Fanfic #125 Humanity's Rage by kadotoriku(AttackOnTitan)

This fanfic is an au of Attack on Titan following Eren Yeager. I really like this fic because it takes in interesting turn at an important moment in the story and really fleshes it out. It also has some really great manga panels drawn throughout the fic.

Synospsis: Trost District is lost to the Titans, but Wall Rose is not. The Armored Titan prepares itself to breach the inner gate but abruptly halts in its tracks, turning and vanishing into thin air. One of the Survey Corps's raw recruits, Eren Jaeger, is one of the cadets that witness this perplexing behavior up-close. With growing fears that the Titans may be capable of human intelligence, it's the discovery of his power to control the man-eating beasts that kindles humanity's hope for true victory.

Rated: M

words: 50k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26420527/chapters/64365631#main

Here's the first chapter:

"Armin... this is a good opportunity, don't you think?" Eren takes a few steps forward, boots clacking against the roof tiles. "I mean, before applying for the Survey Corps, if we prove ourselves in the first battle, they'll make us fresh recruits... and watch how fast we get promoted up the ladder!" He faces his friend and gives him a big, cocky grin.

There's a second of hesitation before Armin smiles back at him. "Yeah... no doubt."

"Sorry to burst your bubble." They look behind themselves to see Mina putting a hand on her hip, unapologetic. "But a lot of people from our class are applying for the Survey Corps!"

"You left me in the dust before, Eren, but this time, I'm keeping up! And to make it interesting, let's see who can slay more Titans!" Thomas declares.

Eren rolls his eyes playfully. "You're on, Thomas! As long as you don't fudge your numbers."

Before their banter could continue, a nearby Garrison member yells at them, "Squad 34, advance!"

'That's our cue.'

Eren grabs his hilts and loads them up with blades. Looking back and waiting as his squadmates do the same, he raises a sword and says, "Let's go!"

They let out their respective battle cries and advance through the air as one unit.

Eren dashes, body thrumming and heart racing with excitement. Wind picks up around him, muscle memory emulating the many exercises they've done within the district. He exhales through his mouth, feeling jittery and agitated, and his eyes dart around for an enemy along the deceptively empty streets.

'What do we do when the Armored Titan appears?' He can't help but wonder, hands clutching his sword handles tighter. He hopes that the Garrison has some sort of plan and that the Survey Corps returns from their expedition fast. The Garrison ordered them, the fresh graduates, to participate in defending the district until all the civilians have been evacuated, but it's obvious that they too are frazzled at this sudden turn of events.

"Wha... that's—?"

Eren leaps off of a roof, swinging downwards. There's distant roaring coming from the Titans, all of them advancing with only a few of them actually getting killed off.

'Where are the Garrison soldiers on the front lines?' The only ones he can see are frantically fumbling their way around the beasts, no longer adept at using their gear and maneuvering around obstacles after many years of inactivity. "They're even roping the middle guard into the vanguard?"

"All those Titans already..." Mina trails off, features tight.

"What's going on? Usually, our peers in the vanguard hog all the action," Nac says.

Above Eren, Thomas voices out their fears, "Even though not much time has passed... has the advance guard collapsed?"

Already? That quickly, that fast, so soon? A coil of dread tightens in Eren's chest, a bitter taste on his tongue at the situation. 'It's not like I was optimistic, but this...'

He glances around to get a good view of their surroundings, trying to find where in the ever-loving fuck the other squads are when he spots movement and—

"IT'S AN ABNORMAL! DODGE!"

His body protests at being abruptly yanked into another direction and away from the Abnormal's trajectory. He grunts as his world spins and vision rushes to reorient itself, barely managing to grab onto the edge of a roof.

Eren turns his head just as the Abnormal wraps its lanky limbs around a tower. His eyes wide and transfixed in horror, he watches it lean to the side, revealing the prey it managed to capture between its lips.

"THOMAS!"

The Titan has one of Thomas' legs in its mouth, unfazed by Thomas' frantic twisting and turning to free his captured limb; and it tips its head backwards. Eren gasps and his body begins to move before his mind can process it, head whipping up to where his other squadmates are standing. "Move! We have to save him!"

'Abnormal Titans are unpredictable, but if this one moves slow enough...' Not willing to waste another second, he anchors himself onto a building and surges forward.

To his immense relief, he hears the others snap out of their stupors to follow behind him with mirrored urgency to rescue their teammate. Eren gets closer to the Abnormal, blades poised for the kill. He leaps across buildings, exerts power in every forceful step as practiced in hundreds of drills, and maneuvers himself in ways drilled into him by three years of brutal training to get closer, please, don't let me be too late—

Crunch.

The sickening, gut-wrenching sound of bones being crushed echoes through the air as the Abnormal bites down and swallows the meaty flesh caught between its teeth. Thomas' cries of anguish come to an abrupt halt, and he drops limply from the Titan's mouth.

"Someone catch him!"

A surge of anger boils the blood beneath his skin. Eren forces himself to go faster, fingers pressing down hard on the triggers of his gear. The Titan's bony body slides down the tower like an overgrown spider, its disproportionate legs stepping on another house. Reaching the beast before it can escape, he screams and drives his blades across its nape, hot and steaming blood splashing onto his uniform from the aggressive attack.

He lands on another rooftop, unable to express the wave of relief when he hears Nac yell, "I caught him!"

Eren immediately rushes to where Nac and Armin are huddled over Thomas, not allowing himself to breathe easy just yet.

Thomas is still breathing (thank Maria), but the Titan bit off his left leg starting from above the knee. It didn't bite the limb as clean as it could've, with pieces of severed flesh and muscle still dangling onto his thigh. There's a tourniquet firmly tied around his thigh, limiting the bleeding, but what Thomas needs is a narcotic to ease the pain, a fire to cauterize his wound, and to get the fuck off of the battlefield now.

"Shit," he mutters after finishing his visual assessment.

The stump is gently elevated, and he takes off Thomas' jacket. Blood trickles out slowly, evidence of his friend going into a state of shock, his body still in the process of registering the trauma.

'It could be worse,' Eren tells himself. 'Thomas could be dead.'

Mina's voice reaches his ears, "Five-meter on the left!"

His gaze flickers to the corner of his eyes and back then at Thomas. "Nac, think can you help Mina and Mylius? I only need a minute or two." They don't have much in terms of clean cloth, but the jacket will have to do to minimize dirt and dust getting inside the wound.

There's a pause before Nac makes an affirmative noise and zips away.

"Armin, if any Titans come near, tell or cover for me," Eren says, shielding the exposed stump with the jacket and twisting its sleeves around Thomas' thigh.

'We could loosen his harness, but he might need to be able to move if things get hairier...'

He shakes his head and follows his statement up with, "Check his breathing, his heartbeat, and if he's thrown up in his mouth. Did he hit his head when he fell?"

"N-no, Nac caught him before he could..." Armin comes closer, turning Thomas' head to the side and resting his fingers on his neck. "He's breathing okay and has a pulse, but it's weak."

"Better than nothing or else we'll have to do chest compressions." Eren grimaces. "Thomas, it's Eren and Armin. If you can hear me, please don't panic."

He solemnly notes the lack of response beyond a small twitch in the uninjured leg. No use in forcing it.

"We're here and we've got you covered. I'm gonna help out our teammates and Armin's gonna watch after you for a bit. Armin? Hold down the fort?"

His friend nods shakily and Eren smiles at that.

Standing up and shooting his hooks, he calls out for the others with a booming, "SQUAD 34, REGROUP!"

There's a distant affirmative or two, but his attention is on a frantic call for help. He flings himself into a Titan's line of sight and catches its attention away from a frantic Mylius.

"OVER HERE, YOU FAT BASTARD!"

Eren swings out of the way of an incoming arm, the perfect distraction for Mina to fly by the Titan's nape and cut deep into its weak spot.

"Thanks!" he calls after her and descends down onto the road where Mylius is.

"F-fuck, I froze up—" Mylius stammers but Eren isn't having any of that right now.

Grabbing his teammate's waist, he hoists the two of them up onto a house before any more Titans can catch them off-guard. Eren then lays his hands on Mylius' shoulders and catches his full attention. "Listen. Now is not the time to overthink things. Thomas needs our help right now. The others need our help right now. Focus on surviving. Do you understand me?"

He waits until Mylius nods shakily before, in a much softer tone, Eren adds, "You better now?"

Another small nod.

He lets go of his friend to turn around and search for their other teammates. All of them are strong, they can handle this, all they need is a bit of a push in the right direction.

"...I don't think I'm cut out for the Survey Corps," Mylius whispers from behind him, likely not intending to be heard but Eren hears it anyway.

"Don't force yourself to worry about that now," Eren says as he spots Nac engaging with a pesky seven-meter. "C'mon, we need to regroup and get Thomas to safety. Keep your eyes peeled for other squads!"

Rushing to boost himself with more gas when the Titan snags one of Nac's wires, Eren swoops in to slice its bony fingers off in a deadly arc of sharpened steel. He also slashes through the back of its knees while Mylius throws himself at Nac to get him out of the Titan's way. It flails uselessly and falls face-down onto the ground, dust flying upwards at the impact.

Eren runs up its back to deliver the killing blow.

"...Thank you," Nac says breathlessly.

"Don't thank me yet! There's still more coming. Are you hurt?"

Receiving a head shake in reply, Eren double-checks his blades. 'Shouldn't handle them too roughly, but they can take a little more beating.'

"Let's get back to Thomas and the others!"

His gear hisses to life again.

The heads of a few towering Titans peak through the top of the houses and some buildings collapse from the strain of Titans climbing on them in search of humans to eat. 'This is a fucking massacre,' he thinks grimly. 'They've torn through the middle and vanguard. Won't be long before they overwhelm the rear too.'

Amidst the chaos is the screaming of soldiers and new recruits and civilians alike being mercilessly torn apart, played with by giants driven by their insatiable carnivorous desires. He ignores those sounds, shoving them to the back of his mind because he needs to fucking focus and kill them all and get the hell to Armin because since when did I stray so far—

Eren only has enough time to let out an, "OI!" before a large, bearded Titan brings its stubby fingers too close to Armin, grabbing and then dangling him by his jacket above its gaping mouth.

"STOP!"

The Titan's entire body shudders, its chest rumbling as if bolstered with excitement at its prospective meal. Eren spots Mina frantically batting at her gear which clearly chose the most inconvenient fucking time to break down. He zeroes in on the Titan's hands, ready to give his all and catch his friend, slice the Titan's fingers off one by one and make it regret being brought into this world.

But then, his instincts scream at him in warning, internal alarm bells ringing, a shot of a freezing icy chill coursing through his body.

He shoots himself upward.

Underneath him, a small Titan jumps and bites on the space he would've passed had he not moved away. Its jaw makes an audible snap as it sinks back onto the ground without its intended kill.

'Fuck, that was close.'

In his momentary distraction, however, the bearded Titan chooses to let go of Armin and drop him down its slimy throat. Eren snaps his attention back to it, forcefully pushing his gear to its limits.

"NO, FUCKING STOP!"

He flings himself into its open mouth without a second thought, digging a sword between its top row teeth and pressing down on its jaw with a firm foot. With speed he never knew he had, he thrusts a hand inward to snatch Armin's wrist.

Armin's screams get caught in his throat, gulping for air in what he thinks will be his last moments but actually will fucking not. His fearful eyes stare back at Eren's own and, in them, Eren can see frozen mountains of earth, salty lakes that stretch further than the horizon, and fiery water that scorches everything in its deadly path.

They can't die here, won't die now.

Not when there's so much to explore, not when they haven't seen everything that the world has to offer.

"Gah!" With all his strength, he wrenches Armin out of the Titan's filthy mouth.

He lands on the tiling with a yelp.

"EREN!"

Eren presses his foot down harder, forcing the Titan's twitching jaw down to make enough room for himself to get the fuck out. Its saliva builds up around him, the nauseating stench of rotting corpses and blood wafting up the Titan's throat. He fights to keep his footing on the increasingly slippery tongue and braces himself to jump.

"Think I'm... gonna die here...?" the words force themselves through his grit teeth. The Titan's mouth wobbles dangerously, pushing against him and fighting to close itself—

"Eren!"

The sound of steam follows Mylius' shrill voice, and everywhere around Eren starts burning up.

He feels the Titan's body start to disappear, the canal of its mouth becoming looser and the weight disintegrating from beneath his feet. Smoke clouds his vision, the suffocating heat threatening to swallow him whole. Eren throws himself out of the Titan's mouth just as its massive body collapses onto the stone pavement.

Heaving, he catches himself on a roof and breathes in a large gulp of air. His left arm tingles, pins and needles creeping up from his hand to elbow. It took up more of his strength that he'd like to keep that Titan's mouth open. Thank Goddess he didn't dislocate anything in the process.

Eren closes his mouth, puts in the effort to breathe more normally through his nose, and stands up to check up on his friends.

"I'm okay," he says the instant the shock subsides from his body. "And thanks."

Nac lets out a tight, hysterical laugh. "Fuck, Eren. 'Suicidal Bastard', indeed."

"Is anyone hurt?" Eren scans his squadmates' weary faces and bodies. None of the evaporating blood on their uniforms seem to be from anything other than Titans, but they could be bruised or internally bleeding... His gaze lands on Thomas's unconscious body and the sight of it makes him bite his lip worriedly.

"Hurt? No. Terrified? Abso-fucking-lutely," is the reply given to him, but it's mostly lost as he then zeroes in on Armin, who's sitting on his knees with his eyes watery and frozen in a distant expression of pure terror. Eren approaches him and crouches down.

"Armin? Hey, can you hear me?" he says in a soft voice. When he gets no immediate response, he clasps his hands down on Armin's shoulders, jostling him a bit. "Armin? Wake up!"

It's unsettling how cloudy his eyes are, blank and unseeing as if staring straight through Eren, as if his spirit is wandering a distant plane away from its body, as if staring into a chasm of never-ending darkness and reflecting its nonexistent light. Eren wants to pull his friend out of it before he's consumed by his inner demons, torn apart by his own calculating thoughts, consumed by the blazing heat of the moment of the battle they've been thrusted into.

"Snap out of it!" he says with more urgency.

"He's not responding?" Mina asks from where she's guarding their position. "Shock?"

"...Yeah."

That's when a new voice joins the fray.

"GUYS!"

"Connie!" Mylius cries out, relieved, and Eren glances over to see a different—whole, unharmed, complete—squad come over to the tower they're defending.

Connie inhales sharply. "Holy shit, Thomas—"

"—Is stable. For now," Eren cuts him off, waving and snapping his fingers in front of Armin. "We need to get him outta here. He's not gonna last long without proper medical attention." The only reassurance he has is that things could've gone way worse, way more disastrously, way bloodier than the real thing. If Nac didn't catch Thomas... if Mina didn't kill that Titan... if Armin was eaten...

It's at this moment that Armin blinks, the first deviation from his eerie stillness from seconds ago.

"...Eren...?"

"Armin!" he exclaims. "Are you with me?"

Armin takes in a large gulp of air, gasping and his pupils dilating. He stammers and backs away from Eren's hold like he's been burnt, incoherent syllables and babble falling from his lips. His body shakes with repressed emotion, caught between locking up its consciousness within the safety of dissociation and releasing all its tension with large, erratic movements.

Then, he wails.

Eren flinches away from the noise, pulling his hands back.

It's a sound he hasn't heard since his days on the boat drifting its uncertain way to Wall Rose. A sound he's only encountered when the refugees' shock and denial bled away into anger and despair after they've processed the permanent shift in their lives. A sound he doesn't dare make himself because it screams weakness and weakness back in the slums meant that you're easy prey; and if you're easy prey, you would've been shanked in a deserted alley and sold to corpse merchants for barely enough money to buy a stale loaf of bread.

Tears stream steadily from Armin's eyes as he grabs his hair and pulls on it like a madman, as if plucking the strands would yield the roots of all his problems.

"You useless bastard!" he yells. "Die!"

"Armin!" Eren grabs the other's hands, trying to disentangle his fingers from his hair. "Calm down, please!"

"Oh, leave it, Eren! Bet he just froze up while you guys saved him."

Eren glares at Ymir fiercely above Armin's bowed head. "Shut up! This is none of your business!"

"Look around! Both of us don't have any more time to pamper him. If he dies because he can't handle the sight of blood, then he dies."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry you guys had to deal with multiple Titans all at once, but this loser shouldn't weigh you down with his incompetence. He'll get you all killed." Her words blunt and harsh, she doesn't even try to sound the slightest bit sorry.

Lips pursed into a thin line, Eren wants to punch that emotionless expression off of her, make her understand the unavoidability of breaking down and how these moments of weakness are what makes them resilient, are what makes them stand up against oppression before their inevitable victory, are what makes them human.

Before he can open his mouth to retort, Connie beats him to it with a growl and an angry stomp in Ymir's direction. "Hey, you stupid bitch, how about I make it so you never say a damn word ever again!"

The other recruits exchange uneasy looks with one another at the rising atmosphere.

"Everyone, stop it!" Krista stands in between the opposing forces, holding her head up defiantly. "Everyone is frazzled! I mean, suddenly, a bunch of our friends are dead or at risk of dying... of course we're upset!"

A tense pause.

"That's my Krista!" Ymir proclaims. "After this mission is over, marry me!"

Indignation flares up inside Eren at the blasé way she dismisses the situation, but he swats it away because now is not the damn time. They have bigger problems to deal with. He breathes deeply through his nose, doing those calming exercises that have saved his ass more times than he can count.

"Armin, you with me?"

Armin swallows a lump in his throat, letting go of his abused hair and wiping his tears onto his wet sleeve. "Y-yeah... sorry..."

There's a brief moment of quiet where Eren waits for more, for whatever Armin has in his mind, for a hint at what's occupying his genius head, for a world-tilting discovery that'll change his perception of everything.

But his friend remains silent, stewing in his own thoughts.

With that, Eren stands and helps Armin up onto his feet. He squeezes his upper arm reassuringly before he turns to face Connie's squad.

"What's the situation?"

"Orders are to keep moving forward," one of them says, gesturing with his sword at a nearby horde.

"Have all the civilians been evacuated yet?" Mina asks nervously.

"Don't know, but it shouldn't be long before they call for a retreat."

"Where are the supply squads?" Eren taps his gas canisters. There's still plenty left despite his aggressive usage earlier, but if they're going to keep fighting and are now technically the soldiers on front lines... "Have they been sent out already?"

Connie shrugs. "No idea. We haven't encountered any."

"What about Thomas?" Nac stares at their teammate. "We can't just leave him here!"

"Someone can carry him," Mina suggests. "Take him to HQ, maybe?"

"We should just leave him," Ymir says (rather unhelpfully, might Eren add).

"Would you want us to leave you if you were knocked out?" Eren hisses, stepping forward. She raises her eyebrows at him, almost challengingly, as if daring him to fight back.

Too bad for her if she expects him to blow up, then, because he ignores whatever stupid thing she has to say in reply and focuses on the more important matter at hand (lest he do something reckless like tackle her at such an inappropriate time).

Deep breaths.

"Does anyone need spare blades? We could borrow Thomas' and use his gas if anyone runs out."

Just like that, he feels his anger wash away.

The idea of bringing Thomas to the Walls is shut down because of their limited gas and the possibility of being accused of desertion when the district's bell hasn't been rung yet. They eventually come to the collective agreement that Nac will carry Thomas until they can get somewhere safe enough (at least relatively safer than an open rooftop smack-dab in the line of fire) and get him proper medical attention.

With that hasty discussion out of the way, the two squads merge and face the Titans head-on.

Eren's eyes wander to the inner gate. They've had countless evacuation drills with the people of Trost and it's never taken this long. He expected people to move faster now that they know that what's happening is not a drill nor a joke.

'Is there some sort of hold up?'

Then again, people are panicking and there may be those stuck within their homes, or lost in alleyways, or crushed by falling debris—

Banishing those thoughts, he scolds himself to have some damn faith in the rearguard (and in Mikasa!) that it'll be over soon. Eren swallows all his unfounded fear because he needs to believe in the capabilities of the Garrison's elite and to concentrate on killing as many of these monsters as he can.

They have their jobs to do, and he has his.

Thus, he gives his undivided attention to the soon-to-be-dead Titan nearby.

Ø

Eren waves a pair of tongs to cool down the sterilized needle between its grasp. They've regrouped with the other recruits and are now perched on top of a group of tall buildings, waiting impatiently for the missing supply squads and the evacuation signal. The moment they landed near the acting safe zone, he wasted no time in popping open his pouch of medical tools and getting to work.

Soldiers typically have their own emergency first aid kits provided to them. 'But it's not like the big shots'll waste resources on a bunch of fresh meat.' His free hand curls into a fist at his own thoughts. He has to be conservative with his alcohol and medicine in case someone else gets hurt and can be saved.

They've trained for years yet the Titans still managed to get the jump and the upper hand on them.

If only they've had more time to prepare... or if the Survey Corps postponed their expedition... or if they weren't so obviously sent to be sacrificial Titan fodder without a semblance of a plan...

'Dammit!'

He bundles up a handkerchief and stuffs it between Thomas' teeth. Thomas is still unconscious, but there's always the chance of him biting his tongue off from the pain; he might need something to sink his teeth into on the chance that he wakes up disoriented and panics.

"You're seriously doing that here?" Bertholdt's panicked voice flutters through the air, colored with anxiety and fear.

"I'm not gonna let him die," Eren says firmly as he gets to work.

For the most part, Thomas remains still and knocked out, save for the occasional jerk, twitch, or spasm. Sasha and Nac obediently hold him down for safe measure, even if their own faces are slightly green at the close-up view they have of the gory procedure.

Closing the wound is a mess of blood and bits but Eren's hands don't shake in the face of detached skin and broken muscle, nor does he falter when Thomas lets out a particularly loud whimper.

All recruits know the absolute basics of treating an injury and rudimentary techniques to limit bleeding and infection (such as how to tie tourniquets and use fire to seal open wounds), but surgery—surgery is a delicate, detailed practice that has thin lines between what can mean death and permanent nerve damage and the "best" case scenario. Only the most desperate of fools would attempt to do so without proper training.

Before his dad went MIA, Grisha Jaeger taught Eren many things: how to create natural remedies born from his surroundings, cheap but effective alternatives to the expensive placebos in the shady Sina market, and the art of working alongside nature's cryptic duality.

He learned to brew the most painful poisons and to create the most soothing pastes with different parts of the same plant. He was taught pressure points and anatomy, how to tear a person apart from within and how to stitch them back together again. He witnessed many births, many deaths, and even many resurrections as patients come to appreciate their mortality and walk away from surgery with the newfound drive to live their lives to the fullest.

And Eren himself has come to understand and embrace the feeling of morbid curiosity, the strange tug towards the edge of a tall building, the fixation on the macabre and inability to look away from the face of pain and suffering and death. That's why he barely reacts to the inquisitive stares as he does his duty, why he doesn't bat an eyelash to the sound of someone retching their breakfast out when he cuts off Thomas' nerve ends, and why he's stoic at the handling of the unresponsive body parts.

Once he's finished the stitches and has cleaned the area around the sealed stump, he sits back and lets out one big huff of relief. Wherever his dad may be right now, dead or alive, Eren will always be grateful for his teachings.

The scissors and needle clatter onto the roof tiling.

"Done."

It's not his first time working on an amputation, but it certainly is his first time working on an amputation outside an infirmary or makeshift clinic. Even during his time as a refugee, he had some semblance of safety and control with his dozens of makeshift tools and concoctions to help those that could pay him the slightest bit of money in exchange for treatment.

(...Not like there were many that could.)

His tongue gains a vile taste at the thought that he might have to do this more often. Having to postpone helping someone or worse, having to leave the injured behind because the others think that they're as good as dead.

"You're a miracle worker," Sasha says, awestruck and transfixed on Thomas' peacefully rising and falling chest. Nac wordlessly touches Thomas' arm, face giving away his disbelief and amazement.

"No—not really. I'm not." Eren shakes his head and reaches for his used tools to wipe them clean. He glances from side to side at the other cadets. "Thanks for the help, Sasha, Nac. Is anyone else injured?"

Reiner crouches beside him and gives him a good ol' thump on the back. "No, but you should give yourself some more credit. Other people would've left him to die."

"'Other people' are selfish cowards, then."

A thoughtful hum. The kind that Reiner makes when he disagrees with Eren but skitters about making it too obvious and accidentally provoking his temper. "I wouldn't be so quick to—"

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

They all whip their heads around to look over in the direction of the inner gate, the ringing of the large bell echoing throughout the ruined district.

"That's the withdrawal signal," Reiner murmurs and rises to his full height.

Eren shoves his tools back into his case before stuffing it in his waist bag and getting up. "But where are the supply squads? They should've been here yesterday!" He knocks on his canisters, grimacing at the sound of its depleted contents. "Are they all really trapped in the depot?"

"Shit!" someone swears.

"What do we do?" another person hisses, both of their voices heard by all.

"...There isn't anything to do," Jean says resignedly, his voice a flat drone. "The order to evacuate finally came, but we're out of gas and unable to climb the Wall. I guess we're all dead thanks to those cowards!"

He presses a hand to his face, curling further into himself as he continues speaking. "I can understand their feelings—that they lost the will to fight—but they shouldn't have abandoned their supply mission and holed up in HQ! The Titans are gathering, so we can't get there to replenish our gas!"

"Okay, then! The only thing we can do is risk it all to kill the swarming Titans over there!" Connie exclaims. "The result's gonna be the same if we just sit around here! The Titans will be all over us here, too! And if we keep trying to pointlessly escape, it'll just waste the last bit of gas that we do have! Once our mobility is totally gone, then it really is all over!" He loudly bangs his fist against his tank to punctuate his words.

Jean uncovers his eye, staring downwards with an expression of defeat. "You're using your head for once, Connie... but do you really think we could take them on with this many troops?

"Most of the advance guard has been wiped out... who among us in the Training Corps can take command of a desperate operation like that? Well, I guess that doesn't matter, since, even with a leader, we wouldn't be able to do anything against the Titans. I bet there are three- to four-meter Titans in the supply room too. It'd be impossible to move around in those conditions."

Huh.

Something about the way Jean spoke makes Eren's heart roar in protest. The cocky asshole he'd clash against over dumb shit, argue about the pettiest things with, butt heads with when they need some sort of way to vent out their frustrations, is raising a white flag that easily? It makes his pulse race and sends a wave of anger up from the tips of his toes to the top of his head because they're gonna give up, just like that? Without even tryin'?

Without realizing it, he's already walking towards the roof Jean's on, mind dead set on his next move.

All the fight leaves Connie and his shoulders drop down then and there. He takes a shaky step back, no sign of his previous bravado. "...No way. You think...?"

A long, tired sigh from Jean. "It was a boring life. I guess if it's gonna end like this... I might as well as say—"

"What, you're giving up?"

Eren strides towards them with a purpose and stops on the house across Jean, who tilts his head up curiously.

"Where the fuck is the Jean Kirschtein I know? The one that yammers on about his beliefs and hopes and dreams even if no one gives a shit? The one that talks big and serves on what he promises? You wanted to join the goddamn cops so badly that you worked your ass off just to get into the top ten. Where did that big shot go?"

"I—" Jean gapes at him, crossed between bewilderment and his reflexive urge to verbally fight back.

"Listen up, all of you!" Eren addresses the other trainees, stomping his foot down with a loud bang. If it's a motivational speech they need, then it's motivational speech they'll fucking get. "You heard what Connie said. If we sit here, we're nothing but a fuckin' feast for the Titans!

"Maybe you joined the military for food, for safety, or for glory. The thing is that there's somethin' that kept you goin' for three years of training! We trained for this! You still have gas, still have swords, still have the privilege of survivin' until now!"

He points at headquarters and makes eye contact with every single comrade he sees, daring them to say a word. "There's always a choice, always a chance at livin' to see another day. The choice we have right now is rotting at the bottom of a Titan's stomach or advancing and taking down as many as we can!"

When he notices some of them nodding along, others lifting their heads up, and a few even getting up, he plows on.

"You have something to live for, to fight for! Your family, your friends, your future, yourselves. Will you let go of this chance when it's blindingly close to your face? Will you let our fallen comrades' sacrifices be in vain? Will you allow yourself to give up so easily?"

Sasha shakes her head. Armin and Floch straighten their backs. Marco drops his hands onto his holsters. Mina grins. Reiner and Bertholdt exchange looks. Jean stands up.

"Either you lie down, die, and accept the grim reality of this world, or you fight, survive, and take the chance at changin' it for the better!" Eren draws a sword and raises it up towards the sky. "So what'll it be, 104th Southern Division? Will we fight or will we die?"

"We'll fight!" a few of them yell.

He meets Jean's wide eyes and repeats his question, not breaking his gaze and silently egging him on. "Will we fight or will we die?"

"We'll fight!" Jean's voice joins the rest. Good.

"WILL WE FIGHT OR WILL WE DIE?"

"WE'LL FIGHT!"

"THEN GET UP!" He spins around slowly, making sure his voice is heard by everyone. "Check your gas, count your blades, because we need to preserve them as much as possible! Loot nearby corpses if you have to! Get ready to charge!"

"UNDERSTOOD!"

Affirmatives of varying volumes follow his words. The trainees scramble to prepare themselves, psyching themselves and each other up for what might very well be their last mission. Some let out their own colorful expletives towards the sky, others make half-hearted jokes to ease their nerves, and the rest cling onto the hope of making it to the supply depot safely.

In Eren's mind, however, lingers the one question everyone seems to be ignoring:

'What if the Armored Titan shows up?'

He sincerely hopes the Garrison does have a plan to kill it. Armin mentioned earlier the rock they stationed near the Wall, so maybe they're gearing up to move it with a new fancy machine?

...If he'll be honest, that sounds too good to be true, even for him.

Is the massive boulder going to be any use if the Armored can break through it?

How long did it take for that Titan to break down the inner Shiganshina gate anyway? He was already on a boat, being shipped off to Rose when it crashed into Wall Maria and was blocked from his view by the rows of homes. As much as Eren wants to charge at it if it does decide to show its ugly face again, he needs some semblance of a plan.

"That was some speech, Eren."

Mina's teasing remark snaps him out of his thoughts. He blinks rapidly and brings his head up to where she's standing alongside his other friends. Whatever lingering worries he has left about the Armored Titan are quickly shoved into a corner of his mind. Bringing it up now might just weigh their shaky morale down six feet under, and luckily the damn thing hasn't decided to make its grand reappearance yet.

"It'd be a waste if we just waited here to die," he tells her. "Everyone just needed a little push not to waste this opportunity."

"Still, I honestly believed that we're all done for," Marco admits, his voice unsteady.

"I'd probably follow you off a cliff if you make another speech like that," Connie says jokingly.

Eren shakes his head. "I'm not exactly leader material though..."

Thud!

"Mikasa?" Nac startles, doing a double take at her appearance.

Connie gapes as if her appearance is some sort of sign from the heavens that their charge to the depot won't end too badly. He chokes out, "I thought you were with the rearguard—?"

She pays the two of them no mind, sheathing her blades and marching through the crowd of stunned cadets.

"Eren!"

He straightens his back. "Mikasa? What're you doin' here?"

'She had the chance to get over the wall to safety! She had the chance to wait for us there! She's putting herself in danger!'

Mikasa stops in front of him, subtle lines of stress marring her otherwise stoic face. Her sharp eyes scan his entire figure, checking that his limbs are still attached and that his body is mostly unscathed. "The populace finished evacuating. I wanted to make sure that you're safe."

Automatically, he goes to rebuke her with an, "I don't need—"

"—Perfect timing, Mikasa!" Connie blurts out, stopping Eren before he can argue that he can take care of himself perfectly fine, thank you very much. He shoots Eren an imploring look to calm the fuck down. "Most of us are low on gas, but we can escape over the Wall if we make it to HQ!"

Eren swallows his annoyance. "Yeah, what Connie said. We'll need people at the front to carve a path through the Titans, d'ya think you can?"

"I'm strong." Mikasa holds her head high. "I can do it."

"I can take vanguard too!" Sasha volunteers.

Jean steadies his trembling hands as he draws a new pair of blades.

"...Maria, Rose, and motherfucking Sina." His expression hardens and he points at Eren then to himself. "Fuck it. You win this round, Suicidal Bastard, because I'm in too."

"Okay, well..." Eren gestures to the other cadets. Can they not tell that he isn't completely sure on what the fuck he's doing? He hopes he gets across his need for strategic support. "...Is there anything else everyone needs to know so we can all survive? Any suggestions on, uh, formations? Armin?"

His friend hovering at the back startles at being called, clearing his throat nervously when the top trainees of their year turn to him for guidance. "Uh, we should stick—stick to the roofs and only use gas when necessary. Avoid Titans as much as possible, even if it means taking a bit of a longer route to HQ. Stick to small groups so the Titans don't know who to snatch. Carry the wounded and remove the gear of those without any more gas."

Armin hesitantly glances at Mikasa's gear, then to her face. She gives him an encouraging nod.

"...A-and I think Mikasa should take Thomas' canisters if she's running low, his is still mostly full."

"What should we do about the Titans at HQ, though?" Marco asks.

"Some of us'll need to distract them, lure them away and kill them ASAP," Jean says thoughtfully. "Stop them from getting into the supply depot. If they've been pawing at that building this entire time, there might be a few three- and four-meters that slipped inside."

"I can lure them away, blow my whistle at them to get their attention so you guys can go for the kill," Eren offers.

Mikasa shakes her head. "I can do it so you can refuel."

"You'll need back-up." He frowns.

"I agree that Eren should get more gas first, or else you might run out mid-air. There still might be abandoned or unused gear from the supply squads," Jean points out. His expression then twists in disdain at the mention of the other cadets that basically left them for dead. Eren has a good feeling that someone is about to get their ass kicked and face punched in. "Or you could borrow from whoever has the most gas left."

"Well, who'd have thought..." Reiner muses aloud.

'Who'd have thought Jean could be a great leader on the fly, huh?'

Sasha summarizes the conversation with, "So we charge at the depot, Eren and Mikasa lure as many Titans outside as possible as a distraction, we kill any and all Titans in the storage room, get our supplies, then leave?"

"It sounds so simple when you put it that way, Sasha..." Groaning, Jean massages his forehead. "But that's about the gist of it... is every one of us down?"

They all nod.

"There'll be a lot of pressure on you two," Jean addresses Eren and Mikasa. "Can you do it?"

They both nod, and he continues after a moment of consideration.

"Alright. I trust you both. Eren, think you... think you can assemble and inspire everyone with your preachy words again?"

The fact that Jean used his first name instead of Jaeger twice in this conversation doesn't slip by his notice, but he doesn't bring attention to it, instead choosing to bask in the strange feeling of warmth in his chest. Eren nods, squaring his shoulders.

"Of course."

Ø

'Move. Move! MOVE!'

Slicing off a Titan's sticky fingers and diving under another's flailing arm, Eren risks a glance to the cadets behind him. He's not that hopeful that they'll all make it to the supply depot, but he can't help but worry for them either way.

"HURRY! FOLLOW EREN AND MIKASA!" he hears Jean holler. "Anyway, let's make this a short, decisive battle! And get to headquarters before our gas runs out!"

Eren lets Jean do his thing and focuses on detaching a stray elbow. He kills another one whose nape is wide open and keeps moving, jumping, running along the rooftops.

The supply depot is still too far away and plenty of Titans are starting to get attracted to the flock of exposed cadets doing a mad dash towards it. His blades continue to steam from the never-ending supply of Titan blood and he had to change into a new pair when they dulled after taking down a particularly annoying Abnormal.

He clenches his jaw, fighting off the wave of exhaustion looming above him. His body threatens to give out, cave in and crumble under the pressure of staying alive. But he has to keep going, has to keep persevering, has to keep fighting because giving up is giving in to fear and allowing himself to be enslaved to the status quo.

"Fuck."

Eren gets a clearer view of their destination up ahead. Sweat trickles down his forehead and clothed back at the sheer volume of Titans surrounding it.

The supply depot is swarming with them, the mindless monsters congregating around its perimeter and squeezing the building between their warped, oversized bodies. Windows are shattered and pieces of its once glorious stone walls crumble underneath the Titans' ministrations as they search for the humans trapped inside.

"WAAAH!"

He skids to a stop and Mikasa does too, sharply glancing back and searching for the source of the screaming. One of the cadets has fallen onto the ground, his hooks still anchored onto a building and propeller coughing up measle amounts of gas. Eren doesn't have enough time to react, too far to intervene as the nearby Titans zero in on Tom, a short and speedy one picking him up like a toy.

"Tom! We're comin' to get ya, buddy!"

"DON'T!" Jean warns the other trainees, "It's too late—!"

Squelch!

Smash!

Tom's head gets bitten off, and his friend gets snatched mid-air in his doomed attempt to rescue him. Another girl gets caught in the fray; her arms spread out by two different Titans whose jaws are wide open to feast upon their captured prey. Her screams for mercy are heard but go unanswered. Soon, a tall, lumbering Titan comes close too, crouching and pilfering his share of human flesh.

Mikasa has a tight grip on Eren's sleeve, tugging on it insistently when he sways forward to help them. He isn't close to Tom or any of his friends, but that doesn't mean that they deserve to die. Eren growls under his breath, directing his glare at his tanks.

The surrounding recruits can only stare at the horrifying sight, perhaps visualizing themselves as the ones unfortunate enough to get caught in a gear malfunction. They're trapped within their own transfixion, cycling between being grateful that they're not the ones getting eaten, feeling guilty that they are grateful, and regretting not doing anything at all.

"NOW!"

Of all people, it's Jean who gets his ass back into gear first, snapping out of his daze and calling upon the others to follow suit.

"Head straight for HQ while the Titans are occupied over there! Now or never! Either way... if we run out of gas, it's over!"

He runs forward, jumping off a roof.

"Everyone, charge!"

The other delirious cadets stare at one another and continue moving too, following his example to maneuver through the other giants.

It takes another insistent pull from Mikasa for Eren to look at her and away from the bloodbath. He nods stiffly, setting aside the guilt and self-blame for later, and they too keep advancing.

As he puts down another Titan in his path, he becomes hyperaware of the way his heart collides roughly with his ribcage when a Titan swats its hand a hairsbreadth too close to him, the way he simply knows through honed instincts to spiral through the air to avoid a lanky limb, and the way the sword hilts feel rough and hot and realin his aching hands.

Is it bad of him to think of the feeling of battle as... liberating? Is that the proper word? It gives him a sense of purpose, in a way. It's as if he was born for the battlefield, to push against their enemies and thrive in victory of any scale.

There's destruction and noise and chaos around him, but what else is there to do besides keep pushing? Keep fighting? Keep surviving?

Tom's death won't be in vain. The countless soldier, recruit, and even civilian casualties won't be in vain. The deaths of the nameless people that have laid down their lives or had theirs stolen will not be in vain. Not if he can help it. He swears, promises, vows to hold the memory of the fallen's sacrifices in his heart.

Either Eren will live to see the Titans' total annihilation, or he'll die a martyr for it.

Headquarters is steadily coming closer and closer but his tanks are on the verge of giving up, even if there are still plenty more Titans left to kill. His propellers' whizzing quiet down as he utilizes his momentum to accelerate further. Eren sets himself on getting a new set of canisters fast.

Mikasa shoots off from his side to slay a few more, putting Thomas' gas to good use as she soars to take down two Titans in one fell swoop.

He aims himself towards a window, curling into a ball and shielding his face.

SMASH!

His lower legs take the brunt of the impact. The glass shatters around him and he does a roll as he lands inside the room.

'Goddess above, I made it!'

Eren unloads his empty canisters immediately, standing up and scanning the empty office as the other trainees come crashing through the other windows.

Rows upon rows of empty desks... Bookshelves... Office supplies...

No signs of any abandoned gear. He prays someone else has a usable amount of gas left.

"E-Eren, take my tanks!" Mylius stumbles towards him. "They're around less than half-full, I got them from—"

He cuts himself off with an awkward noise, head bowed and concentrating on dislodging the two tanks. I got them from a corpse is probably what he intended to say, and Eren understands his reluctance to say it out loud.

Eren thanks his teammate and taps on the given canisters, finding what might be enough to attract and kill a fair number of Titans out there. He distantly hears Jean shouting at someone for being a coward—presumably a member of the supply squad—and braces himself to leave. The others have this handled.

His blades and gear at the ready, Eren charges towards a window and jumps through it.

Ø

He finds Mikasa pretty easily, her body a graceful whirlwind of deadly steel against the Titans that dare come close to her blades. Eren slices through a thirteen-meter's weak spot and meets up with her on a nearby roof.

"Mikasa, I'm gonna try an' lure 'em here. While they're distracted with me, bump off as many as you can. Got it?" She nods. "I bet the others don't have any gas left, so we might be on our own here. Are you still good?"

"Yes, and I won't let any of them near you," Mikasa declares.

"Alright, I trust you on that," Eren says. If he can trust her to do one thing, it's being a badass; even if her prodigal skills admittedly make him a bit... envious at times.

She gets into position on a roof a bit further away, crossing her swords to signal that she's ready when he is.

Okay.

He just has to make himself more appealing for these oversized monsters than the people barricaded inside the supply depot. He just has to find a way to distract them while not accidentally summoning an army towards their location. He just has to not die while doing so.

Sounds easy enough.

He cups his mouth with a hand.

"OVER HERE, YOU FUCKIN' TITANS!"

Some of the short ones come waddling under the tower he's on, and a few of the tall blind ones do too at the sound of his voice.

Eren digs into his pocket and takes out his issued whistle. The tiny wooden things are typically nothing but distractions when you have to listen and coordinate with teammates. Despite that, they're a great diversion when attracting Titans is a necessary evil.

He puts it to his mouth and blows.

A sharp, high-pitched sound pierces through the air.

Not loud enough to summon every Titan within this goddess-forsaken district, of course, but just enough to call a few more of the ones crowding the depot. Mikasa takes down a few of the disobedient strays, waiting on standby for the perfect moment to get the rest of these lumbering beasts. She looks cautiously at him, not appearing the slightest bit haggard after all the fighting she's been doing.

Eren breathes in again, willing the rest of these animals to notice him so Mikasa and him can kill them all and get this over with, pretty fucking please. He pockets the whistle to scream at them again.

'Please work.'

"TITANS! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HQ! COME HERE!"

A chill runs up his spine, tingling sparks igniting his bloodstream and making the hair on his arms stand up in attention. The Titans crowding around headquarters turn to him, their eyes gaining an eerie look to them, almost glowing amidst the smoke of the surrounding steaming corpses.

'Holy fucking breach of Wall Maria.'

The Titans rush to the tower he's on top of, clamoring on top of each other to get there the fastest, and Eren jumps off like someone set his ass on fire because the structure is not going to last long under their assault and not even he is stupid enough to stand around like an idiot.

Mikasa and him waste no time in disposing the Titans while they're distracted. They cut off limbs and slash through napes like it's nobody's business; and the Titans barely react as their bodies slam into buildings, shaking with mismatched body coordination and ending up collapsing atop one another. The monsters topple over like frail domino pieces against harsh winds, having a difficult time in focusing on the two humans quickly cutting down their numbers.

A part of him wonders why they're so pliant under his and Mikasa's assault, why their hands twitch and jerk as if having second thoughts to reach for them, why they stand almost as still as clay sculptures meant for display, but he supposes that all Titans display aberrant behavior one way or another.

There's still a lot that they don't know about those monstrous beasts, after all.

Eren takes down one last Titan before it can ram into the supply depot. He presses his back against the stone wall he's dangling from, panting heavily from the exertion and eyes watering from the lingering steam. His entire back is drenched in sweat, the chilly Trost weather doing nothing to combat its sweltering temperature.

"Did we get all of 'em?"

"I think so," Mikasa answers loudly. She looks over their surroundings from the top of a building. "Most of the big ones are too far away, none of them are heading here."

He opens his mouth to speak but what comes out instead is a choked noise when his vision suddenly blacks out. His head spins from a sudden onslaught of dizziness at the too-bright light. Eren slaps a hand over his eyes, massaging his eyelids and forehead in an attempt to regain his bearings. His ears ring lightly, head light and blood draining from his face.

"...Eren?"

Biting back a creative curse, he uncovers his eyes to see that Mikasa has anchored herself near him and is staring at him worriedly.

Suddenly, the world isn't as overwhelming as it was a few seconds ago, the colors of their surroundings no longer blinding, the sound of the gentle wind no longer roaring, and the weight of the sun no longer overbearing.

He forces himself to relax.

"Sorry." Eren shakes off her concern. "I'm fine, Mikasa. Let's head back already."

They reenter the headquarters' offices, but only after Mikasa gives him a dubious look that tells him she is not buying into his flimsy lie.

Thankfully, though, she doesn't push as hard as he expected her to. He zips in through a broken window with her in tow, landing on the piles of scattered papers.

The sound of turning mechanisms, chains grinding and scraping against the walls, echo through the deserted corridor of the depot. The two of them walk towards the source of the hushed chatter, down the main stairwell where they find everyone assembled.

There's an extremely pungent smell of burned wood and metal in the air, and Eren's eyebrows rise up when he realizes what exactly they're doing.

"Guns?"

He blinks, a touch bit incredulous and curious as to how exactly they'll fight off the remaining Titans with dusty MP bean-shooters. He surreptitiously wipes his clammy hands on his pants, fingers tingling uncomfortably at the movement.

Amidst the recruits stabbing gunpowder with their ramrods into the muskets, Armin and the other members of the top ten are huddled together. Eren's too far away to hear and see what Armin's telling the others so anxiously, so he mumbles a few excuse me's as he makes his way over there.

"...The seven people with the most athletic ability probably have the best chance of striking home, so they'll do the job..."

"Mikasa! Eren!"

The first one to sense their presence, Sasha's eyes brighten amidst the dim candlelight. She waves enthusiastically, her whisper-yelling catching the others' attention.

Marco turns to them too, smiling in relief. "You two are alright."

Mikasa nods affirmatively before reporting, "There aren't many other Titans left nearby, but I think some teams should be on lookout in case an Abnormal or a horde comes near."

A pause.

Jean scoffs, startling them.

"Let me," he says impatiently.

Without waiting around to see the shocked looks of his friends, Jean stands up straight and calls for everyone's attention with one loud clap. Some of them flinch at the sudden noise.

Complete silence.

"Does anyone still have gas in their tanks? Mikasa and Eren have wiped most of the Titans out, but better safe than sorry. We need people to guard the perimeter. Groups of two, back-to-back, stationed around the roof and wherever the hole to the supply room is."

There's an air of fear and apprehension at having to go outside again, but a brave few eventually come forward to volunteer.

Eren tries not to make his staring obvious, genuinely amazed at how Jean takes up the leadership role so wellas he sends off the chosen cadets with wishes of good luck and good skill. Jean didn't have to think twice to take the initiative.

Meanwhile, Mikasa kneels down to get a good view of the schematics Armin has laid out.

She patiently inquires, "What's your plan for the supply room?"

Your plan and not their and not the because Armin deserves all the credit for whatever genius plan his mind concocted on the fucking fly.

"U-um... first of all, I'm sorry because, as I said, the seven most athletic people here have to bear the burden of everyone's lives on their shoulders..."

"No problem," Reiner reassures.

"The risk's the same no matter who does it. If one fails, everyone dies," Annie states matter-of-factly.

"Go ahead, Armin," Eren says.

Armin shifts in place, visibly in disbelief of and unused to such encouragement. "...Well, as you can see, we have these blueprints and these old MP rifles." He gestures to the detailed illustrations of the rafters and then to the guns the other cadets are loading up.

"The idea is for the seven most adept and agile of us to kill the seven three- to four-meters in the storage room..."

Trying to visualize himself and the location, Eren listens attentively as Armin reiterates his brilliant strategy. The conveyor beams are wide enough for one person to run across but it'll be a balancing test to get into positions quickly before more Titans come pouring in and another challenge to jump off at the right position to strike the monsters' vital spots.

He then glances down on his hands and wonders why in Maria's name are they shaking.

Opening and closing his right hand, Eren turns his palms over. Restlessly, he shifts his body weight between his two feet. The cotton of his shirt is soft between his fingers when he pulls on it, the air simultaneously freezing cold and scorching hot inside his lungs when he breathes in. He almost expects to see a small vapor cloud escape from between his lips when he breathes out.

Mikasa tilts her head back at him questioningly and Eren stills in his fidgeting. He plays it off as excitement catching up to him, pointedly avoiding meeting her gaze before she blows his behavior out of proportion. He crosses his arms, stands up straight, and rhythmically taps on his elbows, jaw clenching at the peculiar urge to yawn at such an inappropriate time.

"We've gotta go with it. There isn't... to... thing else..."

He cocks his head, pressing his lips together to mentally capture Marco's words within his grasp. They flutter from between his figurative fingertips, the parts he doesmanage to catch are incomprehensible and almost like gibberish to him.

His sense of hearing flickers and his ears strain to pay attention, to comprehend, to go over what he needs to do because they're counting on him, and—

"...think we're all tapped... of ideas. So we just need to... selves... one... heart... and..."

—It becomes quiet.

Eren lets out a gasp.

His knees buckle under his weight.

The world turns sideways.

Thump!

"Eren!"

"Oi!"

"Holy shit!"

"Is he okay?"

His back collides with the hard floor, a pained groan escaping his lips. Everything goes dark and bright and dark and bright. He shields his eyes with one hand again and winces at the burning heat.

'Why am I so tired?'

He's done way more during training and Shadis' sadistic obstacle courses, so what gives? Strong hands nudge him, gently coaxing him to move somewhere. Eren bats them away with his other arm and tries to sit up despite his shaking legs and aching abdomen.

"Fuck—sorry, guys, I still can... still can—"

"Don't be stupid, Jaeger," Jean's says hotly from somewhere far far away as Eren is pushed back and his head is laid on something soft. "Calm the fuck down before you kill yourself."

"...So we're back to Jaeger now?" Eren asks breezily.

There's light snickering politely disguised as a cough and the sound of a person getting kicked roughly.

"Is he hurt?" Sasha asks, concerned.

He wants to reply with a firm No but what comes out of his lips is a pathetic whimper. He shakes his head instead to pacify the others.

"'m fine..."

Fingers lightly nudge around his body nonetheless, searching for any hidden wounds like he's too stupid to treat himself.

"You should sit this one out," Reiner's comforting voice insists. "We've got this, you've done enough already."

Eren stiffens at the prospect of sitting prettily while the others risk their lives, weakly fighting back against the people insistently tugging off his jacket and taking off his scabbards.

No way is he letting the others do this without him because one of them could miss or get hurt or get eaten—

"Eren, please," Armin pleads.

Whether he halts consciously or instinctively is lost to him, because what matters is that he eventually stops struggling.

See, Eren trusts his friend and his judgment implicitly. He does, in fact, have the capability to know when it's time to pick his battles and count his losses. He knows when to bow his head to a high-ranking soldier, when to summon his patience to find an enemy's weakness, and when to preserve his strength for a future attack.

Biting his tongue before it could say something stupid, he internally scolds himself because he'll be a burden to the others if he fucking misfires or doesn't kill his Titan because of a dizzy spell.

He willingly surrenders, allowing himself to be laid again on the ground, with a displeased but begrudgingly accepting grunt.

"Good luck..." he grumbles, then raises his hoarse voice to make sure they all can fucking hear him. "...And don't die. Assholes."

Someone laughs.

"Yep. Eren's definitely uninjured," Connie sounds amused.

More shuffling and footsteps around him. A person offers to watch over him to placate a fussy Mikasa.

There's the rumbling of the lift as a cadet yells that it's ready, and another confirms that their guns are locked and loaded.

Armin says something to him that he doesn't understand but that's okay because his voice is a soothing presence either way, lulling Eren into a state of wary rest. There's a vow that they'll be back, and a light jab at him for being so eager to run towards and work himself to death.

With his friends and comrades leaving to take down the remaining Titans, Eren huddles into himself and surrenders to the temptation to indulge in some blissful rest.

Ø

Eren wakes up on his own accord, ears picking up on the distant whoops and excited cheers of the others. 'Looks like Armin's plan's a success'—not that he doubted his friend at all, obviously. He stretches a few knots in his neck and joints, groggily opening his eyes and sitting up.

A power nap truly does wonders to the body.

"Rise and shine!"

He focuses on Mina, who's coming towards him with an extra pair of canisters. "How's everyone?"

"Armin's plan was a success!" Mina grins with contagious joy before it quickly melts off into concern. "How are you, though? You scared us there for a moment, falling over like a sack of potatoes..."

"I'm feelin' better. Just overfatigue."

"Okay, well... Don't push yourself so hard again, alright? You can't rise up the Survey Corps ranks if you're dead!"

"I'm not gonna die that easily." Eren rolls his eyes. He straightens his spine and stretches his arms. Nice to see that headquarters is still standing and has not been reduced into a pile of rubble while he was off catching Z's.

"I'll hold you accountable for that! I'm going to tell Mikasa that you're awake. You better put on your gear so we can hurry and scale the Wall."

Mina takes off after he nods, descending down into the supply room to look for the other girl and leaving Eren alone in the stairwell.

He weighs the tanks in his hands, pleased at their full contents. Standing up on wobbly legs, he works quickly to reattach his scabbards to his thighs and connect the refilled gas to his propellers. A quick button press is enough to confirm its working status. He pats down his gear, medicine pouch, and harness straps to check for any last-minute changes or fixes.

When he finds none, Eren ascends the stairs to reach the offices.

'Better get moving.'

He jumps out a window and shoots himself upwards to get a good view of their area. He lands on a terrace, hearing the other trainees behind him heading straight for the Wall.

Disintegrating skeletons lie all over the streets and steam rises from the Titans' decaying bodies. There doesn't seem to be any other live Titan in the headquarters' vicinity, which should be reassuring but worries him instead. Eren peeks over the parapet and gazes all around the district and towards the breach.

'Is this the calm before the storm? I should be happy that we got gas, should be headin' back to Rose but so what if we hold off the invasion? We can fight back and kill these regular Titans all we want but...'

"...What do we do if the Armored Titan showed up?" he asks out loud, directing his question to the owner of the footsteps behind him.

"Pray for a miracle."

Eren turns to face a grim-looking Bertholdt and tilts his head.

"Think we can kill it?"

Bertholdt shakes his head. "You might get killed."

'But I survived facing the Colossal!' Eren almost says, before quickly reconsidering it. This is Bertholdt he's talking to. The background-hovering worrier and empath despite his outward nervousness and shyness. Older brother figure that's silently there when you need a comforting presence. He might just get a heart attack right then and there if Eren brings up his encounter with the sixty-meter.

"...Were we seriously not given any instructions on what to do if it comes?" To be quite honest, the assembly with the Garrison was mostly a haze of panicked yelling and crying in Eren's mind. They were grouped together on a whim, given their positions, then dropped onto the battlefield with the orders to lay down their lives if they have to. Nothing else. Not a single mention of the two mysterious Titans that tore down the Walls as if they're made of wet paper.

"No, but didn't—didn't the Garrison say even cannons were useless against it?"

Pause.

"...You've a point," Eren begrudgingly concedes to that fact.

Who knows what else that Armored bastard could have up its sleeve? The Colossal's steam can probably turn him to crisp if he's exposed to it for too long, and the damn enormous thing somehow vanished into thin air before he could kill it.

"Eren... during the assembly, some people said you—you went on your own after the Colossal." At Eren's slow confirming nod, Bertholdt says, "Please don't... don't go after the Armored too."

Eren frowns, turning towards the direction of the inner gate.

"I can't—"

Bertholdt wraps his fingers around Eren's wrist before he could react, squeezing it pleadingly. Had it been anyone else that did that—an enemy, someone not as close to him, a stranger—Eren would've shanked him. "Promise me, Eren. Look out for yourself for once. Don't be a hero."

"I'm not a hero," he denies, gently pulling his hand back. "I'm a soldier."

"Still...!" the elder insists, waving his hands to articulate his frustration. "Don't throw away your life for your own self-righteousness!"

"Huh? It's not self-righteousness, only my duty. Either I kill it or die trying. It's what we've trained for, isn't it?"

"That's the point, you could die—"

"Everyone can die if I don't—"

"Then I'll go with you!" Bertholdt announces.

Eren splutters at that, alarmed. "Wait—you don't have to—!" He almost chokes on his own spit. The elder shouldn't risk his life because of something that Eren wants to do for him and the others. The Armored Titan is dangerous and who's to say that Bertholdt wouldn't get hurt (or killed, a traitorously pessimistic part of his mind whispers) in the process?

"So? Do you have a plan?" Bertholdt raises an eyebrow at him, hand sticking a sword hilt into a blade.

This gets Eren's gears spinning and mouth running. No, he doesn't have a damn plan yet but surely the Titan has a weakness that they haven't discovered yet. All Titans die when their napes are struck, right? One meter by ten centimeters. While it's busy preparing to charge at the Wall, he can sneak up behind it to strike. The big thing might need a build-up to gain speed and move around.

Eren goes to stop Bertholdt, reaching for his elbow while saying, "Yeah, but you shouldn't—"

His stomach twists itself into knots.

The world shifts.

And, suddenly, he's staring up at the sky.

His vision is unsteady, steam clouding much of his sight. He's groggy from blood loss and unsure of where he is. His consciousness wavers as he lies sprawled atop a roof. It simultaneously feels like he's in a dream but also not like he's in a dream.

Steam rises around him and he's vaguely aware of the sound of cracking wood near him. He looks up to the source of the noise.

Awareness hits him. He flails around, unable to get away as a Titan claws the rooftop to get to its prize.

He stutters, his pleading for mercy coming out as incoherent garbles, panic setting in when its large hand grabs his torso and lifts him up. He screams his throat sore as it brings him closer to its mouth.

That's when he spots a group of people at a nearby rooftop.

"HEY!" he cries out. "All of you! SAVE ME!"

None of them move to save him, all of them instead watching the Titan with wide eyes, all of them unmoving and frozen in their places.

"Ah..." Tears leak from his eyes because he then remembers that the people over there are not his friends. Not anymore.

He can do nothing else but cry out.

"ANNIIIE! REINEEER!"

His view of the world goes sideways as the Titan places him in between its large rows of teeth. Pressure builds up on either side of his head as it bites down and his heart stutters because he doesn't want to die please please plea—

"—ren? Eren!"

Eren wakes up.

Snapping his eyes open, he finds himself facing Bertholdt's wide ones. Firm hands hold him up and support much of his weight. It takes more time than he likes to get blood circulating in his legs again. Eren unconsciously leans into Bertholdt's support as he regains his bearings.

'What the fuck was that?'

Inhale. Exhale.

In. Out.

"Eren, are you with me?"

He pulls himself from his friend's chest, breathing through his mouth to rectify his sudden breathlessness. Bertholdt hesitantly lets him go after he bats his hands away.

"I'm fine," Eren answers. He can't find it in himself to look at Bertholdt in the eye after... whatever it is he just saw. He's used to strange dreams, but not when he's wide awake. "Just needed a breather."

"Right..." Bertholdt says, clearly not buying into his bullshit.

They both straighten up at the sound of someone else landing on the terrace.

Mikasa nods as a greeting to Bertholdt, her dark scarf billowing in the wind. She has two new blades drawn, body rigid and ready for battle once more. "Eren, are you ready to go?"

"I mean, yeah, I am, but—"

"Eren had another fainting episode," Bertholdt snitches.

Three things happen at once:

Eren turns to the elder, betrayed. Mikasa turns to him, serious. Bertholdt turns to the side, avoidant.

"Bertholdt!" Eren hisses.

"We're going to the Wall. Now," Mikasa says in a voice that leaves no room for arguments. She marches over to grab his arm, but he fights to wrench it away from her grasp.

As if he didn't already get Eren into enough trouble, Bertholdt reveals more dirt on him, "Eren wants to fight the Armored Titan. Alone."

The emphasis on alone has Mikasa narrowing her eyes.

"No."

"Mikasa—"

"Eren, you've collapsed twice already! You're in no condition to fight anymore, especially against the Armored Titan."

"I can handle it, I'm fine! I rested while you guys took back the supply room—"

"But you didn't rest enough—"

"I think," Reiner interjects, casually walking towards them with lighthearted swagger, "we should all head for the Wall. Listen." He gives Eren a look that makes him shut his mouth before it could catch flies.

"What if you faint while fighting a Titan? Or disassociate mid-battle? What about if the Armored doesn't show up? Think about it, Eren. Maybe the Garrison is gearing up their cannons and elite squad for the worst-case scenario right at this moment. They might need our help."

Eren is silent as he mulls over this. He has to admit that Reiner is making a lot of sense. Mikasa shoots Reiner a look of eternal gratefulness while he's busy thinking it over.

Realizing that he's fighting a losing battle, Eren sighs and backs down.

"...Okay, fine. Has everyone already left, though?"

"Mina, Annie, and I were helping a few others fix their busted gear, but I think most of the others made it to the Wall," Reiner replies.

"What about the injured? And you guys?" Eren asks.

"We'll follow once everyone's gone," Bertholdt answers, fingering the triggers of his sword hilts. "Thomas was... was still unconscious when Nac and, uh, Mylius carried him away."

As Eren absorbs this information, Mikasa pulls on his elbow.

"We've wasted enough time, we should go."

He nods at her in acknowledgement.

"See you guys there," Eren bids to Reiner and Bertholdt before he and Mikasa walk away. "Don't die, you two."

Both of the older boys nod, Reiner raising a hand as a gesture of goodbye. Eren will hold both of them on their word and trust in their abilities since they're the second and third of their division, for Maria's sake.

Those two never make promises they never keep, whether it be offering an alibi when someone sneaks into the city to smuggle contraband alcohol, sharing their rations after losing a bet, or performing a dare to streak across the training grounds at midnight.

Anchoring himself to a tall building, he propels himself towards the Wall.

Ø

He and Mikasa don't encounter many Titans on their way back to the inner gate. Their route towards the Wall is mostly silent, broken only by sounds of gas emission, reattaching their hooks, and the occasional breaking off to kill an unavoidable Titan. Eren spots a group of trainees ahead of them that are enthusiastically zooming past Titans towards safety.

As they get closer to Wall Rose, Eren can see small dots atop the Wall. 'Garrison soldiers,' he realizes, 'they're waiting for any survivors.' If he wasn't holding on to his swords, his hands would've clenched into tight fists because why didn't they help the stranded cadets? Did they truly expect none of them to survive?

Mikasa side-eyes him, likely formulating her own plans to kidnap him and Armin into a remote village far away from the Titans if their worst fears come true. It's not like he doubts that she might be able to pull it off, it's just that the thought of leaving everyone else behind to fend off the monsters makes his tongue go dry. He may want to explore the world, but he's not a coward willing to leave others to do the dirty work when he's very much capable himself.

Eren looks back at the supply depot, the building now obscured by the many tall homes and houses. Goosebumps prickle against his skin underneath his jacket, and he mindlessly runs a hand over his arm. He shivers at the foreboding feeling when he's temporarily blinded by a bright light.

A large crack of yellow lightning sears through the sky.

Then—

BOOM!

He's flung through the air as a shockwave spreads outward from where the strike met the earth. The resounding crack is followed by lingering pulses of static energy. Blood rushes to and from his head as he tumbles through the air, hooks forcibly detached from the buildings. The harsh gusts of wind bring debris along with it, bits of stone and wood crashing and tearing into surrounding buildings.

It's the same as what he experienced earlier while on maintenance duty and what he experienced five years ago in Shiganshina. Except on a more destructive scale.

The smell of burning wax.

A flash of colored lightning.

A devastating explosion.

'The Armored Titan is here.'

"EREN!"

Mikasa comes out of the obscuring smoke, tackling him downwards and away from the flying rocks. He grips her tightly with one arm and forcibly presses down on his triggers with his other hand.

With his back towards the explosion, the two of them are pulled to the side by his hooks, further away from the main blast point.

"SHIT—! Hold on!"

Their momentum slows down as Mikasa activates her gas to counteract their fall. Still, it isn't enough against the waves of merciless wind and they collide roughly with the houses, smashing against the tiling as Eren hugs her and they roll across the roofs.

Crash!

Dust particles come flying, forming dirty eye-watering clouds. They come to a halt a good distance away from the gate, sprawled on a rooftop and dazed from the impact. Eren heaves from the spike of adrenaline and panic ensnaring his heart in its grasp. He pushes himself higher upon the roof and sits up, having taken the brunt of the impact.

His chest and sides ache, likely starting to bruise. He draws a finger across his ribs. And winces. He hopes they're bruised and not broken because that will be an utter bitch to heal. His breathing is even, and his legs are okay too...

"You okay, Mikasa? Anything broken?"

"I'm fine," she replies.

Eren studies her face and posture, reaching out to carefully check on her to be completely sure. He won't put it above her to lie about injuries (a habit that seems incredibly contagious, if he may humbly say so himself). Her face doesn't change when he presses down a bit harder on a few places, and she breathes at a normal pace during the entire hasty assessment.

"Does nothing really hurt? Ribs?" He doesn't dare mention his own injury, but she probably detected it the moment they landed anyway.

Come to think of it, Mikasa hasn't gotten a single major injury during their time as cadets. Save for a few scratches and bruises here and there, he doesn't remember her having to stay at the infirmary for an extended period of time at all. Meanwhile, he's had his fair share of concussions and dislocated limbs. She rarely became ill even before then, the one time he knows of her getting sick is when Wall Maria fell and she caught the disease ravaging the slums they were at.

He involuntarily shivers at the memory.

Mikasa breathes slowly, poking at her chest. "No, none."

"Good." Eren gives her a small relieved smile, though it probably comes out more like a grimace. He stands up and draws his swords, trying to find the Armored Titan through all the steam.

'Now, where is that bastard...'

The smoke has cleared enough for him to see the damage brought onto Trost. Titans weren't spared by the lightning strike, multiple entrails splattered across buildings and scattered bodies regenerating from detached limbs. He doesn't know where the other cadets he saw earlier are and hopes they're alright or that they managed to get cover.

(If he'll be honest, though, he wouldn't be surprised if they're dead.)

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

The Armored Titan walks towards the inner gate, proud and tall amidst the toppled buildings.

...Scratch that, it doesn't walk.

It strides, it marches, it prowls towards one of humanity's last defenses against the Titan race. Its body emits steam from in between its plating, the bright color contrasting with its tight red skin. Its eyes glow through the shadows cast over its face, uncannily resembling both a human and an animal as it uncaringly steps over corpses and houses.

A sharp intake of breath. "Eren, we need to go."

"No! Mikasa, we could—"

Mikasa detaches her blades, wrapping one arm under his knees and another on his waist, and lifts him up in a one person arms carry. He yelps, wrapping an arm around her neck to keep their shared balance.

"Wha—hey!"

"We need to go, now!" Desperation colors her words, her pupils dilated in thinly veiled panic. She ignores his expletives and jumps off the building towards the Wall. They accelerate quickly despite their heavy combined weight, Mikasa pushing her gear and gas to their limits.

Eren goes to protest, to argue, to go back and—

...Oh.

'We're in this situation again.'

He's no stranger to desperation, no stranger to being hysterical in denial, no stranger to the need to move, move, move. He remembers the need to lift a beam, the need for all that strength that he's used to punch bullies, the need for all the anger he's ever pent up in his tiny body. He's no stranger to that and why don't you ever listen to me? At least obey me this last time!

If he concentrates enough, he can remember picking off the dried blood from his fingertips, the feel of wood beneath his hands, and the utter helplessness crushed beneath what once supported the literal structure of his old home.

Mr. Hannes did his duty and got them to safety but turned at a corner too late and Eren got to witness it rain with the blood of his beloved mother.

"You couldn't save your mom because you weren't strong enough."

The Garrison soldier's words ring true. Even until now.

Disappointment, shame, and oh-so familiar fury swirl in his chest. He hates this. He hated being weak. He hates the uncertainty of everything. He hates all those damn beasts keeping them caged within these Walls like animals. He hates how cruel the world is, mercilessly squashing up hopes and dreams, tossing away their aspirations like trash.

"This can't..."

'This can't be happening.'

Eren watches over Mikasa's shoulder as the Armored comes closer to the gate, shifting its body into something akin to a runner's stance.

He's nothing but a bystander, a bystander that can't intervene even if he tries. He can't look away, can't bring himself to fight Mikasa's protective iron grip, can't find the strength in him to seek vengeance against the destroyer of his life.

'We aren't what we were five years ago... We've trained desperately... We've strategized desperately to beat these bastards and stop them from taking any more from us...'

"NO!"

Tears stream down his face in the futile hope that this isn't the end of the line for the human race, that this isn't another victory for the Titans, that this isn't the final proof and nail in the coffin of their grim reality where humans are truly the helpless prey under the superior predators of this world.

It's more than just Shiganshina seemingly happening all over again, it's not just the death of his mother that he's witnessing but of everything he has left in this world.

Pillow fights after it lights out. Squabbles over the proper way to oil their gear. Accidentally walking in on risqué nightly escapades. Sharing care packages filled with food from different villages. Touring the streets of Trost on their free days. Playing dumb games during their recreational time. Learning useless but fun facts about one another.

'Why is this happening? Why are they taking from us our lives, our dreams?'

Eren doesn't believe in the three goddesses, doesn't buy into cult teachings of annoying preachers, doesn't believe in a higher being.

But, at this moment, what else can he do besides pray? Pray and will and implore and plead and beg?

The Armored Titan stomps its foot forward. It falls into a lunging position, fists flexing and steam coming out from its nose.

Eren forgets to breathe.

"STOP!"

Ba-dump.

Ba-dump.

Ba-dump.

The Titan straightens up.

Cannon fire ricochets off of its burly body. The rounds are useless against its plating, barely chipping off any of the firm skin. It cocks its head to the side, curious and inquisitive and... contemplative.

Something about that gesture makes a chill run up Eren's spine and a chasm split open in his gut.

"Mikasa... Look..." Eren says weakly.

She listens, turning her head just enough to catch a glimpse of the Armored Titan standing there as still as a statue.

Then, it turns around and simply disappears from view.

"Why... why didn't it..."

Eren's shock is palpable, unanswered questions swimming and surfacing from the depths of his mind. He cranes his neck to look for where the Armored disappeared off to. Not believing his own eyes and wondering if he's actually gone insane, he licks his dry lips.

"...Why didn't the Armored Titan breach the Wall?"

Mikasa is silent.

The monstrous beast could've brought humanity to its knees. It could've wrecked their defenses and sent them all into civil war. It could've caused people to turn on each other and reduce them to carnivorous animals desperate to reach the Interior as they were picked off by Titans.

Except it didn't.

He thinks of the Colossal Titan's deliberate targeting of the cannons on the outer gate, the way it ignored him until it sensed him close to its weak spot. He thinks of the Armored Titan's stance, the way it deliberately chose a form to best use its momentum to charge through the gate. He thinks of how it all seems planned, coordinatedwith how they chose a weak spot within the Walls. He thinks of how it displayed a capability for decision making, not breaching the inner gate of Trost for reasons currently unknown.

The Armored and Colossal Titans are not the same as the mindless beasts that are swayed only by their animalistic behaviors and that have no real logical capabilities. They're not even Abnormals that retain the barest scraps of intelligent and eccentric behavior.

It's as if they're above those types of Titans on the hierarchy, leading their army of apex predators straight into the final remnants of the human race to feast upon.

It's only because of a miracle did the Armored not take down Wall Rose.

These Titans...

They have a goal.

They have motives.

Most of all...

They have intelligence.

And something about that revelation is scarier than any "normal" or Abnormal Titan will ever be.

To be continued. . .