Florida Man Steals 100 Years of Lifespan From His Grandson Using Free Pizzas as Baits

Chapter 32 - Florida Man Steals 100 Years of Lifespan From His Grandson Using Free Pizzas as Baits

After spending a significant amount of time renovating the bathroom, Felix decided to stop working on the flooring. Cement floors last longer than wooden planks as they are immune to termites and pests. Felix planned to apply some additives to increase water resistance later, despite the cement being advertised as waterproof. 

Leaving the living cement floor alone, Felix returned to the backyard. Repeating his process in the bathroom, he installed more pipes, creating pathways for a household water tank, faucets, a dishwashing sink, a modern toilet, and other utilities.

By noon, the waterworks and backyard deck were half-finished. An electric water pump, a water tank, and a power generator had been installed. However, the water tank was empty. 

Felix opened the shopping menu and purchased 1,000 liters of drinkable tap water, costing him one year of lifespan. The water entered his inventory as a mass without a container. Felix bitterly laughed and transferred the purchased tap water into the tank, filling it to the brim.

Felix then tested the equipment, adding newly purchased fuel to the generator and letting it run. The water pump pushed the water flow into the house, and Felix rushed to the bathroom to open the sink's faucet. 

*ZAAA*

It worked. Finally, the house had running water. The wastewater also flowed neatly into the drainage system, entering the septic tank under the paved backyard. 

Proud of his work, Felix smiled and puffed out his chest, finally feeling like an adult. Exhausted from hours of labor, he decided to take a bath.

.

.

At noon, Jane woke up and confusingly looked around. 

'Oh, right. I was no longer in the mansion.'

Jane remembered that she had become a wife. Noticing that everything in the room was clean except for the dirty bedsheets, she patted her belly and squeezed her thighs, recalling the previous night's tingling sensation. 

*GROWL*

Jane's stomach growled, demanding food as she hadn't eaten anything last night except for a man's milk. She sighed and got out of bed, thinking about Lady Valley and wondering if she was fine with the other maids. 

Jane removed the bedsheets, carrying them downstairs to wash in the bathroom. However, upon arrival, she remembered that there was no drainage system like in the mansion. They had to procure water from the public water source as no one had prepared it for them.

She smacked her forehead and dropped the clothes. Planning to fetch some water, she searched for a large bucket in the bathroom. 

*ZAAA*

While Jane was lost in thought, the sound of running water came from the bathroom. She smiled, thinking Felix had already fetched water from the city's well or the river. 

'Darling, you're such a hardworking husband. Are you taking an afternoon bath?'

Jane barged into the bathroom, hoping to join Felix in the bathtub. But the unusual changes in the bathroom shocked her. 

Instead of a wooden floor and a large bathtub, she found Felix under a square white plate pouring water from small holes. Felix was covered in fragrant white foam, washing his hair.

"Felix?" Jane called out.

Felix didn't look back. "Yeah? What's up?"

"What are you doing?"

"Taking a shower…"

"…Shower? What's that?"

The concept of showering was foreign to the people of this world, who only washed their bodies by dipping in a bathtub or a river. Felix paused, realizing Jane wasn't from Earth, and explained in a way that she could understand.

"These are magic tools that produce water. It's more convenient and time-saving than fetching water from a well or river. Also, the water is drinkable."

"WHAT?!"

Being already naked, Jane moved into the shower with Felix, drinking the water from the rain shower. 

Felix laughed and pulled a handheld showerhead. He flipped the handle to switch the water from the rain shower to the handheld one, splashing warm water on Jane's face. 

Pleasantly surprised, Jane squealed and laughed. Felix then introduced her to the electric water heater, modern toilet bowl, handheld bidet sprayer, and face-washing sink.

Learning everything, Jane almost cried with happiness. She kissed Felix and enjoyed an afternoon bath together.

.

.

After a romantic bathing session and a full-course lunch, Felix dropped off some house-cleaning tools and allowed Jane to help with chores. Jane had fun with the battery-powered vacuum machine, running around the attic. In secret, she shed a tear of regret, wishing she had one at the mansion in the past. 

Meanwhile, Felix continued working on the rooftop, attempting to install solar panels. He needed a steady electricity supply to run his store and other appliances, such as refrigerators, a laundry machine, air conditioners, and lighting.

Soldiers patrolled the streets and rooftops following the assassination attempt. When Felix climbed out of the attic window and summoned long steel bars, the guards noticed him. The appearance of steel bars on the rooftop attracted the passing crowd below. Some criticized him for ruining the beautiful roof, while guards watched from a distance.

As a novice handyman, Felix took his time measuring the rooftop and aligning the structure to avoid destroying the wooden foundation. Unfortunately, the house's structure was too fragile. As soon as Felix started drilling the roof to attach the solar panel foundation, a portion of the rooftop collapsed, sending clay tiles down to the street. 

People on the street screamed and kept their distance. Some cursed Felix for his lousy renovation work while carpenters and craftsmen came out to watch the commotion. Mason experts shook their heads.

"The new landlord is either dumb or overconfident. He should have consulted us first. Who gave him the idea to put heavy stuff on the roof?"

Another carpenter nodded. "That house is roughly 15 years old. The pillars are already old. If he messes up again, the entire thing might collapse."

A soldier chimed in. "Even a novice like me can tell he's going to destroy that house. What is he doing?"

Meanwhile, Felix sighed, looking at the large hole he made in the roof.

"I fucked up. Jane is going to scold me."

Jessica consoled him, <You did your best. Renovating a house isn't easy. Handyman careers exist for reason.>

"Yeah, I know. But I doubt I can hire a run-of-the-mill handyman in this world."

<You can hire some from the shopping system.>

Felix's expression darkened, "Is there anything that the system shop can't do?!"

Jessica didn't answer. Instead, a rare faint smile appeared on her face as she opened a system shop window for him.

Felix checked the system shop and noticed a home service option on the top right. Pressing the tab, a new filter form appeared, providing options and choices of services. 

Scrolling through the options, Felix found what he wanted. He ticked several choices: House Renovation, electrical installation service, and solar cell installation service.

*DING*

Instantly, the shopping window changed, showing an online service center chat menu. Someone from the system shop sent him a message.

[Welcome to Floridian Singularity Home Service Center! My name is Yao Qiqi. I'll be your helper today! Are you attempting to renovate and modernize your house?]

Felix replied, "Yes."

His words automatically translated into text in the chat. The staff quickly replied.

[We have two running promotions right now. For one million years of lifespan, we can transform your residence into a pocket dimension with 36 billion acres of fertile land. Or, for a cheaper service, we can renovate your house and install a non-Euclidean geometry array for only 100 years of lifespan for a house smaller than one acre! This offer is valid until the end of the week. Which one would you like?]

Several big words flew over Felix's head as he didn't understand what the operator was saying. He only paid attention to the price and picked the cheaper option.

"I'd like to hear more about the 100 years of lifespan one. What will I get from that?"

[I'm glad you asked! We'll rebuild your entire house from the ground up and make it suitable for your taste. We have a thousand preview models for you to choose from. If you're a designer, you can even draft your own renovation plan! Once you decide, we will order pizzas from 10 random companies and send our renovators to your planet to transform your house. The entire makeover process is guaranteed to finish within 15 minutes. If any pizza delivery service arrives before we finish, we will refund the payment and renovate your house for free! Oh, and the pizzas are on the house!]

Felix pressed X to doubt. It sounded fishy and exaggerated. 

However, nobody hates free pizza. Felix accepted the free food offer.

"I'll take it. Show me the plans and preview models!"

[You've made a great choice, sir!]