Chapter 1

BEEP....... BEEP............BEEP....... BEEP

The sound of the alarm woke me up.

I was thankful for that.

Weird? I know. But I can't help it.

That beeping was like music to my ears. And I loved it.

If anyone went through what I did, they would have loved it too.

Almost a minute passed before I realized that the alarm was still going on, so I shut it off.

I got off the creaking bed and sat on the floor with my back leaning on the bed. Bringing my knees to my chest and covering my face with my hands, I recalled the dream I had.

No. Nightmare.

The same nightmare every time I close my eyes.

For the past 19 years.

It never stops. Never changes. Always the same.

The fact that it happened, makes things even worse.

Feeling dejected, I got up and opened the window.

Breathing in the fresh air, I observed the neighborhood.

There was nothing special about it. Just box-like buildings of different sizes on both sides of the streets. A sweeper sweeping, a couple of joggers jogging, and a street dog barking. Nothing interesting.

I looked up at the sky and spotted some sparrows flying.

I started feeling poetic all of a sudden.

Thought about life as a bird. Wings wide open. Going where ever I want. Flying. Being free.

But, what if some predator caught me or some human caged me? Why would anyone cage a sparrow? What if I fell from the nest before my first flight?

I closed my eyes and tried to shake off those negative feelings.

Glancing at the clock, I saw that it read 5:45 am.

I had wasted 15 minutes of my day already. 23 hours 45 minutes more to go.

I was dead tired even after sleeping and it took every single ounce of energy to walk up to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, as I got ready for my daily pep talk.

I was a really good-looking guy, thanks to my mother, and I knew it. I would have looked even better if there were no dark circles, which made me look like a drunkard or someone who reads manga all night. But what stood out, were those amethyst eyes.

Damn, I love my eyes.

But sometimes, I hated them when they reminded me of the person I had inherited the eyes from.

Taking a deep, deep, deep breath and then yawning, I started my daily pep talk.

Staring at myself intensely, I started:

"I will go through this day like I do every day. No negative thoughts. I am extremely handsome and mildly successful in life so far. I will ignore the stupidity of everyone around me... or at least try to. Not be angry at small things. They are not worth wasting my limited energy. Concentrate on my work....as long as I can. I will...I....... I sound like a bloody idiot. Who in their right mind does even talk with themselves? I need a shower, a cup of coffee and some cake. I sound like a teenage girl from a stupid Netflix show even though I am a 24-year-old man. Fudging great."

And so my pep talk ended more positively than usual.

After my usual morning routine, I got ready for work.

Today I chose to wear a crisp white shirt tucked in dark blue jeans with a dark blue tie. I didn't bother to comb my hair as I wasn't in the mood for it.

For breakfast, I made a cup of sugar with coffee and had some leftover cake.

Aah...the perks of living alone.

Leaving the building, I noticed that the air was already a lot different than early in the morning. More suffocating. There were a lot more people on the road. It was not an expensive street so there weren't any cars parked. The people who lived here barely managed to survive. Some were even jobless and not exactly friendly neighbors. I was in better condition than most of them. At least I could fulfill my needs.

I entered a local store and bought a lollipop from the cashier.

The owner, also the cashier, was a friendly old man who cared for everyone he met. But I had seen that old man easily tackle a teenage thief.

He smiled at me, revealing a missing tooth, and said in his gravelly voice, " The same thing today too, eh? Don't you think so much sugar might change that pretty body of yours?"

You know nothing old man, I thought.

Smiling I said, "How can you be so sure that it is for me?"

Giving me a do-you-think-I-am-a-fool look, he said, "Because I see you sucking it every day through that window."

Stalking old man. This place couldn't get any worse.

"Why do you buy one every day? Why not a bunch? It will be cheaper", he said.

“If I buy a bunch, I will eat a bunch. This way at least I could control myself", I replied with a smirk.

The old man waved his hand and said in a disapproving tone, "You young people and your lack of self-control. So harmful. But I should not complain. After all, you have been my first customer of the day for the last 3 months. If anything, I should tell you to have more sweets in the morning."

"Not a chance old man. I quite like myself."

"Who are you calling old man, boy?" he said gruffly.

I laughed at his answer, waved the empty lollipop packet at him, and left the store.

Popping the candy in my mouth and putting on my earphones, I started the journey to the worst place I have been so far.

The office.