lo_rezi
It starts off with an interesting pemise and builds up to the mystery surrounding lucy and her mother. The story even has magical elements that I didn't expect to see at all, so this should be pretty interesting........try using more dialoue and consistently sticking to one perspective to enhance your flow.
I feel like the main downside to this story is the writing quality. Some words seem off because the characters are screaming/shouting them but they are lowercase, and it kinda makes the scene confusing, but other than that, this book is really good! I like the premise and other than grammar it seems pretty well written. I'm not sure if it's finished cos the last chapter was updated a year ago but good job!