My Friends
(Morgan Pov)
It has been a week since I did that job interview on a whim. And it is with confidence that I can say that I don't like my coworkers. They aren't bad people, I just prefer not to spend any more time than necessary with them.
Nothing against them personally, they just aren't the type of people I usually get along with. The leader of this ragtag group of mercenaries is Bruno. Mainly because he is the "strongest" person here, but I know I can kill this guy if I need to.
This guy is one of those macho types and not in an endearing way. He is aggressive, arrogant, and not very bright. He doesn't know when to shut up, he has such a short fuse and constantly tries to sound smarter than he is. Unfortunately, the dumb stuff he says isn't even funny.
I can tolerate him because he is unironically behaving like a heel wrestler. If he ever challenges me to an arm-wrestling contest, I'll stop holding back and destroy him. Depending on how annoying he is that day, I might be tempted to break his wrist.
Kurt and Karl are twins, it doesn't help that they both use swords. They are alright, but they keep to themselves. They may not be social, but they are very professional while on the job. I respect how they conduct themselves, so I give them the distance they clearly want.
Lando is the person I can't stand to be around for more than 5 minutes. He's annoyingly optimistic and friendly, the problem is he isn't very perceptive. I'm very pragmatic, paranoid, and I love my personal space.
With his personality, he won't stop trying to "help" me. I tried telling him I'm fine, but he still thinks I am putting on a tough front. It's very tiring for me to deal with him. With no signs of his behavior changing any time soon, it's only natural that I don't get along with him.
Manfred has a drinking problem, but that somehow doesn't interfere with his work. He has a short fuse like Bruno, but he can also get clingy at times. He's the easiest person to deal with, give him a drink or some food and he will leave you alone for a long time.
Gael is a fuck up, the weakest link. I stay away from him because I don't want to kill him out of sheer rage. I'm robbing him after this job is done, he nearly got me killed on three separate occasions.
I know I desperately wanted human interaction after being isolated for a considerable time, but I forgot the fact that I don't get along with many people. It is times like these that make me think about my friend group.
I doubt I'll ever have a relationship that comes close to my friendship with them ever again. I could be wrong about that, wouldn't be the first time I've fallen victim to the nostalgia bias. Then again I'm in such a bizarre situation with this second chance at life I have.
The bond I had with them is something I can't replicate in this life. As you grow up people change, they drift apart, and the time you can spend with each other is limited. Despite that, the four of us somehow stuck together for so many years.
I can't grow up like a normal person because I don't have to go through my childhood and adolescence trying to discover who I am. I already know what type of person I am and I won't change anytime soon.
I am already a jaded adult, so people drifting apart from me won't hurt as much as it did. I now understand that this is also a natural part of life. To make a relationship work, you need time away to appreciate them and to reflect on the things you have been through together.
Dying has given me a new perspective on life. Time is the most precious thing, but there are just too many things a person can do at any given time. I want to make the most of my limited time and enjoy it. I don't want to die with as many regrets as I did last time.
Yet to properly enjoy my life, I need to soothe my paranoid mind. That makes me focus on things I don't necessarily like doing, but I do them because it calms me down. I don't like constantly training or fighting, but the future benefits outweigh my current misgivings.
Maxwell Divine, Lewis Morte, and Daniel Evermore. Those three were basically my brothers, we did so many things together. Looking back, some of the things we did were questionable and some of them were even noble in some twisted sort of way.
...But one thing is certain, I will always look back at those memories fondly. The three of them were the people who influenced me the most. I learned a lot from them and from our experiences together.
My first friend and my best friend Max. Our friendship lasted over 2 decades and ended because I died young. I don't remember exactly how our friendship started. I just know we met in preschool and from there we have always been together.
Growing up we were known as Max and Mark, double M by some people. In our profession, Officer Divine and Officer Faust were a duo responsible for some of the biggest crime busts in recent years.
There was no one I trusted more to have my back than Max. When we worked together, I felt like there were very few things that could stop us from accomplishing our goals. I doubt I'll ever have a partner like that again, much less a friend.
My best friend was very direct, bold, blunt, and very emotional. And I wouldn't have it any other way either. I knew no matter what we did he would always have my back. I always tended to overthink things and he was the one who pushed me to do something.
He taught me how to live in the moment and how to live with the results of my actions. He was an intense person, always pushing himself to be better and to do things better. He didn't just want to be good at something, he wanted to excel.
Me being his best friend, he wanted me to be there right beside him every step of the way. He pushed me to improve myself and go beyond the limits I believe I had. I improved a lot as a person because of him.
His intensity did get on my nerves at times, but it only got to that point whenever Dan got too into it. Daniel was always such a stand-up guy which made it hard to be mad at him. He is always polite, humble, idealistic, altruistic, and very optimistic.
His integrity was something that complimented Max's intensity for better or worse. Whatever we did, Daniel always wanted us to do 3 things. We constantly had to give it our all, we had to do things right, and we had to go the distance.
He wanted to get the most out of every experience. That's why he wanted us to do things this way. He cared more about the process than the results. He believed that every little action matters. And in time that small action will amount to something greater.
My father may have taught me the importance of hard work, but I only understood how far hard work could go whenever I saw Daniel. His approach to things made it so we did not have regrets when it was all over.
It's thanks to him that I formed so many good habits. I also learned how to reflect more on my actions. Max taught me how to have a good mindset. Dan taught me how to have a good work ethic. Lewis taught me how to have a good thought process.
Lewis is a prick, but he was our prick. Lewis at his worst was petty, vindictive, shrewd, and pragmatic. He was also a genius in every sense of the word. We met in middle school and I will admit I didn't want to even be associated with him at the time.
We became friends despite our initial misgiving because we could not deny how alike we were to each other. We often approached, viewed, and similarly reacted to things. That is the reason why he had such a large influence on my thought process.
He was an extremely intelligent and talented individual. He could do things in a way most people couldn't. A person can't come up with a response to every possible situation in a short amount of time, but Lewis was a savant.
In a situation where most people are barely able to come up with a plan, Lewis was able to come up with 5. The scary part of this was that these plans were the quality of them. He was somehow able to hone in on the most optimal solutions in such a short amount of time.
His approach to things was to be constantly thinking and planning. With that notion in mind, he would continue to refine these plans until the very last moment. This would either allow him to replace one of his initial plans or to give himself even more options.
His method of solving problems is not feasible for everyone, it only worked for me because of how similar we were. Lewis has explained to me how his problem-solving method works, I have no idea what sort of thoughts crosses his mind.
What I do know is that while the method was the same, our approaches were different. My end goal was not to find the optimal solution, it was to give myself as many options as possible. I did this by envisioning as many scenarios as possible to not be caught off guard.
I believe that no matter how well thought out the plan is, there is always a chance it can fall apart. There are just too many variables that exist in the world at any given point in time. That is why I prioritize being adaptable.
I have enough faith in my skills and judgment to be able to deal with any unforeseen circumstances. It's futile stressing over the things that aren't in your control. It's better to do everything you can in the present and do your best to live with the result.
Living by that tenant is how I came to terms with dying and leaving everyone behind. As long as I have my memories, I will always have my regrets. The best I can do is use everything I learned to make sure I don't make the same mistakes.
There is a high chance I'll meet people that will remind me of those 3. I'm not going to try to replace them, but I will undoubtedly feel more comfortable around people that resemble them. That means there is a higher chance of me being more biased and friendly towards them.
So if anything happens to my current coworkers I wouldn't care. They aren't my type of people and I doubt I'll interact with them in the future once this job is over. If they die, they die. Wouldn't be the first time that the death of a person I knew did not affect my sleep.
Wonder what I should do now? Since I have been reminiscing for quite some time, should I pick back up an old hobby? We did a lot of things that required coordination between 4 people, so there is not much I can do solo.
One of our most successful endeavors was being a barbershop quartet. We got to the point where we could all sing the different parts of the quartet. We could even switch to different parts mid-song without anyone noticing.
I was the baritone because I had the widest vocal range by far. It was my duty to carry the group when they were lacking. It was good practice for changing my voice to different pitches on the fly. I had so many fake voices I could use, I should work on that again.
I'm not even sure if my natural speaking pitch is the same as my first life. You get used to your own voice very quickly, it doesn't help that my memories are melded. If it is different, I wonder if I can replicate it. I guess I found a hobby, this will be good training.