1 Chapter 1
"Today is the day! The day that I leave this accursed world with no sanitation or air conditioning. I can't wait to finally be gone from this place." Austin said to himself in front of a mirror.
He stared at his face in the reflection. His sunken eyes for the first time in 10 years had a light shining in them. He pulled his long hair back and tied it Into a ponytail.
He stood naked in the bathroom fully revealing his figure. He was a well built man with dark skin and grey eyes. His teeth were pearl white and he had big ears and absolutely stunning eyebrow.
His well maintained body and well carved eight packs glistened with sweat as he had just taken a hot bath.
He wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom. He could hear the sounds his comrades made downstairs as he walked down the corridor of the cliche inn he was staying at.
He could hear their raucous laughter and shouting.
The mood was supposed to glum as tommorow morning they would set out to fight the most heinous person in the history of this world. The demon lord Malekith and yet it was not. Was it because they knew they could die that they were partying wildly? Or was it because they were trying to hide their fear by partying? Was it a coping mechanism for them? Well it did not matter.
They knew what they were facing so a little ignorance wouldn't hurt would it? Demon king Malekith was said to be the strongest being in existence. His strength was unfathomable. Even from several kilometres away you could sense the aura being released from his castle.
Austin remembered the first time Demon king Malekith had shown up. He just pulled and proceeded to fold everyone, quite literally. 3 of his comrades had died that day and the rest of them had to retreat.
"No point in worrying. I'm stronger than ever before." Austin said as he shook his head removing any annoying thoughts. "And after that I can finally catch up on all the episodes of one piece I have missed out on. I wonder if they found it? I wonder how the marineford arc unfolded after Luffy saved Ace."
Austin smiled as he pushed open the door to the room he was staying. As soon as he took one step in he stopped. Inside it was a woman. She was a beauty with long pink hair. She was wearing only a bra and pants as he had walked into her changing her clothes.
A few seconds of awkwardness passed by. The woman whose entire body turned red having regained her senses materialized a long sword. She rushed at Austin who sighed as if he was used to this behaviour.
Just as her sword was about to plung into him she felt a cold object resting on her forehead. As her eyes followed she saw that Austin was holding a shotgun on her forehead.
"Not today bitch, I have no intention of getting injured when I'm so close to getting a ticket back home."
"Bii...bii... Bitch! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BITCH?"
"YOU BITCH! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE YOU NAKED THEN STOP CHANGING YOUR CLOTHES IN MY ROOM UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE PART OF A HIGH SELLING HENTAI!"
"THAT STILL DOES NOT GIV-"
"IT DOES GIVE ME THE RIGHT TO CALL YOU A BITCH! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM! GOOO!"
"BU-"
"GOOOOOO!"
The woman slowly dematerialized her sword with a wave of her hand and slowly left the room slouching as if she had just been rejected.
Austin closed the door to his room and took of the towel and decided to go to sleep. He would definitely need the sleep.
___
It was early morning, around 10 in the morning when 5 people marched across a desolate garden towards the eerie castle that stood in the middle of nowhere.
They all wore heavy armour and wielded medieval weapons except for one person who was wearing kevlar and was holding an assault rifle.
A short dwarf with a giant hammer, an elf with a giant bow, a human man with a great sword and finally a human woman with a long sword.
"This place gives me the creeps." The dwarf said.
"What did you expect?" The elf asked. "People like the demon lord do not have such a great sense of fashion."
The guy with the great sword cleared his throat and walked up to the front of the the giant wooden door. Even if he was afraid he had to admit this demon lord had a terrible sense of fashion. He had such a huge castle and yet he had a wooden door. He was expecting some kind of golden door plated in diamonds or something. 'Well the economy is terrible so I guess it's natural.' he said to himself.
"Guys focus please, if we fail then this may very well be the end of the entire world." he said. His voice did not suit him at all. He sounded more like a gentleman than a meat head. "Before we go in I need to know you will not be distracted, we shall cover for each other and take down this evil being together and bring peace to the entire world."
"Yeah!" everyone shouted together except for Austin. He merely had a relaxed expression and did not seem to even care. As the meat head riled up everyone their voices became louder and louder until finally their confidence was sky high.
CRASSSHH!
The man with the great sword kicked in the wooden door and entered the castle shouting at the top of his lungs.
PSSSHHHWW!
A beam of dark energy flew from deep inside the castle. It hit the man right in the chest. There was a moment where it felt like everything slowed down. The man's body started swelling before finally....
PPOOOOFFMMM!
A giant amount of blood and organs splattered everywhere. They got on to the walls and everyone except for Austin who had dodged it. In fact he had seen the beam of dark energy and could have stopped it before anyone else realized it but he let it hit him.
The dwarf and the elf could feel the taste of blood on their mouth. The elf let out a scream as she fell to her knees. "Muriel! Muriel! No, no no!" she shouted.
The dwarf simply spat out the blood and brain chunks out of his mouth and simply moved inside the castle as he held up a giant shield in front of him.
"Let's go," he said. "We can't let his death go unanswered." Austin liked this about the dwarf. It was probably the only thing he did. His blatant ignorant optimism. To see a person so ignorant and optimistic always made Austin happy as he would always laugh at them inwardly.
He nodded and walked in behind the dwarf followed by the woman with the long swords. The inside of the castle was different from what Austin had expected.
On both sides stood statues leaving them a path to walk on. There was a sign in front of the stairs that read.
THIS WAY! TEEHEE!
There were arrows pointing up the stairs leading them. As they followed the arrows they looked around at the writings on the wall. They were written in blood. They were simple taunts designed to get on their nerves.
HOW SLOW ARE YOU? HURRY UP!
DON'T WORRY! YOU'LL ONLY DIE!
The walls were covered in simple stupid taunts that no one would fall for... except for the elf.
As she grabbed the sign at the bottom of the stairs a giant slab of metal covered in spikes fell down on her head. It instantly crushed her and turned her into a puddle of blood.
"God dammit, that dumb bitch! Couldn't she just put her pride aside for a minute." Austin shouted inwardly.
The dwarf stood still for a while and Austin could see him holding back tears. He then started moving forward. He and the elf despite fighting each other on many occasions he was her best friend. He confided in her and knew all her secrets and to see her go like this was hard for him.
The portraits started moving as well. The picture of the headless man on a horse who was carrying his head, the woman with two long necks and heads. They all cackled and laughed at them pointing their fingers at them as they taunted them and jeered.
Finally they reached a door. All the arrows were pointed to it and a giant x was on the door. The signs next to the door read.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU MADE IT! IT'S A SHAME THAT YOU LOST 2 OF YOUR FRIENDS!
Austin stood in front of the dwarf and broke down the metal door with a giant kick.
Just like before a beam of dark energy aimed for his head streaked through the air. Austin simply moved his head and watched as the beam of energy moved past him.
"Well that was not nice was it!" Austin said. His British accent going in full drive.
"Forgive me for my rudeness but if I can thin out the herd then that would be good for me would it not? I mean, you did come here to kill me after all, but i can't believe that elf, how could she be so dumb, i was expecting the dwarf to fall for it and not her." a man said. The man sat on a couch. It was a couch made out of comfortable leather. The entire room looked like as if it had been decorated by a divorced white lady.
There were several beautiful carpets on the floor, a giant bed to the side and two couches. There was also a giant table in front of the couches. The walls were covered in a beautiful wheat yellow wallpaper. There was a bookcase filled with books and and entire bar. It was filled with bottles of different types of alchol and there was even a beer tap.
A giant fire roared in the fireplace as it devoured the logs. The man was wearing a simple skin tight black shirt and black cargo pants. He had a devilishly handsome face and a strong jawline. His goatee only added to his handsome ness. Two large horns grew on his forehead right next to his jet black messy hair. A long scaly tail moved around from side to side as the man stood revealing his height. He was extremely tall at first glance but after looking carefully Austin could see he was wearing padded crocs.
"So your here to kill me?" the man asked. He had a voice like a child.
"Well I honestly could not care about killing you, I just want a way back home." Austin replied as he pointed his assault rifle at the man.
"....."
"....."
"....."
"Ok." The man leaped across the table as his eyes glowed red.
___
No there won't be a fight! I'll be skipping over it.
