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Experian

Rattanavong_Sithi · TV

Not enough ratings

120 Chs

p

Chapter Text

< Hidden Scenario - Into The Mind of The Suffered One >

Category: Hidden

Difficulty: A-

Clear Conditions: Choose a person and watch their memories—childhood to now

Time Limit: 1 day

Reward: 100,000 coins

Penalty for Failure: Imprisonment (inevitable death)

Kim Dokja took a deep breath as he read the Hidden Scenario. As if a habit, he glanced at Yoo Jonghyuk—the other man gazed back at him with an unreadable glare.

Recently, his skill, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, was malfunctioning? He didn't know precisely, but the skill would activate at random.

Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung glanced at each other awkwardly.

Someone had to initiate it.

"So who's it?" Han Sooyoung asked, taking her lollipop out her mouth. She was being snarky, but Kim Dokja could read the 'not me' behind the arrogant glare.

A few rounds of sighs rang in the room.

Ever since Ways of Survival had become reality, there was no one who didn't have trauma.

Kim Dokja pursed his lips and looked at the people present.

Himself, Yoo Jonghyuk, Han Sooyoung, Jung Heewon, Yoo Sangha, Lee Hyunsung, Lee Jihye, Lee Seolwha, and the kids.

By what he knew right now, Yoo Jonghyuk's mind would be the most twisted and traumatic, plus, that bastard wouldn't even let anyone through it.

The blue screen appeared again, listing the names of the people in the room.

It was a voting page.

"Haha. . ." Lee Jihye stilled as she tried to make a sound to ease the tension.

Kim Dokja met Lee Hyunsung's gaze, the other man was looking at him for possible guidance or validation. He caught Yoo Sangha and Jung Heewon doing the same.

This wasn't good.

[The Exclusive Skill 'Fourth Wall' has reduced panic]

Kim Dokja was thankful for Fourth Wall. Even though it was a bitch at times, it helped a lot.

However, it couldn't rest the curious gazes he received from everyone in the room.

Kim Dokja inwardly groaned, and slowly pressed the 'N/A' option at the end. He bit his lower lip in little uneasiness.

What was so special about him?

He was just someone who used to cope with life by reading.

[All votes taken]

[Displaying votes]

[Lee Gilyoung: 0

Shin Yoosung: 0

Lee Jihye: 0

Lee Seolwha: 0

Yoo Sangha: 0

Lee Hyunsung: 0

Jung Heewon: 0

Han Sooyoung: 1

Yoo Jonghyuk: 2

Kim Dokja: 6]

"Guess it's you, Ahjussi." Lee Jihye murmured, appearing a bit disappointed as to know that no one was interested in her.

Kim Dokja swallowed, and couldn't help but think the constellations were painfully silent.

Did they just stop sending direct messages to him only?

He looked down. His own past was surprising for him to hear.

Lee Sookyung had kept such a small yet so huge thing to save Kim Dokja. It wasn't until then that Kim Dokja realized that it would've been inevitable.

"H-huh? What's this?!" Lee Jihye suddenly exclaimed as their surroundings began dissipating into dusty particles.

"Calm down, Lee Jihye-ah," Jung Heewon places her hand on Lee Jihye's shoulder and nudges her blade inward so she wouldn't hurt anyone.

"I'm sorry," a voice said next to Kim Dokja, and Yoo Sangha stepped beside him. "I was curious about Dokja-ssi's past."

"I don't blame Sangha-ssi," Kim Dokja didn't want to sound so sullen, but given the situation, the words came drenched in anxiety.

"Did you lose a cartridge too? Dokja-ssi?" Lee Hyunsung asked silently.

Kim Dokja blinked, before slowly shaking his head. "Something like that."

"Hey, it can't be that bad," an arm draped over Yoo Sangha and Kim Dokja's shoulder. Han Sooyoung smiled a bit.

In front of them, Yoo Jonghyuk silently watched them, along with Lee Seolwha. "Maybe I can pick something to tease you about." Jung Heewon turned around and said.

[The Constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is watching in dimmed curiosity]

Ah, finally. It was a bit surprising not to see Uriel's messages—or Sun Wukong's—maybe Abysmal Black Dragon too.

"I'm not sure there is anything to pick at," Kim Dokja smiled as a white light filled over them.

At the words something in Jung Heewon's eyes turned, seemingly regret.

[You have entered Reaction Room]

"Fancy," Han Sooyoung murmured in sarcasm as they stared at the empty room.

Kim Dokja decided to part from the group and made his way next to Yoo Jonghyuk. "You picked me, didn't you? Jonghyuk-ah?"

"Is it not normal to be curious about someone who seemingly knows everything about you?"

Yoo Jonghyuk had a valid point, Kim Dokja had to give him that.

"It's nothing special, however, I presumed you understood the circumstances." Kim Dokja smiled, and Yoo Jonghyuk looked away.

Recently, after his reunion with his party, Yoo Jonghyuk's glances were more abrupt. It felt like the man avoided him more.

Inwardly, Kim Dokja couldn't help but feel more offended—in the corner of his eye, he spotted Han Sooyoung touching a crevice in the dark painted wall—exclaiming 'spotless.'

"I'm curious," Yoo Jonghyuk said quietly.

Before Kim Dokja could respond, the kids exclaimed. "Something's starting!"

It was smoke.

Not smoke, but fog. Alabaster fog slowly began filling the room, filling their lungs with humidity.

"What's this?" Lee Seolwha asked as their vision slowly adjusted—except it was the fog.

Kim Dokja opened his eyes to see a familiar house.

A sickly familiar house with a boy standing in front of it's gates with a backpack and a bruised eye. His bangs covered his forehead and fell into his eyes while his clothes seemed too big.

Kim Dokja's eyes softened in grimace at the sight of his younger self. How different would have things been if he had 'Fourth Wall' back then? Maybe that bastard of a father would still be alive.

"Is that you?" Yoo Jonghyuk asked.

Kim Dokja pursed his lips, taking in the murky painting. "It is."

"Hyung. . . Why's your eye beaten up?" Lee Gilyoung asked.

Shin Yoosung had the same question.

"Why does Ahjussi's demeanor feel so different? Isn't he only a kid?"

Lee Seolwha's eyes darkened.

Yoo Sangha and Lee Hyunsung silently waited.

Jung Heewon bit her lower lip.

A soft voice spoke and everyone looked around. "It narrates itself, wow." Han Sooyoung said, gazing around the painting, but other than the house and the boy, the neighborhood was much blurred.

"One week into the month, it was during this time when I sought into other things than life."

"What does Hyung mean?" Lee Gilyoung asked bitterly. Yoo Sangha and Lee Hyunsung stood by the kids' side. By the looks of it, it wasn't going to be any good.

[First Record: Stay Quiet, Don't Get Hurt]

The expressions of adults hardened in the room upon those words.

The little Kim Dokja in the painting shook the dust of his uniform and began to take a step onto the porch of his house.

Chapter Text

The painting followed the little boy into the house.

Kim Dokja's jaw clenched.

[The Exclusive Skill 'Fourth-wall' is shaking.]

Dammit. Right now?

He took a deep breath and looked ahead as his memory narrated itself.

'I stepped into the house slowly. It rang with silence upon my arrival and reeked with the same horrid smell. Usually, it posed as a good thing, but recently. . .'

The party watched as little Kim Dokja carefully took a peek into the living room. There was a man sleeping on the sofa with his hand still clasped against a beer bottle.

[The Exclusive Skill 'Fourth-wall' is shaking!]

"Fuck," Han Sooyoung cussed suddenly. No one looked at her or blamed her.

Because 'fuck' the sight was that bad. Around 3 other bottles of beer lay rolling on the ground.

When the man shifted and grunted, the Kim Dokja in the painting jolted upright and slipped into another room, very carefully locking the door.

'So much of a safe place.'

It was a room filled with scattered newspapers and books, a bed, a window, dusty curtains, and a wooden desk with no chair.

"Was that Hyung's room?"

Kim Dokja snapped out of his daze and thought about the tone the words were said in. They were awfully grimacing.

His lips curved into a forced nostalgic smile, "was."

The painting shifted to Kim Dokja picking a book up and writing something on it.

"What were you writing on it?" Yoo Sangha asked.

"The times I've. . . Read it." Kim Dokja watched as his past self drew another line. His past self looked roughly eight, so 'that' was yet to come.

"You've read the same book eleven times?" Han Sooyoung asked, her mind racing back to when she was planning for her novel.

He opened his mouth to say something, but his past self spoke first.

Not spoke, thought.

'This time, maybe if I focus more on the maiden in black. . . I've already focused on the main characters. . . '

Yoo Sangha smiled a bit. "It feels different each time you read it."

Those who didn't read much didn't get what she meant.

The colors of the room slowly faded into new ones, and gently painted a picture of the same boy in the room, reading.

His body was skinnier and taller, and had more bruises. But a small smile was still on his lips as he continued reading.

"I wonder. . . What does the author think of this? It. . . it feels so unintentional to have their side characters see the spotlight."

Kim Dokja ignored the glance he got from Yoo Jonghyuk.

It would've been better if the bruise on his cheek was nonexistent, given his party would cling onto unnecessary details.

"Were you eating well?" Lee Seolwha asked.

Kim Dokja replied, "I don't know."

He just happened to trigger Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint to hear the leaving messages of [-firmed as false]

Damn these people and Han Sooyoung and Yoo Jonghyuk's influence on them. He looked back uneasily to see many of them looking at him in concern, as if to see if the same habits had resurfaced or not.

The boy in the painting looked up, and everyone followed his gaze to the door. It was silent, and nothing was happening. Then Kim Dokja heard it again, the faint sounds of footsteps. They slowly turned into more urgent ones as they neared the stairs.

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking!]

The door was profusely banged upon, the company noticed that the younger boy had already made his way to the closet and shielded himself behind a suitcase.

"Dokja-ssi. . ."

Kim Dokja wanted to say something meaningful, like, 'It's all in the past. It doesn't matter now,' but he just couldn't bring himself to.

The door burst open as a lock turned itself from the outside. "Brat!" A tall man with dark hair and a drunk figure stumbled into the room.

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking violently.]

[The stigma Self-rationalization has been triggered.]

[The constellation 'One who Overcomes the Late Trials' smiles sadly.]

Kim Dokja managed to stand still despite seeing his father.

"Ahjussi. . . that man. . . isn't he the one who was once featured in the weekly podcast?" Lee Jihye looked stunned. "He's your father- tha-that means. . . "

Kim Dokja swallowed the bittersweet feeling and glanced at the teenager.

Lee Jihye flinched at his gaze.

The ghosty scene moved to the little boy again, silently hyperventilating in the corner with his hands strapped to his mouth.

"Where are you?" Kim Dokja's father looked around the room. Just then Kim Dokja thought, 'is this normal?' His eyes teared up in realization. 'It is. . .'

"It's not," Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung whispered.

"Did you drink again?" A wavery voice asked, behind the man, in a door frame, a woman appeared, who also had a bruised cheek. Her stance was defensive and eyes were trembling, but she'd do anything to protect her child.

Kim Dokja couldn't help the slight chuckle of what was to come.

Yoo Jonghyuk eyed him along with a few others.

"Lee Sookyung-ssi, that's her, right?" Jung Heewon asked.

Kim Dokja nodded.

"She still looks a bit same."

His mother did.

"Did you say something bitch?" Kim Dokja's father asked the woman, his eyes darting in and out of focus. There was clear fear in Lee Sookyung's eyes, but she stood firm. "I asked if you're drinking again, but the answer seems quite obvious."

The man's eye twitched. "You dare speak back-"

His eyes rolled back and the man collapsed to the ground, a foot away from Lee Sookyung. "You can come out now, Dokja-ya." She said gently, walking past her husband. She reached the closet and slowly opened it.

Kim Dokja huddled deeper into his little corner and covered his mouth. Lee Sookyung let light pour into the darkness and the little boy finally let out a stifled noise. The woman's eyes softened and she opened the closet fully.

Lee Sookyung crouched down and pushed the suitcase to reveal Kim Dokja still in the hyperventilating state. Her eyes softened again. "Dokja-ya. . . "

The boy peeked up and revealed his bleeding lip. "Sorry," he said in a half-conscious state. Lee Sookyung took in the state her son was in, her own eyes threatening to tear up. But no. She'd be strong for her son. Her Kim Dokja.

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking violently!]

[The constellation 'One who Overcomes the Late Trials' is sad.]

[The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' shows extreme hostility Constellation Demon King of Salvation's old man.]

Ah, Abyssal Black Flame Dragon, this guy finally responded.

Something touched Kim Dokja's shoulder. He turned to see Lee Hyunsung looking at him with a complicated look.

Kim Dokja felt other tugs, and noticed Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung clinging to him, behind them, Yoo Sangha managed to give him a weak smile.

They didn't understand that he didn't want pity.

The image in front of them ghosted, turning from Lee Sookyung hugging Kim Dokja to something viler.

As if the sight of blood itself made their noses sting with the smell of metal, almost everyone lurched at that.

"Out of my way, brat!" The man raised his hand warningly, as if a smidge of conscience was still left behind the twisted mind. The younger Kim Dokja raised his hands up defensively. Behind him, Lee Sookyung was on the ground, coughing.

"Out of the way, Dokja-ya." Lee Sookyung stammered.

Kim Dokja's eyes brimmed with tears again as he glanced back. The expression on his mother's face was strong, but he had seen how she'd limp many times, or how she'd have to waste money on countless bottles of foundation. The kids at school barely cared anyways, so, how was it any different if his occasional wounds became a bit more frequent?

"Dokja!"

"Hyung!" Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung yelled. Kim Dokja felt invaded.

He knew he could trust these people, but why put a burden on them?

Kim Dokja bit on his inner lip, slowly closing the kids' eyes with a cold palm. Sure, they'd seen worse in the scenarios, but right now he posed as a parental figure. Like it had hurt him to see Lee Sookyung get beaten, the kids would too.

"Let us see," Shin Yoosung pressed her hands against his.

Kim Dokja couldn't find words, he cleared his throat.

As if Yoo Sangha knew the situation, she spoke up. "Gilyoung and Yoosung-ah, some things aren't meant to be just taken in."

The kids didn't let out a whine, they just silenced to listen.

Lee Hyunsung's palm felt beyond burning against him.

"Dokja!" Lee Sookyung moved and sharply groaned. Wordlessly the man exited the room as if something struck him. The little boy he had struck sat up with his lips trembling. "I'm fine," he whispered.

Lee Sookyung's face was horrified. She pushed herself despite the pain and wrapped her arms around Kim Dokja. The boy teared up and sobbed into his mother's shoulder again. He slowly pressed his hand against where he had been slapped.

"Since when did it start?" Lee Seolwha as if she was a therapist.

Kim Dokja just shook his head.

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking violently.]

The painting dissipated, leaving Kim Dokja feeling so exposed that he wanted to revert back to his old self and bury himself in the corner.

But instead, he swallowed his saliva and pushed the thoughts of using Way of the Wind, which he doubted would even work here.

Kim Dokja glanced at Yoo Jonghyuk, the man didn't look at him this time. Lee Jihye and Jung Heewon were silent as if they were expecting something happy.

"You don't have to keep watching, y'know?" Kim Dokja blinked.

He glanced at Han Sooyoung.

The woman looked away slightly embarrassed. "I thought I already told you about trauma, didn't I?" She asked. "No trauma can be passed as 'just' trauma."

Kim Dokja bit his lip from the inside. "I doubt anyone would blame you stop watching, considering the direction it is heading in."

The man looked beside him, Yoo Sangha looked back at him. She pursed her lip. "Dokja-ssi, it is all your choice."

These are the people who he has saved and wanted to continue saving, and Yoo Sangha and Han Sooyoung, both stood outside the box. He took a deep breath.

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall's shaking has begun to subside.]

This was indeed worse than Fourth Wall telling him everything that truly happened. He didn't want to see that, but. . .

"I'll watch." He murmured uncharacteristically.

"I'll allow you to hide behind my back this once," Han Sooyoung muttered.

A new scene painted itself.

[The Exclusive Skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking.]

The little boy stood in front of his mother again, stepping on the small line between his parents. His eyes were glassed, but he wasn't crying. Kim Dokja stuttered, "l-leave m-mother! P. . . please. . . " he was trembling, and spoke over the pleas of Lee Sookyung to stop.

A sharp sound of impact echoed in the room, and a stinging sensation started on Kim Dokja's cheek.

As if the conscience in the past was gone, his father struck again, harder this time, making Kim Dokja finally lose his balance and fall to the ground. His father kicked him again.

The boy still didn't cry.

'I can't cry. Can't let him get the best of me. The villain will only get pleasure when you show your suffering.' He thought back to books and what they showed him.

After two more kicks and him retching, his father left again. "I-I'm fine," he stuttered as his mother hugged him.

A few tears rolled down his cheek but and his lip trembled, but he stopped himself from shaking.

"My Dokja-ya, why? Please, hide, you're still young."

"What the heck?" Jung Heewon seethes as she watches the painting. "How. . . How can you just take it?" She asks. Yoo Sangha was shaking her head as she closed Lee Gilyoung's eyes. Kim Dokja already felt beyond invaded.

"Tell me, if you had no one other than one person who you trusted, would you not try to do anything to protect them?" Kim Dokja pursed his lips and looked down. Fourth Wall was shaking and he was being irrational. "I can't say how my feelings were exactly then, but what else could I do?"

Jung Heewon silenced, and the other's turned rigid.

A screen appeared in front of them.

[Second Record: Mistake or Mistake]

Chapter Text

[Second Record: Mistake or Mistake]

"Can you please stop covering my eyes, Ahjussi?" Shin Yoosung asked, patting Kim Dokja's hand. "Your hand is freezing."

Kim Dokja lowered his hands on the kid's eyes and sighed. "Hyung, are you okay?" Lee Gilyoung asked.

"I am."

Messages popped up in front of Kim Dokja, painfully so, all of them had the same thing, [confirmed your statement as false.]

"Dokja-ssi, why don't you. . . "

Kim Dokja guessed what Lee Seolwha wanted to say, he just shook his head in response. The fog filled itself with a memory again. It followed a slightly taller and in worse-condition Kim Dokja walking towards his house.

'If there was one thing I've learnt till now, it's that people don't care what's happening to you until it affects them, and when it does, it becomes a burden. A burden I'm tired of carrying, and wary of sharing with another.' The young Kim Dokja walked towards in house and stood in front of his porch. He opened the door in the same silent manner and closed it behind him.

Just as he was about to remove his shoes, a pair of hands clasped him, making him jolt at first before realizing they were his mother's. He blinked and looked at her in confusion. "Dokja. Get in here. Understood? Don't come out until Mother says you can." It was so sudden that the boy could barely process anything as he was pushed into the hallway and into his room.

His mother shot him a smile and turned around, closing the door gently.

Kim Dokja looked down.

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking violently!]

This wasn't good.

"Can I stand by myself?" He asked. Lee Hyunsung and the kids seemed hesitant, but let go of him when Yoo Sangha whispered something. Kim Dokja swallowed a lump in his throat and walked towards a corner of the room, sucking a waverly breath.

His lower lip trembled again. Once again, he was thankful to Fourth Wall.

Heavy footsteps echoed and the sound of yelling followed. The little Kim Dokja slowly opened the door and crept outside.

"No. . . " Shin Yoosung whimpered.

Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye gritted their teeth.

'I didn't know what I was thinking, or if I was thinking at all.' As the little boy walked in the hallway and approached the room, a prominent shout resonated in him. "Bring more alcohol!" Dokja peeked into the room, and his eyes widened. He pushed Lee Sookyung and hit her stomach.

Lee Sookyung exclaimed, "Y-You! Put down the knife and let's talk!" As Dokja's father held a knife threateningly.

Her eyes caught Dokja.

"Dokja! I told you to stay in your room!" She shouted and ran towards Dokja while the other man swung the knife threateningly. The man laughed in a sadistic manner, "You will die and I will die as well. Eh? Should we all die? Aren't we fucked up living together like this? Huh? Then let's die together!" And took a drunken step towards them.

Lee Sookyung threw her body forward. There was a sound and the man's body collapsing. A knife dropping to the ground, and alcohol flowing from a rolling wine bottle-

Everything blackened. "Huh?" Han Sooyoung sounded more satisfied that it had ended.

Maybe it was because Kim Dokja's memory and perspective about the event had changed?

[The Exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is unable to restrain much emotional trauma]

He had expected this.

A figure approached him in the corner of his eye and Kim Dokja unwillingly flinched. Yoo Jongyuk glared at him but said nothing, and just leaned against the wall. The fog began filling with the memory again and Kim Dokja shuddered silently, wrapping his arms around his white coat.

"U. . . uwak!"

The painting had many obscure spots and skipped to the part where a voice exclaimed, "Dokja. No! Put down that thing!"

Kim Dokja was crying. His eyes glassed and body trembled as he held a knife. 'How long? How long would this go on? How long would mother have to go through all of this?' His father laughed mockingly and took a swing.

He stepped on the beer bottle and slipped. . . blood emerged from his mouth and Kim Dokja had taken a step. Dokja sobbed more, his body shaking even more. "Dokja!" His mother called again.

Something snapped in Dokja and he dropped to the ground, crawling back while tears dripped from his eyes. A hand touched his shoulder and the boy yelped.

"Dokja. From now on, I will read all of this again." Lee Sookyung slowly said as she pulled the knife away from her son's shaking hands.

"Your father did something wrong and died. This was self-defense. Understood?" The words didn't do anything to soothe the boy who was in hysterics.

"No matter what, you must not forget that you are the victim."

Kim Dokja felt the same numb sensation in his body. His eyes were glued to the screen, as if in a daze he couldn't wake up from. It was dark. So different. if it really wasn't for Fourth Wall, was all his hatred even in the right place. Like the narration he thought the same thing. 'Someone has to live as a murderer. Someone else has to live as the son of a murderer.'

'Someone has to live as a murderer. Someone else has to live as the son of a murderer.' Lee Sookyung thought to herself as she tried soothing her son.

The woman slowly manipulated the evidence.

"Kim. . . Dokja." The voice felt far. Kim Dokja thought back to that moment again. Even if he didn't make that mistake, his life would be ruined regardless, would it not? So why? Why did his mother ruin her life, by indirectly ruining his?

"Kim Dokja."

His eyes felt heavy. He could have said something during the interrogation. He could've broken down and told everyone.

If he-

Two hands firmly shook his shoulders.

Kim Dokja blinked.

Yoo Jonghyuk was reading his expression. Expression?

Kim Dokja looked down, and Yoo Jonghyuk's glare intensified.

"I'm fine," Kim Dokja stubbornly croaked.

Yoo Jonghyuk's hands gripped his shoulders even tighter.

"It won't take lie detection to know you aren't, Kim Dokja," Yoo Jonghyuk said softly.

Kim Dokja blinked, maybe in this guy's first or second regression was the term 'softly' used to describe Yoo Jonghyuk's voice. Kim Dokja flinched again and felt something dribble next to his upper lip. He reached his hand to wipe it off.

Water stained his hand.

Yoo Jonghyuk didn't show a change of emotion, instead, the man just silently pulled Kim Dokja close to him, and. . .

Kim Dokja couldn't say it.

The. . . The Protagonist was. . . hugging him? This stubborn bastard sunfish. . . was hugging him?

His vision blurred again. After he just witnessed that? Kim Dokja wasn't okay.

[The character 'Yoo Jonghyuk' has activated Midday Tryst]

Yoo Jonghyuk:

You're too much like me.

Kim Dokja swallowed the lump in his throat. He smiled a bit. Yoo Jonghyuk just held him tighter.

It seemed like a weird mixture of untouched feelings. Things that were to be said but weren't and would not be.

The party was stunned by the sudden physical contact of the two most conserved people.

Han Sooyoung just smiled as Uriel's messages flooded over her instead of targeting the two dickheads.

But truly, how can someone with such care have such trauma? She gnawed on her lower lip and flopped on the velvety ground.

When she was writing, an anonymous tip had come to her that the kindest people are the most damaged. But to her, it was that the most damaged people are capable of putting up with anything with a kind face.

Kim Dokja still insisted he was fine.

This guy. . .

Han Sooyoung looked up when she heard a clothing shift. It was Yoo Sangha. "I. . . the story you told me?"

Kim Dokja felt heavy. Yet he found himself back in his adolescent mind, thinking, 'what would Yoo Jonghyuk do?' He just shook his head. What should he say? A wall told him the truth? His mother? Kim Dokja's jaw trembled.

"She. . . "

[The constellation 'One who Overcomes the Late Trials' doesn't know how to react.]

[The constellation 'Abyssal Black Flame Dragon' shows minute satisfaction towards the death.]

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is silent.]

"I understand what Sookyung-ssi meant, Dokja-ssi, it's just that, was the pause?"

Kim Dokja felt raw in front of his party members for the first time, knowing that they had an upper hand on him this time.

He averted his eyes and hid his face behind Yoo Jonghyuk's broad shoulders.

The only wall he had left.

Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung glared at Yoo Jonghyuk as they slowly took a seat.

Jung Heewon smiled a little at the two men, before Lee Seolwha tapped her shoulder. She turned around to see Lee Jihye already sitting on the floor looking away with a pale white light reflecting her face.

In front of Jung Heewon, Lee Seolwha sat down, and she followed.

Yoo Sangha and Lee Hyunsung sat down idly.

Han Sooyoung glanced at the two men and could admit, she was a bit jealous. Her offer for 'you can hide behind me' wasn't a joke.

She meant it.

The narrating voice spoke again, sounding a bit deeper, as if it had grown up from the childlike one.

The authorities had taken over the scene, blue and red lights flashing around, and standing idly, the young boy gazed past the countless journalists in front of him, waiting for an answer.

How could people be so. . . self-centered?

Someone died, and they cared about news and money? They would anyway twist his words.

Like his father had said, Dokja thought too, 'the world is a shitty place.'

Dokja looked down and up, swallowing slowly and glancing at a police officer. The officer noticed his gaze and said, "your mother's sentence is reduced. We've accounted for domestic abuse against your father."

The police officer took his hat off. "Your aunt will pick you up, it'll take a long time for this to be solved, but," the other man patted Dokja's head. "You're strong."

Strong?

'I. . . ' Dokja's lower lip trembled. 'I. . . I killed him."

He wanted to say something, admit something, but his voice deceived him.

Han Sooyoung gritted her teeth. These types of tragic pasts were what she was guilty of giving characters, but characters were characters. Kim Dokja was a real person.

A short ruffling of clothing made her look up.

Kim Dokja sat down beside her, with Yoo Jonghyuk to his other side.

"We're going to have a serious talk after this." Han Sooyoung stated as she watched the fog change scene again.

Kim Dokja didn't say anything in response, which irked her even more.

The blue screen labeled.

[Third Record: Consequences and Lies]

The party threw concerned looks at Kim Dokja one by one, leaving Yoo Sangha, Han Sooyoung, and Yoo Jonghyuk.

Of course, a climax always had an aftermath or epilogue.

She gnawed on the lollipop stick, tasting paper.

Chapter Text

The fog misted into a scene of the same boy, looking in an even worse condition.

Sitting in the locker room, closing a book and keeping it down, Dokja stared at his name on the school locker.

The fog faded into the same scene, however, this time, the once clear locker was covered with insults. And Kim Dokja looked around 13.

Dokja stared at the words. At a bit, he felt responsible, that they were directed at him and were for him. He was the killer, but why did 'son of a murderer' appear so much? He raised his head in alarm at the sound of footsteps and looked back down.

As long as they were words.

The person walked past him and sat down on the bench. "You're Kim Dokja, aren't you?"

Kim Dokja didn't even bother responding. The other boy unlocked his locker, his face was much mature, and he appeared older. "Your name is interesting."

Dokja picked up his backpack and put it on, slamming his locker. "Wait! I didn't mean it like that! Dok! It means 'reader' right? i always see you reading. Your name really does match your personality."

Dokja bit his lower lip and nodded with his back still against the other boy.

"Hyung. . . "

Shin Yoosung cleared her throat, "if I was born back then, I'd be Ahjussi's friend."

Kim Dokja looked down.

Those were just words.

[The exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is shaking.]

"He seems a bit nice," Jung Heewon tried.

Kim Dokja smiled bitterly, "he was."

The scene faded into a new one.

'The older boy without a name and I hung out many times, we didn't talk much, we just were quiet and acknowledged each other's comany.' Dokja awkwardly sat on a rooftop, nibbling on a plastic straw. Beside him, the other boy sat against the fence.

It was a sunny day, both of them shielded their eyes from the sun.

"I'm probably going to be held back, this year, Dokja-ah," the older boy murmured.

"Mhm." Dokja replied. "Hyung, are you okay?"

The older boy blinked, "is something wrong?"

Dokja shook of the bruise on the latter's neck which looked too much like a hand, it looked like the bruise his. . . Lee Sookyung had covered with foundation for him.

"So he was a bit like Dokja-ssi," Yoo Sangha muttered.

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' is contemplating how bad it will get]

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' apologizes for not saying much.]

"It's fine." Kim Dokja was surprised that Uriel responded at all.

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' says she wanted to give space.]

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is expressing great sorrow for your past.]

[1000 coins have been sponsored]

Kim Dokja frowned.

Did his expressions also become loose without Fourth Wall defending him?

[Many Constellations are surprised and sad]

Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung moved places so they could sit leaning against Kim Dokja. Han Sooyoung and Yoo Jonghyuk frowned slightly, but didn't complain.

Jung Heewon swallowed bitterly, she remembered someone like this from her own past.

"It doesn't get any better," Kim Dokja said slowly, accepting that it truly wouldn't change I he wanted to see this or not.

Dokja hadn't cried. He hadn't cried after his mother's arrest. But his eyes had teared up at the sight of someone who didn't even know. The nameless-Hyung was dead. Suicide, was the reason.

The boy stared through the hospital glass, watching as the nameless boy's older sister cried next to him. It had been around a few months from the previous incident, and he realized that the nameless-Hyung actually knew what it was like.

Being abused and shunned. It stung him.

Someone was in sorrow after the other's death.

It would just be passed on.

A death wouldn't matter until it affected you.

The News may just say that it was another suicide, the people will continue talking about why the suicide rate in teenagers was so high.

Dokja clenched his fist and wiped his tears.

Maybe it was just him.

Han Sooyoung also had a limit. She watched as Kim Dokja clenched his fist. This guy would make himself bleed, if nothing happened. So she did something.

Slowly and hesitantly, she rested her hand on Kim Dokja's, pursing her lips and avoiding the man's somewhat confused gaze. Her lips trembled slightly and she kept watching.

Only one understanding came to her mind as she saw the scars on the screen. He too, was like her, neglected and unable to cope.

It was unspoken. Writing and reading went together.

One read to space out of this world, finding solace in between words. The other wrote to reflect upon the darkness in the world, expressing themselves through characters that did not exist anywhere other than their mind.

And no matter how lavish one was, how okay they were, everyone had trauma. At least from what she could see. Her hand gripped Kim Dokja's hand, and she watched as the younger Dokja whispered a few words and began exiting the hospital.

Before the next scene played, Kim Dokja took his hand away and covered the kid's eyes, leaving them baffled once again.

Yoo Jonghyuk glared at him, but Kim Dokja could care less. These were the days when Ways of Survival wasn't there to guide him. There was no Yoo Jonghyuk who inspired him to act strong and keep a monotonous face.

But he still should've understood that there were better ways to cope.

A bathroom, dimly lit and silent, with the ticks of clocks and occasional taps of water. Dokja's face had been dripping with water, and he was taking slow breaths. The clock portrayed that it was around 2 in the night, and his eyes were red-rimmed.

His hands trembled and the boy occasionally shuddered. Dokja looked at himself in the mirror and looked back at the sink and his hands. A small blade, as if taken by breaking a sharpener. Dokja felt tears stream down his face once again as he brought the blade close to his arm.

Slowly-

Kim Dokja wanted to leave. Leave, but where?

The tensions in the room told him clearly that a long talk would come to after this. How could he possibly talk about this? There was nothing to talk about. He threw his life away once, but that was in the past, and now he couldn't just brush it off as he was 'kidding' or didn't mean it, because the evidence was right in front of them.

[The constellation, 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' is forlorn by your past]

Sun Wukong. . .

If only Kim Dokja could hide behind Yoo Jonghyuk again without saying anything.

Blood slowly began filling the scratch Dokja made on his shoulder. It was slow. First, it began with just a rough cut, and it slowly turned red and began filling with color. Dokja's eyes widened and he lowered the razor and pushed himself against the wall, pushing his fringes back and palling in the corner.

"Please stop looking at me," Kim Dokja rasped and slowly lowered his hands that covered the kids' eyes.

A blue holographic screen appeared in front of them.

[Time left: 19 hours

Intermission time: 20 minutes

Next Record: End and New Beginning]

The room brightened a bit, and the fog that filled the painting slowly began dissipating. No one said anything.

Chapter Text

The room was silent, too silent.

Yoo Jonghyuk didn't know how to respond. He never was on this end. It would always be Kim Dokja chasing him, responding to him, understanding him, but he. . .

He never understood Kim Dokja.

The man was a mystery. But had he tried to?

He never appeared in his previous regressions, and he had caved his way into Yoo Jonghyuk's heart, making a hole in and out multiple times.

To think such a self-sacrificial person would have such a tragedy behind their eyes.

He could only contemplate what was to come. The next Record claimed to be called 'End and New Beginning.'

This man. . .

Till now, when had Kim Dokja cried? Yoo Jonghyuk cried after he had killed Kim Dokja in the Dark Castle, but. . .

So much.

All his trauma had been accumulated over periods of regressions, but for the other man, so much trauma had been thrown at him in a single life, that too, as a kid.

The memory of Lee Sookyung stating that she wouldn't let him see Kim Dokja came back to his mind.

That woman too, she was strong.

Very strong.

Brave for herself and her son.

Leaving all that aside, Yoo Jonghyuk wondered if comfort would even be of help.

He glanced beside him, the two kids had piled on Kim Dokja and were sticking like leeches.

Yoo Jonghyuk could see the overwhelming feeling rise in the other's eyes. Whatever it was, if it was like a photo in an unmade film role, the photo was finally made.

Something that always covered Kim Dokja had been lifted.

"Hyung. . .?" Lee Gilyoung asked softly.

Kim Dokja wrapped his arms around the kids' backs and buried his head in between them. It was futile, but it covered his crying face.

"Shush," Shin Yoosung snapped at the boy.

Lee Gilyoung stuck his tongue out at her, and patted Kim Dokja's back in comfort.

"You were crying. . .?" Jung Heewon's voice made them look at the woman.

Lee Seolwha seemed a bit uneasy.

Lee Jihye looked away and rubbed her eyes. "Is it bad? Unnie, you were too." She pointed, letting out an airy laugh.

Jung Heewon sniffled once and wiped her face. The two of them eventually stuck to Lee Seolwha, just hugging the woman.

Yoo Sangha patted Lee Hyunsung slowly on the shoulder. "D-Dokja-ssi is so strong!" Lee Hyunsung whispered as he sniffled, slowly crying.

"He is, Hyunsung-ssi." Yoo Sangha agreed, not bothering to wipe the single tear that rolled down her cheek.

She had many times wondered, watching Kim Dokja keep to himself and read on his phone during their time at Mino Soft. Her first thought had been that he might be addicted.

Her second thought was that maybe the story was just interesting.

Yoo Sangha wanted to talk to Kim Dokja back then, but her tight schedule and the latter's unusual ways of disappearing never let her—until the fateful meet on the subway—which, if not for Han Myungoh stealing her bike, would have doubted her existence.

She owed her life to a man she barely knew.

What was she supposed to say? Lighting a match in the rain?

Yoo Sangha gazed at Han Sooyoung, and the woman glanced at her.

None of them would be here if it weren't for Kim Dokja.

She remembered the talk her and Lee Sookyung had had, the woman did so much to prevent Kim Dokja from hating himself, that she managed to shift even her own son's blame upon herself.

The kids were still huddled on Kim Dokja's lap, both of them hugging the man as he buried his head in their shoulders.

Yoo Sangha knew well that the phrase, 'we care about you,' might not be what Kim Dokja would want to hear, their actions would probably work. Her lower lip trembled.

The people in this room that were the closest to Kim Dokja would probably be Han Sooyoung, and maybe Jung Heewon, she couldn't confidently say it was herself. But right now, in this intermission, someone had to say something or Kim Dokja would probably think they're pitying him.

Kim Dokja was that kind of person.

A person.

"Lee Gilyoung-ah, Shin Yoosung-ah, can you come here?" She asked, smiling slightly towards Han Sooyoung. Comfort was one thing, and confirmation was another.

The kids looked in her direction and frowned.

Kim Dokja sat straight again, and the kids turned their attention to him, a smile plastering their faces. "Don't look at me, I'm fine, Lee Hyunsung-ssi also needs some comfort."

Lee Hyunsung's shoulder perked up in response, the man was about to turn around, but Yoo Sangha twirled a golden thread around him.

The kids appeared hesitant.

Han Sooyoung wanted to scoff about their attachment to Kim Dokja, but she couldn't bring herself to.

Maybe this was why Kim Dokja never spoke about his past. He didn't want pity.

The kids looked down, then at Yoo Sangha, and back at Kim Dokja again.

Awkwardness struck Han Sooyoung again. She was so used to Kim Dokja having to do something with leading the conversations, that she was subconsciously waiting for a queue for her to say something.

"I need to talk to this guy," she grumbled, locking narrowed eyes with Yoo Jonghyuk.

Shin Yoosung stood up, holding Lee Gilyoung's hands and slowly walking towards Yoo Sangha and Lee Hyunsung.

Han Sooyoung bit her tongue before she hit Kim Dokja on his back. "Say something."

It was straightforward, but she couldn't let the glue dry.

"Mhm, the past won't change."

"You sound like some stereotypical main character who's reached enlightenment after finishing something," she said. Her eyes slightly widened as she knew she had singled out someone.

Kim Dokja blinked blandly in her direction before turning to Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yoo Jonghyuk said nothing.

Han Sooyoung kept the impulse away from making an avatar and smacking Yoo Jonghyuk in the head.

"I don't see you any different, Kim Dokja."

Ah, hit the nerve.

A small smile and confirmation.

Kim Dokja smiled again, it was soft this time. "I know."

"Liar," Han Sooyoung nudged her shoulder against him.

"You're not gonna use lie detection? Sooyoung-ssi."

Han Sooyoung scoffed, did this guy think she depended that much on that skill.

[Lie detection can't confirm is statement is true or false]

The two of them looked at Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yoo Jonghyuk looked away.

"Hah? What do you mean it can't be confirmed?" She asked.

"I guess I was ready for whatever you thought? I don't know?" Kim Dokja murmured.

"Bastard you're scaring me, who the fuck are you?" Han Sooyoung asked.

Kim Dokja shook his head. "Really, Sooyoung-ssi, so many people have thought so much and said so much, that I wouldn't be surprised."

"Fuck them." Two voices said at once.

Han Sooyoung and Yoo Jonghyuk glanced at each other before narrowing down on Kim Dokja.

"Glad we agree on something, bastard," Han Sooyoung stared at Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yoo Jonghyuk grumbled.

Kim Dokja smiled a bit again, before heavily sighing.

"Back then it was lonely." Kim Dokja admitted. "I don't know why I'm saying this, but there are infinite things that I could've done differently."

"Don't be a hypocrite, you just said 'the past won't change,' didn't you?" Han Sooyoung muttered, nudging Kim Dokja again.

They silenced.

Regret. Han Sooyoung regretted not saying many things, things that would've prevented her from being so lonely. Yoo Jonghyuk regretted not being able to save people in his past regressions.

Kim Dokja regretted. . . Han Sooyoung wasn't sure. Even if his father didn't die, his life would continue to be broken.

So?

They glanced at the timer, there were 8 minutes left.

[The constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire's nudges incarnation 'Yoo Jonghyuk' to make a move]

[The constellation 'Secretive Plotter' scoffs]

[1200 coins have been sponsored]

Han Sooyoung rolled her eyes, and finally rested her head on Kim Dokja's shoulder. "Can I see your hand?" She asked quietly.

Kim Dokja rested his hand in her arms. Han Sooyoung raised the sleeves of his white coat and stared at the light marks of razor that once grazed his skin.

She said nothing.

"Think of it as battle marks." Yoo Jonghyuk, once again, surprised both of them by saying the words.

It was surely easier for Yoo Jonghyuk to say, since he himself had so many scars on his arms, acquired by fighting relentless battles.

Yoo Mia had once said that, when he inwardly got insecure about them, so had Lee Seolwha in his past regression.

Maybe it was worth reminding Kim Dokja that he survived.

Yoo Jonghyuk watched in a slit, Han Sooyoung leaning against Kim Dokja and muttering something.

"If you don't mind, Dokja-ssi, may I ask a question?" Yoo Sangha asked.

Kim Dokja nodded.

"Did you visit Sookyung-ssi anytime?"

One of his regrets.

"No. . . "

"Mn."

"Leaving that, Dokja-ssi!" Lee Hyunsung looked at Kim Dokja with a proud face that Military generals would show when the soldiers did well.

"You're wonderful! Amazing!" The kids had joined Lee Hyunsung in this.

Han Sooyoung and Yoo Jonghyuk glanced at each other before looking at Kim Dokja.

Kim Dokja had a stiff face for a moment, before his lips quirked into a known smile. A soft voice bubbled from his mouth, accompanying the light quivers of his shoulders.

He paused by smiling.

"You better take care of yourself, dumbass, or we'll have Lee Seolwha-ssi paralyze you." Jung Heewon stated.

"Ahjussi has Way of the Wind though," Lee Jihad pointed out.

"We'll—"

"Thank you."

Everyone looked at Kim Dokja. The man smiled lightly.

[Time left: 19 hours

Intermission time: 20 minutes

>Time remaining: 4 minutes

Next Record: End and New Beginning]

"Ah, we're not kidding!" Lee Jihye said loudly, waving her hand over her head frantically.

"I know."

[Lie detection has confirmed statement as true]

Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja looked at Yoo Jonghyuk again. This time the man had turned away from them with his body.

"Three minutes." Lee Hyunsung breathed.

Kim Dokja glanced at Yoo Sangha, and wondered what she thought.

He swallowed.

This would be his first time seeing himself die.

Kim Dokja had been there, done that, but had never seen it.

A few quiet talks went by, most of which were just small talks, everyone being in extreme anticipation.

[Intermission time period over]

[Playing Fourth Record: End and New Beginning]

Humid fog began filling the room again.

Chapter Text

The fog painted a picture of the same boy, standing in a classroom. It cleared up a bit, but still stayed hazy.

Sometimes the words got to him. Sometimes they didn't.

But at times, they were just there, etching reality into Kim Dokja's mind as he stared at them.

[Murderer's son]

[Only child]

Words that he cleaned up.

"That's. . . "

They just cleared their throats as the scene changed.

Occasionally was it, that he'd get to eat lunch in peace. Sometimes the appetite loss would end him.

Dokja yawned and sat in one of the back seats, fiddling with his hands, ignoring the grumble in his stomach.

It wasn't too bad.

Not until—

Han Sooyoung felt Kim Dokja clench his hands again.

Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung settled against Lee Hyunsung, resting their heads gently.

"Dammit, I would've beat them up," Lee Jihye seethed.

[ The Constellation Father of the Rich Night is taking a deep breath ]

[ The Constellation Abyssal Black Flame Dragon agrees with incarnation Lee Jihye ]

It wasn't that bad at first, words were thrown around, but no one dared to touch Dokja, fearing him being the murderer's son.

Not until someone punched him in the shoulder did the physical bullying begin.

That too, Dokja could endure, his father did worse.

[The scene dissipated into Dokja silently accepting another punch]

Dokja wasn't weak. He could fight back if he wanted. But his body froze up, whenever a hand was raised in his direction.

"Over dramatic," kids would often say. Middle school, again, was the phase when no one understood no one.

Maybe that's why it had led him to such harsh decisions.

As the bullying continued, so did his urges to find an escapee.

He had stopped reading.

"I'll have to say, middle school was horrible," Han Sooyoung muttered, recalling memories.

Jung Heewon agreed. "Early years of as adolescents."

Lee Hyunsung watched the boy in the dusky scene. The Kim Dokja then and now were so different.

There had to be something that cured the trauma, right?

High school began not too long after, it. . . It wasn't good. Dokja hated it, but he couldn't step back.

The bullying here was less than what had occurred at home, but it stood as an everyday factor. A fear.

Why would someone just physically harm someone else? Dokja wondered but never understood.

In the past, it would be the books that'd answer such questions for him. For example, why were his mother and he abused?

He knew the answer. People would choose ways to cope, not all ways were good. Some were bad, bad such as losing your senses to alcohol and drugs, cigarettes and sleep deprivation, and sometimes overwhelming anger which can't be contained through the coping mechanisms would be pushed onto others.

But these kids appeared fine.

They had proper lunch, slept soundly, were strong, had money.

He didn't assume they were, though.

Maybe a part of him was still immature—naive, believing that something good existed.

"Ay, what are you staring at?" A deep voice questioned and Dokja blinked. He averted his eyes.

If it wasn't for his aunt's lack of attention to the topic, he could've gone to a new school and started fresh.

But no, he had to get stuck with the same people.

A shadow fell upon Dokja's desk. The boy looked up to see someone.

"Song Minwoo?" Han Sooyoung scowled.

"Yeah."

[The constellation 'One who Overcomes the Late Trials' is watching the origin of trauma.]

[Constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is silent]

[The Constellation 'The Queen of the Darkest Spring' is silent]

"He looks like a bastard," Lee Gilyoung blurted.

No one said anything against him.

Kim Dokja clicked his tongue.

[Pages fluttered through the room, ghosting through everyone sitting, making Lee Jihye and a few others flinch in response.]

[More pages kept fluttering in front of them until it finally revealed a scenery.]

"No."

Someone said it. Maybe it was Kim Dokja himself, not wanting to see what was to come, or it could be one of his party members, wanting to hopelessly deny the happening of such.

[A single page fluttered away from them, slowly lifted in the wind.]

It looked so surreal. The emotions welled up inside Dokja were already threatening to spill.

He stood on the ledge of the building, shoes off and hands to his sides.

The world was shit. His father had already said that—so many times. Dokja couldn't agree less.

A cold wind slowly blew past him, lifting his sweatshirt slowly, and pushing his hair out of his eyes.

It was dusk, with the sun setting and casting a deep orange hue over the city.

Today, a fifteen-year-old boy would end his life to run away from the dangers of the world.

Han Sooyoung tightened her grip on Kim Dokja's arm. Once again, as a writer, she was acutely guilty of writing such scenes.

Her head ached.

She knew Kim Dokja would survive. But why did she feel afraid? "I'm gonna slap you after this, bastard." She whispered to Kim Dokja, her voice sharp.

She knew that this wasn't his fault. But if Kim Dokja dwelled on the past. . .

"Please do." Kim Dokja replied.

"I'll hit you as well." Yoo Jonghyuk added, coldly. He had also gotten fairly close to Kim Dokja, it was unspoken, but concern had gripped him.

Freedom.

Dokja cried softly.

"Yoo Sangha-ssi," Kim Dokja whispered.

Yoo Sangha looked at him with a hard expression before nodding and covering Lee Gilyoung's eyes while Lee Hyunsung closed Shin Yoosung's. The kids didn't fight this time, instead, they just leaned into the adults.

The tensions in the room were high, all of them had witnessed Kim Dokja die on multiple occasions. Starting from the Fire Disaster, continuing to Dark Castle where the man sacrificed himself. They didn't know why he did, maybe he cared for them too much, or he knew that this death, too, could be undone.

But seeing such a boy, willing yet reluctant to die, standing on the horizon of life and death was too much.

Lee Jihye had already begun tearing up.

"The world is shit." Dokja took a step ahead. His body shook harshly. 'Maybe there is a place after death? Isn't that what all books have in common? Beliving the dead one is in a better place?'

Perhaps.

His body lessened to trembling as he gazed up.

Another step.

He closed his eyes as he took the final step.

Dokja didn't feel ground beneath his foot, and the sensation of falling caught him. The wind whipped against his body and-

[Pages of books fluttered again, covering the bloody scene.]

The room silenced again, as the darkening of the memories in the fog darkened the room. Han Sooyoung squeezed Kim Dokja's hand tightly. Till now, whenever Kim Dokja would stray away from them, the group's togetherness would scatter as well.

Yoo Jonghyuk felt the urge to repeat the action he had done prior. It seemed to have helped Kim Dokja back then, to calm down. Maybe he'd do that in a while.

Lee Jihye was sobbing, while clutching Jung Heewon's hand. Lee Hyunsung removed his hands from Shin Yoosung's eyes to wipe his tears off.

[Constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' is sobbing]

[Constellation 'Demon-like Judge of Fire' says she will never stop watching over you.]

[2000 coins have been sponsored]

[Constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' is sighing deeply]

[Constellation 'Prisoner of the Golden Headband' says 'don't dwell on what happened']

[ Constellation queen of the darkest spring is silent ]

Yoo Jonghyuk frowned, he clenched his fist, anxiety dawning upon him at the silence.

A silent voice made all their heads perk up in darkness, Kim Dokja looked down.

"I wanted to die. But yet. . . I wanted to live? It's a conflicting feeling, really. Hah. Life is truly unfair."

"So you earn the ability to resurrect and start dying? I find unruly irony in this." Han Sooyoung muttered. "It feels like your wish was granted in the most unexpected way."

Kim Dokja smiled a bit. "Dead but alive. That's what had happened after dark castle."

Yoo Jonghyuk stiffened at the mention of that.

He still regretted it.

Maybe if he was strong enough, he could've pushed Kim Dokja aside and saved him the pain.

But he couldn't. Instead, he was forced to kill someone who he considered as his first companion. His jaw clenched and his fingers entwined themselves harshly. His eyes closed and opened slowly.

Light color began filling around the room again. "Ahjussi. . . "

A blur of light. That's all Dokja saw for a start. He could hear the faint beeps of something and the slow thumps of his own heart-

He gasped and sat up in a jolt.

Pain filled his ribs and his head felt light with harsh pain.

Disoriented, but still conscious, he gazed around him. IVs were attached to his body, and many bandaids wrapped his body, multiple bruises were on his body on countless places. He turned his neck-

A sharp pain filled the move.

Dokja shuddered and looked straight. A hospital, the lights were dimmed as to it was night, but it still had that sickening white glow to it, and reeked with the scent of antiseptics.

The door leading to the hospital room burst open, and two nurses ran in. "Thank heavens," one of them whispered.

Dokja tried to find a voice, but his throat was too dry. One of the nurses moved swiftly to grab a cup and fill it with water.

She sat down on a stool beside the other nurse and placed the plastic cup on a side table. "We need you to calm down, Kim Dokja-ah." She said and rested her arms on her thighs.

Dokja blinked at them in confusion, before reality slowly began dawning upon him. He tried swallowing but his mouth was still parched.

He was still in this shitty place.

Even though every part of his body screamed with pain, Dokja reached for the cup and stared at the water. He felt the same overwhelming feeling return to him.

Beep.

The heart monitor beeped at the spike.

"Dokja-ah, please calm down." One of the nurses said softly.

Dokja drank the water, feeling a tingling sensation run through his mouth.

He placed the cup back in place and opened his mouth to say something. "How long have I been here?" He rasped.

The nurses seemed hesitant. "a week and a half."

Dokja kept the urge away to slap his forehead.

"How long?"

"The doctor suggests a month more, and-"

The other nurse elbowed the one who was speaking.

If they were going to suggest a therapist, it wouldn't work anyways. His aunt didn't have much money, and would not spend money for something like therapy.

"When's the quickest I can leave?" He asked again.

"W-well, we'll ask away, Dokja-ya," the two of them stood up, "please calls us if you need anything. Sleep, and rest."

Once they left, Dokja stared at his hands. His palms were still littered with small scabs.

But regardless of anything, the only thought to his mind was:

'Why am I alive?'

"Dokja-ssi. . . "

Kim Dokja gnawed on his lower lip. The past is useless.

[The exclusive skill, 'Fourth Wall' is trembling]

It was better. The more he accepted, the stronger Fourth Wall became.

Or, it was because he knew that his life would be saved afterwards.