chapter 18 WHAT AM I DOING?

Chapter18

Britt

When I came out of the bathroom he was gone. I called Nina she didn't answer. So I left her a text.

"Where the hell are you? Bitch I miss you!"

.

Laid down on my bed staring at the ceiling, replaying what had happened in the past few days, and what happened today.

I sat down and decided to eat with Stella when my phone started to ring. It was from Liam.

"You free wanna grab some dinner?" He said.

"You are the best man I know, I am hungry," I said

"Awwww I'll pick you by 9?" He said

"10. Done!" I said with a smile

"Done, see you in a bit" he said "stop smiling like an idiot" he said before ending the call. And I realized that I was smiling in real.

He knows me well, way too much, I remember the day I met him first, I was at Stella's and he has joined for lunch. At first, I thought he too was someone like me, who needs love and Stella being Stella let him in her life and home just like me. But when I came to know Liam was her grandson I was surprised because she had never mentioned him ever. Though at that time I was practically sharing her apartment.

I use to live with her, I would cook meals and run to her and eat with her, or in my free time I would go to her when I would feel sad I would go to her, when happy I would go to her. She became important to me from the very first day she hugged me. And she never mentioned him. So when I came to know that the boy who joined us for lunch is her grandson, left me in a shock.

Since then Liam became a good friend then best friend. It's like Stella gave me a family I always craved a for.

Thinking all that I picked my phone it was almost 9, so I decided to go check on Stella before getting ready. I slid into my slipper, tighten my bathrobe, and peeked out of my door.

.

Clear, no one's out, run!

But my hard luck, as I stepped out of my door, Taylor came out of Mav's.

"Where are you going?" He said with a smile.

"Jumping off the building wanna join?" I said. And stood straight.

"Here have this first then go and jump," he said as he gave me tea.

"You have poisoned it? No thanks," I said and turned to go to Stella when I saw a note on her door.

"Going out, leave the packages next door"

I blew out a long breath and Taylor came to stand next to me.

"Don't you think people of this floor are overdramatic?" he said and looked at me.

"I think people of this floor should punch you right on the throat, but do you think my opinions matter? No right" I said with a pout. And he laughed under his breath.

I turned to go to my apartment when he held my elbow and dragged me to Mav's.

"Have this coz I have spent money on it, not poisoned I promise" he said and kicked him very hard to which he let my elbow go.

"Don't ever touch me like that" I said and took tea from his hand.

"Come in, join us," he said while acting as if he is in really bad pain "I'll show you something really funny," he said.

"What?" I said while sipping my tea. He came and pushed me from the back "See yourself," he announced. I too went as I wanted to see Mav after saying those words I felt bad. And I wanted to see how it had affected him.

As we entered his apartment. Mav came out in a towel while saying something to Taylor which I didn't hear of course.

I saw his body in light, a towel tied way to lower on his waist, water dripping down his chest and neck, looking like a model, the marks from his injuries had faded, no new marks, but few new tattoos were there, one bird near the left armpit, a sign of play on the left shoulder, something written near his back which I couldn't read properly.

.

Look away said a voice from inside me when our eyes met and he looked horrified. I looked everywhere except him. He rushed in and I choose to go out. I am sure I was all red.

.

Bad idea NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT TAYLOR SAYS. REMEMBER BRITT. shouted my angles in both ears.

.

But they didn't let me go.

"See told ya, you looked at his face right?" He said and looked at me. "Forget his face, look at your face, why are you all red?" He said teasing me.

"You want to die?" I said and moved in like a queen as if this was my apartment and sat down.

"So why are you roaming like a homeless in a bathrobe?" He said

"None of your business," I said without looking at him when Mav came out. With a smile and those damp hair.

.

How embarrassing it would have been if I just get up and move my fingers on those wet hair? A lot right?

So I didn't do anything, just fought with Taylor. And when I was about to leave they tried to stop me.

.

With an authority, Mav looked at me and said to stay. I wanted to. I wanted to stay there even if I had to fight with Taylor all night. But I didn't as I had to go out with Liam.

I needed to say out what I had in my mind. Everything was needed to put into words, Nina was busy, Stella is also not available. Plus it is easy to tell things to Liam as he never judges my decisions, and I am sure he won't shout at me for sharing a bed with Mav. I think.

.

This all was in my head when I git up to leave, they tried to stop and I don't know why? Why i told them that i was going out on a date with Liam.

Well practically it was a dinner, so I said its date. And saw Mav's world turn upside down, lowkey I wanted to laugh at his reaction, but I didn't. Very next moment I saw hurt and anger in his eyes. Same, same as it uses to be there years ago. If it was 3 years ago by this time he would be throwing stuff, or punching walls, or shouting. But he didn't.

.

He just asked me questions, for a moment I wanted to tell him how proud I was as he controlled his anger and for the reaction he gave. For a moment I wanted to forgive him but I didn't. For a moment I wanted to hold her but then the reason why I left him came in front of me. He and his colleague in one bed, that's what comes in a way of forgiveness.

.

.

And then Mav said, what he shouldn't have said

"Then what was it today? Tell me your tears were fake" he said with hurt clear hurt in his eyes and held my hand.

"Sometimes you have to remember your mistakes, as a reminder to avoid them in future," I said and went out.

.

.

I entered my apartment, feeling numb and confused as to why I would lie to him. Without giving it much thought I got ready.

I needed one of my close friends right now. And a thought clicked in my head.

.

.

I wore a short black dress, which shimmers, as every dinner with Liam, always ends up as a club night. Wore heavy makeup, and heels.

.

I checked my phone if it was 10 past 10. So I texted him.

"All good?"

His reply came instantly

"I'll be there in 10, meet me near the parking, can't wait to see you"

"Okay," I replied.

Checked me once again, and left to meet me my Liam.

When I stepped out there stood Taylor, and he whistled as he saw me.

"Looking hot," he said. And winked at me.

"It's not like I asked for it, and I can sue you for verbal harass," I said as I adjusted my heel. When Mav came out of his apartment while folding sleeves of his shirt. In a black button-down shirt, blue jeans which hanged perfectly from his waist. Tattoos peeking out from under his shirt.

I had almost lost my balance, thank heaves I was holding my doorknob for support. He was looking illegal. How after what he had done to me I still feel breathless whenever he is around me.

.

His eye fell on my heel and I stood straight, and slowly his gaze traveled up. From my heels to my eyes and we locked our gaze.

.

"Looking good," he said casually. And walked to the lift.

"He is pissed and wants to kidnap you, I can bet," Taylor said with a dramatic sigh as we watched Mav going to the elevator. I smiled after hearing Taylor's words. He may sound stupid but deep down he is a kid we all love.

We went near the elevator and stood close to each other.

In the elevator, I was standing so close to Mav that I could smell his scent. Same as it uses to be. Manly and decent. The same smell my pillow and bed have right now.

.

"Are you really going out on Date? Are you really seeing someone?" Came out of nowhere from Mav. Like a plead or question or accuse. Just because it was fun seeing him getting jealous, and I want to move on further in life with Mav.

I said "yes!"

He didn't say anything.

.

We reached the ground floor he went out without giving a second look. Taylor didn't say anything until Mav was with us, but as soon he left.

"Just so you know, you are this close to waking up the devil. He is trying his best" he said while making a pinch with his hands. And left. I walked to the parking. And saw Mav and Taylor. Taylor was sitting on the passenger seat and stood near the driving seat talking on the phone.

.

Soon Liam came I hopped in his car.

"My girlfriend said No to my proposal"

"Be my boyfriend"

We both said at the same time. And smiled.

Then his looks changed from smile to confusion.

"I am going to kiss you," I said and leaned forward before he could say anything. And when we parted I knew Mav's eyes were on us.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Liam whisper shouted and tried to control his laugh.

"You see that man in black, he is Mav," I said and he looked forward to seeing him.

The next moment I knew is Liam was holding my hand and pulling me to him. And planted a kiss on my forehead before driving off.

There are no words that can describe Mav's reaction. I felt bad after putting the show. He looked sad and angry. Where is the Mav I knew would break things and beat people to bleed in anger?

Is he really changed, is he really here to ask for an apology, does he really want a second chance.

These questions filled in my head as Liam drove us to the restaurant in silence.

WHAT AM I DOING?