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Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Tired of one bad choice in the personalization of his trait, Kaye, now Kai, logically planned his suicide for a better chance of reincarnation to get rid of the curse that his trait had almost become. Now, Kai is in a world where people breathe fire and fart thunder! *** Warning: I'm still playing with the idea of a female and submissive Orochimaru and if you don't think fem Orochi is a waifu with a long tongue and a quirk of swallowing things then... welp. The harem and r18 stuff will happen later because I generally write them after developing a few things but the work is at a fast pace in the terms of mc's strength and growth. Slight AU. *** I do not own the cover pic, credits to the creator. If you want me to take it down, I will.

FanHarem · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
237 Chs

Missing Pieces (2)

"It is quite weird for you to set your arrogance aside. Last time we met, you WERE arrogant, yes? Not in yourself but in your ability to research and find the problem to everything without sacrificing anything but... general moral values. Not that you Shinobi had such decency in the first place. And here I imagined that you were dead. Thinking your soul was probably consumed by the reaper instead of the King of Hell. After all... you have become so different. I could not even register your chakra signature if not for you adopting your male form. Quite the coincidence, no?"

Not the least bit disgusted by the slithering accent with a raspy undertone, Orochimaru leans against the railings and looks in a particular direction, and replies to the tiny arm-sized snake coiled around the metal bar of the railing in her undisguised voice.

"Ironically, change is perennial. Not man. I just understood that and set aside my arrogance."

"For someone who speaks of change, you still continue to lie," the snake hisses but the words are magically transported to her senses.

Smirking, Orochimaru nods, "Well, I AM a bitch that way."

"And who is that? I sense someone with my senjutsu chakra and the physiology of those freaks of nature adopted by Rikudo."

Orochimaru blinks in surprise for two reasons.

'She can only sense one of them? I'm sure both have my chakra and the kekkei genkai she is talking about... and Rikudo?'

"Is that Kekkei Genkai... close to the Sage of Six Paths?" Orochimaru questions.

"And there is that arrogance. Instead of answering me, you are set on finding answers for yourself."

Mocking a sigh, Orochimaru hums, "That's Mitsuki. My... well, survivor."

"Poor soul."

"Not really. I stopped my previous habits long ago. In fact, I stopped them the moment I had my second success after achieving harmony with the Senjutsu chakra left by you."

A little surprised which shows in her voice, the snake questions, "And how did that happen, do tell. You are one of the most stubborn shinobi born... well, not naturally, of course. But for a weapon, you sure have a dull and bendable side."

"You don't say," Orochimaru smiles and heaves somewhat, "And why should I tell you anything? You can't do anything to me without your real body. And for that reason, Ryuchi Cave shall never appear near Konoha because it has the support of Mount Myoboku and Shikkotsu Forest."

The snake slides up on the metal bar and raises its head, "That may be true. But what of it? I would have devoured you had you failed in adopting your sage mode, even an imperfect one. You now show value."

"For what, exactly?" Orochimaru questions.

"Let's see," the snake hisses, "It's a Prophecy I am supposed to bard down to anyone courageous and capable enough to enter the Ryuchi Cave."

Orochimaru finally looks at the snake with a mocking smirk, "Please keep your bullshit to yourself. As if some prophecy will ever keep me interested."

"It could be about the fate of this world, no? Are you not interested?" The snake questions.

"I am interested in the fate of few individuals," Orochimaru returns to look at one particular direction, "But of the world, no. Change is perennial. But my ambition is to become an unchanging force of nature."

"I thought with the recent changes you gave up on it... to know everything. Some things never change, I see."

"And you said that after achieving Sage Mode, I will have the resources to pursue my dreams."

"I lied," the snake replies, "But you decided to latch your hopes onto me because no one else would, right?"

Orochimaru grows silent and a merry giggle escapes the slithering mouth, "Now THAT is a surprise. Did you find someone else to latch your hopes to? Is it that boy Mitsuki? He certainly has massive potential but... sigh, to be interrupted by a bug-eating buffoon."

The snake melts into the metal railing and disappears while Orochimaru hears an abrupt and loud greeting, "Yo? Why are you looking at that orphanage so intently? Looking to adopt?"

"I didn't think you would return so quickly, Jiraiya. You must already be on your way to Konoha for something else before you got Sensei's words, right?"

Laughing, Jiraiya nods, "Yeah, I was. But still... why are you watching that orphanage so creepily? You know the double standards, right? If Tsunade gets down with a child, it's fine. If you did..."

"Maybe I'm interested in a young boy, too," Orochimaru smirks.

"That's even worse," Jiraiya blanks out, "And it actually makes me feel a bit better about my own tastes."

'Take a hint already!' Orochimaru hisses internally. Why is it that every wayward chick would pick up on the hints instantly but not a single guy ever did?

"There's a kid there. Mitsuki," Orochimaru sighs. She hasn't been doing anything aside from research. One of the main tasks she took up is to make Mitsuki 'legit' in Konoha and for that, she needed to sneakily change some records and add him to an Orphanage for a considerable duration.

"Mitsuki?" Jiraiya leans against the railing and questions, "Why don't you ask Sensei to get the paperwork rolling?"

"Because I am unsure if I would ever be an acceptable parent," Orochimaru frowns, speaking the truth this time.

Sensing Jiraiya's stare, Orochimaru adds, "I have come to realize that parenting is not a mission or an experiment. So, I am left wondering if I should involve myself in his life."

There were a lot of darker secrets Orochimaru left out obviously but a major reason why she thought of putting Mitsuki in an orphanage was to finally let him socialize with other children after training him adequately to control his strength and... to have a moment of consideration about what to do next.

As she replied to that strange snake— She had long changed. For better or worse, that is yet to be known.

"Heh!"

Jiraiya's stifled chuckle pulls Orochimaru's attention as she questions, "What's so funny?"

"If you're already thinking whether you would be good enough or not means that you have some instincts of a parent, at least."

"Spare me those emotions," Orochimaru narrows her eyes and muses, "I'm merely wondering if I would drive the boy into becoming a psychotic killer or an emasculated shinobi."

"Come on," Jiraiya's grin broadens, "I know you! You never dealt with such issues before so it's obvious you're growing. Instead of adoption, however, why not find a woman and settle down?"

"Do you consider yourself settling down?" Orochimaru questions.

"Well... no," Jiraiya shrugs, "Not in the village, at least. I'll settle outside. In some random location and with my opponent's fatal attack."

"Such grand aspirations," Orochimaru smirks.

"Speaking of women... why do you smell like one? The perfume, I mean," Jiraiya inquires with a curious expression.

"I just told you. I'm trying to attract a man," She replies.

"Ugh..."

"That is incredibly offensive."

"I agree," Jiraiya scoffs, "Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Even men are attracted to other men like Sakumo."

Orochimaru glanced at Jiraiya and then replies, "I stated everything in my report if Sakumo is going to be the next topic of our conversation."

Jiraiya hums, "Of course. Just wanted to hear it from you directly."

"The Kumo's team isn't behind it considering their surprise. Sakumo was thrown back into the direction from where his team traveled ahead. His body was nowhere to be found. And... Kumo's team had an interesting mercenary from the scent of his body."

Jiraiya nods again, "Thanks. But... don't you feel that something's missing?"

"Obviously," Orochimaru hums, "Blast Bugs are strictly regulated in Kumo. And Aburame Clan has always kept a clean record. To betray their village is irrational thinking and they don't do irrational. So... who could get this Aburame clansman such a lethal weapon? An outside source, surely."

"And who would this Aburame Clansman surely believe if not for someone who was part of the village with high authority before."

Orochimaru gives Jiraiya a puzzled glance only for the Toad Sage to admit, "I'm talking about Danzo. Sensei checked the record for me and that traitor happens to be working for Root before it was disbanded!"

Observing Orochimaru's lips part in shock, Jiraiya is a bit confused himself, "Is it that surprising? I thought it was given."

Of course, it was surprising. She, Tsunade, and Kai took out Danzo long ago.

But Jiraiya did not know that... and no one else aside from Mitsuki does either.

'The... the enemy is trying to use Danzo's name? Are they aware that he is caught or not?' Orochimaru wonders but her current position don't let her think the most about it.

Jiraiya follows up with his talk with Tsunade's clone and the bet she agreed on before they decided to take their leave from the rooftop.

"Seriously, why are you wearing women's perfume? Is it a bad challenge or something like that?"

"Just let it go... you're never going to get it," Orochimaru groans rarely but she does so now.

"Maybe you're interested in stuff like that? You know, you could get a lot more privacy into women's lifestyle by transforming into one. I tried that with the civilians for my book but given how differently they would react to a man, and meaner, too, I just decided to peep on their baths as a man!"

"Your smugness is unwarranted right now," Orochimaru stares hard at Jiraiya, a bit exhausted. How can a man be this close to the truth but still not see it?

As they leave, she turns to direct her gaze over to the orphanage... and feels a similar conflict.

She knows the truth about what she 'needs' to do. Ordinarily, she would have killed Mitsuki the moment she felt these considerations bubble within her chest but now...

Now she wonders if she has it within her to be THAT decisive.

'Maybe Tsunade's do-goodness rubbed off of me... after all, I can't possibly feel empathetic for a child out of nowhere...'

"Hey, maybe we should finally try and get a date for ourselves? Seeing Tsunade reach down than the acceptable age really got me thinking we should at least try."

Orochimaru looks at Jiraiya and then shrugs, "You DID try to get a date, remember? And your stunts drove the woman of your dreams to, as you eloquently quote, reach down than the acceptable age."

Jiraiya felt that one and shot Orochi an annoyed glare.

"No need to look at me like that. Or did you expect a snake to not snap back after your consistently ridiculous questions?"

To be fair, Orochimaru just felt like being a little petty. The quicker Jiraiya or Hiruzen realizes she's a she, she wouldn't need to stay in a disguise. After all, her revealing the fact that she's a woman and a sage at that would not have THAT great of consequences from Hiruzen and Jiraiya's side...

But she is at the point where they either catch onto her hints or she stays hidden.

"Fine, let's just go and have drinks..."

"Jiraiya."

"What?"

"I have a favor to ask."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Years ago, when I entered Ryuchi Cave, Snake Sage said something about a prophecy. It's safe to assume from Mount Myoboku's and Ryuchi Cave's rivalry that the Old Toad Sage must have equal might, or insight, at the very least. Ask him for me if he knows anything about this prophecy."

"A prophecy? Since when did you start believing in stuff like that?"

"I don't."

"So? What did this prophecy say?" Jiraiya questions after a moment of silence and Orochimaru looks at him for a moment before smiling, "Just ask the Old Sage whenever he wakes up. I heard that ever since Kai requested an audience, he has been feeling especially sleepy."

Jiraiya rolls his eyes and nods.

***

Alternative Title: Prime Mommy; The Persistent Snake; Jiraiya Driving Chicks to Rob the Cradle; Orochimaru is Petty That Way; New Tsundere Snake— Just get the Hint!

***

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