5. RUDE SHOCK

Stop it, Mother!

I'm not marrying her. And I'm not taking any responsibility until I confirm paternity.

I froze.

That's James's voice!

My legs moved as if on its own accord, towards the window facing the street that the voices were emanating from. The windows were opened but the drapes were drawn. The lights from inside, behind the drapes illuminated out. I tried tiptoeing to catch a glimpse but the lintel was too high.

I could hear the voices clearer,

You will marry her James, no grandchild of mine will be born out of wedlock.

What if it's all a lie? Will you prefer to have a bastard grandchild in wedlock? Uh? Answer me mother.

Oh, stop with the cynicism. You can always divorce her after she gives birth, then you will have time to chase after those cheap girls you seem to prefer.

I stared at the window, appalled and disgusted. I'm one of those cheap girls. My legs became weak and I had to lean on the wall so I don't crumble to the ground. The angry conversation on the inside continued, I wanted to block my ears but I couldn't.

Have you thought of the scandal divorcing her abruptly after delivery will cause? I'm trying to build my name on my own, mother, I won't let any avoidable scandal bring me down.

Look James, if you won't think of anything else, think of that innocent baby. Think of the love_

Don't you go there Mother! I'm done with this conversation.

Where are you going, young man?

I heard angry footsteps getting closer to the front door. The outside lights came on. My brain shouted at me to run but my legs were too weak and shaky to carry me. I stood there, frozen by the window.

The door opened forcefully and James barged out. A petite, elderly lady that looked familiar was close behind him.

They both stared at me in shock.

Several emotion played on James's face. From shock, to fear, to resignation, to anger.

The anger made me stand up straight. Why is he angry with me?

"Rita, I told you not to come. What brought you here?" He growled, glaring at me. I felt like he had slapped me. I stared at him, my eyes wide. Tried to form a response, but my throat was too dry.

The elderly lady behind him narrowed her eyes, "don't I know you from somewhere?" She asked. Up close, her voice was raspy, but there was steel in it, implying that she got whatever she sets her heart to, and won't take kindly to anyone getting in her way.

James was beside me in a second. He held me tightly by the arm, propelling me towards his car.

"Let's get out of here." He snapped.

I moved like a robot towards his car, he pressed a remote and the doors unlocked. I stumbled by the driveway, almost falling to my knees, he jerked me up and swore under his breath. Suddenly, I felt my legs leaving the ground, he was carrying me the remaining distance to his car.

"I can walk." I mumbled against his shirt.

"No you can't. You are in shock."

I snorted. Shock was an understatement for what I was feeling. We got to the car and he shuffled me in his arms to open the door, he placed me gently on the seat and closed the door, before striding to the driver's side.

I could see the elderly lady through the windshield still standing by the front step, watching us. James got in and started the engine, the head light came on automatically, beaming more light on the front door. He was about to reverse when I saw a beautiful young lady step out beside the woman. She had dark hair and wore white nightgown, the headlight glowed on her, making her look like an angel.

An obviously pregnant angel.

I gasped. She's here?

James swore furiously and reversed with high speed out of the driveway.

Silence filled the car as he drove. I stared unseeing into the dark night, the cool night breeze caressing my face and hair. The tension in the car so thick, it reminded me of another night not so long ago, in the same car... when I couldn't resist him.

...then you will have time to chase one of those cheap girls you seem to prefer.

Oh God, I closed my eyes as shame washed over me. James touched my hand, startling me.

"Hey, we are here." He said softly.

I looked around, we were in front of my house. How we got there, I couldn't say. The street was dark expect for the street lights and the occasional flicker of light through my neighbours windows.

I turned to examine James, he was peering at me like he was contemplating what to say. He was still as handsome as ever, his short hair looked rough and unkempt like he hadn't combed it in days. His brown eyes somber.

He sighed heavily, "I know you've seen and heard a lot, but not everything is as it seem."

He sighed again when I remained silent.

"I can't tell you everything right now but please believe me, it's not what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?" I asked in a whisper, too tired and depressed to put more strength into my voice.

"I don't know." He ran his hands over his head and face wearily. "But I asked you not to come." He turned his head and pierced me with angry eyes. "I specifically said I'll come see you tonight. Why did you come?"

His voice got angrier with every word he uttered, till he was fairly shouting. I blinked at his outburst, why is he shouting at me? I wasn't the one who knocked a girl up and demanding for a paternity test before taking responsiblilty. I wasn't the one who had been cheating. That's if I could call it cheating since our relationship had no definition. And I wasn't the one who just wasn't... there!

James must have seen the fury building on my face. His eyes widened a fraction as I jerked the car door open and stormed out, closing it with a loud and satisfying bang. He hurriedly stepped out and we met by the hood of the car. He held my hand, stopping me from charging past him towards my house. I snatched my hand away and folded it across my chest, looking away from him.

"Hey Rita, I'm sorry I said that. I just didn't want you to witness all that shit." He muttered.

I jerked my eyes to meet his, "you didn't want me to witness it or you didn't want me to know about it."

He looked away, "it's not what you think." He mumbled again.

"And what do I think uh?" My voice was getting stronger with my anger. "If I hadn't gone to your place tonight, you would have come to me with one flimsy excuse or another, and I would have believed you."

"No! I wouldn't lie to you. I might not tell you the whole truth but I would never lie." He snapped.

"That is lying by omission!" I snapped back. "When James? When were you going to finally tell me you have a pregnant girl around the corner? Or were you just planning to slither away like the snake that you are, never to be seen again?"

His eyes became flat, his rage and frustration obvious; but I was on a roll, he had unleashed the crazy Rita and I was so giving it to him.

"Or let me guess," I continued, lowering my voice for effect. "You planned to come here tonight for some fucking and free food by the side, from the cheap girl, to let out some steam and frustration, since you're been forced to marry the girl you knocked up, uh.

He eyes became hard. "Shut up Rita! Or God help me, I'll shut it up." He said slowly and vehemently. "We either finish this discussion in your house or in the car. You might not know it, but you're entertaining your neighbours."

I looked around hastily, curtains were being opened and more lights were coming on.

I groaned in mortification, my neighbours were having a filled day or night at my expense. I've never been the center of attention in the neighbourhood, except for the occasional greetings we exchanged. Most of them had seen me around before my grandma's demise, they were not surprised to learn she willed the house to me. They've always known me to be a quiet, polite girl who goes about her business and keeps to herself. The only person they see around me is Beth.

Now all that had changed. All because I made the mistake of falling in love... with a guy I knew almost nothing about. A guy who had a pregnant woman by the side, while he was dazzling me with his charms. My heart constricted painfully.

Oh! Why him?, I was always so careful not to fall for any guy. When I see signs of deeper feelings, I cut ties immediately. I wasn't ready for all the pain and heartbreak that comes with love.

I sighed dejectedly, my shoulders drooping. "Just go James, I can't deal with all these right now." I mumbled tiredly, resting my butt on the hood of his car.

"Can we just go inside and discuss this. Please?" I raised my head and pierced him with a look. "Just to talk, I promise." He quickly added seeing the look I gave him. That was the problem, I didn't trust myself around him. Even now, with all the tension and anger, I could still feel the attraction between us. It was simmering below, waiting to erupt.

"Or we could talk in the car if you want." He added hopefully.

"Let's go inside," I replied reluctantly. I had made myself enough spectacle for a night. I hope they didn't hear all I said while I was on a roll. I turned to look again, lights were still on, more than before. And I could see shadows by some windows.

He locked his car and we started towards my front door. I unlocked my door and we entered. He looked around my small home, and I remembered he hadn't seen the inside before. He just drops me and drives off. He had never asked to come in and I had never invited him in.

"How come I've never seen the inside of your home?" He asked, saying my thoughts out loud.

I ignored him and turned to drop my purse on the small coffee table.

"It's cozy and strongly built." He said with admiration, looking at my house with the eyes of a developer. "Did you buy it this way or you did some renovations?"

I stared at him in amazement, he knows next to nothing about me also.

"I didn't buy it, neither did I renovate it." I sat down on my single seater and took off my shoes, I looked up and found him watching me.

"James, we are inside now, what do you want to say to me? It's late and I have to work tomorrow." I crossed my legs and waited.

He kept on watching me, as if weighing how much he could tell me.

"I'm listening!" I snapped.

"I'm not responsible for her pregnancy." He blurted out suddenly.

"Yes, until you see the paternity test result to confirm." I quipped.

"That's not exactly true." He rubbed his forehead, like he had headache or something. "I'm not the father of that baby, I'm sure of that."

"If that's all you came in to say, then you can leave now. You're begining to sound like a broken record."

He was before me in an instant, he crouched low untill we were at eye level, he gripped the arm rest to support himself. His nearness made me too hot all of a sudden, his scent of clean sweat filled my nostrils, making me forget the issue at hand. I remembered how I loved to run my hands and tongue down his chest, to his navel and down to his turgid... No, I'm not going down that lane. Focus Rita! Too late, my body was responding already. My nipples had tightened and I felt my core go wet. He was saying something but I was lost in my wayward thoughts.

I cleared my throat, "what are you saying?" My voice sounded hoarse in my ears.

He stopped talking, and his eyes widened, recognizing the lust in mine. His nostrils flared as he smelt my arousal. He knelt down before me and his hands began to caress above my knee, where my dress didn't cover. He uncrossed my legs and his hands moved to my inner thighs. My lips parted, we were both breathing heavily.

"I want you to trust me. Please say you trust me." His said roughly.

"I trust you." I whispered.

At that point, he could have asked me to go visit the devil in hell and I would've done it with a stupid smile on my face. He was leaning forward, staring lustfully at my lips.

"Tell me you believe me." He whispered.

"I believe you." I whispered back.

I leaned forward and caught his lips with mine. We kissed harshly and deeply, seeking entrance into each other's mouth with our tongues. My hands found its way into his shirt, while his hands cupped my breasts. I moaned loudly as he fondled my boobs through my dress. I moved my fingers to his nipples- one of his weak points- and stroked them lightly, he groaned deeply and kissed me more fervently.

"If you do not want this, say so now." He said, breathing heavily. Almost panting actually.

I paused for a second, asking myself the same. Do I want this? My body screamed yes! But we haven't resolved anything. His mother wanted him to marry a pregnant girl and be a father to a child he claimed not to be his. He asked me to trust him and not what I saw or heard.

This is not the time to think! My body screamed again. Just grab him now! I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted to feel. To forget about tomorrow and the harsh reality I know would await me at dawn. I pulled his head to mine again and kissed him with all the passion and longing in me, trying to convey my love and yearning to him.

He broke the kiss after a while and rested his head against mine, panting heavily.

"Oh Rita, what you do to me." Ditto baby, I can't explain what you do to me either.

He pulled me up fiercely and stripped my dress off in an instant, leaving me in only my lace bra and panties. I worked on his shirt buttons as fast as I could, he pulled off his shirt while I moved to his pants. His erection was obvious and I grabbed it through his trousers, our movement feverish. He let out a loud guttural sound and pulled me up abruptly. He turned me around so fast, I felt dizzy. He pulled my back against his chest and fondled my boobs with one hand while the other hand moved down into my panties and stroked my clit. Oh God! I was wet everywhere. One long finger slid inside and fingered me faster and faster. I cried out as I felt an orgasm building. He stopped but left his finger in me. "You'll cum when I'm inside you, baby." He whispered in my ears.

He turned my head so our lips could lock again. He then bent me forward till I had to grab the single seater for support, with my butt in the air. He pulled down my panties with one hand and jerked down his trousers with the other. I felt his erection at my slit, teasing my opening. I pushed back greedily, wanting his cock in me like never before.

"Easy baby." He breathed, trying to spread out my juice with his cock.

"Fuck me James." I gasped, pushing back again.

"You'll be the death of me." He growled, and then he was in me with a single smooth thrust.

He groaned loudly and I cried out in ecstacy as he filled me up to the hilt. Wave after wave of orgasm hit me hard, making me shudder in pleasure.

For the next few minutes, I enjoyed the best doggie of my live, reaching climax again and again as my cries and his groans filled my small home. His shaft swelled and his thrust became faster. I knew he was about to find his own release. I pushed my butt back with each deep thrust to get the best of him till he cried out in a deep hoarse voice and expelled himself inside me.

My knees became weak and I knelt down, he followed me down with his shaft still buried deep in me. I rested my head on the chair while he rested on my back as we took a moment to calm our breath. I could feel his heart beating wildly against my back. His arms came around and pulled my bra down to release my breasts, he began to squeeze and pet them till I felt my body responding again. What is it with this guy that I can't get enough of him? I wondered.

"What've you done to me?" He asked, sounding bewildered. "I want you again." I moaned as I felt him thickening again inside me. It had always been like that with us; we meet, have sex, eat, sex again all night long. We never seemed to get enough of each other.

He pulled out of me, leaving me feeling bereft. "We need a bed. Which one is your room?" He asked as he pulled off his trousers still around his ankle. I pointed towards my room, spent on the single seater. He pulled me up and carried me in his arms with my panties still around my knees.

He entered the room and placed me on my bed, he then bent down to remove my bra and panties. I laid there watching him as he removed every item of clothing still on him. My eyes followed him as he moved around naked in my little room, dropping items here and there as he went. Seeing him in all his naked glory aroused me instantly again, he really was beautiful and virile, with a whole lot of complication. I sighed. We really needed to talk, so many gaps needed to be filled in his story.

He laid down beside me and bent his head to my nipples, sucking and fondling them.

I gasped and closed my eyes, pushing my back up to give him full access to them. Image of the pregnant girl flipped through my mind and I stiffened. He noticed the slight change in my mood and raised his head.

"What's wrong?" He looked straight into my eyes, frowning with concern.

"Did you sleep with her while you were with me?" I blurted out.

"No! I didn't. I wouldn't do something like that." He cleched his teeth.

I pictured her again in my mind, standing by the front door in a white night gown...

"But she looked around five to six months gone." I frowned in confusion.

"She's seven months gone actually."

"Oh." An imaginary knife pierced my heart and I swallowed hard. "So you knew her before me."

"No, I didn't know her until a month ago."

I frowned again, my confusion obvious. "Then how come...?"

He sighed and sat upright, resting his back against the wall. I sat upright too, using the duvet to cover my breasts as I faced him.

"I know you don't understand, and I really can't explain everything right now." He leaned forward and reached for my hands, "I need you to trust me. Please."

"I'm trying to, but you're not giving me much to work with. I don't want to be the side chick trying to force herself on a man already taken."

His hand on mine tightened. "No, you're not, you're my only chick." He teased with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "Just give me some time to get this whole shit sorted out, okay."

"Okay, but how much time?"

"Till she gives birth. I know she's lying."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"We could just end this whole thing you know, and save ourselves this_" I muttered with my eyes still closed.

"No!" He barked. "I'm not sacrificing anymore of my life on the altar of_" he halted abruptly.

"On the altar of what?"

"Never mind." He said evasively. "There is something between us that I've never had with any other woman, I know you feel it too." He touched my cheek, "I want us to nuture it, and watch it grow."

"Are you talking about a serious relationship?" I squeaked. As much as I wanted that with James, I didn't want it like this. With so much secrets between us.

"I haven't thought of it that way but, yeah, you could say that." He replied.

I snatched my hand away. "Let me get this straight," I said coldly, "you want to marry your pregnant girl and keep me as a side piece?"

"She is not my pregnant girl." His voice became loud. "And I'm not marrying her."

"Your mother wants you to." I stated.

He snorted. "The days my mother gets whatever she wants are long gone."

"Then, why is she staying at your house?"

I probed, my voice going loud too.

"She claimed she had nowhere to stay and my mother brought her to my place."

What does that even mean? I wondered. There were so many things he wasn't telling me, so many things I didn't know, and I still don't know. I remained silent, lost in my thoughts.

"Just give me some time, okay?" He pleaded, searching my face. "I'll make things right and explain everything to you."

"Why can't you explain them now?" I asked softly.

"I can't." He closed his eyes as if in pain. "You don't know how much I want to, but I can't."

I sighed sadly. Looking away from his handsome, weary face. Love is hard, I thought. Hard and painful. It catches you unaware, toys with your heart till you're so frustrated, you're begging for mercy.

My tommy growled suddenly, reminding me I hadn't eaten since lunch at Sir Paulo's eatery. It seemed like months ago I sat with Beth and Paulo, laughing and discussing love and relationship.

And Beth, I haven't heard from her since she left. How is she fairing with her Stephen? I hope she's happier than I'm with James.

"When last did you eat?" James asked.

"I ate lunch." I didn't elaborate.

"Do you have something at home? Or I could go out to get something."

I looked at the clock on my nightstand, it was 11:15pm. Most eateries would have closed. The food Paulo packed for Beth and I were still stocked in the refrigerator.

"Don't bother," I replied. "I'd heat up something. Would you like to eat too?"

"Yes, I'm starving."

I stood up naked, my undies were on the floor. I picked them and dumped them in my laundry basket. I found a short nightie to wear. James stood up also to wear his boxer shorts. We walked out to my small kitchen and he sat, looking around. I wondered how small my kitchen would look to him, compared to his large and airy own.

I went in search of my phone as the food microwaved, I found it in my purse on the coffee table. There was no call from Beth, but there was a missed call from my mom. That surprised me, as I was the one mostly doing the calling since grandma's illness. I understood how crancky grandma could be whenever she became ill. Taking care of her was usually a full time job. I decided to call mum back the next day as it was already late.

I heard the ping sound of the microwave, I turned and saw James walk to it, he wore the mitten on the counter and brought out the food. I studied him as he made himself at home in my kitchen, moving with inborn confidence like he owned the place. He dished the food into plates and we sat down to eat. He kept stealing glances at me, while I pretended to ignore him.

"This is nice," he said after swallowing the last bite. "You cooked it?"

"No." I said without preamble.

A frown appeared on his face, he opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly deflected it with a question of mine. "Are you going home tonight?" The frown on his face deepened. "Cause if you're going, you should start now, it's getting late." I announced, pointed at the wall clock in my sitting room.

"Do you want me to go?"

I shrugged. "If you want to. I can't keep you here. They might be waiting up for you."

"I don't think so." He snorted.

I took the plates to the sink to wash them, he joined me and we worked together silently. I was wiping my hands with a napkin when he held me from behind, cupping my breasts and fondling them through my nightie. I moaned, my body awakening with passion.

"God, I want you. Please don't say no." He whispered into my ears as he kissed my neck. I couldn't say no, even if my life depended on it. I felt his bulge sticking into my butt from behind as his finger found its way into my folds. My moans became whimpers, and his breath quickened.

He turned me and sat me by the edge of the dinning table, he lifted my legs and held them up. I relaxed backwards and used my elbows to anchor myself on the table. My sex was exposed to his greedy eyes and mouth. He bent and lapped his tongue over it, sucking and eating till I was trembling and almost falling from the table. "You're so beautiful." He breathed in awe. Our eyes locked, sensual lust evident on our faces. He pulled down his boxers and placed himself at my entrance, then entered me with our eyes still locked.

We spent the whole night going at each other, as if we knew, deep down, it would be the calm night before the stormy day. We made it to the bed the next time,I rode him till he shouted my name. We showered after and his cock found its way into me again. Who knew my small bathroom could accommodate that!

We found our way back to the bed again, and he made slow, desperate love to me, as if trying to convey a message to me through my body.

There was no more exchange of words that night, just passionate cries, guttural groans and long sweet moans.

We finally exhausted ourselves in the early hours of the morning, and then fell into much needed deep and sated sleep.

I woke up suddenly some hours later to find his side empty and cold. The indented pillow the only sign that he was ever there. I turned to check the small clock on my nightstand, and noticed a paper with something scribbled on it. I stretched and picked it up to read:

I'll be very busy this coming weeks.

I'll call you when I can.

Trust me.

Yours. James.

I stared at the paper in shock, reading and re-reading it. Tears rolled down my cheeks unto the paper, blotching the ink.

Oh God! I've been a fool once again.