16 Addiction

Warning: Brief mention of torture.

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Under the cover of thunderclouds, two dark figures launched from the Hokage tower and blurred over rooftops. They paused to crouch on the side of a building with the barest hint of chakra as the night-shift ANBU patrol passed just several feet away. Exchanging a quick nod of dark, blank masks, the two blurred again as one.

They arrived at a shadowed alley across from a modest apartment complex and turned to each other. The taller figure raised his arm to form hand signs but stopped. The smaller figure tilted his head questioningly before shaking it in amusement. He formed his own hand signs to his companion, at which the taller companion started.

:You know ANBU hand signs?:

The smaller figure shrugged.

:Later. Mission first.:

He squinted at the building for a moment before turning back to the first.

:I take One, you take Two. Sakumo should already be with Three, and Jaguar is watching Four.:

They exchanged another nod, and blurred.

Four men stood in the Hokage's Office, and one sat behind the desk, pulling a long drag from his pipe.

"Akashiori, report."

The Hunter-nin, his mask returned to the spiral one, stepped forward. "After thorough investigation, identities of four spies from Iwa were confirmed eight days ago, disguised as shinobi secretary at the Office of Emergency Management, a mid-level chuunin, his 'daughter' who is a third-year Academy student, and a civilian janitor in the Hokage Tower. All four have been captured and are currently detained at ANBU T&I. I will be assisting Yamanaka Inokazu with the extraction. The existence of another Iwa spy in Konoha is very unlikely. However, I have suspicions about a spy from Ame which I will investigate after the Iwa-nin are dealt with."

"Excellent. Does anyone have anything further to add?"

"Sir," Jaguar spoke, "I discovered a hidden compartment in the Academy student's room. It is locked by an advanced seal."

"Cheetah, as Seal Master, you will take care of it." Sarutobi looked between the four. "Good job. Hatake, Cheetah, Jaguar, you are dismissed. Akashiori, stay."

Once the two were alone, Akashiori looked at the Hokage defiantly from behind his mask.

"Akashiori, you know I am not questioning your competence. However, I worry for your mental state. Are you certain you are ready to participate in the interrogation?"

"I guarantee I can handle it."

Sarutobi sighed with the face of someone a decade older. "I can see nothing will deter you. Then I order you to keep Minato-kun positioned nearby."

The Hunter-nin growled unhappily. "Very well."

Before Akashiori walked out, he removed his mask and shifted into Naruto.

He frowned at the Hokage. "Jijii, you're going to get cancer if you keep smoking like that."

Sarutobi slowly blew smoke out from his nose. "And do I?"

"Well, no…but I'm going to make sure you live longer this time, so cut down on it, will ya?"

"Sorry, gaki, my pipe is one thing I won't give up. I call it a healthy addiction because it keeps me sane."

Naruto looked at his superior incredulously. "You call yourself sane? Just yesterday, you threw a stack of paperwork out the window!"

"That was also for my sanity." Sarutobi took an even deeper drag, closing his eyes with an exaggerated look of contentment. "Ahhhh, bliss."

"Jijii!"

"No."

"Stop acting like a baby, old man."

"What baby smokes?"

"You also stink like a second-hand ashtray. By the time the next Hokage takes office, this room will permanently smell like a chimney."

"And will it?"

Naruto groaned in frustration. "No, but either way, it's unhealthy."

"As you just stated, it has no adverse effects on the future. Besides, it makes me appear wiser."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Wiser? Yeah right, it just makes you look elderly."

"Elderly?" Sarutobi leaned forward threateningly. "Gaki, let me tell you, I am only fifty. There is not a single speck of grey in my hair and beard."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. "What? You're only fifty? I could have sworn you were at least sixty-five."

"Brat! I am still in my prime. Just ask my wife." Sarutobi said smugly.

Naruto choked. "Ewwww, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"Oh? Is it too much for your innocent ears?"

The blonde's cheeks stained pink. "I am not having that conversation. Jijii, if I have to have Minato there for the interrogation, you have to cut down on smoking. Equivalent exchange."

"How is that in any way equivalent? I had the strong impression that you enjoy time spent with Minato-kun." Sarutobi smirked as if he knew a secret. "You two seem quite close, even sharing ice cream."

Naruto turned bright red and pointed in outrage. "Y-you, you were spying on us!"

"That's a ridiculous accusation. I was merely performing a regular sweep of the village when I happened upon that sweet scene. Did you notice that several of his fangirls burst into tears and several more fainted from blood loss? You formed dangerous enemies that day."

"Huh? Why would that make me anyone's enemy?" Naruto frowned in confusion before it dawned on him. "Crap! It's because I dropped my ice cream, isn't it!"

Sarutobi choked on a lungful of smoke.

"Jijii?" The blonde rushed around the desk to pat the coughing man's back. "See, this is why you shouldn't smoke. Your lungs are already starting to fail you. If I knew it was already this bad, I would have mentioned it earlier."

"Naruto, you are an idiot," the Hokage muttered incoherently between coughs.

"Tell you what, let's make a deal. For every month you cut down on half of your smoking, I'll write you one chapter of Icha Icha."

Sarutobi's eyes glinted. "How can I be sure of the quality? You barely know anything about romance. I refuse to read trash."

Naruto rolled his eyes and thought, 'As if it isn't already trash.'

However, he replied, "Old man, I was Ero-Sennin's editor for years. My first Icha Icha manuscript stopped a war. Of course it will be top quality."

"Well then, I will cut down on one-eighth of my tobacco usage."

"Are you kidding me? That's it? Do you know how painful it is to write that junk? Three-eighths."

"Are you trying to ruin the village through my withdrawal? That would be a breach of your pledge, brat. One-sixth."

"I'm trying to improve our village leader's health. How is that breaching my pledge? Two-fifths."

"What about my mental health? One-fourths."

"No, cut one-third of your smoking. That's my final offer." Naruto paused. "Orrrr, you can wait for Ero-Sennin's next book, which in my timeline comes out in four years."

"Four years!" Sarutobi instantly sat up and roared. "What is that lazy boy doing out there?"

"Calm down or you'll have a heart attack. Now, that would be a breach. Anyway, don't worry Ero-Jijii, I'm making him publish the next one in a few months for his Kusa infiltration. But, isn't it better if you have that one and mine? Double the fun…" Naruto shuddered. "And you'll get the first installment next month."

"Hmmm, that sounds acceptable," Sarutobi said nonchalantly, but he was unable to hide all of his giggles of anticipation.

Disconcerted, Naruto backed away cautiously from the giggling pervert. "Uhh…great. I'll just, uh, be going." He shunshined out of the door, leaving a large puff of agitated cloud.

As soon as he was in the T&I basement, he activated the Hiraishin seal on his neck. A moment later, Minato appeared and immediately slung his arm over Naruto's shoulders.

"The old man wants you to stay nearby while I interrogate our friends," Naruto informed the taller blonde as he secretly enjoyed Minato's hand ruffling his hair. They joined the Yamanaka in the observation room and looked through the one-way glass at the chuunin spy tied to a chair and blindfolded.

"Akashiori-san, the first one is ready."

The Hunter-nin covered his grim expression with his mask and stalked in.

Hours later, a Naruto with haunted eyes stepped back out, screams still ringing in his ears. He looked around the observation room tiredly, and his shoulders lost some of its tension when his eyes landed on a tall blonde standing against the back wall, dozing. After informing Inokazu when both their reports were due, he shuffled over to the ANBU Captain and fell into him with a relieved sigh.

Minato was startled awake when he felt a weight against his front and arms wrap around his torso. He almost panicked when he looked down to see a mop of blond hair buried into his shoulder.

"Naruto? Are you alright?" Minato asked urgently as he stroked the unruly hair. At Naruto's sharp nod, he tilted the smaller blonde's face up towards his. Something within him jolted at the wrongness of Naruto's haunted eyes; those azure eyes which usually held a beautiful brilliance were dull and weary, sometimes unfocused as if they were seeing something darker, and what cut him the most was the regret reflected in them.

"Minato, let's go home," Naruto said softly.

In a bright flash, they landed in Naruto's room. Naruto crawled onto the bed to huddle in the middle, pulling his legs close and hugging them tightly. He looked extremely young and vulnerable.

Minato knelt next to the bed and pulled the hunched body to him.

"Interrogation always sucks." Naruto relaxed in the arms. "Especially with those who are strong. Then you have to break them." He sighed. "And what you find out is always bad news. I should have sniffed out the spies earlier."

"But you had nothing to go on until the results of the Shinobi Assessment came in." Minato leaned back to look at Naruto's dejected face.

"But I should have gotten the civilian earlier. Iwa was able to get copies of some of our confidential documents lying around in offices and sabotage missions for half a year!" Naruto cried out angrily. "We're lucky his background didn't qualify him for anything beyond a janitor. Otherwise…"

Minato smoothed out Naruto's clenched fist and allowed the younger blonde to speak his frustrations.

"The kid was the hardest. He gathered the most information on us, and he was damn stubborn. I would have loved to take him as an apprentice, but now he's practically foaming at the mouth…"

They fell into a pensive silence. While Naruto's mind flashed through the 'what if's' of the future, Minato found himself thinking about how his life had changed. In the short period of less than a year, the smaller blonde had become the center of his world, first appearing out of nowhere to disrupt his sleep and drawing his attention even while hiding away.

And then, somehow he had broken through that thick guard of sorrow. It was like his eyes had finally learned to notice details, and that previous to knowing Naruto, his vision had been veiled by a thin film of delusion. Now, every day he learned something new about Naruto, himself, and the people around them.

The smaller blonde was as innocent as he was dark, selflessness warring with selfishness, pleasure versus duty. The result was a murky grey. Naruto saw nothing as just black or white, completely wrong or right, and his actions reflected that belief. Minato had discovered that for everything Naruto did, he first asked himself a 'why' which revealed whether the means to an end was worth the cost. Furthermore, that 'why' allowed him to form his own judgments rather than to follow blindly.

From studying Naruto, he found that he himself was sometimes guilty of one-dimensional thinking. Moreover, he became aware of the existence of evil in humanity right within his village. Konoha which had previously seemed scrupulous was now riddled with dark blemishes in his eyes. Since young, the idea that Konoha could do no wrong had been ingrained in its citizens alongside the pride of being part of such a great village. Only after meeting Naruto did it truly hit him that the people of Konoha were just as flawed, if not more, as people everywhere else.

People would have to be very flawed to have turned against a boy as sweet as Naruto. He'd met childhood-Naruto in his mindscape many times and couldn't fathom how anyone could be so cruel.

Whatever the reason, he was going to do his best to shield him from any hurt which was sure to come with any major conflict.

'He is mine to protect,' Minato thought resolutely as he kissed Naruto lightly on the nose and watched a baffled look, followed by a cute blush, form on the Hunter-nin's face.

Several days later found Naruto on Minato's bed, lying across Minato's legs, hitting his head repeatedly on a brand new notebook. Minato set down a mission report he was writing up and nudged the smaller blonde in the stomach with his chakra.

"I don't think brain damage will make whatever you're doing any easier."

Naruto groaned. "I hate writing porrrrrnnn!"

Minato's control over his chakra crashed. "What?"

Naruto mashed his face into the notebook and covered his head with his hands. "I promised Jijii I'd write him an Icha Icha. I forgot how awful it is."

Minato bit the inside of his cheek to contain the mirth bubbling up. "Why would you do that? Wait, you've written porn before?"

"I was trying to get Jijii to smoke less, and before I knew it I ended up offering Icha Icha as a trade. Do you know that Icha Icha is so popular because it actually has a plot hidden behind all that…s–stuff? I bet it's so brainwashed fans can convince themselves they're reading proper literature. On top of that, there's at least one outrageously exaggerated promiscuous scene in every chapter. I mean, you'd have to be crazy to think it's normal to orgasm ten times in one sitting."

"Maybe if you took a soldier pill…" Minato suggested helpfully.

"…you did not just say that," Naruto said in horror, shoving his palms over his ears. "I can't believe it. You've finally shown your true colors as a closet pervert!"

Minato couldn't hold back anymore. He threw his head back and laughed. This was the second time Naruto had accused him of being a pervert.

Naruto propped himself up on his elbows and glared back at the man fighting for air. Practically half the people he knew in this time were perverts! Sandaime-Jijii, Jiraiya, Sakumo, Kakashi in several years, and now Minato. Shikaku would probably be a pervert too if he wasn't so lazy.

Once Minato calmed down, he extracted his legs from under Naruto's stomach and purposefully crawled to the smaller blonde.

"So you think I'm a pervert?" Minato grazed his lips against the shell of Naruto's ear. "Naru-chan…" Minato whispered the nickname in a low, husky voice and lifted a hand to caress the Hiraishin seal on the back of Naruto's slender neck.

Naruto froze, and for a moment Minato worried about having triggered another flashback, but a moment later, the smaller blonde let out an adorable 'eep!' and tumbled off the bed. Naruto stumbled to his feet and backed up against the opposite wall.

Minato inwardly grinned mischievously, but on the surface, he raked his eyes up and down Naruto's figure, licking his lips as he smoothly climbed off the bed and glided to the Hunter-nin who now resembled a deer caught in headlights. He stopped inches away and placed his hands on either side of Naruto's head.

Leaning down, he murmured, "Ne, Naru-chan, can you to say it again?"

"S-say what?" Naruto stuttered, a vibrant blush blooming on his face.

"Don't tell me you've already forgotten." Minato hovered his lips next to Naruto's ear, making sure his warm breaths tickled the sensitive skin. "You just accused me of being a pervert." He lightly nipped the ear lobe.

Naruto suddenly found it impossible to breathe. A hand brushed aside his bangs, and he was looking up into a pair of smoldering blue eyes.

"Um, sorry?" Naruto squeaked. The same hand cupped the base of his head and spread chakra down his spine.

Naruto's eyes slipped shut. "Mmmm," he moaned softly at the sensation, "More…"

"What's the magic word?" As he teasingly pulled back his chakra, Minato reveled in the small frown that marred Naruto's face.

"Please, Minato," the smaller blonde whispered.

The ANBU Captain felt blood rush downward at the way Naruto pleaded his name. Kami, Naruto had no idea how tantalizing he looked – hazy eyes and rosy cheeks, and so deliciously submissive. It was a vision right out of those rumored wet dreams he had missed out on because he had been too busy training during his teenage years.

Minato now fully understood what Jiraiya had meant weeks ago when he had said "I'm not you." He, not Jiraiya, was the one who was a danger to Naruto's body. It was funny to think that he was more of a threat than the real (super) pervert. Ugh, and Sakumo-senpai and possibly Kakashi knew too.

But he didn't care about accusations of being perverted if he got to see Naruto like this.

"Very good." He pulsed chakra down the spine, causing Naruto's lips to part in a gasp.

Minato sighed disappointedly. He would love to pull Naruto to him and continue now that he figured out why he was always trying to get the smaller blonde's attention, but any more would be a very bad idea.

So he ruffled Naruto's hair and stepped back, snapping Naruto out of his daze. Naruto blinked in surprise and shook his head to clear his mind.

He blinked again, and again, and then sputtered.

Minato stifled his chuckle at the mortified blush across Naruto's face.

"Stop messing with me, you ass! You did the same thing a few weeks ago and made me drop my ice cream."

Minato held back a snort. "Sorry, sorry," he said, not sounding apologetic at all. "I'll treat you to another one anytime." If dropping his ice cream was all Naruto remembered from that incident, he had his work cut out for him to get his friend to notice his advances. Naruto was as dense as the walls of ANBU holding cells.

"You better. Or else I'll make you one of the two main characters in my Icha Icha book," Naruto threatened ominously as if it was the worst possible insult.

"Are you going to be the other one, Naru-chan?"

"Huh? Of course not. It would be Uzumaki-san."

Minato arched an eyebrow. "Why her?"

"Because you two complement each other," Naruto explained as if stating the obvious.

"We do?" That was news to him. He personally thought no matter how great of a person she was, Kushina was too rowdy most of the time. However, she was one of his few female acquaintances outside of ANBU who wasn't a crazy fangirl, was skilled at keeping them at bay, and was an expert at Fuuinjutsu – all qualities of an excellent friend. But complementing each other…? Erm, no way. "Actually, she kind of scares me half the time."

"Really? Shikaku said the same thing."

"All the male shinobi of our generation are scared of her."

"I see…" This was worrisome. How did his parents get together if Minato was scared of her? Naruto wished he had nagged the Ero-Sennin from his Past more about his parents' relationship, because right now, baby-Naruto was at risk of never being born.

"Naruto, why can't you be the other character?"

"Duh, I'm not a girl."

"But you wouldn't mind it if you were a girl?"

"That would be really weird."

"But you wouldn't mind?"

"Well, you're a great guy, so I doubt anyone would be against taking that part."

"What about you?"

Naruto looked at his friend strangely. "Sheesh, I guess I wouldn't mind. As long as your character isn't called Minato and my character isn't Naruto or Naruko…" A pause. "Hmmm, you and I do get along pretty well. Maybe I could borrow parts of our personalities," he mumbled thoughtfully. "That might work. Jijii was always a sucker for stories where close friends end up as lovers. Though, I'd rather my personality be the guy and yours be the girl."

"You're pretty serious about this…"

"Jijii won't accept anything that could be considered trash."

"Isn't Icha Icha synonymous to trash?"

Naruto looked up in surprise. "You think so too! ?…So you really aren't a pervert?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Minato said, exasperated. "Jiraiya-sensei was pretty upset when he found out I wouldn't follow in his footsteps."

'I bet he'll be even more upset when he finds out I'm after a man,' he thought with great amusement.

"Does that mean you won't be able to help me write this junk?"

"Oh, no, I would be happy to help." Minato set a supportive hand on Naruto's shoulder, close enough to rub his thumb over the unclothed neck. More than happy.

As Naruto tore across the village, he berated himself for forgetting such an important event.

Today marked one year since he arrived in the past. He had been walking aimlessly through the streets, appreciating the buildings, the people, the families, the happiness, and the fact that his home was alive and well and beautiful.

Suddenly, Kyuubi had spoken up, informing him that he had just overheard gossip about one Uchiha Itachi. Naruto had, at that point, tripped over air and barely caught himself in time to avoid face planting on the ground.

June 9th.

Itachi's birthday.

Birth date.

It was a date he had intended to pay respects to (from afar) but had forgotten two weeks ago.

Arriving at the Uchiha Clan Compound, Naruto disguised himself as a bird and masked his chakra. He flew to the main house, circling the building for any sign of the mother or baby.

There!

On the veranda overlooking the beautiful traditional garden, Mikoto sat rocking her first-born child, making funny faces at him uncharacteristic of an Uchiha. The bundle wriggled and hiccupped. It was a heartwarming sight, and also one which almost made Naruto burst out in laughter. He had never before thought Itachi capable of hiccupping. Actually, he had never before thought of Itachi as a baby and mentally smacked himself in the head for imagining that the man was born as…a grown man.

When a little hand peaked from within the cocoon of the white blanket, the time traveler was flooded with the desire to see all of the boy.

Naruto hid himself, released his henge, and donned his Hunter-nin uniform. Taking a deep breath, he leapt into the garden and dropped onto one knee in front of the woman, head bowed low. Less than a second later, the team of ANBU guarding the Uchiha pair surrounded the blonde with weapons raised.

"Uchiha-san, I have come to pay my respects to you and your son." Naruto lifted his piercing blue eyes to meet hers.

One of the ANBU – Frog who had been the first within ANBU to extend a hand of acceptance after the incident with Jackal – gasped.

"Uzuhara?"

"Yes, Frog-san?" He lowered his eyes to Itachi.

"You're Hunter-nin?"

"That's right."

"Oh…" Frog trailed off. "Okay."

Naruto jerked his face to the man standing next to him. "What? That's it?" He asked incredulously. "You don't care that I'm Hunter-nin?"

Frog sheathed his sword and shrugged. "Well, you're pretty cool."

Naruto gaped.

"Does Namikaze-san know?"

Naruto nodded mutely.

"Then I have no problems with what you are. Namikaze-san is a pretty good judge of character."

A wide grin split the blonde's face as he stood. "You know what? You might just be cooler than Minato. Don't tell him I said that, though," he mock whispered conspiratorially. "He'd sulk for days."

"I'll be sure to tell him, then," Frog replied with a chuckle.

"And can you keep this a secret? You know how Hunter-nin aren't very popular."

"Sure, kid," the man assured. He looked at the other ANBU. "Team?"

"Yes, Captain," all four nin answered.

"There! Your secret is safe with us. So, mind telling us what you're doing here? You know this is called breaking and entering, right?"

"No it's not." Naruto tried to look innocent. "I didn't break anything so it's called 'entering.'"

Mikoto watched the exchange with amusement. She relaxed as she listened to the blonde boy – Uzuhara – botch his explanation, sensing that Frog was trying not to laugh at the puppy eyes directed at him.

"ANBU-san, you can stop teasing the poor boy," she called out. "He seems harmless."

One of Frog's teammates snorted. "Uzuhara, harmless? Yeah right. Kid's anything but harmless."

"Well, looks like everything's fine. See you at Headquarters. Let's spar sometime." Frog and his team vanished back to their positions.

"Uchiha-san, c-can I see him?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Of course." Mikoto smiled. "Come here."

Ignoring the urge to shunshin over, he took measured, soundless steps to the woman.

"What's your name?"

"Naruto. Uzuhara Naruto," he told her without lifting his eyes from the small bundle in her arms. He stopped in front of them and knelt down for a closer look.

Oh Kami, it was Itachi.

He was chubby.

His little lips held a stubborn pout, his pudgy cheeks pale and smooth, and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. This was one of the people he respected most in the world. The man who gave up his own life and family for this village and who secretly protected him for years.

"May I hold him?" Although he hadn't planned on coming this close, he felt like he needed to make sure…

Mikoto must have seen the desperation in his expression because her eyes softened and she held her son out to him without hesitation.

Naruto cradled the infant in his arms with utmost care.

"Uchiha Itachi," he tested the name.

As if his voice reached the little ears, Itachi opened large, ebony eyes and gurgled happily at him.

Naruto breathed out a near-silent laugh. He touched a finger to a tiny palm and watched as even tinier fingers curled loosely around it.

"Uzuhara-san?"

Mikoto's voice brought him out of the brief world where only he and Itachi had existed. He then noticed a wetness which turned out to be silent tears rolling down his face.

"Itachi, thank you."

The man had done enough. Suffered enough. Maybe not this Itachi, but they were in essence the same.

"Uchiha-san." Naruto gently returned the boy to his young mother and rose to his feet, standing tall with head held high. "I will protect this boy and your family to the best of my abilities. I swear it." I never go back on my word!

Regardless of whether it was accidental or not, he had been granted this chance to create better lives for his precious people. There was no way he would let it slip through his fingers.

With determination flashing through his eyes, Naruto backed up and bowed until his body was parallel to the ground in the highest respect. For a moment, Mikoto was strongly reminded of her best friend Kushina's face when she had vowed to protect Konoha from the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed within her. The sharp eyes, grim set to the mouth, and slight lift of the chin were unbelievably similar.

"Thank you for allowing me, a complete stranger, to hold your precious son. Your family has my blessing." As he spoke, Naruto's mind was working at full speed. It had all started with Tobi. Tobi was the catalyst to it all, and he was going to hunt the bastard down.

For the first time since he arrived in the past, he was truly, completely thankful to be there. Plans for the war were progressing better than expected, he had gotten to know amazing people, and there was going to be hell to pay when he found the people responsible for the shit that went wrong in his Past.

It was time to begin preparations for the hunt.

Just before Naruto vanished, Fugaku rounded the corner of the hall. Alarmed at the deadly aura surrounding the blonde, his stoic exterior broke and he rushed to his wife and son.

"Mikoto! Are you hurt?"

His unconcerned wife smiled lovingly at him. "I am fine, dear. There is nothing to worry about."

Fugaku froze at his slip of emotions and only barely covered his incoming blush with a stern mask. Uchihas do not blush. He reminded himself. Not even at the woman he is head over heels in love with. However, the widening of Mikoto's smile showed that she had seen through his act.

Fugaku quickly turned his face away from her, to the spot the Hunter-nin had previously stood.

"Who was that boy?"

"That was Uzuhara Naruto, our protector in the shadows." Mikoto leaned over to peck her husband on his cheek. "I believe Itachi will be safe with him watching over us."

Minato noticed the change in behavior immediately.

Naruto had always trained religiously, taking meticulous care to keep his body strong and perfect new techniques. But now, he had doubled his efforts as if fighting towards a nearly unattainable goal.

Minato joined him in training as often as he could, but unlike the Hunter-nin who took sporadic missions wherever most needed, be it for the war, Tokubetsu Jounin infiltration, or Missing-nin elimination, he had regular ANBU missions which took up more of his time than he liked.

It was on one of these missions that Lion suffered a severe injury which put him out of commission for a month.

Hokage-sama had not been pleased. Team 9 had been contracted for an important mission which required their superior skills that no other team could match.

The operational members of the team lined up nervously in front of the Hokage's desk while their village leader vented his irritation on his paperwork, slashing his pen across the sheets viciously. It was piled high in multiple stacks, and Minato promised himself to never be in a position where he had to fill out more than mission reports. The Sandaime was obviously cranky from the cyclical summer influx of paperwork, and Team 9's lack of a team member didn't help his mood.

"This mission was requested directly by the Daimyou. How will I explain to the obstinate man that Konoha will not be able to fulfill his exorbitant demands?" Sarutobi crumpled a document and chucked it angrily into the waste bin. "He creates more paperwork in a week than a month of Council squabbles. I am convinced this is his revenge for the time I accidentally gave him food poisoning before a critical speech ten years ago."

All four ANBUs' eyebrows rose behind their masks.

This time, Sarutobi slammed his fist on his desk, grabbed one of his paperweights while snarling about the increasing number of budget demands and launched it at the window with all his might.

The team watched in fascination as the window opened and the paperweight smashed into the face of a figure hopping through. Coincidence? Probably not. The shinobi toppled back out of the window with an undignified yelp and disappeared from sight.

The Sandaime Hokage continued to slash through the documents as if he hadn't just possibly killed someone.

No one dared to move or speak.

"Jijii, you worthless Hokage! What was that for?" The furious voice of Uzuhara Naruto came from outside. "I came to bring you something good, and you thank me by trying to kill me?" He climbed inside, nursing a broken nose.

"Oh, Naruto. What happened you your face?" Sarutobi asked curiously.

"You threw your paperweight into my face again, senile old man! I would throw one at you too if I didn't know that you would just catch it and throw it back harder."

"Oh, yes, yes. How unfortunate. Naruto, come here and assist me with my paperwork."

"You're asking me for a favor right after you abused me? No way."

"It isn't a request, but an order. You are currently free–" Sarutobi blinked. A smile slowly twisted on his face. It was not a nice smile.

"Oh, no, Jijii. I know that smile. Whatever you're thinking, I'm not doing it."

"It is merely a mission outside the village. If you choose not to accept, you will be assigned to sanitation duty. I am certain the Kurosawa Waste Company employees will appreciate a week off."

"Ugh," Naruto gagged. "Well, then what's the mission?"

"You will temporarily join Team 9 for a mission for the Daimyou."

"No."

Four masked faces looked at the Hunter-nin in surprise.

"I don't like working in teams."

"Then you would rather handle waste disposal?"

Naruto nodded sharply. "I don't work well in teams. I'm leaving." He blurred out of the room leaving it in silence.

Sarutobi sighed.

"Cheetah, you are the only one with any chance of convincing the idiot boy. See what you can do."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Minato was gone in a flash.

He reappeared behind Naruto who had already traveled a surprising distance towards the Forest of Death.

"Naruto…" Minato pushed aside his mask.

"Tch, of course the old man would send you," Naruto growled. "My answer is still no."

"Why?"

The smaller blonde pursed his lips.

"Please, Naruto. Tell me what's wrong." Minato caught a wrist to halt their movement.

Naruto shivered at the touch but didn't shake it off. Looking anywhere but at the ANBU-nin, he spoke tonelessly. "It's because every single team I've been on has either splintered or died. I'm not going to do it again. I haven't worked in a team in over two years anyway."

"It won't require too much coordination. The problem is that Lion is out of commission, but we can't reject this mission for the Daimyou. No other team has the capabilities to fulfill the task."

Minato saw the slight hesitation before Naruto answered with another negative, meaning the Hunter-nin had not yet fully buried his sense of duty.

"You would really rather work with sewage than with us?"

Naruto glared. "That's not the point."

"What about the two of us? We work well together. Remember Suna and our spars? My team knows you too."

"No. Nothing you say is going to convince me."

"Then maybe this will convince you." Minato suddenly wrapped an arm around Naruto's waist, pulling the smaller blonde tightly against him. His other hand slid up Naruto's neck and rested on his scarred cheek.

Knowing what was to come, Naruto struggled to escape but the arm was unrelenting.

"Ready, Naruto?" Minato asked with a roguish smirk.

"Hell, no! Don't you dare–" Naruto threw his head back as potent warmth flooded his body from every point of contact. His knees immediately gave out from the pleasure, and Minato's arm tightened even more to support his weight.

"Mina…to…" the boneless blonde fought against the overwhelming waves to stay focused, but he was slowly but surely losing to the sensations. It was like warm, soothing fingers all over, stroking and kneading lovingly. He clutched Minato's ANBU vest, trying to ground himself somehow.

A light slither of chakra caressed his bared neck, causing Naruto to quiver and moan.

"So, what do you say?" Minato whispered, lips only an inch away from Naruto's. The incoherent Hunter-nin shook his head weakly, almost brushing their lips.

"Still no?" Minato asked in wicked delight. From the arm trapping the waist, he trailed chakra down the back of Naruto's thighs, inciting another louder moan. "Open your eyes, Naruto," he commanded, the soft strength in the velvet voice making it impossible to disobey.

Hazy blue met darkened blue. Those alluring eyes sucked Minato in.

"Won't you do it for me?" Minato began deliberately withdrawing his chakra, leaving light traces that reminded Naruto of the pleasure, but just wasn't enough.

"No," The smaller blonde whimpered, trying to grasp at Minato's chakra with his own.

"No, what?"

"Don't leave…"

"You want me back?" Minato traced Naruto's bottom lip with a chakra coated thumb. Fuck, it was soft and tempting.

"Yes, Mina…"

Do you even realize what you're saying, Naruto?

"Agree to the mission and I'll give you a bit more." Minato lowered the hand to narrow hip and spread out a light, meandering layer. His pulse quickened when Naruto's pink tongue snaked out to lick the tingling lip back and forth. The tongue retreated, and glistening lips dropped open to let out a shuddering sigh.

"N-not there…" The time seal…

"What's your answer?" Minato urged hoarsely, knowing he could only take a little more of this enticing display before he would start wanting more.

Naruto barely heard the question as his entire body thrummed with Minato's warmth. He couldn't get enough of the wonderful feeling of being accepted and protected. A part of his mind – the jaded Hunter-nin – rejected the warmth, raising suspicions of intent, but another part of his mind – Uzumaki Naruto – wanted to make the warmth his own. The indecision frightened him, but it also felt like something good lay beyond the resolution of this mental conflict.

He needed to know more, feel more.

Naruto pressed himself closer.

Minato's breath hitched as the body in his arms rubbed against him. He was starting to lose control. This adorable, clueless blonde was evoking feelings, both emotional and physical, he had never experienced before. He had to pull back now, or else he might hurt Naruto.

"Naruto, please do the mission with us," Minato whispered into Naruto's neck, lips just skimming the skin. "I want you there."

Naruto shivered and finally gave in. "…Okay."

Minato smiled and nuzzled the neck, then pulled back little by little.

It took several minutes for Naruto to fully wake from the haze, and when he did, he let out a frustrated shout.

"You!" Naruto leapt back, almost tripping on rubbery knees. "That's playing dirty! You know I'm weak against your chakra!"

"Hey, you use your puppy eyes against me all the time. This makes it even."

"How the hell is it even? My way isn't nearly as effective as yours," Naruto grumbled. "I've got to find a better method, or I'm going to keep losing."

Minato wanted to shake his friend and shout that it wasn't just a competition to him.

"You like it, though."

"No I don't," Naruto denied.

Minato hid a grin. "'You're sure you don't want to feel it again? The warmth that makes your worries melt away. Are you sure you won't miss me?"

"I…yes…well, no…"

Naruto huffed in anger and frustration, mostly at himself.

Minato smirked triumphantly; he had just made a small chip in Naruto's thick skull. Progress, however little, was still progress.

He slung his arm over Naruto's shoulders. "Come on, don't be mad. I'm weak against your eyes, and you use it a lot more often than I use my chakra. Think about how many times you've conned me into treating you to ramen."

Naruto scowled. "Whatever. Let's just go see the stupid old man."

Team 9 had been waiting at the gate for fifteen minutes by the time Naruto arrived.

"Sorry guys," he apologized. "I had to get outfitted in ANBU gear."

The team examined Naruto's uniform, finding it a little strange to see him with a light grey vest armor and arm guards instead of how he usually dressed without any identifying vest at all.

Naruto moved his new ANBU mask over his face.

The ANBU Captain studied it curiously. "What's your mask? I don't recognize it."

"I'm the first one to choose it," Naruto informed him proudly. "Do you really want to know?"

"I need to call you by a codename," Cheetah pointed out.

"Okay then," Naruto said, straightening professionally and saluting.

"Thank you for having me, Captain. Turtle at your service."

Cheetah dropped the pouch he had been fastening.

"Turtle?" The Temporary ANBU could easily imagine the incredulous, gaping face. "You chose a creature known for its slowness?"

The speediest Turtle in the world grinned. "I thought it would be funny."

"Yes, Captain, 'slow and steady wins the race,'" Jaguar deadpanned.

Tiger and Leopard who had been listening from the side burst out laughing.

"See, they agree."

A/N: Wouldn't you want to snatch this smoking hot Minato for yourself? Naruto, unfortunately, is totally blind to this...

The mystery character was Itachi :)