47 I Don't Understand

No matter how many years pass, Damian will never understand people who let their emotions guide them.

In general, Damian managed to figure out that humans can include the search for meaning and purpose in life, questioning reality and knowledge, reflecting on morality and ethics, as well as exploring concepts like truth, justice, and happiness. It's a process of self-discovery and understanding the world that can guide a person's actions and decisions.

Luke had made the decision to die; it took only a few seconds for him to step forward and save Damian's life at the cost of his own. But he wasn't the only one to die saving Damian; over a hundred mages had died in combat fighting against that demon of killer magic.

The demon armies led by numerous powerful enemies attacked the northern borders; many soldiers died, and it was estimated that the deaths by the end of the year would amount to a hundred thousand. A terrifying number considering it would only be the casualties of one year, so in a few years if things continue like this, children and women would be sent to die.

This is war; there was no compassion in the north, and to some extent, everyone understood that.

...

A week after the deaths of all those powerful mages, many bid farewell to them with a ceremony in which everyone in the city participated.

Most of what was talked about here was a powerful mage who manipulated thunder and lightning and was surrounded by electricity. Soon everyone called him the Thunder Master, a very simple nickname that reflected Damian's magic.

"Thunder represents strength and power; lightning implies speed and brilliance, while electricity suggests dynamic and sparkling energy. Together, they could describe someone with a striking presence, which can be exciting but also intimidating or volatile."

In a quite comfortable room, Damian sat on the bed while looking at his hands full of horrible scars that couldn't be healed due to the great magical damage they had suffered.

Kraft looked at Damian, who had remained silent for at least an hour, and said, "You managed to kill three generals of the Demon King; even that demon you spoke of being special is also estimated to be dead."

"Estimated?" Damian looked up at the priest, wanting to demand more about what was really known.

"Well, we withdrew from the battlefield, so we couldn't accurately see the notable deaths that were done with the demons." Kraft could see the resentment in Damian's eyes; he knew he blamed himself for what happened, and that was normal given the situation.

Knowing this, he walked to the corner of the room where there was a black staff that was curved at the top and straight at the bottom, giving it a quite simple yet unique appearance given its size.

Damian recognized that staff because it was Luke's; he didn't know why Kraft had taken it, but for some reason, he took it when he approached him.

"The demons are looking for you for some reason; if that demon sees the future, as you said, it would be better for you to take a safer path before you return to the battlefield." Kraft placed the staff on Damian's bed.

Upon hearing these words and looking at Kraft and knowing he was lying, he asked, "How strong do I need to become?"

A few minutes later, without waiting for an answer, Damian muttered, "Exactly. I have been training for many years just to not die so easily. I was just the son of murdered mages, a servant who took the step to apprentice mage, and someone who has been seeking strength because he felt fearful knowing that anything could kill him."

"You shouldn't blame yourself." Kraft smiled slightly at Damian, who had taken Luke's staff.

"Many mages have died to save me; do they really believe it would be worth it, or did they die for something futile? I wonder if they regretted it." Damian squeezed the staff in his hands, feeling ashamed for not being able to do more.

But who is he trying to fool? He knows he did a good job, he knows he tried his best, and he is aware that he is a better mage than many of those who died.

"You know what's worse? I feel happy to have survived; only then can I avenge the deaths of all those mages. I will exterminate the demons and kill them all one by one until I reach the Demon King."

Kraft listened to Damian in silence; this was his job after all, so in the end, he said, "You should take a break; you are still too young to understand war. I too have lost loved ones at the hands of demons; I understand your goals, but it's not yet time."

"You don't know my age..." Damian looked at his hands, still seeing that dried blood.

"It doesn't matter if you're a hundred or two hundred years old; you would still be young to me... Take a break, search for what you want to find, and only then, when you think you're ready, return to combat." People like Damian wouldn't leave the battlefield after experiencing war; Kraft knew this, so he didn't waste energy persuading Damian otherwise.

Damian then lay back on his bed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.