107 Another Step Into The Dungeon... Among Other Things

I stared at the object inside the chest in mild annoyance.

"Why?" I asked. "What was the point of putting this in a chest?" I said as I picked up the item.

{Extra guarding?} The Gods asked.

"In the middle of a hallway?" I asked back. "That's just asking for it to get stolen."

{That's only if you don't take a single detail into account.} The Gods said.

"Which is?" I asked.

{You're thinking that anybody here had a shred of sanity left in their body by the time this chest was placed.}

You... are actually raising a good point." I said in a defeated tone. "I hate it when you make sense."

{We like to throw away our stupidity from time to time to be able to function correctly, which usually ends with us making sense.} The Gods explained.

"Why do I not believe that?" I said with a sigh.

{Because we were lying.} The Gods said with a deadpan voice.

I sighed once again, stating only a single fact: "I hate your antics."

{We hate them too from time to time, but it's just a part of our character.}

"That's a lie too, right?"

{Completely.}

I sighed once more.

{You sigh way too much, you know?}

"And whose fault is that?" I asked accusingly.

{Yours.} The Gods stated matter-of-factly. {It's because you still think within the laws of physics.}

"Well, It's not my fault that I take refuge in even a small bit of sanity!" I retorted.

{It is, but you refuse to acknowledge that fact.} The Gods said in return.

"You literally give me no way to deny the fact if you say it like that." I complained. "I deny it and prove you right, or I agree and still prove you right."

{We simply want the best for you.} The Gods said.

"I call bullshit." I said flatly.

{And why is that?}

"Because you are still in my head." I stated.

The Gods were silent for a moment before speaking once more.

{Dear us it all makes sense now.} The Gods said in an enlightened voice.

"I don't like that tone." I said hesitantly.

{You are a tsundere!} They declared.

"I AM NOT!" I shouted angrily.

I immediately calmed down with a sigh after my short outburst.

"I'm not helping my case here, am I?" I asked.

{Not in the slightest.}

"dDamn."

{Shouldnt you be getting back to the story?} The Gods asked.

I gave a confused glance at a random direction, as I had a single question in my mind:

'What story?'

{Oh, you know.} The Gods said nonchalantly. {The skeleton filled dungeon.}

I blinked, and my face morphed into one of realization.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that happened."

{It still is.}

"Right." I looked back to the chest and the item inside. "I still haven't grabbed this thing.

{They still have no idea what's in there you know.}

"Who's 'they'?" I asked skeptically.

{Oh, you know.} The Gods said with a hint of humor in their voice. {Them.}

"That clears nothing up." I stated flatly. "So I am just going to forget that question for the rest of time, since I have the feeling that I will be annoyed at the actual answer."

{You most likely will.} The Gods stated jovially. {You tsundere.} They added.

"I despise you with every fiber of my being."

{You know...} The Gods started, mentally gesturing to my entirety. {That's not really a lot.} They finished with a snicker.

"How...?" I started before cutting myself off, deciding that it was better off not knowing how they mentally gestured at me. "Forget it, let's just grab this thing and move on."

And so I grabbed the very distinctly purple key from the chest and continued into the dungeon.

-One hour later (Since somebody decided that the dungeon has gone on for long enough)-

"where the hell am I?" I wondered.

{In the dungeon.} The Gods answered helpfully.

"I should've expected you to give me the least useful answer." I said flatly.

{No sigh this time?} The Gods asked in a questioning tone.

"I already reached my quota for the day, so there's no need for any more." I stated sarcastically.

{You have a sigh quota?}

"Is that a rhetorical question?" I asked.

{When are we not asking rhetorical questions?} They asked back.

"fair enough."

There was no sound for the next few minutes besides the sound of footsteps on stone.

And then the Gods spoke.

{Do you hear that?}

"Hear what?" I said, paying more attention to the ambient sounds.

A minute passes with no sound besides my footsteps.

"Okay yeah, I see what you mean now." I stated.

{Well we guess that means that you are safe at least.}

"It's good to have some time to myself." I muttered. "Even if it is in an abandoned city filled with undead skeletons."

{And questionably mortal mechanics.} The Gods added.

"And questionably mortal mechanics." I agreed immediately, before doing a double-take at the statement. "Wait, what? What makes them questionably mortal?"

{Think about it like this: Everything here hasn't been touched in what is most likely centuries, and everything here is deader than this story seemed to be for the past five months.}

I understood the first part of what the Gods had been saying, but as they continued to speak I was simply more confused than I was before.

"What story?" I asked.

{Did you think we would not record every moment of your suffering and success?}

I blinked for a moment, thinking about the idea of my adventure being written out.

"I get the feeling that you would not be consistent in the slightest, most likely writing out the first part of the story and giving up after getting bored of writing." I said matter-of-factly.

{first off, you would be partially correct, as we indeed almost gave up on writing the story at this point, simply leaving any viewers eternally unsure of whether or not we shall return.}

"I get the feeling that I'm not getting the full picture here."

{You don't need it.} The Gods succinctly stated. {As we were saying before, we had run out of creative ways to write the experience, and the information was too much to keep up with when balancing other things.}

"Yeah I'm definitely missing context." I muttered to myself, although the comment was ignored by the gods.

{Now we have mostly all the time in the world, as we are stuck here in this room with nothing to do but talk to you.}

"Wonderful." I groused.

{We are of two minds with that then.}

"Can we just get past this apology now? I'm starting to forget what I was doing at this point."

{You were... hmm... Let's see...} I heard the sound of pages being turned before the Gods spoke once more. {Wrong chapter...} The page turning continued. {Ah! Here we are. You were in the process of...} The Gods paused for a moment, which I took as a dramatic pause for extra effect.

{About to walk into a familiar face!} The Gods finished happily.

And I immediately realized my mistake, via a face full of ginger hair.