1 Prologue

From a long rest into the production environment, well, not actually rest. I just kinda get out with real entertainment productions world. Because my boss told me so, and neither my homies want me to back immediately at the road. They said I need spaces in between and recollect myself, because I am that pretty btch on having personal issues with my psychological stability. But believe or not I can stay still professional. I don't know how do I always do it, but maybe it is just PASSION. I love the arts of film, it is a burning passion of me since this two eye balls started to be glued to the so called television.

Anyways, I still did some pretty same things, but mostly just within the our personal production. I still visit my old office and volunteer to supervise. My action school family is open arms to give me cardio and keep me in shape. I do still commit to that part time text writer on that comics publication I was accepted from since then. But just a little bit of each only. I really focused this moment more for myself, my real family, and my family figure that I have here. There... I slowly earned myself again, but still have doubt in my thoughts and even I just came from success breach. I am still not confident for new chapter to open for me. Weither it is new, planned, goal or any thing else no one does expect to come.

Going downstairs to start my day... I'm picking up my things in the office that I left and I need to take before anyone else see it.

"Woah, heyya... What's up with the monochrome look?" well red-head Rachel here to provoke me. She's my bestfriend, and my first roomie on this house. Now we treat each other like sisters.

"Comfy... hehe." I response sarcastically.

"Is anybody's funeral?" Ate Peggy asked.

"Seriously, ate Pegs?" Ate Peggy is Kuya Dexter's girlfriend. She nice, she kind, she is caring. Practically the mother of this roof when all our mother figures and real parents is not here. She now took place of me being secretary of Dir. Akinston, it's been a long time tho, just sayin' to yah. Coz, background check.

"I thought you are going for the colors?" speaking of Kuya Dexter here he comes. Long-story short. He is my cousin, actually third, but still biological. And we didn't knew it, at first. He was my teacher in senior high, and he was the only trusty friend in particular matters I earned in that high school. Then suddenly we learned that we're dang relatives. But that doesn't connect why he's here. His girlfriend and him is insparable. I found his girlfriend first and she lived with us. Then he followed. They aren't burden in the house. They actually help like a lot. But Kuya Dexter is Kuya Dexter, smart annoying stunning handsome naughty Kuya Dexter.

"Not, because I started wearing with colors most of the time, it means I am already leaving the darkness. There will be times that I'm coming back to old and original me. And colors doesn't even changed me. It just another me who's calmer and kinda better on handling shts out."

Some just get out of their room at 8:45 in the morning. "AJ if you are gonna say something about what I'm wearing. Shove it, garggle and take your a** in the bathroom go to your girlfriend's shop. Got it?" I said as I cover his mouth. He responded with a nod and I released him.

That's my little smart shy introverted, but greatest actor of all the prankster little brother. Ejay Jhang... in Korean Jang Jeung Hae. We're half-korean, half-filipino that migrated here on America to work and study at graduate school (a life goal of mine, FOR REAL). And he is just here my responsibility until he and his girlfriend is off the nest, soon.

"Hey supp, love how he black is going. I miss yah seeing like that." our swag pretty and nosy editor have arrive, Sharlene.

"See Sharlene does appreciate it." I said.

"All for you ma'am." she said when she is already upstairs to the home office. I clicked as my response to her.

"Hey, hmm... I don't know if you know, but... even I know you don't really give notice to your other "brother", but just incase you don't see his text. He'd be meeting you on the office this noon." Ate Peggy said.

"Why?"

"A brother thing..?"

"Nah, his up to something for sure. That evil jerk..."

"Hey, Sang Ah! Too harsh on him already. Release that stigma!" Kuya Dexter called me out.

"What... I am just having fun on hating him not seriously. It's like I am taking out my anger on him, because of cannot be twisted existence without raging like fire."

"Without raging like fire, really?"

flashback...

Kuya Ethan is approaching, but I- "Oh, Ghad stop interacting with me I don't wanna see your face. It's like I am going to hell, ugh!"

another flashback...

He pranked me with realistic brain jello on my plate. "OH MY GHAD, WHAT F- IS ON MY-. I'M FREAKING HUNGRY! YOU LOST YOUR BRAIN, YOU PSYCHO. YOU JUST TAKE OFF MY APPETTITE. DO NOT MESS WITH THIS... YOU ARE REALLY AN EVIL JERK!" and I ran into the toilet, because I'm disgusted.

another flashback...

He gave me a present, but I hate seeing it. So I throw right it on... just my back, actually. "Oh, I am thankful. I just hate it. I also wanna see you suffer how am I disgusted of the existence of that group. I'll pick that up later and keep it. So don't take me seriously."

another flashback...

At the make up room... I just stared at him like I am gonna take his soul so that unwanted existance vanish.

end of flashbacks...

"I promise, it all just for fun. And I know he knows it. Plus, all his gift, which I know he intently give me even he knows my hatred of that group. Is on the basement. Where I couldn't see, out of my disgust for it." I replied.

"Stop making me remember pretty much every single thing or you're gonna take place my hatred for your so called twin." they played as twin brothers on the first ever and lastest show we're in. And yeah, they are my brothers on that story. I just bare with it, even though honestly, they are more annoying than annoying full force, together. But they have a strong independent little sister to seek with their mind games. A total roller coaster of win and lose battle of the dummies and smarties for the whole production moments.

"I also wish to unsee this. But unlike you, you take it too personal." he said.

"As a fangirl yeah, I hate scene stealer btches."

"Tell that right in front of him."

"Na-ah..."

"Whatever fix your problem."

Ate Pegs again. "Hey, you gotta tell him about their 7th monthsary with Wanda, okay? He might have forgotten it. Wanda can see signs of him not remembering that thing today."

"Why would I do that?"

"Wanda is in this city, and she's inviting the fam-bam for chicken and beer on the silent road tonight."

"Eonnie Wanda is this city!"

"Yes, I just said so."

"Gosh, those lovers..." and I smirked. Well, Eonnie Wanda and Oppa Ethan developed inside the production like magic. They are love-birds in the show, yeah. They are both Koreans, yeah. They are somehow mutuals, okay... And then poof they are dating. It's fine they are 100% comapatible for me. And everyone supports them, starting when they are approaching together till they are official.

"Oh, yeah, sure copy that."

And then my Uber have arrived. "Gotta go, I just pick this up and it'll be me time till chicken and beer is ready. Love you guys! Mwah!"

At the office...

I am right getting off the elevator that directs me on our floor.

"Holy sht, you are really in here." yeah, Ethan is in the middle of the hall with his another character aura. Leaning on an office chair fidgiting his hands. "Stop, doing it before I kick your a** outta here."

"Hey, language Chloerine!" Dir. Loki Akinston called me out. He calls me like that, in different ways, too many to mention.

"Sorry!" I responded.

"What the hell are you even doing here?" I asked Oppa Ethan.

"Checking it out my little sis..." he replied.

"Aren't have more other siblings to be with?"

"But I want to be with my favorite little sister."

"You won't get what you always want Gabe, okay? I'm not the other side. I ain't scared of yah. Got it?"

He followed me in my office and, "Sang Ah... Please release that stigma on me. I am not playing Gabe for the day, I promise."

"Out, and don't ever do that dog eyes again. You are upsetting my stomach."

"I only have private matter to pick up here and I am going on my way out to nowhere." I continued.

"And, no matter how you swear you are not gonna do it. A, you are a great actor. B, I can still see him and feel him, it makes me nuts. C, Distance yourself you are not part of my day."

"That's why release that stigma, Ugh!" he said.

"You know that's your "twin" said this morning, too."

"Well, if you can't spare the existance of Gabe Castle. Can you just stay for a little chit-chat I wanna open a topic you might interested to." he said.

"If I'll say yes would leave and close that door, so I could do my business?" he nodded. "Now, kindly get out."

"Love you sis!" he said when he leave with the chair.

"I hate you!" my sarcastic response.

I took the stuff that I needed and roll... Kinda forgot my "promise" of little chit-chat with bro. I tried to sneaked-out of the office, but...

"I thought we're talking?" he said, crossed-arms.

"Ah, I kinda forgot... Sorry." yeah, that acting Chloe is terrible.

"You're terrible actress Chloe." Dir. Loki said as he head out.

"Yeah, I know..."

"You guys, you can seat at the mid area. Beth, just brewed some coffee." Kathryn offered.

Gosh, they just making things better I so couldn't get away. Classic studio-office.

"Perfect!" Oppa Ethan reacted and finally in stand up to that sickining thrown chair.

We seated at the lounge chair and Kathryn poured us the fresh brewed coffee from the pot.

This smells amazing!!!

"So... are you ready to listen?" my bro asked.

"Let me do my, breathing excercises first." and then I do my weird spiritual summoning like of yoga breathing theraphy, that kind of thing for me.

"Okay, you go... Okay, what you wanna talk?"

"So, is your break in the industry is over?"

"I can't tell, my life is to uncertain for me to answer that."

"If you'll get an offer to go back, would you take it?"

"It depends on what is it, so what is it, spill it out! Don't waste my time."

"My show is open for auditions for new characters, and I am suggesting if you can give it a shot. It is actually kinda match for you. So I hope you try and study it..."

I stared at him sharply, raised my brow and crossed my arms.

"What show?"

"Your favorite..." yeah, it is hard for him to spill it.

"The one you play Gabe Castle." then he nod.

"You are risking my hatred for that character in doing this, you know?"

"I know..."

"Then why offer it?"

"I also miss working with you. And maybe, there we could build up our siblingship and just have fun around the set. It's your favorite, right? I am sure you're gonna enjoy there. And no one will play any better than you."

Oh, boy... why I do feel some butterflies get inside me.

"That's just you wanna talk about?" he nodded, again.

I stand up and say "Okay, I'm done. Going to my day."

I am on my way of getting out of our floor when.

"Why don't take it girl? You've been hiatus to anyside of this. And he right, no one could play better than you inside of it for sure. Because like, you know everything inside it already." Kathryn blocked me. I just rolled my eyes and continue to my way, but then-

"Hey, you... stop getting harsh to yourself, okay? Take your time to try and study it. If your heart really beat for it even it'll make you cry. Just do it. You do the best, and make your return. Okay?" Dir. Loki entered the scene and said it. He always do that whenever I doubt myself. So even if I don't say the word. He already know what's going on.

"I'll think about it, okay..." and indistinct noises from around talking about this make me cause to spiral even more. I forgot how thin our walls here for the long time I don't commit to my duties.

I am almost at the elevator when my phone ring. It is Sir Gerson Johanson from the publishing studio.

"Hi, good day sir... is there any concerns inside the studio that concerns back to me?" I started.

"None, actually." he answered.

"What's up with the urgent call?" we did agree I can answer with free spirit, still I know my limits to my superiors.

"Oh, we have reached success breach for the latest issue of the comics. So we decided to throw a party here at the studio. Would you mind to join us here?"

"You know I am not really part of your t-."

"Come on Chloe... you earned it to. Without you there will be no spark to do any of this stories."

"Is it Chloe?" I heard Mary from distance.

"Hey, Chloe-spark-machine," I love and hate that nickname. "Come over here! If I don't see you. I'll be kicking your sleep paralysis demon out, and do its job. You got that?" gosh, that emo girl. She is our supervisor in coloring department, by the way.

"So, Chloe..?" it's back to sir.

"Is there a cake in there?" I jokingly asked.

"We are sponsored of red velvet cakes here."

"Okay, I am coming. I need a stress reliever anyways. I am spiraling." and I just let my body like a dying vegetable.

"And I have to introduce you to someone, here. Okay?"

"Okay, yeah sure..." that kinda scary for me. Not in the wrong way, but just I am having spirals and now a mystery person in that studio. Like, seriously?

You'll know what am I talking about soon. Just bare with me, okay?

I am already inside the elevator. "Don't follow me, I told you so!" it's my "brother" again.

"You said you have plan and you can't talk to me and now you are going to a party to eat cake?" he said.

"I just told you lately, my life is uncertain. So please, hands off the door it is dangerous."

"I thought you want my hands of be chop off."

"Oh, even my desire for vengance wants it to happen. But in reality, there would be no next season if I'll do the honors. So..." he released his hands and the elevator closes.

I deep breathely inside the elevator and comfort myself.

"Oh my gosh, Chloe... What you doin' with yourself." I am almost on having panic attack. In just doubting myself. And I feel it is not just the doubt to myself, but the also uncertainty of the future after.

Oh, my gosh... I used to be optimistic, but- Why not now...

"Calm yourself Chloe, if it is meant for you, you can do it, okay?" a little monologue while I am alone in the elevator.

Yet, my dramatic talk was caught in action on the other floor. "I'm so sorry, you may enter." I said to the people who witness my semi, yeah just semi-panicking.

In to the last floor. I am speed walking, panting then... BOOYAH

"Hey, can I just give you a ride where you going." how the hell he caught me here? Gosh, my fake brother is a superhero. I forget that.

"No, no, no... I am going on my own and I need space with myself before I interact with a bunch of people, okay?" I said exhaustedly.

"You are clearly, don't look okay." yeah, he's right. I am bad actor to this type of situations.

"Nah, I'm good just..." and I just swipe him off my ways and go to the exit. Panting, heavily.

He followed me.

"Hey!" he tried call me, but I just ignore him. Thorough to this story, it is gonna turn more complicated 100% sure. I don't feel luck is on my side today anyways.

"Hmm... can I get your uber first? I am in the state of emergency. I really have to go?" I literally said to a stranger who's Uber just arrived.

"Oh, yeah, sure, no problem." she answered.

"Thank you so much!" and I ride inside.

"Hmm... Nightingale Publishing Studio." I said to the driver.

"Okay, ma'am." and then we roll.

"Are you really okay? Here some water for you."

"Yeah, thanks. I got mine here."

"Just breathe properly, and calm down."

"Yeah, I have to do that." then moment of silent for me cool the f- down.

I calmed down, finally.

"You know it'll be better if you let it out. What was it that startled you death." he started talking to me.

Well, he's right... it is better when I let this out. And I can talk to him even without context. He won't remember it anyways.

"Do you have a notion about doubting yourself to do something, you know you can do better than anybody else?"

"Well, yes. My whole highschool life was like that. That's why I didn't end up in college. I'm just living my life wherever it takes me, rather I would take my life to the way I wanted it. But even I didn't control my path. I am still happy enough and contented to what I have now. And that's all it matters."

"You know I'm saying. Take the risk. Own your life. Nothing is impossible if you try. Don't let it control you. As long as it makes you happy, just do it." He continued.

"Yeah, you're right..." and then I laid my shoulders down to the seat, cross my arms, look at the nowhere and think.