64 Chapter 63 - Dark Memories

Lind still felt sore but was now back in personal quarters. His original quarters were heavily damaged by him, somehow he did not understand, and thus had been granted a new suite in a tower closer to the administration buildings of the Academy. Part of that was in case his new roommate needed the healing facilities.

Lind felt odd about having a roommate, period, but it did not help that she was a beautiful woman. Her robes were very baggy compared to most women he had encountered in his life, including little kids too who usually ran wild. Her eyes looked pale gray but at times gave a flicker of pale blue or green. Lind was really unsure what their actual color was. It was interesting though. Her hair was a vivid blonde compared to anyone he had yet to meet. Earth would call it platinum blonde but the lack of dyes meant this was a natural hair color.

His herb garden had survived his possession and so had his puzzles thankfully. The physical confirmation that Cyntilla was the one giving them to him left one mystery Lind had realized. Anyone could snatch his gifts but they were left alone. Ignoring him was far different from removing packages outside his quarters, yet not one had been missing from the short time he had to ask Cyntilla.

She was curious about it as well, but they could no longer talk to each other per the edicts of Darkmoor. The loophole of his possession apparently only stretched so far. Qing was settling in one of the rooms as Lind did not need them all. He was likely the only Soul Realm to have a World Realm roommate in the entire academy. World Realms generally might act as a guardian of special people but only in a limited fashion on academy grounds.

Lind blushed as he realized how weak he was feeling emotionally. It was like his normal steady control was shattered and only a delicate pane of glass remained as his thoughts seemed to jump all over. He took a calming breath but did not cultivate. He was forbidden from cultivating for another week to be safe. Although his meridians and dantian were fine, it was far too early to put his body through cultivation.

His finessed control of his Qi helped his healing immensely, but only so much could be sped up for this process. The elixir he drank was the only reason he was alive according to the healers but he did not explain the strange resurgence of his blood right after his possession and the senior that drove the demons off was given credit.

Lind was very concerned about that last part. Younger Twin had never set foot outside the store so far as he knew and the rules Lind had studied indicated the space inside the shop was the only place Younger Twin could safely exist. If it stepped outside or exerted itself, it could not recover. It was not a cultivator, only an Immortal Will left behind somehow in a mortal world. He wanted to check but Lind got tired too quickly still even 3 weeks after his incident.

"What are these?" Lind turned to find Qing looking at his puzzles. He smiled and picked up a mortal one that did not require Qi as he manipulated the blocks to unlock the hollow inside. A glint of minerals revealed some simple grade 1 materials he had put in there. It was mostly for making tea but would not spoil as it was used to add to the fire making the tea. Qing arched her eyebrow but made no other comment.

Lind felt odd looking at her. She was closed off once again but for a moment in the medical suite, Lind had felt so close to her. There was something in her eyes that drew him in and he recognized it so intimately that his own walls had fallen down and answered her questions openly.

Lind knew others were aware of the darkness behind his birth and his siblings, but he did not speak of it to anyone save Teylin over a year ago. His own mother was not talking to him about it save stories about his aunt that Lind happily absorbed like a sponge. Kor had been right there crying as he learned about his mother.

Lind pushed it away as he started to brew some tea and cook simple food. Qing made no comment but quietly took over stirring the tea as the food demanded more attention. The humble moment was broken by her next words.

"Do you know much about heart demons?" Lind nearly froze but he carefully tamped down the fire in his hearth with a tool built into it. The inability to use Qi was annoying, but the academy took account of that with tools. They stored Qi and would be refueled by Qing while she was here until Lind could do it himself.

"I know they are formed by mental scars or traumatic experiences. If a cultivator cannot deal with those moments or ignore them, the heart demon will start to form. This can start in the Soul Realm but usually does not become an issue until breaking through to the Gold Tier in World Realm." Qing nodded at him but her firm look made Lind realize she wanted more than a quote from any cultivation master that had ever taught a disciple. "They are part of us but reflections of our soul we are not dealing with."

A nod from her in approval made Lind understand she was not looking for his knowledge, but the indication that he understood his situation. Lind knew she was missing a piece of information that might help but he was reluctant to reveal it. The reason he was facing this in the Soul Realm rather than in the World Realm was likely due to his previous life memories being mostly intact.

It meant that any similar issues he faced in his first life had become seeds for heart demons in this life. Lind wondered if any other reincarnate dealt with this but most of them were cultivators previously so probably learned to deal with them early.

"You and I will be having very difficult conversations but to be fair and let you understand I am not simply patronizing you, we first discuss me." Lind sat down but before Qing could continue Lind held up his hand.

"Miss Qing, I understand you are trying to build a bridge between us, but I am not entitled to let you bare such hurtful things just because of my situation. I know there are problems, and I have a fair idea of their source but I had no idea they were so serious until now." Lind was curious why he felt so close to this woman, but if she just put forth her past like this, it would put that wall back up. Lind was not so foolish to be blind to his issue after a clear presentation of its threat.

A curious look passed over her face but she slowly nodded after looking at him carefully. Whatever she saw seemed to let her believe him but Lind noticed she began putting out artifacts around the main room until a formation activated. Lind saw it was even more secure compared to the built in academy formations.

"I know your privacy is assured by the Lotus Academy but there are things a more powerful cultivator can try to bypass such things so I take no chances." Lind felt a bit of weight fall off his shoulders. Her professionalism and seriousness helped relax him, but an odd question popped into his head and left before he could stop it.

"How are you friends with Shoti?" A surprised look flashed over Qing's face until she giggled and looked awe inspiring. It left Lind's throat dry but he quickly dismissed the distracting thought and blushed at his impertiance but she sat across from him while sipping her tea.

"It involves my past but I can say that I owe her much. My life would be books and research without her. She can insist on fun even when you think it is not worth your time." Lind slowly nodded and wondered if her teasing him was because she thought he was being too serious. He put it to the back of his mind but would come back to it if they met again.

"So, what do we do?" Lind felt his palms were sweaty and nervous, but he could not run from this if he wanted to advance. He did not want his cultivation journey to stop and he knew this was a serious issue regardless.

"Well, I think you told me about one of your heart demon seeds, but I doubt it is the only one. Possession means you have at least 3 moderate seeds and one flared because it shares traits with one of the others. There is no certain way to detect them aside from possession, but I would like you to start with where you are comfortable." Qing was sitting there patiently and calmly. Her presence was calming and his Eyes told him no technique was pressuring him.

Lind rubbed his hands together and felt he should elaborate on his past thus far. He informed Qing of his father's origins and how the Overseer had abused his position to get resources for his son while the Frey Clan was forced to sacrifice women to that monster. His words had become harsh but his Qi was steady.

Lind talked about his life growing up in the Frey Clan and saw Qing frown but she only asked him to continue. Lind became gentle when talking about Granny and the Old Man. Teylin and Tayla were just as gentle but Teyla was complicated. Lind talked about the awkward incident that led to the Tri-Clan Tournament.

Until this point the words had sometimes been halting but Lind felt like an infected wound was losing pressure as he spoke. He had bottled up the words for so long and it led to his frustration of being treated like a pariah by strangers when he only existed. He felt infuriated how Kor and his sisters were treated for the same reason only they had lost their mothers as well. Lind expressed his general discontent with how closed minded cultivators were as well.

He began to nitpick his current situation when Qing held up her hand.

"What about the 3rd Princess and her death? You do not have an opinion about that?" Her words were steady but Lind felt like a bolt of lightning struck him. His clammy skin dried up and something tried to break free. Lind felt pressure in his dantian as his Qi tried to explode but Lind clamped down on it with his World Touch and his own desire to remain in control.

He was not giving in. He was not a slave to his rage, he was more than his rage. Even so, pressure built around him but Lind felt stunned as he saw his harmony try to pull more elemental energies like never before but he slammed down his control and finally it calmed down. His body was covered in sweat and he was exhausted.

"I see, there is another heart demon, likely tied to recent possession given your reaction." Lind understood that as it felt familiar. He had nearly fallen into a dark place but it felt slightly different from the first time. Revenge. He wanted revenge for the 3rd Princess. Lind had no idea it was so pervasive in his body. He felt guilty but the insanity of her death had affected him despite barely knowing her.

"Your first heart demon is your father, or rather what your father represents. He uses people like objects and you were treated as one for much of your life aside from your mother and lucky encounters. Your second, similar heart demon, is the person who stood up for you when on one else would being killed simply because of politics and your existence." Lind nodded as it matched but he waited for the rest. "I would also say that you have high, but understandable frustration about being treated as a pariah once again but that is why the first heart demon has become so strong. You are back to where you began."

Lind felt stunned. He had not realized it. He was back to where he started and Cyntilla had been his only solace with her puzzles. Tears began to form but he kept steady in his heart. It was not yet time as he did not know what his third demon was, and that was only at least a third.

Tea calmed his nerves as Qing looked at him expectantly. Lind looked over his life but could not find a reason that did not fall into the 2 heart demons he currently carried. The 2 nurtured each other but he really did not know what could have made a 3rd at this point. He screwed up his eyes as he wracked his mind for an answer before an idea came forth.

Lind looked up in nervousness at Qing but he swallowed the rest of his tea before folding his hands together.

"I have never told anyone the details but it is known by a few I have one more talent aside from what you already know." Qing looked at him deeply but Lind took a deep breath before continuing. "I am reincarnated with my memories intact."

A stunned look crossed QIng's face but she accepted this revelation steadily. She realized he was about to reveal that the oldest heart demon was not from this life, but his previous one.

Lind slowed his breath and then spoke about Earth. At first Qing was deeply confused then she showed true shock as she absorbed that Lind's soul was not even from the realms of cultivators but an entirely separate world. A world without cultivation would be as hard as someone from Earth could not picture a life without conveniences made from the modern world.

"I died saving a life but I was told, I was told I changed the Fate of the ones I touched. I was told that I avoided a simple life of family and growing old, but that meant my friend and all the others I helped were meant for something different." Lind missed the jarring effect his words had on Qing, but he felt it all come into focus. "I was infuriated that something I could not see or touch decided how things should play out. I was just a man and I acted according to my heart. How could I change something audacious like Fate unless it was broken?"

Lind's words caused a tremor that barely affected most of the world but in the Stone Ward a dim Immortal Will felt Qi flow into it suddenly. Its weakened state was a direct result of its actions to protect Lind, but now it was mystified how it was re-energized. How was that possible?

Lind looked into Qing's eyes as he spoke a truth he had told no one, not even himself until today. "I think I was lied to. I think I was told something to hide why I was reborn and I have wondered if I am being used."