72 Regrets filled with resentment

Patrick. 

Shit. 

Shit, shit, shit. 

What the fuck have I done?

How could I be so stupid?

Now I am just staring at him like a fucking creep. Shit, how did I end up so fucked that I would fuck Jack?

I go on my knees and I feel the pain in my back. I didn't fuck him, he fucked me and i don't even fucking remember. 

Shit. 

I get up from the bed and run out of the room. Looking around the living room, I see the mess we made last night. The alcohol, the pillows on the floor. The reminder that I have screwed things up badly. I run my hands through my hair because I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this.

If I thought I didn't have a chance with Lance, now I know for a fact that there is no way in hell he would want me after this. 

I have to wake him up, what will I tell him? how do I explain what we did. Shit shit shit.