episode 1

ها حيدر

Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Gray to Color

i lover

I WANT TO DIE. I WANT TO DIE. With this in mind, I try to fall asleep. Falling asleep every ni . It's either how I live a new life in another, new world, or whether it's worth living there at all. And as usual in the last few months, I fell asleep under the last.

I open my eyes and understand that a new, boring, gray day has begun again in a boring and gray world. No, of course, everything around is colorful, it's just that lately I've been looking at everything with my soul, which I have like old films or "Black and White" newspapers.

Looking out the window I understand that it's probably around lunchtime. And in my head again the thought "go to mom again." Why? The answer is simple. My father is an alcoholic who only does what he drinks his moonshine who buys from all sorts of% N * "?;%. Speaking of their parents right now, they are over 60 years old, both of them are retired and I was gladdened by the sweat of old age. drunk who drinks his pension. It started about 1 year ago. Before that I loved my father. But now I just ... hate him. Eh ... okay with him now about my mother. She works in an atelier not far from our at home. When my father runs out of money or he wants a beer, he always sent me to my mother, but I refused him. And right now, when he calls his mother, he asks her every time "call his son, let him pass away" And my mother what? Well, I think that she just tired of it. Father asks for money, she gives. Asks for beer, I go to the store. This is my life.

By the way, about me. I'm 18 years old, an ordinary guy. I'm lying ... fat, lonely and unnecessary to anyone. I live in an ordinary apartment, and before that, until I was 9-10 years old, I lived in such an ordinary unpretentious village near the town. I don't even remember how many schools I have been to. Maybe I don't remember 3-4 schools, and it doesn't matter. The important thing is that I had no place anywhere. Everywhere I was a lonely outcast who was not needed by anyone. I didn't have friends on whom I could rely, there were only temporary ones like our place of residence "One School, One House". In general, the life of a village boy among the bustle of the city.

Okay, where did I stop. That's right, my just another shitty day. Okay, I sit down at the computer again and continue reading where I left off. There are only a few things that save me in this world. First of all, these are all sorts of novels, but mostly they are about other worlds. And secondly, it's music. When I listen to it, I'm right in another dimension as if. Because of these things, I forget about my life and about the world in general.

Lately, all I have been thinking about is suicide. I always think maybe tomorrow will be different. It won't, if you want a new life, change yourself. But this is impossible for me. Can finish everything today and business with the end, "One, Two and done", only to do it smartly, but how? Jumping off the roof ... not an option. Pills ... not an option either. Open the veins ... and that, as I said, "One, Two, and it's done." Okay, decided I'm tired already. Maybe there will be peace and quiet on the other side ... well, I'll find out soon anyway.

Then they call me on the phone, I look at the screen "Mom". Well, the sooner I'm free, the more sure. I accept the call.

—Allo- (I)

—Allo- (Mom)

—What again should the "King" buy beer? - (I)

-Yes, come to me .- (Mom)

- Okay, I'll come right now. - (I)

I quickly get ready, put on my headphones and go to my mother. going to her, he took the money and went to a nearby supermarket for a beer. After finishing all the cases in 20-30 minutes I go home. Going home, I quickly change into home clothes and enter the hall. The father lies on the couch and sleeps, and the room only stinks of alcohol and smoke. I leave the beer and go to my room, until the end of the day I am free. lying on the bed I think of only suicide. I don't know what clicked on me, but I made up my mind. Fuhh ... (Exhales) he took a knife from the kitchen, locked himself in the room, and propped the door with a chair. I sit looking somewhere into emptiness. I am sure from the outside it is clear that in my eyes there is neither life nor aspiration. Holding a knife in my hand, I cut the veins on one hand, and then on the other. I don't know where all this comes from in me, but terrible pain has never been such a terrible pain in my life, but I got used to it after a while. I sit with an empty gaze and think only about what will await me after death. I sat there for a long time and then I lost consciousness.

I woke up somewhere ... in the sky? As if frozen in the air above the clouds and looking at the world from a great height. Mdaa .... I decided to look around in the hope of meeting with God or something. But no one is there.

"Hello young man." A voice is heard around me. I look around again but no one is around. Empty.

"Um ... Hello." I say hesitantly.

- Don't worry. I think you want to know where I am and who? -Asks again the voice.

- Well, I think I already know the answer. - I say I think that he probably does not want to deal with me or he does not have a body or even a creature far from a person. And who is the answer is clear, most likely God, the Creator, the Creator.

"And you're most likely right. But still, why did you decide to commit suicide? - (God)

- Can't you just read my thoughts, memories? - (I)

"I can, but I don't do that. Do you want to know why? - (God) -He asks if I want to know why he does not want to just read his mind. Maybe he just wants to chat as a person with a person or as with each other, and not a god with a mortal.

-Of course it's me)

- Well, the answer is very simple. I don't want to get into other people's washes and memories, but just want to learn from ordinary communication .- (God) -He just wants to chat? Hmm .. Hike, my thought was correct.

"Well, I think that life has become gray and boring for me. In the world, if you want to live and not grieve, then you need money, but I don't have that luxury and I probably wouldn't. My life would be boring for the rest of my days. What's the point right now to die or later. Although maybe I would have found the meaning of life in love, but all the girls are just either whores who need money, or simple dummies. It is unlikely that I would have found that one .- (I)

-Hmm ...- (God) -He was silent for a while and most likely thought about his own.

"You have a rather strange outlook on life." God answered me after a short pause.

"Well, I can agree with that. In one book I read that "strange people" are people who are not like most. And I'm probably more weird than normal .- (I)

"Your soul is a little interesting, outside it is covered with a large and dark mist, but in the middle it is gray and dull. Although it could be white and bright. How about I give you a second chance, you can choose whatever you want. Ask do not be shy .- (God)

- You give me a second chance and offer wishes- (I) -Wow, I could not describe in words how glad I am. After all, I have always dreamed of that life outside the boring and gray Mirk. It's as if you were living in a one-room apartment dreaming of a whole mansion.

—Yes .- (God)

-Can you think a little? -I ask with the hope of consent.

-Yes of course. You don't have to worry about time - (god)

I sat for a long time and pondered what to ask and where to go. I've always dreamed of having a family where you don't give a damn, so I'll definitely ask about rebirth. And I definitely will not ask to be reborn in a world like Naruto or DxD, in general I want an ordinary Magic World that is unlike others. and wishes for strength, then I would like the strength of the Main Hero from "Leveling Up Alone". I'm still going to be alone, and this power suits me very much. Only without the system itself, because all the same it will disappear like that of the Main Hero. You can also ask, for example, the magic of "Creation" or "Creation". To create things from nothing well, or from mana, energy, this power would be quite convenient. I would also like the magic of moving around the Magic Worlds. You can also ask for a system but only with the "Shop" function where I could buy Shadows or skills that are combined with darkness. Well, I also think the usual talent for magic will not hurt.

—I think that I decided— (I) —And I tell him everything I wished for.

- Do you want to be reborn in the Magic World? If you still have wishes for this? - (God)

-Hmm .... Well, I would like to be born into an ordinary family of commoners and that in this world, for example, at the age of 15, something like a Spirit awakens. And so that my Spirit would have the power of the "Lord of the Shadows" while others had, for example: "Swordsman", "Archer", "Healer" and others like that. To make the spirit or something unique there. And also I want to awaken my memories at 13 years old as well as my strength. - (I)

-Yes, I can arrange it for you .- (God)

"Umm ... But can I find out what your name is before you send me. -I ask with the hope that he will answer me.

-Yes you can. My name is Daat .- (God)

—Thank you .- (I) —And I lose consciousness, and in my head there are only thoughts about the future and new life in a completely new world, unlike the old one

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