It's cold

The scenery unfolding before my eyes is covered in snow. I lost the feeling in my fingers some time ago and my whole body is shivering. My heart is as cold as my fingers. Numb.

I know that my fingers will hurt when I get back into the warmth of my home. If you want to feeling something, anything, you will feel hurt. And I am terribly afraid of the inevitable suffering that will follow. But I am even more afraid of losing myself in numbness and indifference. I am afraid of losing my identity.

No, that is not true. I don't know who I am. I couldn't. But I want to. I want to live. And to achieve my goal, I have to go throgh every hardship that will come to me, even if I feel like breaking down.