1 Insecurities

Hey, Introduction Time? I'm just someone going through new hormones in my body and thought about sharing her crazy stories to people. The chapters would have a very chaotic energy which I apologize for in advance, but trust me when I say to not give it too much thought and just relate to these chapters at times because honestly all of us are the same humans just going through personality changes and the normal teenage crisis.

We all go through puberty now don't we?

Really freaky thing huh?

And you know something that's even more freaky? That we don't openly talk about puberty.

Now what's puberty according to Google?

"Puberty is the process of physical changes through which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of sexual reproduction. It is initiated by hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads: the ovaries in a girl, the testes in a boy."

Let's be honest, you skipped that didn't you?

Moving on

Puberty in simple words is

Girl = Bleeding every month Also known as Periods

Boy = Voice cracking, erections all-day and everyday

Or Let me put it in this manner that most of us Teenage kids understand it as, Feeling Aroused or for all you very obedient Christian kids out there, who never rebel their mama, it is a tingly feeling in your reproductive organs that you may get from several things.

Now some of our older generations, be it our society, family, friends etc. They have been extremely paranoid about things relating to puberty, sex, anything which we know they call it as

"Adult stuff" or "You're too young for this".

If your parents were anything like mine , you would have remembered that at theatres, if a kissing scene popped up on the screen, within a second their palms would be covering your eyes , spouting out the words,

"SHUT YOUR EYES".

Now I, as a child, used to get so panic-stricken as to what's happening that I would immediately shut my eyes and keep asking

"Is it over?" and "Can I open my eyes".

And well, if you never went through this 'unfortunate time' , my exact words would be

"Damn are you lucky".

Maybe some of your parents were open ,never gave it a second thought, perhaps kissed in front of you (which apparently my parents never did, or even any of my friends parents) and that actually is a very good thing , because now if any sexual scene appears on the TV while I'm watching a movie with my family, It gets so awkward that Either I just get up in excuse to use the washroom , start tapping on my phone or act as if it never happened in the first place.

Now I am an Asian, and not just any Asian, I am from India, where public affection, even for married couples, is basically considered NASTY. Kind of ironic because India used to be the country which was extremely open about sex and sexual orientations and written almost 2000 years ago, one of the most classic ancient books that dealt with aspects of the sexual life and sexual pleasure including of 64 sexual positions that also offered some adaptations for LGBT relationships, Kamasutra, originated from India. Kamasutra is the oldest surviving Hindu text on erotic love and yet India had considered LGBT relations a crime till September 2018.

And Boy, if you ever kissed in public, people would be like

"JESUS WHY DIDN'T I DIE BEFORE SEEING THIS"

And I'm not exaggerating at all , this is nothing compared to how some couples are beaten horribly by their families, sometimes society and even the cops. I actually even have experience regarding this, both personal stories and some from my friends families.

Now I know many of you reading would be feeling rather uncomfortable or weird because even as the modern generation, we still lack communication skills when the topic is sex or puberty.

And this is completely understandable because even I have gone through that so many times .

As an insecure teenager, I thought speaking to guys about sexual feelings would be more weird and awkward rather than speaking about it to girls.

But Apparently I was wrong.

When I told my ex best friend that I have commitment issues and I would rather hook up with people than being in a relationship, Do you know what her reaction was?

'Ew dude, what's wrong with you? Are you serious? Don't act like a slut.'

And honestly, I was completely baffled by her reaction and was genuinely hurt because seemingly, I thought slut was a ghastly word.

But when I gave it a second thought, I understood that Words do not matter.

They are just what they are, Words.

It's how we take them in, we let our feelings shape these words into thinking that it could possibly mean something abusive.

And I thought, how does it matter?

And Why does it matter?

It's because our upbringing was in such paranoid and religious house holds that we believed that hooking up and one night stands would send us straight to Hell. Because Lust is not a feeling, but a Curse. Which turned out that they believed talking about sexual feelings, talking about periods/erections, are a bad influence to children.

And I have seen it happen with hundreds and thousands of people.

Trying to be the definition of normal according to society, we bottle everything up, even the things that occur to every single one of us, to every human being.

But that's what I'm trying to convey , maybe our definition of normal is different.

So If you continue reading just know that This is not weird. Sex isn't a loathsome topic to talk about. It's not weird when you find out girls or guys masturbate, it's not weird when you find out your little siblings are the result of your parents having sex with you in the next room , it's not weird to try on a condom in your room alone, it's not weird to have sexual feelings about the same gender.

And it's not weird when we talk about Sex and Puberty with Everyone, be it your family, friends or crush or someone you had a hair pulling fight over who's hotter,

Shakira or Beyoncé.

(And for the record, I choose both.)