Kunikida's Wish, The Fear of the Beasts, Destruction and The Feelings behind Kill Someone (1)

Warning: This chapter contains rape scenes that may be unpleasant for some readers, it also contains sexual scenes (where there really is love), you read at your own discretion.

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My body feels... dirty...

Before I knew it, it had started to rain.

Lying in the schoolyard, with my stomach acid filling my lips after throwing up everything I had in my stomach without stopping, I felt like my throat was shattered after doing it.

I feel dizzy, cold.

My body... does not respond to my orders.

The mud is on my face and uniform. I don't mind being dirty... because I can't get dirty anymore.

I could die... but currently I don't think that currently matters to me.

What else could go wrong?

Ah, Kazuki probably hates me too, right?

When I think about it... a pain builds up in my chest.

...

...

...

I'm really in love with Kazuki...

I want him to hug me, but he will get dirty.

I want him to touch me, but he will be grossed out.

I want him to stay with me, but he will walk away.

I want him to kiss me, but he will throw up.

I want him to say he loves me, but he will lie.

I want... Kazuki...

─Agh, you are a big idiot!

Ah... even... I can hear his voice calling me an idiot...

I'm sure I'm hallucinating. I must be on the brink of death. Hypothermia is going to kill me.

Probably my consciousness is about to fade and I will finish dying...

Ha ha... hahaha... Hahahahahahaha!

HAHAHA!

I'm crazy!

Amano Kazuki was lying... of course he doesn't love me...!

Why should he love such a disgusting woman like me ?! That's stupid!

I'm a tainted woman, and he was just taking advantage of my weakness to get close to me, just like everyone else has! They are all like that! Nobody! NOBODY thinks of me as an individual like the rest! I am an insignificant piece of garbage shaped like a semen container, nothing more than that!

He...

Kazuki... d-doesn't... love me...

...

What the fuck am I saying? Kazuki is not the type of person who would lie about that... he is very honest with me... he would never play that way with me.

I love him for his honesty over any other of his qualities...

─Hey... are you okay? Kunikida, I'm talking to you.

Why can I still hear his voice?

Could it be that I'm finally dead?

...

Hey?

Am I being charged?

My field of vision abruptly changed, which led me, by itself, to see Kazuki up close... he is carrying me princess style.

...

Maybe I'm really dead.

The image of Kazuki carrying a tainted woman like me is very hard to believe to be honest.

I have to be crossing the threshold between life and death right now, because none of this is real.

Or so I wanted to believe.

Kazuki (probably imaginary) takes me to the [Warehouse] of the sports clubs, where, wrapping me in a tarp, he begins to dry my hair. This is all to take care of me.

I can feel... his hands touching my hair, but that's probably an illusion too.

I... am... dead...

─No, you are not. You are alive and well.

─Auch!

─See?

─Kazuki, don't hit me on the head, that could kill me!

─All I could do is make you more of an idiot than you already are... but seriously... you exceeded my expectations of your idiot, you fucking idiot.

Muttering the last part, Kazuki hugs me from behind.

I can feel through the canvas that he is just as drenched as I am. It feels pretty weird to feel like he's hugging me from behind like this, but I think I'm able to resist it long enough.

I'm fine while...

─Blergh...!

I felt nauseous once more just remembering it. Once again, my gastric juices run up my throat and I expel them.

I couldn't resist it...

It's too gross to remember...

─Okay, drop everything. I will be supporting you whatever you need, Misaki.

Saying those words to me, Kazuki slaps me on the back to help me vomit. Where once again, I let it go, tearing my already worn throat even more, also making my belly ache again.

But Kazuki is here now... everything will get better.

After helping me vomit, Kazuki gave me a bottle of water to replenish fluids and quell the nausea.

I just can't help it... wanting to throw up non-stop...

Finishing the bottle of water, I invite Kazuki into the mat so that he can warm up next to me. He's getting pretty cold right now as the water keeps pouring down non-stop.

Our hands come together, intertwining our fingers.

A smile spreads across my face, for the first time after a while. All because Kazuki lends me his shoulder to rest whatever he wants to do.

In silence we are.

But even that feels good, because I have Kazuki...

We snuggle up a bit and fall asleep while being as close to each other as possible. The hand that I am holding right now is one that will surely not let me go no matter how much effort I put into trying.

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After sleeping for a while.

It was already dark... by then, Kazuki and I were lying on a landing quilt, where we stared at each other.

To be honest.

I do not know who of the two approached first, but within this environment, we put our foreheads in silence, as if we were going to kiss, but that is not the case.

Kazuki is pretty good at knowing when the time is right for that kind of thing. It is currently not one of those times. But still, Kazuki rubbed the tip of his nose with mine a little.

My cheeks flushed a bit, but I can still tell that I am happy about this.

I love Kazuki, so this simple gesture calms me down a bit. It is what they call a "butterfly kiss".

Kazuki smiled and I... smiled accordingly.

Until now, Kazuki has been my only support. I have not been able to tell anyone else about the fact that I was raped and... I am very happy that Kazuki never demanded an answer to all the questions that he could answer.

Maybe that's another reason why I love Kazuki...

I take Kazuki's hand again... it's really weird... no matter how much I think about it, I don't think I've ever really felt fear or disgust from Kazuki. It has always been easy for me to be by his side and that was what allowed me to successfully socialize with him on a day-to-day basis.

Why is it different only with him?

Mm... well... this is fine.

As long as it's Kazuki and just Kazuki, I'll be fine.

─Misaki... ehm... I know it's rude to ask but... What did Kudou Hikari do to you?

For the first time.

I'm willing to really open up...

─Don't worry, I want to tell you...

─Are you sure?

─Very sure, Kazuki. I love you, thank you for caring.

─You're welcome... I love you very much too, Misaki.

I suppose that.

I can start.

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It all started on August 4, 2015.

That is a date that I will never forget.

Kudou Hikari was my neighbor and a university student at the time. His relationship with my mother was quite friendly and seeing the happiness on my mother's face, I also wanted to get along with him.

We went to the movies, the zoo, even traveling across the country.

I thought they were the happiest days of my life until...

"Don't worry about anything, Misa-chan... it will only hurt a little"

"I don't want to! Stop! Why is Hikari doing this?!"

"Because I love you, Misa-chan! You are... an irresistible child...!"

Terrified, with my hands tied and unable to defend myself while I was without any trace of clothes... I, at eleven years old, was penetrated by the one I had begun to love as if he were my own father.

I didn't understand it.

He was not able to understand it.

So I locked myself in, blaming myself for everything that happened.

I really... wish that was the only time... but it was just the beginning of a series of repeated rapes in which I would be forced to do the worst disgusting things.

"Drink it all, Misa-chan...!"

He made me drink his semen.

"Just hold the pain a little longer..."

He forced me to have anal sex.

"You are so cute even now, Misa-chan"

He licked my lips, and every part of my body.

For me, Kudou Hikari turned into someone more terrifying than death itself.

"Come on, Misa-chan! Just a little more and I'm going to cum...!"

He raped me many times, saying phrases like that.

Irresponsible words that he pronounced as if he loved me. But none of that.

I was being a victim.

Of the mire than forty times he raped me... there isn't one that I can't remember.

I had to fulfill the lustful wishes of a man I did not love. And I couldn't say absolutely anything to my mother, or that man would seriously hurt her.

That's why I endured... I endured and I endured...

To the point of only breaking me when you came into my life...

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After remembering the horrible experiences I suffered.

I cried a little more, but this time leaning on Kazuki.

He whispers in my ear over and over, "Okay, everything is going to be completely fine."

His saying those words to me just makes me feel so happy. Happy to be in love with someone like Amano Kazuki, who never blames me for everything they did to me.

Right now... Kazuki's heat is my most valuable resource.

The scent of him fills my nostrils, while his breath slaps gently against the back of my neck. Kazuki hugs me as if it were an important possession of his. I love how he is stroking my head with the greatest of delicacies, all because I love being touched by him.

Normally Kazuki only strokes my head to annoy me, but he also does it very frequently to comfort me and to praise me. Every touch of his hand makes me feel entirely at ease.

His voice, smell, taste, warmth from him... I have tasted many things from Kazuki, I have seen and experienced them, that was what made me fall deeply in love with him to the point of emotional dependence on the person of him.

I also love his kindness, his honesty, and his ability to change. Oh, and of course I'm also in love with his flaws such as his antisocial personality.

I like what he likes, with all the time we have spent together, I became hooked on his preferences to become a suitable girl for him.

And he was hooked on my preferences too...

Certainly Kazuki and I have a lot in common.

So... now that I've told you about all that...

─I love you... Kazuki...

─You know I do it too, don't push yourself too hard.

─I said I love you, Amano Kazuki! I, Amano Misaki, your younger stepsister, your understanding and your classmate, am deeply in love with you!

I sink my face into Kazuki's chest, to hide my embarrassed expression.

I'm sure I'm making the stupidest expression right now... fuck the one from before, this is the real one.

But... because I love Kazuki...

─Today... we can... I wish Kazuki. I want Kazuki... to hug me with all his love... because I want to reciprocate Kazuki's feelings.

This is nothing short of hasty.

It's... the natural order of things...

Since I love Kazuki and he loves me...

But, Misaki...

─No buts. If you resist me, then I will have no choice but to bend you a little.

─Ugh...

Kazuki trembles a little, retracting his hips when I bring my left hand inside his pants and touch his penis directly.

─W-wait... Mi-... saki...

The moment I start back and forth with my left hand, his breath begins to shake little by little. I can see from his face that he is very embarrassed that I am doing this.

But it's not that he just wants to do this.

I mount Kazuki, without taking my hand out of his pants or stopping my hand movement. Then I kiss him.

Kazuki allows me to kiss him without inconvenience and responds by wrapping his tongue around mine. He doesn't even seem to care about the fact that I've been throwing up before.

The heat in my body continues to increase, I feel the blood rush around my body and my heart, it beats like crazy.

Also Kazuki, I feel the pleasure reaching his body through the masturbation that I am doing. Every time I touch a sensitive spot on his penis, Kazuki instinctively pulls his hips away from him.

Our lips... kissing, tasting every last drop of each other's saliva but without spilling anything.

Once I'm done with the kiss, I go and sink my teeth into his neck. Kazuki suppresses a cry of pain and bites me too, to return the favor.

The force of my bite is such that I drew a little blood from there, which, I begin to lick delicately.

The taste of iron reaches my palate, but I don't dislike it, as it is something that came from Kazuki.

I love Kazuki and because of that, I love whatever comes from him.

I developed a certain skill in male masturbation just to use with Kazuki, so in no time, Kazuki became unable to resist the pleasure and ejaculated on my left hand.

That? I would only do this with Kazuki and with no one but Kazuki to be honest.

I smile a little, seeing Kazuki look away from the embarrassment caused by having ejaculated on my hand.

I take my hand out of his pants, and with the sticky white liquid spread all over the palm of my hand, I begin to lick the semen between my hands. This is another one of the things that I'm used to only doing with Kazuki and with no one but Kazuki.

It is bitter and dense, because it is the first ejaculation. But I don't dislike doing this kind of thing.

At least not with Kazuki.

Once my hand is clean, I take off my uniform jacket. Then I take off my tie and then begin to undo each button on my shirt.

I smile... looking at Kazuki embarrassed.

It looks like we are going to have a very entertaining evening.

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We came home after having sex at school.

Kunikida went straight to sleep... she was very tired after all the things that happened today.

Without a doubt it was a day of fluctuating emotions coming and going again and again... the truth is that I was a little afraid that I could not immediately locate Kunikida, I thought that she had gone to the bathroom...

Nevertheless.

The night has just begun for me...

From a secret compartment in my closet, I take out a trunk, which is the place where I keep all my [The Brotherhood] things.

Opening the trunk, I look for a moment at the foreign-made clothing that was given to me when I joined [The Brotherhood]. But before I get dressed, I go through the contents of what is here once, to make sure that absolutely nothing is missing.

The five old books that record the experiences of my ancestors as [Hunters] were there, intact.

There is a gauntlet with a real [Hidden Blade], not an [Einhenjar], I practiced with this thing to get used to my [Einhenjar] without cutting my finger in the process like the characters in a very famous video game...

- Don't even think about it, Hedrick.

I hear a voice in my head saying those words to me.

─Is there something wrong with trying something new, Brunhilde?

- There is! You're going to wear that dirty thing while you have me! I am all the arsenal you need!

─Yeah, but... I'm going to kill someone. I can't depend on you for everything, Brunhilde.

- You know... I can be more than a fool [Hidden Blade].

─Can you? You never told me that.

- Because before you were a simple [Level 0], since you are a [Level 3] in all the norm, you unlocked two [Levels] of mine like you [Einhenjar].

To put it better, keeping things simple, [Einhenjar] are weapons with their own consciousness that are linked both to the soul of their user and to that of the [Spirit] that wields it.

In my case, since I am someone very special within the world of magic, that allowed me to make a contract with a [Einhenjar] linked to one of the [Valkyries], if I'm not mistaken, she is the older sister of all the [Valkyries], her name is Brunhilde.

We have kept the contract for eight years in a row, and although we don't know much about each other, I know we can have a lot of confidence in each other's decisions.

Anyway. I understand what you are telling me, that the [Einhenjar] can take other forms besides [Hidden Blade]. It is like the [Salisbury Sanskrit] of the old man who has seven different forms in addition to the spell book that normally is.

I guess I'll keep that in mind.

─Tell me about that at another time, I have a job to do before I hear you speak.

- I'll stay alert to give you intelligence support.

─Thank you.

I thank Brunhilde and bring out the outfit that she had been putting aside until now. Ignoring Brunhilde's complaints, I attached the other [Hidden Blade] to my right arm and fastened it tightly.

I take off my uniform jacket to put on a black hooded jacket. I change my indoor shoes for a pair of mountaineering boots, take a small crossbow from inside the trunk and attach it to my left arm, only over my clothes, leaving adequate space to properly operate the [Einhenjar].

I put gloves on both hands.

Pulling even more weapons out of the trunk, I open the jacket side to side. Like I said, this is foreign-made clothing, and it is equipped with sorcery that nullifies the weight of the objects inside. Sure, this doesn't apply to me.

Thanks to that, no matter how many blades I put inside, the jacket will not affect my mobility. The blades, or rather throwing daggers have small spaces in which they fit.

With seventy-two daggers inside the jacket. I take out a special belt to put over the belt of my own uniform and one after another, I mount sixteen tube grenades and then, in a special space inside the jacket, I holster a rudimentary [Grenade Launcher] that works with these things.

Wearing all of this, I guess I'm more than ready to face the person who hurt Kunikida.

I go out the window of my room, and then I make a call to my older sister. Which does not take more than three seconds to answer.

- - -

[Anna]: I have located Kudou Hikari, do you want me to personally take care of him?

- - -

It would be a shame if it wasn't me...

What's more.

─Don't bother, just send me the location of him and I'll go take care of him personally. Make sure to set up the [Dimensional Barrier] within a one kilometer radius.

- - -

[Anna]: As you ask, brother.

- - -

After giving her the orders, Anna sent the exact address where Kudou Hikari is located to my phone.

I memorize the map effortlessly and without any kind of fear of what happens, I start jumping from roof to roof using [Sorcery] in between to increase the range of my jumps and dampen the impact force.

I'm going to put an end to this, definitively.