Ch5-Goodbye My Love

'10,9,8,7...'

"ZIAN!GRAY!"

'Fuck, not again!' Zian frowned with despair .

Zander's army buddies had once again rescued him from almost certain death.This time he even got himself a task that would almost certainly kill him at his current level.

When his brother and mother died the only way he survived and overcame that loss was thanks to Zander . Sometimes he felt so empty and alone that he would purposely put himself in danger. He just wanted to die! He didn't want to feel this soul -wrenching pain and loneliness anymore.

It was only when Dion a fiery ,bad-tempered sharp shooter on Zander's team punched him in the face that he woke up from his reckless streak.

" How dare you! How dare you try and die when King died to save you! It was your fault running after that b*tchy bimbo! Yet, he still ran after you! Don't you know how he felt about you? You heartless bastard!" Dion screamed as if he were possessed.

Ryan came and grabbed Dion around the waist to stop him from further beating him.

" Lance, Lance stop! Dion stop it! "

" Ry, tell the spineless bastard! Give him Zander's letter!"

Dion breathes rapidly before tears shorn in his eyes . He was full of grief and angry at Zander's death.

" What letter?" Zian asked flabbergasted.

+++

In end after much begging and threatening he finally got Zander's letter addressed to him from his time in the army from before the apocalypse. Zander also left him his car, weapons and supplies in the event of his death.

Zian was at first hesitant about opening the letter but he was too greedy.He had been spoiled by Zander's warmth and now he felt so empty he needed something to feel alive again. Zander was so many things to him a mentor, confidant, brother and best friend after all.

It was after reading that letter he changed. He decided to live for the sake of his niece and sister . For the sake of Zander's memory and sacrifice.

[

Dear Zian,

The army always encourage us to write our last letter so that we may leave no regrets behind but I think that everyone regrets leaving the the people they love behind.

My Zee, I don't know how to say and confess this but if I'm gone and dead this is the last and only way for me to tell you this...

Maybe it's selfish to burden you with this but I feel like I won't be at peace if I don't.

I love you. Not in a platonic way like a brother or friend but in a romantic way. I'm in love with you.

I know you would ask why, when and how but I have no answers. Maybe it was a an accumulation of feelings over the years. The only thing I know is that when we went on that skiing trip after your senior year was the time I became aware of my feelings. It wasn't an instant or shocking realization . When we were drinking got chocolate by the fire and I realized I would never want or love another person the way I love you.I dreamt of putting a ring on your finger...

I know it's the cowards way out that I never told you this in person but I didn't want to ruin our relationship. At one point I foolishly thought you could return my feelings but you were with Chelsea and I realized you would never see me anything more as a friend. That day after Valentines Day when I came to visit you was the hardest for me and I swore I would never confess my feelings and make you feel uncomfortable. I'm so sorry for breaking that promise.

Zee, my greatest wish is and will always be to see you happy. So please don't miss me too much or be sad. Don't be angry at yourself for not knowing my feelings . I was the problem.Not you, never you.

You are the light of my life and I will never regret loving you. Take care of yourself. Ali ,Bree and your father need you and love you very much.

So, my little wolf good bye and good luck. I wish you all the happiness and love in the world.

I'll keep Yang and Aunt Ning company.

With all the love, in my heart,

Zander]

+++

Zander was alive. Zian's heart was sour-sweet. This time he would make Zander happy and give his all to him just like how Zander gave his all to him.

He wasn't sure that he loved Zander romantically but he was sure that he could never love a person that wasn't Zander. Zander became an obsession in his mind . He always imagined what could have gone differently if he wasn't an idiot. One of these scenarios included them being lovers...

If in this life Zander still loved and wanted him he would agree. Not only for Zander's sake but his own. Like an abandoned dog he yearned to Zander 's True and sincere warmth. He was not willing for Zander to love somebody besides himself. As he said he was a greedy and selfish person.

In the time of the apocalypse he didn't have to worry about anyone opposing as homosexuality was the norm. Women were always hidden and protected on top of that they were too troublesome as there were to few women left. Those ones who were ability users were powerful and did not want to be tied down by one man.The ratio of men to women was 10:1.

Now before dealing with his feelings and facing Zander again he needed to prepare for the apocalypse as well as get his revenge...