Chapter One: ThereSheBlows!

"You know, being a restrained person can be an absolute bitch sometimes. Like I don't mean the I'm not gonna eat this candy bar kind of restrained but the eternal rock sitting at the pit of your stomach, the kind that you use when your emotions get high and you're afraid of feeling, you know what I mean? I've got no right to complain, I do it to myself, but fuck if I don't want to punch some bloke in the god damn face until it looks like mash potatoes slathered with ketchup. I know I'm a little fucked up, but isn't everyone? There's gotta be at least one other person out there that feels the same and judging by the multitude of people in our modern society suddenly going absolutely apeshit out of nowhere, I think I'm right."

"So how are you feeling?"

"Meow." The small black cat began lathering its dainty white paws like a 400lb man on McDonald's French fries.

The young man sighed. "Yeah, I know you're an un-complex creature with only three modes of being. Eating. Shitting. And sleeping.

"Meow."

"Oh right, sorry, I forgot whoring yourself out to the closest human with fingers."

"Meowww."

"No, I'm not going to apologize, I meant it."

"M.E.O.W"

"Frankly I don't care if you give me an ultimatum, there are plenty of other small furry creatures out there to talk to."

"Meow."

"Now that's just hurtful. Oh and for Christ's sake can someone please turn off that fucking breeze, I'm going to shit an iceberg." The young man rubbed his arms back and forth, trying to iron out the cold. The man and the small feline were sitting atop a rusted iron beam, dislodged from what was presumably a bridge at one point but was now a series of uncomfortable benches and ruddied pillars. It was a December night, and besides the occasional ray of moonlight piercing through the overcast cloud cover, one could only see the small flickering lamp between the two and the frosted breaths escaping the man.

"You know, I think playing this game at all proves how fucked up I am, ya know." The man looked up at the sky, heavily exhaling streams of vapor into the stale air. "I think I might be some kind of masochist."

"By the way, have you ever noticed how the moon looks like cheese?"

"Meow."

The man looked over his shoulder towards the sitting cat. "What do you mean that's cliche? It's a perfectly reasonable question."

"Meow."

"You're just angry about earlier."

"…"

BOOM! POP!

The air next to the man's head was suddenly displaced, his left ear rang in pulsating waves leaving only his right ear to hear a large flock of unseen birds suddenly scatter off their perches and the clang of the failed attack ricocheting off of a beam behind him. "Fuck, can't I ever get a break."

Quickly rolling off the beam, the man sprinted towards another that had been lodged at a vertical angle only a few feet ahead. Ducking behind the pillar he began stretching his shoulders while muttering. "Damn cold… shoulders so stiff… need a cigarette."

POP!

"Really?! Only amateurs fire without a clear shot dumb ass!" The man flicked his wrist up and a small blue holographic display appeared before his outstretched hand. Quickly navigating the menu, a modified m4 appeared in his outstretched hands and a few other weapons in various locations on his body. The hologram disappeared.

"Guess it's playtime." The man picked up a small shard of glass from the ground and making sure that the glare from the moon was enough to get a reflection in the direction he wanted, made a quick gesture with his hand. Another version of himself appeared behind the pillar through assembling holographic particles. Motioning towards the open field, the man's copy quickly scurried out of cover, into the shooter's line of sight.

The man lifted the piece of glass around the side of the pillar, looking back towards where he thought the shooter might be.

BANG!

The man's copy fell to the ground, deconstructing into millions of small blue lights leaving only the cool mud below.

"Gotcha fucker." The man caught the sight of muzzle-flash up in a third-story window in some old brick apartment building only a few hundred feet away. "Either this guy is inexperienced and can't properly shoot someone or he's short on equipment for proper long-range engagements, either way, he's fucked."

The man quickly threw a piece of rubble out behind cover and sprinted the opposite way, ducking and weaving behind the rusted pillars standing in the field.

BOOM! BANG! TING!

A series of shots rang out as dirt got kicked up behind the man.

BANG!

"Shit!" Just as the man came within a few feet of the building one of the last bullets grazed his arm, leaving a thin stinging wound on his tricep. The man's face suddenly warped into a mask of cold rage. "Someones crying home to mommy tonight."

…

The man and the small black cat happily lazed around on the roof of the brick building.

"Seriously though, doesn't the moon look like cheese?"

"Meow."

"What do you mean that's already been established? I don't know how you feel. People have differing opinions that don't coincide with pop culture all the time; right Bob?" The man turned back towards the dead body of his assailant, propped up by a stick tied to his back.

"Why yes, that's completely true John, I don't think there's anyone on the entire planet that is a smart as you, John!"

"See."

The black feline looked completely unimpressed.

"Yeah whatever, at least I don't lick myself."

"Meow."

"Oh shut up you overgrown fur ball; speaking of overgrown, that co-worker of mine mentioned a cool new game coming out, wasn't that today? I think he reserved a spot for me. I feel like it started with an A or maybe a U, some kind of vowel. Whatever, I'll think about it tomorrow. Alright, see ya later whitey."

"Meow."

"What do you mean, you hope not? Just shut the fuck up, you know you enjoy it." The man flicked his wrist up again, navigating to a different page than before on the blue display.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOG OUT, JOHN KENNEDY?

Y/N

Clicking yes, John's body began to fade, and the small black cat was left alone with dead Bob atop the abandoned brick building.

…

Ring. Ring. RING!

"Ah! Fuck! I didn't mean to spill the punch!"

A young man woke suddenly, rolling off his bed in a very ungraceful manner, leaving his furry peach visible to a thin ray of golden morning light, peeking through the blinds of his window. "It's so warm, what is that?"

RING!

Completely awake now, the slightly chubby young man quickly stood up on his dusty floorboards. His room was a mixture of, in his own words, form, and functionality.

The walls were a tasteful beige, but you wouldn't know that due to the towering pillars of anime and light novel manuscripts he had printed off illegally from the internet, covering three of his four walls. The young man, John, took great pride in his collection, he had even hand-drawn a cover for every single book and series.

Off in the corner opposite to his small futon, beside the window, was a large cabinet filled with figurines he had collected and often prayed to in times of need, such as the cute but sexy Inko-chan when he was in need of spiritual guidance or the tall and serious Hina-san when he ran out of money for rent.

But his most prized possession, the thing he had singularly saved for, the thing he had sweat blood and tears for two whole years to acquire, was his virtual reality headset, which had been sat in the middle of the room upon a pedestal.

RING!!!

"Fine! I'm coming! Who gets up at this god-forsaken hour anyway!" He had one analog clock in his room leftover and forgotten from a bygone era which read, 11 a.m.

…

John's apartment was somewhat old but relatively well built. He had two floors; his bedroom on the second, his other rooms on the first. He had a study, where he kept his more, presentable, books, a kitchen, bathroom, etc… and a front door which he was at now, about to blow a gasket.

"Yes?" Opening the door, John's dark musty apartment was suddenly inundated with color, the apartment seemed to glow with joy at its reunion with a long-lost friend, the sunshine.

A man in a nicely pressed black suit, stood at the entrance, looking down at a holographic display. The man looked up at the door opening and smiled. "Ah, good morning Mr. Kennedy, I'm with NervaInc, I'm here to oversee the installation process. Please sign here to confirm that we have arrived and will be installing your equipment shortly."

"Do wha, installation of what?"

The NervaInc representative laughed. "Why, your NervaPod Mr. Kennedy, surely you remember signing up and paying for such expensive equipment. You even ordered our unlimited lifetime network package, with upgraded internet speeds, access to our several media sources and shows, as well as an access key to our new game, EternalRealmsOnline."

"Ah, sorry, I think you've got the wrong guy."

The NervaCorp representative smiled. "No, sorry, that's not possible. We clearly have your address, name, occupation, etc… right here in our files. Even if this is somehow a fluke, it's a miracle that you should grab onto not push away, after all, you won't be paying a dime, everything is already taken care of. So please sign this, the day has only just begun after all and I've got plenty more pods to deliver as I'm sure you can imagine."

"So even if it turns out you guys have made a mistake, I won't get in trouble?"

"No, of course not Mr. Kennedy, our company takes full responsibility for any and all blunders in these types of situations, even if it were discovered that we had made a mistake, the pod, internet, everything is yours free of charge, so there really is no reason to refuse."

John scratched the back of his head. "Well, I guess I really can't refuse now can I? where do I sign?"

"Here. Here. And here, yes that's right. Thank you for your cooperation, we at NervaInc hope to receive your continued patronage for many years to come!"

"Yeah yeah, so how are you gonna get the pod in here?"

BOOM!

"What the hell was that!" John looked past the NervaInc representative but could only see a black van with the NervaInc logo printed on the side and a few of what looked like construction workers with the same logo loitering outside near the street.

The NervaInc representative smiled calmingly. "Oh, don't worry about that, it's just a part of the process."

"A part of the process?"

The NervaInc representative continued to smile. "Yes, a part of the process."

John frowned. "May I see this process?"

The NervaInc representative continued to smile. "That would not be advised."

"Why not."

The NervaInc representative continued to smile. "That is not a part of the process."

"I'm gonna look."

"I'd rather you, not sir."

"Are you telling me what I can a cannot do in my own home?" John raised an eyebrow.

"No sir, just advising you as to the most reasonable course of action."

John turned away from the representative and then quickly sprinted through his apartment, bounded up the steps, and flung open his bedroom door, where, to his horror, his windowed wall now no longer existed and a large yellow crane stood with a large sleek black obelisk to its end.

Watching the crane slowly maneuver the pod into his bedroom, slack-jawed, John's eyes slowly widened in horror, as the pod came to rest in the air, just above his virtual reality headset.

"NO! Wait, please, stop right this instant you mother fucking son of a bitch!!!"

The crane didn't seem to hear the profanities spilling from John's lips, or see the snot and tears trailing down his face as he ran towards it as best he could with his oversized gut swaying against his body mass.

C.R.U.N.C.H!

John fainted.

…

"Please Mr. Kennedy, this was all just a big misunderstanding."

John sat in his living room, on a small chair, wrapped in a blanket. He stared into a small glass of water, held in his shaky hand. "I'm gonna sue."

The NervaInc representative smiled apologetically. "Ah sorry, but you can't do that, you signed those documents earlier which stated that you understood we might need to make changes to the current structure of your home and that any damage incurred during said process could not be used as grounds for any lawful action on your part against our company. Look on the bright side though, you have a new wall that was installed during your short sleep, and your new pod, which you received for free, might I add, is by far, more superior than your old headset."

John continued to stare at his glass of water. "Just please, get out."

The NervaInc representative coughed. "Um, well, if you have any questions please just call the number on this card. I'll be going now, have a nice day Mr. Kennedy." A small black card was left on John's living room table.

"Shit."