Negotiation

Tony put his hands inside his trouser pockets. His hands were shaking. They weren't shaking when he confronted his "father" but when Henry told him that Marcella knows everything, he couldn't shake off this dreaded feeling.

He was told that she was in the garden. When he saw her lying under the maple tree, he couldn't help but smile. She loved that place. There were a lot of times he had hidden and watched her sitting under the tree. Most times she would be with the don and he had to be extra careful but at times she'd be alone.

She'd be watching the sky and he'd be watching her without caring for the passage of time.

She noticed him and stood up. Her eyes… she had never looked at him like the way she was looking at him. Ever. She looked distant.

That damned Randy!!! Why must he ruin my peace?

Knots formed in his stomach. Randy was not the one at fault here. He was.

He wanted to give her a heads-up in the morning about who the Romanos are. But when he saw her feeling stressed, he didn't have the heart. He knew she would feel betrayed. He was ashamed to tell her that "that" woman was his mother. How could he tell her that the woman who makes her cry every single time was his mother?

He didn't have the heart and he took the coward's way to stay silent. He regretted everything now. He should have found time to tell her the truth.

He tried to smile to see her reaction, but he couldn't even smile properly. He was not someone who smiles at everyone. He had the opinion that only nincompoops smile a lot. Smiling makes others believe that they are weak and easy to manipulate.

But when it comes to her his entire personality changes. Smiling at her was always easy for him. Because her face would light up seeing him. Seeing her bright smile, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

He smiles from his heart each time he sees her. Even the little movement of her lips and the flutter of her eyelashes would bring him so much joy he couldn't help but smile like an imbecile.

He's like the moon that reflects the sun. Without her light, he couldn't reflect the light. He turned into a black hole, a lifeless blob; he turned empty.

He shouldn't be dependent on a single person this much. But it is she, it is Marcella. She is his lifeline. How could he not?

He sucked in a deep breath and fisted his hands inside his pockets to control the tremble. No matter what, he was not going to let her go. He will save their marriage at any cost. He cannot live without her; not any longer.

Marcella built up a professional smile on her face. The calmness around her seeped into her after the bout of nervousness she felt seeing him.

She will treat this as a job interview. It's the only way she could cope.

"Hi," she waved.

"Hello," Tony walked closer and stood in front of her.

She wetted her lips and fixed the non-existent stray hairs on her face.

"So…your father…" She smacked her and shook her head. She need not address that. "Forget that," she smiled. "Have you changed your mind about the marriage?" she asked.

She wanted to see if he wanted to back off.

"The marriage?" Tony asked. It's "our" marriage, not "the" marriage.

"Yes, your father asked you not to~"

"I'm not listening to that man," Tony said. He scratched the back of his head. "I heard Randy talked to you…" he let out a deep breath observing her.

Marcella made sure her expression didn't change. "Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that. I want to tell you that it's fine," she shrugged. "You had an ulterior motive just like I did. Can't put the blame on you about that…" she bowed her head.

But she will blame him for keeping her locked. She would have taken the place of her sister gladly. For his selfishness, she lost her sister. If he was honest with her, she would have given him whatever he needed from the Codex before saving her sister. She would have. She cared for him that much.

But he had to be selfish and let her sister die in agony. She can never forgive him for that.

Tony saw the gloom on her face. He couldn't see her eyes but her hands were tightly clutching her skirt. The veins on her forehead popped out. He didn't know if she was crying or was angry. "Have you changed your mind about our marriage?" he asked.

He was willing to plead with her had she changed her mind. He would kneel and beg if that could change her mind. He could bring down an incumbent congressman with his plans, but when thinking of plans to get her, he could only think of begging her. All his intelligence and presence of mind vanished. After all, he felt like a husk without her warm gaze.

"No," Marcella said.

Tony sighed in relief. He almost kneeled on the ground and shouted at the sky to thank the guy up there. But…

"I want to make a deal," she said crushing down on the sliver of happiness budding in his heart.

He looked at her eagerly. Her distance eyes gave him no comfort.

"I'll give you the codex you desire. In return, I want your help in finding my sister's killers," she said. She saw the plain stare on his face. She wetted her lips and twisted her skirt.

"I know I'm the one who needs this marriage more than you do. I cannot leave my nephew with the Romano family when my sister made me her son's godmother. I promise I will make up to level the… balance…" She tried to smile. "I'll give you everything you need, the codex and a wife."

Tony felt like the world was slipping from under his feet. He thought feeling like a husk was the worst thing he felt in ages, but she managed to scorch that thought.

What is she saying…? Is she believing that I wanted her for the Codex? She believes Randy?

Tony's breathing turned shallow as he felt like disintegrating. But he knew one thing. He cannot let her go. He will disappear if he lets her go.

"Fine," he said. If this is the deal she wants, he can give her that. He wants to find out who killed his brother too. It's no deal.

"Great! Marriages need understanding. Not love," she said. The autumn wind rustled her hair, and her smile reached her reddened eyes. "I'm glad we could reach an understanding."

Tony's heart shattered to pieces.

How can she say this? Love is the foundation for marriage. How can she...

It hit him, the truth.

It's not her fault she talks this way. It was his.

Was it Voltaire who said it...?

The first sign of love: for men is timidity, in women it is courage.

He knew her feelings. She showed it by being courageous. But he couldn't. He was timid and that's what led them here.

He cannot let her go. He will tell her the truth. He can change their situation.