3 Mother

"Where is this, am I near Seoul station? I can't tell." Lee Dojin cracked his neck. The coat was a little too small for him, but he didn't care. A cold breeze floated past him, brushing his face. He looked around with incredulous eyes. The people around him continued their merry way. The warm light of the restaurants mingled with the neon of clubs, bars, and PC rooms. A festive atmosphere entangled Seoul—it was a rather jarring experience for Lee Dojin, who had just returned from hell. It was as if he had traveled back in time. Yet, some things were different.

He looked at a tower on top of a hill. "Well, if this is the Seoul Tower," he mumbled then turned around. There, another tower shot into the sky, not much different looking from the iconic landmark he knew. "Then what the hell is this?"

The Seoul he grew up in, the Seoul he lived in did not look like this. At first, he thought he had traveled back in time, but now, that assessment didn't seem quite right. Instead, another theory sprung up to his mind.

"Dojin, where are you running to?" His mother followed behind him, gasping. She hadn't had time to put a jacket on, so she stood in the winter cold with only a light dress. Every time she breathed' warm vapor exited her lips.

Lee Dojin looked at his mother. He tried twirling his hair but realized that he didn't have his long hair anymore. Instead, they were now annoying bangs that kept brushing his eyes. However, that didn't matter currently. "And you," he pointed at her, "Are you one of The Shadows?"

His mother tilted her head. "What?" She didn't quite understand what her son meant.

Lee Dojin walked closer and grabbed his mother's neck. "You... are my mother?" His tone filled with mockery. "That's impossible."

He only had one mother, and it could not be her. He was sure of it. And that was not only because she had died a long time ago. The woman's eyes shook. "What are you saying?" She lifted her hands and gently stroked Lee Dojin's face. "Who can I be except your mother?"

Lee Dojin didn't answer. Instead, he said, "I was born an orphan. I never had any parents. Even when the First Advent began I was alone. No, if I had to say, I had a father before that. He took care of abandoned children like me." He sighed and shook his head. "But even he betrayed me, scared of what I'd become. There was only one person that accepted me as their son," his eyes turned sharp; as if hiding a beast inside him. "And you are not her."

As he voiced his thoughts, people started to gather around him, seeing what the commotion was about. But Lee Dojin did not care, he wanted to know what situation this was. Was it an illusion? Was this how the afterlife looked like? Or was it something entirely else.

His mother—or maybe she wasn't—struggled to open her mouth. She seemed to voice something, her lips twitching. "Lee... Dojin. You, urgh, you're as untrusting as ever I see. My little light, Dojin."

"Do not refer to me as such." Lee Dojin's eyes turned dark. "You have no right."

The woman, as she realized she could not escape, smiled. A change appeared within her countenance—from confusion to gradually serenity—as if she had expected everything. With a calm voice, she asked, "The father you talked about, I wonder, did he call himself the Wanderer, Alitta? even though his real name was different, but he did not like referring himself as such." She gazed deep into Lee Dojin's eyes. "Oh Seewon was his real name if I remember correctly."

Great shock overcame Lee Dojin, feeling as if a lightning bolt had coursed through his body, though he did not show it. "Who are you? Only one person should know that."

A few strangers watching the scene asked themselves whether they should intervene.

"And that person, what did she look like?" The woman asked. "Did she not have black flowing hair, green glittering eyes, and—what you always said—an expression so icy it could freeze hell? Did she not look like me? Sound like me? Talk like me?" She grabbed Lee Dojin's arm with her fair little hands. "Think for yourself. What are you fearing? What is it that is so scary for you that you need deny it? Was it The Shadows that suddenly appeared? The Mirage calling itself the system? No. Was it that you could not be there when your mother died? Answer me this. Who was your mother? Who am I?"

Lee Dojin felt his strength gradually vane as he listened to her talk. He muttered to himself, "My mother is, no, my mother was," he paused, "My mother, the woman that adopted me after the apocalypse, was... an Outer God."

"Good." She nodded weakly. "And what was her name?"

He gradually let go of his hand. The woman coughed slightly but waited patiently for him to answer. "Xh'Endrada, the Concubine of All Things Parallel."

His mother was the Ruler of all parallel universes. She was a cold woman, a mysterious woman, a terrifying woman. She governed and watched every universe. She existed in all and none at once. That was who she was. She was his only mother, the woman who adopted him.

"My foolish child, you are correct." She clapped her hands. "Do you understand now? This is neither a fading dream nor a trick conjured by the system. This is the legacy I leave to you, my only kin. This is a parallel universe, a world infinitely close to ours, yet very much different. Still, The Shadows will come eventually. That, you know best."

"But, mother," he called her, "I was sure you have died." That is why he could not accept it. As strong as she was, The Shadows were stronger. She had been swallowed, her powers usurped, and like every god, slowly forgotten. If she died in one universe, she would die in all. Those were her words, and Lee Dojin confirmed them himself.

"Again, have I ever said I was not?" She straightened her dress. "I did die. That fact will never change. And the woman you know has perished long ago."

"Then saving this universe, is there a point?" He stepped back. "Every being residing here, even if everything was the same, ultimately, they would not be the people I knew. Even if I saved them here, would the others come back alive? What is it but just a futile attempt to fight the inevitable?"

"Lee Dojin, my child of light. Oh, I sometimes forget, even with all your strength, you are human. And you still think like one, too. When will you understand, we are not bound by life or by existence. It will be our legacy that keeps us alive, even if we disappear." She gently stroked his cheek. "Take it as my last testament; a new year's present, if you will. I leave you my final vestige. Dear, please, I ask you this not as a higher being but as your mother," a single tear flowed down her cheek. "I beg you, try save this world, but more importantly—survive."

"Mother..." His words were left caught in his throat. He had finally found out what happened, yet, he still could not rejoice. As he tried to jumble the right sentence to say, a sudden crack, like the shattering of the mirror, appeared before him breaking the image of his mother. Startled, he jumped back, but it seemed only he had noticed, as the bystanders, did not voice any thoughts. Rather, they suddenly continued their merry way, as if the commotion hadn't occurred at all. The festive atmosphere, that was briefly ransacked by Lee Dojin, returned promptly.

"Huh?" His mother turned her head. "Why are there so many people here? Ah, Dojin! Come back return back inside, it's rude to leave with no warning." She reprimanded him, seemingly forgetting everything that happened. "Dear, are you listening?"

Lee Dojin smiled and let out a dejected sigh. "Yes, mother."

They walked back into the house. Lee Dojin was lost in many thoughts.

He was not a savior. He never claimed to be one, and it shall stay so until his death. He wished he was, and for a while he thought he was, but he knew, it was only his own arrogance that made him believe so. In the end, he could not save a single one. Thus, he gave up on being a savior.

Still, a deep seed buried within him did not allow him to deny his mothers last wish.

He thought about what his mother had once said to him: 'Death can be a tragic thing. Still, at one point, every being will have to come to terms with it. Whether it is since the beginning of time or only when ones breath fades, at one point, the thought of passing away will only be met with peace. Dying is natural. Death by age, death by poison, death by illness, death by betrayal, death by suicide—it is all fine. But a death through the systems machinations is unacceptable.' He remembered clearly the rage in his usually calm mothers voice.

His mother, as the governor of parallel universes, has seen uncountable people die. She had witnessed every choice imaginable, every mark left behind, and every consequence it brought. She accepted them all, and never interfered. Because that was in her mind natural. In contrast, the system that took away choices, that ruined fate, and swallowed legacies, she had come to despise with all her heart.

And Lee Dojin shared her opinion.

"I wonder. One last time." Lee Dojin muttered to himself. "Should I try one last time?"

Not for humanity, not for Earth, and not even for his mother. It was for his selfish pride to not be killed by the system known as The Mirage.

Lee Dojin smirked. For the first time since years, he felt at peace. "If so, I need to start right away."

Although the First Advent started around February, it didn't mean the system appeared at the same time. Some people, random or selected, had been given the chance to gain skills beforehand, giving them a sizable head-start compared to others. Even in the last remains of humanity, there were people who survived based sorely on the achievement gained in the beginning. If possible, in this life, he should be one of them.

Still, before anything, he needed to sort out—in this world, who was he?