Chap 4 Deep Conversation

I picked my phone back up and texted Rachel my real address and told her the door was unlocked and to come over. I flipped the tv on. I began channel surfing until I fell asleep. I'm not sure how long I was asleep for but I started to dream about my mystery mother again. "Honey, if you're tired you should take a break. It's okay to take a break. I know you think everyone will be disappointed but I promise it's okay. Your only human, you know?" I repeated her words back to her. "I'm only human? I think I'm a robot set on autopilot." From somewhere distant I heard Alison and felt a small tap on my shoulder. I jolted awake. "Sorry Rachel, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I'm sorry I hung up on you. I'm an embarrassed dumbass. Do you want to watch tv with me? We can turn on something silly and make small talk." She nodded and grabbed the remote to turn on Netflix then climbed into bed with me. I wasn't really sure what to say so I just laid there awkwardly and desperately hoped she would say something to fill in the silence. She turned to look at me, "When I was 16 both of my parents died in a car crash. I adopted my sister legally and have been a mother figure to her since. I'm both her mom and her sister. Sometimes she calls me sis, sometimes she calls me mama. I only started singing for her. I never even considered it a career choice until I began singing to her whenever she was feeling particularly lonely. Then your role in 'You're not Alone' even though you were a side character, really spoke volumes to her as a person. Your struggle of losing your brother and the slow healing and growth in the movie breathed life back into my sister. I wanted to meet you personally so much that I began taking steps to become a singer so I could thank you. Imagine my surprise when I finally do meet you that you're my sister before she was healed. So I want you to know, that I will be here for you so that you may heal from whatever you're going through. In whatever way you need me I am here. Let me in, let me love you in whatever way you need. I don't take relationships or friendships lightly, I am here for you any time of day no matter how much you feel alone. Even if I'm one day mad at you for any reason, I'm still here. I think you need someone and I think I'm new enough to the fame scene for you to consider me not fully corrupted." She leaned over and wiped away a tear of mine. "I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. Don't take the role but I still want you to consider me a friend and call on me whenever you're lonely or need someone, okay?" I didn't know what to say without sobbing so I nodded and turned back to the tv. I was thinking of something Rachel reminded me of and turned on a Thai drama I had been watching to a specific part. I paused it. "This is what you made me think of when you told me you would be there." Then I unpaused it and waited for her to hear the words, "You can be afraid of anything you want in this world, I will be right beside you, but you cannot be afraid of me. Do you understand?" I watched her lips curve into a smile, "they're very cute together." I nodded my agreement. Then without considering the consequences I grabbed her hand and held it. I could feel my face becoming hot and flushed but I couldn't bring myself to look at her again. I wonder if she was okay with this much. "That woman is the beautiful Samantha Coates. She's my favorite Thai actress. She's adorkable and clumsy and wild with her acting." Rachel smiled, "So am I competing against her?" I burned bright red. Snapping out of it quick I retorted, "There is no competing with Samantha Coates." We both burst into laughter. "Thanks for making me feel better, I really do appreciate it. If you're not doing anything tomorrow, do you want to go on a shopping adventure? Sam is welcome to come too!" Rachel picked up her phone to text her sister. "Okay," she started, "we are good to go for tomorrow. What time would you like us here? I can only stay until 3pm, I have a modeling shoot around 6 so I need time to prepare." I thought about it, "How does 8 O'clock sound? I'll treat you and Sam to breakfast. I only ask that you wear something inconspicuous." I felt her eyes on me as if she were searching for answers, "You really don't like attention on you, do you?" I shook my head in answer. Rachel stood up quickly, "see you tomorrow then!" And like that I watched her close and lock the door behind her. I can't help but think to myself that she's just playing me for fame; but it's so nice to feel like I finally have someone to talk to. I haven't had a personal conversation with anyone in years. Much to my own surprise, I sort of like this.