Fate or Dejavu?

HE KNELT down, closed his eyes and asked for God's miracle. He found himself inside the chapel of the hospital, he went in to pray. As he uttered his prayers, his eyes began to water again and everything that happened three days ago rolled like a film in his thought. He felt so heartbroken. He cherished Seiren so much—and all he just wanted was to have a proper break up. But why did this thing happen? Was this his "karma" of being a selfish jerk?

Quen and Sieren were classmates and friends before they became an item, five years ago. They got along so well; they both loved sweets, movies and extreme sports like sky diving, mountain climbing and a lot more. But one thing Seiren didn't know about him—that he was actually afraid of heights. He just pretended to be tough because he loved Seiren so much that he wanted to be with her every minute.

Seiren was a twenty five year old pet shop owner, a freelance romance novelist, a certified weirdo—and of course a hopeless romantic. She dreamt of possesing a cute love story just like the plots in her novels. She liked sweet nothings, letters on their monthsaries and anniversaries, serenades and dance flash mobs. Quen, on the other hand, finished college with flying colors and became a researcher and a paleontologist for five years now—that he dreamed of since childhood—he was also a food addict but he didn't possess any talents—in the end, he ended to become a laughing stock.

Nevertheless, he really enjoyed every second of his life with her. His "cutie-patootie". They had arguments and misunderstandings but after a few days they were okay again. He could still remember the moment they first met during senior high school; she was a bookworm ever since, a computer geek and a nerd that truly caught his attention. He wasn't being too proud, but he was a heartthrob then and girls chased him everywhere—except for Seiren, who was a snobby.

He befriended her and to his surprise—she was cool and fun to be with. She was very smart and an adventurous girl. Out of his league, he had fallen in love with her but what made him more amazed was with Sieren's revelation—that she had a crush on him from the very first day she laid her eyes on him—but because he was famous and handsome, she restrained herself and avoided him.

And he couldn't help it but blame himself for what happened to her. He was really a big jerk. He could feel his heart breaking apart. How could he hurt someone as precious as Seiren?

One day, he got a big offer from his Superior to go to Africa and conduct a research about fossils and artifacts that would take years. He broke the news to Seiren but unfortunately she wasn't happy and she disagreed about it and she got more worried especially when she found out that they wouldn't have a communication by any means.

He told himself that this opportunity only happens once a lifetime and it was not offered to anyone other to him because as per his superior's recommendation, he was the right person for it. He did not want to let it go. He thought that if Seiren really loved him, she would understand where he was coming from. That was why he invited her for a dinner, three days ago and they talked. He knew she would get hurt when he said he had decided to pursue his dream and he wanted to cool their relationship off.

She cried and begged but his decision was final. They went separate ways, temporarily. He loved her but he also wanted to prove something to himself.

He offered to walk her home but she refused and he understood.

He dreamed about her that night. In his dream, Seiren was so sorry for being selfish and that she was spontaneously telling him that just loved him so much that she couldn't blame herself from fussing. Until he heard consecutive rings on his cell phone that woke him up at eleven in the evening. His world fell apart from Seiren's sister's devastating news—Seiren got run over a car and was brought to Sacred Hospital.

He suddenly froze in his bed as he felt something was piercing inside him. How could this thing happen? She didn't text him back when he asked her if she got home safely. This whole thing was his fault. He cursed himself to hell!

He arrived at the Hospital; the ER nurses told him that Sieren was already in the operating room, so he immediately went there. There he saw her parents and sister in front of the Operating room while waiting for the result. As he approached, the doctor came out; he announced that Sieren had a major head injury that led her into coma. Her mom almost collapsed with that news, he was shocked that he couldn't make any movement. Sieren was brought to the ICU for intensive medical treatment.

He asked permission from her family to take care of her and for them to get rest. He was also sorry because he felt being responsible for what happened.

He couldn't take a lengthy look at her because of the apparatuses that were attached to her body. Suddenly tears fell from his eyes; he already missed the happy, adventurous and weird Sieren. If only he could turn back time—he wouldn't let this thing to take place.

She didn't wake up to the day she was supposed to. And the doctors were already talking about complications. Sieren's family was crying. Her Mom was sobbing on her Dad's chest and while her tough sister looked very frail. Quen felt like he was dying and he couldn't breathe so, he went outside and found himself praying at the chapel.

As a result of fatigue, stress and sleepless nights—he didn't knew he fell asleep. A soft tap on his shoulder wake him up, when he opened his eyes he saw Sieren's Dad and rays of light coming through the windows of the chapel made him realize it's already morning and have been sleeping for already eight hours. Sissy—Sieran's sister—was supposed to wake him up when she saw him sleeping, but he looked so tired so she just let him sleep.

He let out a frustrated sigh, when he heard that Sieren's condition had not gained any improvements. He also let that chance to explain to her Dad about everything what happened for the both of them. And he was teary eyes when Seiren's family did not blame him at all.

He excused himself when he got a call from his Superior. He was required to be in the office by tomorrow, because the head researcher in Africa was already asking for his presence and he was supposed to fly by next week. He suddenly paused for a moment until a decision came to his mind—he was sorry to his Superior but he explained that he couldn't afford to leave his beloved Seiren.

Stupid of him but he realized just now what his real dream was—to be with this girl, forever. He was just blinded by his passion. He could have that opportunity again but he could never have another Sieren in this lifetime. He wanted to curse himself but that wouldn't help at all.

He went home for a moment to take a bath and eat. After that, he sat at the couch where he used to seat with Seiren. Again, tears fell from his eyes. He felt so useless because he seemed to have been powerless to ease Seiren's pain. If only he could switch the situation, he would be willing to have been in her place. He closed his eyes and uttered his prayers. He wasn't a prayerful man but this time he really needed Him. He was willing to do anything and to grant his earnest prayer for Seiren to live with him. He promised that he wouldn't let this chance go off his hands.

He didn't know that he fell asleep. He saw Sieren in his dreams, bidding her farewell. She hugged him tight like that would be the last time she would hug him. She said, he should take care of himself and be happy. He couldn't stop his tears from falling until a ring woke him up. It was Sissy telling him that Sieren was in critical condition, so, he urgently went in to hospital.

At the Intensive Care Unit, he saw her family crying and very anxious. He couldn't take any step to get near them but he found himself hugging Sieren's Mom. Sissy told him that her sister's heart beat became unstable that reached the 50/50 condition and the doctor needed to use the electric-shock machine that administer a controlled electric shock to the chest to save her.

He bit his lower lip out of anxiety. He then again uttered his prayers. When the doctor came out from the ICU room, he said the chance was almost gone that they already needed to make a decision either to let her go and be an organ donor for those who are in need or to let her stay in her vegetative state.

Of course, he wouldn't let the first option happen. But the doctor said that the chance was too small.

"Kuya Quen, what is your decision?" Sissy asked anxiously. She explained to him that her parents had made their heartbreaking conclusion and have agreed to the first option. Now, they were asking for his notion on the matter. But what to do, he couldn't afford to let her go? "We only have six hours to decide." she added.

He bended down and silently cried. This was the hardest decision he would ever make in his entire life. He asked for their permission to talk with Seiren privately, so he went inside her room. He then again sobbed as he saw her almost lifeless body. He reached for her hand and kissed the top of it.

"Please, wake up!" he said sadly. "You are my real dream and happiness and I am so sorry for being a selfish jerk, please cutie patootie, come back to me. Please, come back to me." He said as his tears fell down from his cheeks. He bended down and hugged her tight. "I love you. I love you, forever and ever." And he kissed her forehead.

He stayed at the ICU room for two more hours. He held her hands for the last time as he heartbreakingly bid his last farewell to the girl he loved the most. He would never ever forget her and he will never let her suffer again. So, he made his final decision.

When he stood and was ready to leave, a hand stopped him from leaving. His eyes became wide open and urgently turned back to the person who held his hand—and he saw her eyes open. He was shocked but he immediately called for assistance.

"Q-Quen," he heard her saying his name as she removed her oxygen mask. So, he got nearer to her. "I-I love you," she said with her uttermost efforts as the tears fell from her eyes, he nodded and wiped her tears away.

"I love you, too." He add back. He saw her smile.

"I-I want you... to be... happy, please... make your dream... come true." She said. He felt that his heart was breaking and he couldn't stop his tears. "I-I'm sorry for being... selfish."

He shook his head. "No, I was the one who is selfish. Please, don't leave me, us. Your parents and Sissy are still hoping that you could wake up from this nightmare. Seiren, you are my real dream and happiness, please stay with me—with us. Hmm?"

She shook her head. "The light of the heaven is already asking for me," she said smilingly as the tears run down again from her eyes. "Please, tell them that I love them so much."

He shook his head. "Don't say that!"

"I will wait for you... let's see each other again, soon." She said, and then he heard the sound of the flat line from the cardiac monitor.

He stood and supposed to call for a help but he saw the doctor and Seiren's family were standing in front of him silently crying; it seemed that they were standing there for quite some time and watched as she bid her farewell to everyone.

His knees were weak and he fell down... and cried. He wished that this was just a dream but sadly, it was so real.

"HEY, Quen! Wake up, you're having a nightmare!" He quickly opened his eyes. He was greeted by James, his senior co-researcher. He looked at the clock; it was five in the afternoon. "Y-You are crying." He added. He didn't know he fell asleep for thirty minutes.

He quickly wiped his tears away. He felt his heart was still aching and sad. He could still remember his dream a while ago. It gave him the impression that it was sure enough. He pinched himself to make sure that he was not dreaming anymore and he was thankful because he was back to his true world. He quickly stood from where he was seating to call Sieren, he just wanted to know if she was really okay.

And when she answered his call, he was relieved. Thank God! He said. He was so thankful for this second chance and that he wanted to go home to embrace and make out with Seiren, he already missed her so much—though they'd just seen each other a couple of hours ago.

"Hey, before I forget, our Superior has something to tell you." James said. He nodded and went to the office of their Superior.

He greeted him. "James said that you have something to tell me?" He asked.

He nodded and smiled. "The head researcher in Africa is in need of a good researcher and a Paleontologist, so I've suggested your name. What do you think?"

He dropped his jaw. He already heard and knew about these lines in his dream just thirty minutes ago—this was the reason why Seiren... died. Yes, he'd been waiting for this a long time but he could have that opportunity again but he could never have another Sieren in this lifetime.

He was shocked! Ironic, but this whole thing had already happened in his dream. Did he possess a futuristic power? Or a déjà vu?

"I-I'm sorry Sir, but I guess I still have many things to learn here," he answered. "But I would like to recommend James, instead."

"But I have chosen you to—"

He shook his head to cut his words. "I'm not yet ready, sir. I'm sorry." Then he smiled and excused himself. He would not let go of this chance with Seiren—not in this second chance.

Whether this is fate or a déjà vu, if life has given him this additional opportunity, grab it!