The Moment It All End

Bip Bip

Biiiiiip

Well...it might be sudden but I died.

I hoped for a miracle till the last moment but nothing.

Isn't it sad? It would be normal for a 17 year old to play games with his friends. To study in a school. To pass time with his family. Sadly I've bever been normal, I'm here dying alone jn this hospital room.

Wouldn't you be angry in my position? To die such a sudden and unexpected death.

Well you might be but I'm not, in my life I've lost everything so my life is just another thing adding to the list. I said I lost everything. I lied. I still have something. Hope. The only thing I remember about my childhood is a frase: "Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us."

I don't remember who said this to me, maybe my mother or my father before they abandoned me in that shitty orphanage. Maybe I heard it from TV or from a radio. Or maybe none said this to me and I have invented it.

But I don't care right now.

I only have hope and hoping is what I'm doing. Hoping that my next life would be batter than this one. Something very easy to have.

...

Have you ever wondered how death feels?

At this moment I might be able to answer your question.

It's dark.

Very very dark.

Darker than the darkest things you can imagine.

In this space you can't see, you can't ear, you can't feel, you can't taste, you can't even smell.

Here you are nothing and nothing is around you.

While I was alive it happened to me thinking about death.

Is it cold? Some say it's like travelling in a cold sea.

Is there something in the afterlife? Some say there is a place were you will live forever with people that, like you, are dead.

Will I be judged? Some say that in base on what you did in life you will be awarded or punished.

Well now that I'm dead I'm certain, those ideas where just utter bullshit.

Here there's nothing, but it's not cold, here there's none judging you with some stupid authority they got from birth.

In this place there's none near you, you are just...

Lonely.

The majority of people will despair, living...no, not living, be forever alone is scary.

Well...for most of the people...

But not for me.

In my view this place is

Beautiful.

I've never "seen" such a beautiful place in my life

Here you don't have worries. Here none nobody can look down on you and you don't have to work harder than everyone else only to have your word stolen.

I'm thinking something strange now. I'm thinking that this might be the best place for me. For me, who had nothing for all his life and git used to it, nothingness is the best.

I lied again.

I can still feel it somewhere inside of me.

I can still feel that little spark of hope.

Hope to finally have something.

Hope to finally be...alive.