Chapter 21: Lies

After buying some ingredients and drinks, Rohanne went back to her house, as she was nearing the front door, she can't help but get nervous.

'Why is she here? I clearly told her to don't come near me, is her stubbornness acting up again?'

When she opened the door, she expected to see Seju in the living room, sitting and waiting for them, but the latter was not in the living room, so she went straight to the kitchen, where she found no one.

'Where are they?'

She just shrugged her head and continued cooking, a few minutes later Eunji came back with a plastic bag in his hands.

"What are those?"

"Drinks! I bought these earlier I think you might need these"

She inspected the bag Eunji bought and saw that the contents were alcoholic drinks; she immediately grimaced and shoved the drinks onto Eunji

"What? You don't like what I bought?" The man asked and chuckled, he knew that Rohanne drinks anything alcoholic.

"I… don't drink anymore…"

She remembered how Sejeong told her that drinking alcohol is really bad for her health, which was true, and she knows it, but she never saw someone oppose to drinking alcohol so badly, so ever since she tried not to drink any alcoholic beverages.

"What? Rohanne Baek? Not drinking? That's new!" He said and placed the drinks he bought on the countertop.

"Yeah, anyway where's Seju, I haven't seen her in the Living room?"

"Oh Yeah! I forgot to tell you. Your phone was ringing so I told her to get it becau—"

Rohanne didn't let Eunji finish his sentence; she rushed towards her study room and saw the door open. When she entered her study she saw Seju, holding a picture, the picture that she has been keeping for the past years.

"What are you doing here?"

Seju looked at her immediately as soon as she heard Rohanne's voice, her hands trembling, with the photograph that Rohanne treasures. Shock was evident on the latter's face, she looked at the photograph that Seju was holding, and the memories she had with Seju and Seungjae flashed like a scene from a movie.

On the other hand Seju was focused on Rohanne not minding where the latter was looking at. She took a deep breath as she was just a meter away from the blonde woman.

"Where did you get this?"

She asked, as she lifted up the picture and showed it to Rohanne but the latter can't seem to utter a single word, she stayed silent as she glued her eyes on the photograph in Seju's hands.

"Why do you have this picture?"

She asked once again, but Rohanne was still not answering her. As soon as the latter gathered her composure her expression shifted.

"Dr. Baek… No, Rohanne… Please tell me the truth. Who are you?"

Rohanne ignored Seju's question as she look the latter with her dead eyes. She gritted her teeth as she watch Seju.

'…Selfish…'

She thought Seju was being Selfish right now. Asking all those questions like she was the only one who was hurting, like she was the only one who was going through something. She was being selfish as hell.

She snatched the photograph from Seju's hands and made her way to her desk and placed the photograph back to the frame where it belongs. She then fixed it on her desk. She made her way to Seju and looked at the latter.

"You know, you shouldn't go around entering someone else's rooms without the owner's consent"

Seju's gaze was just glued to Rohanne the whole time, her question still unanswered.

"Anyway let's go, lunch is ready" Rohanne said and held Seju by the wrist, she needs to get Seju out of that room or She'll see more than she needed to see.

"You're not answering my question!"

Seju yelled, Rohanne tried to compose herself and keep her emotions in check because she might do something.

"Because I don't want to" She sternly replied not batting an eye on Seju who was already fuming in frustration.

The latter swatted her hands making them stop on their tracks.

"Rohanne!"

Seju can't contain her emotions any longer, on the other hand Rohanne was just looking at her dead in the eyes, like she was the most hateful person in the world, but at the same time she wanted to hug Seju and tell her everything, tell her everything she went through, everything that was troubling her and tell her that she's still in love with her.

"What's happening here?"

The two ignored his presence and was still looking at each other. Longing, anger, happiness, resentment. The two were feeling those emotions as of the moment.

"Please tell me… Who ar—"

The woman wasn't able to finish her sentence when the front door swung open. The three of them snapped their head to the door and saw Jin-Ae with Austin.

"Unnie! I was trying to ca—"

As soon as she saw Seju she knew Rohanne was done for.

"Unnie?"

Rohanne looked at Seju and in that moment she knew that the woman knows what's happening, she already knew who Beak Rohanne really was.

"What the hell…"

Rohanne wanted to explain everything, but it already came to this so she had no other choices. Her secret has been revealed, and in a very unsightly way.

She smiled bitterly as she remembered the time she spent with Seju as Rohanne. The stories the woman shared with her, how Seju wants to kill her so badly and how the latter misses her so much.

The stories about her… The moments she spent with Seju as Rohanne…

"Yeonhwa…"

It was the first time she heard that name again. And hearing it from Seju's lips, it felt like she was being stabbed by a hundred knives to the heart.

She already buried Baek Yeonhwa long ago, along with Seungjae.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She faced Seju with all her courage trying to mask all her emotions, her urge, to just hug the woman in front of her.

"Let's talk…"

Eunji and Jin-Ae just watched as the two just stared at each other.

'What's happening? Who's Yeonhwa?' Eunji was very surprised and confused at what's happening, but he stayed silent, he can feel the pressure in the atmosphere between the two.

After a few moments, Rohanne finally gathered herself, she held Seju by the wrist and lead the way to her study room. The two who were dumbfounded just stayed at the living room and waited for Rohanne and Seju.

"I hope they don't kill each other…" Jin-Ae said as she sat on the couch

"What? Why would they kill each other? And who are you?" Eunji asked and looked at Jin-Ae Suspiciously. The latter just looked at him with distaste

"It's none of your business…" She retorted and then stood up to find Austin.

Meanwhile the two who was inside the study room were being quiet, they were dead silent that they can hear each other's breathing.

"Yeon…"

Seju started off. They were just a few meters apart but to Rohanne it felt like they were miles apart, too afraid to reach for the woman in front of her because she might lose her shit.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Rohanne asked as she looked at Seju straight in the eyes. Tears were attempting to fall from them, just the sight of the woman in front of her can either make her cry or smile.

"That…" Seju hesitated, but she gathered her strength to utter the name of her best friend "That you're Yeonhwa…" She said and took a step closer to Rohanne, but she abruptly stopped when she heard the latter's reply.

"Is there a need to?"

She nonchalantly replied. She thought that maybe this was the right thing to do, to hurt and lie to Seju once again. A step she needs to make to let go of her feelings for the woman in front of her. The last thing she needs to do to sever her ties with her past self and feelings that she has been holding in for the past decade. A step to Seju's happiness, without her.

Seju just looked at her in disgust and disappointment.

'She's not the Yeonhwa I know…'

"Fuck you…" She said as she walked towards Rohanne and slapped her as hard as she can. The latter just accepted the slap like it was a punishment that she was supposed to receive.

"A decade… I've waited for a decade, to hear an explanation, a reason, even though it's lame I'll accept it, but all I get is this? Fuck You." She said and gave Rohanne another slap

"That… That is for leaving me and Seungjae, leaving without a word, a letter, a note, or even a simple goodbye."

Another slap was given to Rohanne but the latter was just standing on her place frozen, she just takes in whatever Seju was giving to her. She deserved it after all….

But this would be the last time…

"That's for lying to me… I told you how I felt, how I wanted to kill you, how I wanted strangle you, how I wanted to hug you, how I wanted to get you back… How I wanted to forget you… But I just couldn't…"

Tears started to fall from Seju's eyes.

"I waited for a decade, I waited for so damn long but this is all I get. You bastard…"

Rohanne looked at Seju who was now crying her heart out. She wanted to hug the latter, but she's hesitating. So instead, she just took a step back away from Seju.

"I screamed your name many times, I cried in front of you, I… I thought you were dead…"

Seju started hitting her on her chest, without any complain, Rohanne accepted all the beating Seju was giving her.

"Why… Why did you have to Lie to me? Why did you have to deny everything? I can't remember how many times I cried in front of you and told you my problems. How many times I told you that I was hurting. You know how much I cried because I missed you! So why?! I just want answers Yeon! Why did you have to leave?"

She grabbed Rohanne's collar and started shaking her.

Rohanne wanted to hug her, to tell her she's sorry, to ask for forgiveness. But she can't.

'I'm so sorry Seju… But you're already getting married and it'll make things more complicated'

She held Seju's hands and swatted it from her collar.

"Because I feel so suffocated when I'm with you and Seungjae…"

She said as she looked at Seju with disdain in her eyes.

"What did you say?"

Surprise was written all over her face. She wasn't expecting Rohanne to utter those words

"Do I have to repeat myself? You are suffocating…" She said emphasizing the last three words "Do you think that you were the only ones who were hurt during those times Seju? Do you know how much I've suffered because of the two of you?"

She wasn't lying… She did suffer whenever she sees Seju and Seungjae together, but the happy moments she spent with them were real too.

She received another slap from Seju but this time it was harder and heavier. But she didn't bulge.

"You two were such a nuisance… That I had to leave…"

She wanted to tell her that it wasn't true. That she wanted to stay, that she didn't want to go, that she didn't want their friendship to end even though the two of them were already together.

"No… No…"

Seju took a step back and shook her head.

"You know why I didn't tell you who I was?" Rohanne looked at Seju and the latter did as well, then Rohanne smirked like she was some villain. "Because I didn't want to involve myself with you…"

She was trying to comfort herself, telling her head that she was doing the right thing, even though deep in her chest she wanted to take back all the words she just said. She wanted to tell her how she missed her so much. She wanted to hug her, to hold her hands. She wanted to wipe all those tears away.

"I so fucking hate you…"

Seju broke down and cried her heart out; Rohanne on the other hand was also starting to breakdown but she composed herself and stood her ground. Without any more words Seju walked out of the study room. She wanted to ran after her, but being the coward she is, she just clenched her fist and stood her ground.

When She was sure that Seju was away from her she turned around and walked towards the door to catch a glimpse of Seju even for a moment. But she quickly regretted it when she saw Eunji hugging Seju, trying to comfort her.

She let out a bitter smile

'… This… is the right thing…'

This is what she wanted anyway, to see Seju in the arms of someone she knew will protect her, her Seju… someone who will always be there for her and never leave her, with that she is contented, even though that someone isn't her.

"I missed you…"

She whispered to the wind, wishing that maybe Seju can hear her and know what the content of her heart really is.

After a few minutes of staring at the two, she locked herself in the study room and sat on her swivel chair. She smiled and laugh as the tears that was welling up in her eyes are falling.

"This is for the best…"

She cried her heart out, trying to make all the pain go away in one shot, until she can't cry anymore. Until her heart gets numb.