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Fearing Life, Coveting Death

[What is fantasy?] For Alonn, a young elf, it's something he deeply desires. All the books on his shelf are evidence. People tend to place too much value on what they will never get. It's no different with fantasy. But Alonn will understand it, that his own reality is what really matters for him. For good or for evil. [For a fantasy might be light, but also dark...] His choices will be the thin thread dividing fantasy and reality. He will struggle to take a single step within the endless darkness, for reality hates him as much as he loves fantasy. . Seven books, seven choosen ones. After reading 'Chronicles of a Forgotten World' his own world turned upside down. Alonn suddenly discovered his parents disappeared, all they left were farewell letters. But that is by far the least painful thing for him... Each step towards ascension seems to cost a piece of his life. Each step towards his parents seems to cost his own soul. But he doesn't give up. Not because he has an unbreakable mind, but because this was his fate, he was born for this. After a long time fighting, there's no difference for him. He still doesn't exactly know what his dream is, but he knows one thing. "If my life is really a book, I will make sure to kill the author." "But if I'm not able to, I will make sure to find a way... to kill myself."

ILuxTenebris · Eastern
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25 Chs

Long

The statue colapsed in the lake's water with a 'splash', leaving Alonn with a cool feeling.

He felt himself might go cool because of it.

Gulp

Sweat dripped from the elf's forehead and he went rigid as a stone, the only thing that moved was his throat swallowing saliva.

A minute, five minutes... nothing happened.

"Holy Tree, I thought I would die!" Alonn murmurou e respirou fundo.

"Yes?" A mysterious voice sounded in Alonn's mind.

Suddenly, the sound of bangs filled the chamber. It was the sound of Alonn's heartbeat.

"Who are you?" Alonn asked while trying to calm down.

"Are you seeing anyone besides you?"

Alonn shook his head in denial.

"Really?"

Alonn shook his head again.

"..."

Chill

"Wait, don't tell me you are the statue?" Alonn asked while cursing himself.

"No" The voice answered.

"Then..." Alonn slowly looked at the giant skeleton on the other side of the lake.

The giant skeleton appeared to be that of a snake-like beast, but something has changed. Its eye sockets are glowing in a faint blue light.

"Oh, it's you. hehe" Alonn laughed a bit out of sorts and was almost running away.

"...What are you doing here?" the giant skeleton asked.

"If I say it's an accident do you believe?" Alonn asked with tears almost running down his face.

"No, it's impossible for a sacral realm being to come here."

"What do you mean?" Alonn was confused.

"..."

After a while in silence, the skeleton asked, "What age are we in?"

"Age? I think it's something like thirty thousand years after the great extinction, but I don't know if you would understand it."

"Great extinction?" The skeleton seemed confused.

"...Something like the end of the cultivators, spiritual and cosmic qi, sounds familiar?" Alonn asked with a strange excitement.

"...Are you lying to me? What are you talking about?" The skeleton seemed enraged.

Alonn was scared for a brief moment but gathered his courage and said, "I don't know what is your age, but it seems you were stuck here for a long time."

"..." The skeleton was silent.

"I am not lying, this world has lost spiritual qi for tens of thousands of years and it just returned."

"Why would I believe you?" The skeleton asked with a strange voice.

"Well, I won't get anything by lying to you. And as you see, I'm just a sacral realm cultivator, what can I do?" Alonn chose words as if his life depended on it.

After a long time being silent, the skeleton said, "Time passed so fast..."

'This is what happens when you die,' Alonn thought.

"What are you talking about, I never truly died,"

"...You can read my mind," Alonn almost cursed.

"Anyone above the spirit crown realm can read the minds of a inferior being such as yourself," the skeleton seemed amused.

"...Then, did you awoke because destroyed the statue?" Alonn asked.

"No," the skeleton answered.

"Then why?"

"I was awake from the moment you stepped foot in this cave chamber."

"...Oh, I see," Alonn face was almost burning.

"..." The skeleton was silent again.

"Cough, can I ask you something?" Alonn said.

"Do you want to know the reason I am stuck here? You don't need to know," the skeleton read Alonn's mind.

"Ah, then-"

"That statue was here for a long time... It was already here when I fell in deep sleep, I don't know it's origins."

"Woah, and I just destroyed something so ancient?"

"Yes, congratulations," The skeleton seemed amazed with the elf's reaction.

"You came here expecting a beautiful naked lady, a hidden boss and a treasure... But now that the only thing you found is a soul... How do you feel?" The skeleton asked.

'What kind of question is it?' Alonn contorted the corners of his mouth, briefly forgetting that his mind was being read in real time.

"I feel good to be alive," Alonn answered without hesitation.

"That's a good answer," The skeleton said and then laughed.

"...Why are you-"

"I'm laughing because you are funny and make me remember my sister," The skeleton interrupted Alonn.

"Your sister should be a good person, I presume," Alonn said with a smile.

"If she is still alive, yes," The skeleton's voice seemed a bit sad.

Before Alonn could say anything else, he felt an enormous heat consume him inside.

'What is it?' Alonn thought as he dropped to his knees.

"Well, you seem to be poisoned," The skeleton said.

Alonn didn't even have the strength to move his lips, the heat was gradually making him lose consciousness.

"It must be because of the strange mutant moss that you ate before, or maybe the gases from the lava chamber," The skeleton seemed to be in doubt.

"But you don't need to worry, your body might die but your soul will stay alive within this chamber."

'Ah, how comforting!' Alonn cursed in his heart with bloodshot eyes.

He gathered the rest of his strength and threw himself into the lake.

"Poor pointed-ear being, the water won't help you...?"

Suddenly, at the bottom of the lake, two pearls appeared. Both were the same that Alonn had encountered before.

Shining like stars, they both 'swam' towards the sinking elf.

'Could it be, is it the so called fortune after misofortune?' Alonn thought with a blurry mind, until the last moment he didn't lost hope.

The pearls gently reached Alonn, but it didn't do a... exactly good thing for him. Both started to merge with his body.

When the elf thought he would be saved, he noticed his fingers are turning into stone.

'...' The poor elf lost his final hope.

"Hmm?" Out of the lake, the skeleton suddenly moved its bone hand.

The sinking elf was suddenly pulled out of the lake by an invisible force.

"How much of a coincidence..." The skeleton murmured and seemed surprised.

"Pointed-ear, listen with attention," the skeleton said with a dignified voice.

"If you want to live, you need to eat more of this moss!"

'... What?' Alonn, who was almost losing his consciousness, was shaken by the skeleton words.

"The poison seems to be burning your vitality, but the pearls are absorbing it! Although the poison can't completely nullify the effects of the pearls, this is at least delaying the stone-turning effects!"

Alonn looked to the walls of the cave chamber and wanted to move, but he didn't have the strenght.

The skeleton helped and levitated him to the east wall, where there was a lot of moonlight moss.

Alonn slowly extended his stone hand and grabed some of the moss in the wall. Without hesitating, he ate it.

However, the effect does not seem to be immediate.

Slowly, his whole right hand turned into stone.

'Well, can you just kill me? I don't want my body to turn into stone.' Alonn thought, knowing that his mind was being read.

"...Eat this now," suddenly, some sunlight moss appeared above Alonn.

The elf tried to extend his left hand, but his left arm already transformed into stone.

"Here, eat," the skeleton said as it made the moss enter the elf's mouth.

Alonn swallowed in one go.

Suddenly, Alonn felt a imediate change.

"One alone burns your vitality, the other freeze it, but if together your vitality is instead nurtured and stimulated, what a strange thing," the skeleton murmured.

Alonn's body stopped turning into stone, but his left arm and right was already beyond repair.

"Well, it can't repair the damage made, but will keep you alive," the skeleton made the elf land slowly on the ground.

"It seems you will stay here for some time, it's good to have a companion after such a long time," the skeleton laughed.

"...I am really cursed by this world," Alonn murmured, he finally sobered.

When he turned his head, Alonn saw his left arm turn to dust and blood started to come out of his body.

'It's one disaster after another,' Alonn thought with clenched teeth.

He circulated his True Qi to his left shoulder and suppressed his bleeding condition. At this point, he grasped some principles behind the use of True Qi.

It's almost: If you belive you can, you can. The strength of a cultivator is directly connected to the faith he has in himself.

"Well, you have a strong dao heart for someone at the Sacral Realm," the skeleton praised.

"...Dao heart?"

"You don't know about it? It is your foundation."

Alonn shook his head and asked, "Can you explain to me?"

"When you opened your root gate, you did it with the help of your faith, or desire if you wish."

"The dao heart is the concept of the strenght of your faith and desire."

"But only after opening the heart gate you will be able to understand your dao heart more understandably."

Alonn sieghed and was silent.

"Are you afraid?" The skeleton asked.

"Is it so obvious?"

"It's indeed obvious, who doesn't fear death?"

"What should I do now that I lost my arm and hands? I can't fight anymore, I can't work anymore."

"It's not my problem, you need to figure it out."

"Thanks for the good words," Alonn almost laughed.

"You must get up and eat more, the effects of the two poisons will soon be over."

"I know..." Alonn said and got up.

"Why can't you feel the pearls...?" the skeleton asked.

"Why are you asking me? Didn't you read my mind already?"

"Oh, yeah..."

Both went silent and Alonn started to eat as much as he could. Strangely, he didn't feel the uncontrollable urge to eat moss like before, he remained sober.

After a good time, the poor elf found a hole outside the chamber to shit.

"You know I still can see you, right?" The skeleton voice sounded in the elf's mind.

"..." Alonn's face was almost melting from the shame.

"Can you give me some privacy?" Alonn asked with a visible vein in his forehead.

"Oh, sure. I won't look."

"..." For some reason, Alonn could feel the skeleton's gaze.

Since he had no hands, the poor elf could not clean himself properly. But he quickly learned to use True Qi to do this.

At the sacral realm, it's very difficult and consuming to use the True Qi outside the body, even if just a little bit to clean his buttocks.

But it was a price he was willing to pay.

...

"If one day you manage to open the spirit crow realm, you will be able to create new arms," the skeleton suddenly said.

It had been a month since Alonn had kept company for the imprisoned soul.

"Above the seven gates... what kind of altitute is that?" Alonn murmured as he ate some moss.

After a month in the cave, Alonn was still unable to find and expel the two pearls from his body.

"Higher than the highest mountain, but you don't need to know much about it right now," the skeleton said.

"Long, since you are a wizard, can you teach me about the cosmic qi?" Alonn asked.

Long was the name of the skeleton, Alonn discovered it some time ago.

"You are a cultivator, you don't need to know about it."

"You are really stingy..." Alonn clicked his tongue.

"But since you still have powers, do it means this world recovered it?" He then asked.

"Well, I awakened recently then I can't say for sure that the cosmic qi had really vanished, right now I am slowly recovering my lost powers," Long answered.

"When I was a child I learned from books that the wizards of the past could even create separate worlds," Alonn said with wonder.

"Well, it's not exactly creation, but something similar is possible even for me. Of course, right now I can only use bits of my original power, the cosmic qi here is too thin," Long said.

"Can a cultivator create a world too?" Alonn asked.

"Just as I said, it's not exactly creation. But a cultivator can also open a separate world if he fulfill the requirements."

Time slowly passed, Alonn's pains grew along with his understanding of True Qi.

Although Long is not a cultivator, he has a lot of insights about spiritual Qi and it helped Alonn a lot.

Unfortunately, his True Qi was growing very slowly and he did not know when he would be able to reach the peak of his current Realm.

"The internal fight within you is messing with your cultivation, you need to get rid of your current situation if you want to breakthrough," Long said with a concerned voice.

"It's easy to say... I still can't feel the location of the pearls and I can just feel something inside me sucking my vitality and True Qi. Do you really don't know anything about the pearls?"

"No," Long answered listlessly.

"Tsk..."

"Did you just thought I'm useless?"

"You aren't useless, but you know how to piss me off."

"Listen, even though I don't know exactly what these pearls are, I realized that they are helping you," Long said with a serious voice.

"...Control yourself... don't curse the monster..." Alonn almost burst when he heard this.

"I mean, if you ignore the fact that you almost died and became a cripple, it and the two poisons are helping you to refine your body and True Qi. Don't tell me you didn't felt it? Your True Qi and body are way stronger than before."

"It's just like a cycle, the poisons are stimulating your vitality and True Qi in excess and the pearls get rid of this excess, this way your whole body is just like a alchemy furnace that is in constant fire."

"I can somewhat understand what you are talking about, but it won't improve my mood. The fact is that I'm a thin thread away from death," Alonn said and started eat again.

"And it is good for your mind too," Long said.

"...I'm not a masochist," Alonn said with a strange look.

"You fool, I'm talking about your dao heart. It has gotten stronger by being tempered by your constant fear of death. You may have noticed that your fear of death has subsided considerably since the first day."

Can you give me some feedback about the latest chapters? I would be very grateful.

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