The Tawkami welcomed us once, the same way Omaticaya did. And then just like that," Diana snapped her fingers in front of her face, "Without warning or prompt they turned violent against us, the RDA-though who could blame them- and started attacking every human-touched thing within sight." Diana sighed as she massaged her temples, "It's a wonder they're even trying to communicate now after all this time."

"Well whatever their reasons where," Grace decided, "They're trying to communicate but also keep us away from their Hometree, for now we'll take what we can get."