Confession

Thinking about it deeply, he came to two conclusions. One was that the system had some secret, special way of determining emotions, so the only way to change one's emotional state was to use skills.

The other was that the system determined the subconsciousness's emotions. That way, superficial attempts to change one's mood wouldn't change how skills like Visions and Whispers saw emotions.

And likely, skills also affected only the subconsciousness. Skills like Mental Inducement would have a much briefer effect if the subject's consciousness was anticipating the change. But if it's used on someone unwary, the effects would probably be much better.

Lorn leaned towards the second theory more. There was something genuine about the anger he felt from his skill. It was like becoming drunk in one second, and sober the next... and how fucking magical that experience was for whatever reason.

'Ding!'

[SKILL LVL UP: Mental Inducement Lv.2 – Efficiency increased; 'Doubt' state unlocked; Gained 0.8 Willpower and Intelligence.]

As they were only Lv.1 skills, they grew fast. Sighing, Lorn resumed his training. Eventually, he'd get the hang of his skills.

A few hours later, the time to switch guards came. Yara and Danton's turns were next, so Lorn saw them through his skill.

Yara's was weird. Her head was orange, but her heart was black. There were no extra lines or circles, and the colors were vibrant. There were no shades of gray or signs of decay. Pure, raw colors.

Lorn felt a bit worried, seeing the pitch black in her heart, but there was few he could do, except be with her and not ask unnecessary questions.

Danton's was a little dramatic. His heart was bright pink, but lines and lines of black and blue were wrapped around it. Occasionally, the pink heart would pulse with vile green. There was also nothing on his head.

Lorn felt he understood his skill more thanks to Danton. Smiling wryly, he went to his tent and slept.

***

Danton sat in silence with the Undying girl. He tried to talk to her the previous few nights, but realized their personality didn't match. He found the girl's jokes to be similar to Jabber's humor. The girl, too, seemed to realize there was no room for chatter between the two of them. They silently practiced their own skills.

But Danton started to feel the urgency to make her go to sleep soon. If not, he wouldn't be able to have his conversation with Sybil.

Fidgety, he waited. Thirty minutes before their shift ended, he spoke.

"Why don't you go to sleep now?" he said. "I'll wake Adrian up and sleep afterwards."

The Undying girl looked over. She thought for a bit before smiling knowingly.

"What?" she asked teasingly. "You need a little wank?"

Danton coughed.

"No. Just wondering coz you looked kinda sleepy."

"It's alright. I'm not as sleepy as I look. And I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep, anyway."

"Usually, you end up sleeping if you just lie down."

"So they say."

The Undying went silent for a bit before sighing.

"You know…" she continued. "It's a doomed thing, whatever it is you're wanting from Sy."

"What are you talking about?" Danton said. "What thing am I wanting from her?"

"Dude," she scoffed. "It's obvious if someone just looks at you looking at her for a few seconds."

Danton hated how casually the Undying spoke. These weird languages they used to call each other, the jokes they threw around like they meant nothing.

"Mind your own business."

"I know you probably think yourself secretive, being a rogue and all, but you really do wear your emotions on your sleeve. And you're probably not that good of a rogue either, considering how I saw the piece of paper you slipped into Sy's hand."

She then grabbed into her pocket and pulled out a thin cigar. She lit it by the fire and breathed in a lungful.

"And I'm not trying to stand between you and Sy. Really, I'm actually trying to keep you close to her. Listen to me."

"…"

Danton wanted to scoff, but out of curiosity, he kept his mouth shut.

"Let's say Sy comes out and you two talk. What happens then? You're gonna maybe talk some shit about Lorn, talk about how different you two are from the Undying, then you're gonna confess. 'I've always wanted you', 'It's been like this forever', 'Please…' Blah, blah. Shit like that."

"…"

The Undying took another lungful of the cigar. She blew the smoke out and looked at it floating in the night air for a bit.

"Sy's gonna say no, of course," she continued. "And of course, the whole thing's gonna be awkward as hell. Why? Coz she looks at you like a little sibling. Maybe a junior she needs to look out for. Nothing more. You suddenly coming out and spilling everything will be… an annoyance for her. Soon enough, she's gonna start avoiding you entirely. Sy's not the type of person that likes dealing with shit like this."

"…"

"But. Stay silent tonight, and you'll get to stay friends with her. Perhaps become a proper member of the team, eventually. You're a big boy, I'm sure you'll learn to handle your emotions and perhaps find someone who loves you back. After all, you have that pretty boy face. I can see you're going through some shit nowadays, and I couldn't be bothered to care, but after you're over that, I'm sure your charm will start working again."

"You don't know the first thing about me. You don't even know the first thing about us."

The Undying smiled softly. She chuckled to herself.

"Dude, you seem hell-bent on seeing us as aliens, but if you have to learn one thing from my little speech tonight, realize that us and you guys, we're not so different. Just humans who happened to be born in different worlds."

The Undying took a big puff. Danton also took the time to think.

'They're all the same…' he thought.

"Well, you do you," she got up. "Who knows? Maybe I'm just an idiot and you will get laid tonight. If you do, make sure you lay it to my face tomorrow. I'd love to see your triumphant face."

She threw her cigar into the fire and walked into her tent.

Danton looked at her tent for a while before looking away.

'They're all just so condescending…'

All these Undying always carried themselves around like they knew everything. Lorn, the few Danton met in Belo City, even this 19-year-old little girl. Each and every one of them oh-so experienced in the ways of life.

But the truth of the matter was, they were all failures back in their world. Addicts, debtors, rejects… How could they be so arrogant to talk like this? Danton could only scoff at their absurdity.

He sneaked over to Adrian's tent and heard the man snoring. Then, he approached Sybil's tent and lightly shook it.

A sleepy groan came from inside, and Sybil popped her head out. She looked at Danton and sighed slightly.

"Oh, yeah… Let me wake up a little."

Danton went back to the fire and added some wood to it. Sybil came out of her tent and sat down.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked, sipping on her watersack.

Danton was briefly dazed. What was he going to talk about? Something in his head assumed that this would be a little private moment for them. Something to enjoy. Who cares what they could talk about?

"I just wanted to ask what your plans were after all this," he said. "After you separate your bond."

"Is that all?" Sybil sighed. She groaned and stretched before speaking in a slur. "The plan was for me to go back to Silt again… but now I'm not sure."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm thinking it might be good if I stayed around even after that," Sybil said. "See the world a bit. I mean, I'm growing as a Hunter so quickly these past couple weeks. It's almost addicting."

"Sure, but what happens after all that?"

"Who knows?" she shrugged. "And I suggest you find some Undying to bond with as well. You'll be surprised at how fast you start growing."

The idea sounded preposterous to Danton. Why would he ever tie his life to an alien who came and went whenever they pleased? What would he do if one day they decided to just not come? And considering what kind of people they were back there; the likelihood wasn't small.

"I don't think it's that good of an idea to mingle too deeply with the Undying."

"Yeah. I was worried like you, too. The only reason Lorn and I wanted to separate our bond in the first place was because we didn't really know each other, you know? But now that we're familiar, I really don't see him as this... otherworldly being."

"Wait, wait. You're thinking of keeping the Spirit Bond?"

"Maybe," Sybil said. "It'll depend on what happens. And maybe Lorn wouldn't want to keep it either…" she spoke somewhat sadly. "In that case, I guess we'll end up separating, anyway."

"You will separate!" Danton couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Aren't we all on this journey for some way to sever the bond between you and Lorn?"

Sybil was startled by Danton's sudden outburst. She went silent for a bit before her eyes turned wary. She seemed to fully wake up.

"Yes, but finding something like that will be useful regardless," Sybil spoke politely. "Like we discussed, it would be good for the guild to try to monopolize the solution. If it exists, of course. If it doesn't exist… well, tough luck. But really, I wouldn't mind either way."

Danton felt livid. But he didn't want to lash out at Sybil. That was the worst thing he could do.

"You know what I heard back in Belo?" he asked.

"What?"

"About the Undying."

Sybil sighed. "What?"

"They're the lowest of people from that 'Earth' place they come from. Addicts, robbers, rapists and murderers. The worst bunch."

"Ugh, Danton," Sybil scoffed. "Don't wake me up for things like this in the future."

She got up to leave.

"You don't believe me now, but you will believe me when we get to the capital. Talk to any Undying there and you'll see what I'm talking about."

Sybil stopped. Sighing again, she sat down.

"Don't worry, I know," she said. "Lorn told me about it. And he said that most were debtors, penniless people… maybe some addicts, I don't know. Just some people in desperate need of money. Not murderers and rapists like you describe them."

Danton fell silent. His lie was caught.

"And Lorn, too, I know he's probably in some deep shit back there. He doesn't tell me the whole thing... but I can tell he's being genuine."

"..."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear anything tonight," Sybil sighed again. "I understand it must be weird, all these new things happening all of a sudden, but you gotta accept them. Wake Adrian and go to sleep."

When Sybil got up, Danton felt choked in his throat. He couldn't let the conversation end like this. He couldn't let Sybil think of him like this.

"I love you," he blurted out.

As she slowly turned back, he deeply regretted what he just said. The Undying's words echoed in his ears. 'Sy's gonna say no, of course'.

"What are you saying?" she asked, her brows creasing.

She looked at Danton like she was speaking with a child.

Danton didn't know how he was supposed to respond. Something in his heart decided he would push through. Now that he started it, he would say the rest of it.

"It's been like this since I came to Silt. I was immediately interested in you. And spending our time together with you, the feeling only got stronger."

''I've always wanted you', 'It's been like this forever', 'Please…' Blah, blah. Shit like that.'

"…"

Sybil's expression turned softer, but it wasn't anything good. While before, she was filled with annoyance and absurdity; she looked almost worried now. She was taking him seriously, but the only worry in her head was how to best reject him.

'And of course, the whole thing's gonna be awkward as hell.'

Danton wanted to go die somewhere. Why the hell did he have to speak out like that? He wanted to ask what she felt about him, but he was too scared to do so. His mind was turning into a mess. What the fuck was he doing? He needed to say something.

.

.

.

The silence continued for who knows how long.

"Forget about it," he managed to say at the end.

His pride was no more, but at least this nightmarish situation would be over.

Sybil nodded awkwardly and went back to her tent.

Danton spent some time near the fire, before waking Adrian up. He went back to his tent and lied inside his blanket.

***