42 Haha, Get Bent

Nicholas looked at Olga in silent apprehension, tuning out the other two people in the room completely... He narrowed his eyes, making the already nervous woman fidget in her place even more than she already was, "Did you have Da Vinci make your chest bigger?"

Olga paused, clearly expecting something else, "W-Wha?"

"And he calls me a pervert."

"...Senpai."

The pale haired teenager shamelessly put his hands near his own chest, moving them up and down, "I think it was a bit smaller?"

"I-I almost die and that's the first thing you consider?!" Olga shouted at him with a red face, stomping her foot, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Nicholas smiled faintly, "I thought you were perfect the way you were."

Olga.exe officially crashed in a puff of smoke that left behind a woman red up to her ears.

"Ohoho, nice one~." Chaldea's resident genius slapped Nicholas on the shoulder with a grin, "I didn't think of that one."

Nicholas let out a small relieved sigh, he'd read and seen enough fiction to know that things like these could fuck up someone's personality harder than a punch to the back of the head, "Welcome back, Olga."

"Hm? I see, so senpai was checking to see if the Director was still the same." Mash hurriedly jotted something down a notepad she'd pulled out the second he started talking, "I see... Truly, only a few people can even hope to come close to senpai's skill in interpersonal relationships."

He kinda wanted to give her a hug but there was sufficient chance she'd explode upon contact so he was gonna hold off on that for now, "What was nearly dying like?"

"I was conscious, you know?"

Olga recollected herself quickly, as was expected of a genius magus... She definitely didn't answer his question after two minutes of slapping her cheeks... repeatedly, they were red for some other reason!

"That means I heard how you promised to bash Caster's head in if he was wrong... It was kind of nice."

"Me? Nahhh... You were probably hearing shit in that gem. You can never trust the Irish to not fuck with you like that."

"But senpai you di-...mmmph!" Mash's mouth was promptly covered by Nicholas' hands before she could spill state level secrets until she eventually relented and stopped struggling to ask with innocent eyes, "Eh, but why wouldn't you tell her?"

"You'll get it when you grow up." Nicholas gave her a thumbs up.

"..."

"Pft-..." Olga giggled at their antics, hiding her mouth behind her hand, "...I missed this."

"Lady, you only been gone all of two days, stop acting like you was dead for years or sum."

"It's the thought that counts... You wouldn't get it, pea brain."

"You come up with that one after 46 hours? Damn Olga, you got some serious skill issue there."

Their 'argument' was interrupted by Da Vinci clapping her hands together several times, "Right, right~! As amusing as it is to see you young ones have your lovers' spat, I've got something even more interesting to tell you."

"Don't think I forgot about you, stank ass old ma-." Nicholas closed his mouth before he started a discussion he just did not want to have right now, "What you got for us?"

Da Vinci was kind enough to ignore his earlier words and cleared her throat, straightening herself, "Mhm! As I was saying before, the perks of having a body constructed by yours truly entail... Hm... Eternal youth for one, I can see how that'd be appealing."

"Indeed."

"You no longer need to eat or sleep but you can if you want to... I know how women are stingy about what they eat, cause weight and whatnot but you no longer have that problem! Eat all you want! Eat a whole horse if you want!"

"...What kind of people would eat horses?" Olga asked flatly, weirded out and even Nicholas nodded in agreement, that meant something cause the motherfucker ate anything you put in front of him if he was hungry enough.

Da Vinci tilted her head slightly, "I mean it's not that bad if cooked properly, you know?"

"It wouldn't make sense to eat horses even back where you're from Miss Da Vinci, especially considering the monetary value and the work they could provide." Mash pointed out quietly, staring up with big purple eyes, "Are you messing with us?"

Da Vinci looked at her in shock and horror before her head shot towards Nicholas, "What? She'd have totally fallen for that! What have you done to my sweet, gullible Mash?"

"Taught her the essence of touching grass."

Nicholas didn't feel the need to explain any further.

"How did we go from benefits of a new body to eating horses to Mash being Mash?" Olga mimicked Nicholas' usual expression.

"EHEM! Anyway! There's enhanced combat capabilities and greater capacity for spells and the like... I'll send you the details later."

Olga nodded slowly, "I'm beginning to recall why I avoid you."

"That's harsh~."

"That aside, Nicholas, I'll meet you in my office later... I have something to discuss with Da Vinci here."

"Cool, but why you folding your sleeves?"

Olga didn't answer his question, instead she timidly walked over to him and gave him a small hug, "T-Thanks for being there for me... I... I shouldn't say it but you getting angry made me hap-py."

"Angry? Me? Nahhh, I am zen... Zen is me."

Olga chortled, "Sure."

Putting her hand to her ear, Mash narrowed her eyes, "He's right here? ...Are you sure? Alright, I'll bring him over." Ever the dutiful kouhai, the lavender haired girl put her notepad back in her jacket and called out to Nicholas, "Senpai, Doctor Romani wants to meet you in the medical ward... He says it's urgent."

Once she was sure the two had left the room, Olga turned around to look at Da Vinci with clenched fists, "Was he right? Did you mess with my body?... No wait, you did. I can tell."

"Umm... I heard men like them bigger? It's a universal thing too. Believe!"

"You know, I'd believe you if the first thing he looked at wasn't my thighs..." Olga crossed her arms under her chest, "Besides, it feels strange. Can't you just change it back?"

"I thought you were perfect the way you were." Da Vinci mimicked Nicholas' tone with a grin, holding a hand over her forehead, "Ohoho~ Such a cool line would affect any maiden's heart... I don't blame you, Director."

"S-Shut up!"

-

"Sup doc." Nicholas sauntered into the medbay, looking around curiously, "Is this about my therapist?"

"Well there's that... But no, not really. How was Olga?" Romani greeted him with a small, gentle smile, twirling around in his seat... He had one of those rich office seats which in retrospect, made sense considering the guy was the head of Chaldea's Medical Department and as of now, all other departments too.

"She was aight, like usual. Glad she's safe though." Nicholas reacted flatly.

"Well it's just been two days, I can kind of see why you don't have much of a reaction." The fluffy ginger nodded to himself with crossed arms, "That's good... but I've called you here to tell you about the next step of your journey... It's the Hundred Years' War... Orleans to be precise."

Nicholas dragged over a chair and straddled it, chortling at the doctor, "Haha, get bent. We coulda avoided it if you let me shoot my shot at Joan of Arc. I could've met a saint and humanity would be all peachy too."

"W-Why do you think it's related to the french Saint?"

"It ain't?"

"..."

Their talk was interuptted by a shout from the corridor.

"MASTER! MOM'S EATING ALL MY SHIT! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BITCH!"

-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.