The Confession!

Man, she's a wild beast, she had me panting and she still wasn't finished with me. The best part was that she was really enjoying this entire time, in fact, she was having the time of her life.

"I LOVE YOU!", she confesses, filled in emotion while I was pinning her against the wall with her legs wrapped around my back.

I paused for a moment and looked deep into her eyes, at first it occurred to me as a random sex moment, ya know where partners make super big promises to each other and stuff while making out. To my surprise, she wasn't just in full swing but she was dead serious too. No wonder I had it coming.

"Do you mean it?", I ask her rhetorically while she wraps her arms around my neck and breathes deeply into me.

"Yes, I love you.", she gives a sweet smile and closes in with a kiss onto my lips.

"Man, you're wild!"

*she gives a pretty smile while puffing on her Newport menthol cigarette*

Our sex reached a pleasant climax when she orgasmed and then wrapped white sheets around her beautiful body. We both rolled into the bed panting and she flicked on the air conditioning, I could see sweat on her forehead. She was being cute all while she laid alongside me and nudged into me while I reached out for my cigarette and lighter on the bedside drawer.

"Hey, what's with the blade?", I snapped, spotting this old kitchen knife resting on the bedside drawer that was pretty big for a normal knife and had a beat-up wooden butt.

"I'm a whore who loves blades.", she scoffs.

"So, you think you're a whore?", I ask her skeptically.

"Hmpt, pft. Nevermind that. I always keep blades on me, in case somebody threatens me and needs a good gutting.", She leaned and reached over me to grab her weapon of self defense.

"D'you have a history or something? Ooh, and the other day I picked up a smell of gunpowder here, you keep a gun too?", I asked rhetorically.

"It's in the bathroom, in the tub, gorgeous. "

"What's it doing in the tub?", I cracked a laughter. I mean was that supposed to be an obvious place to hide a firearm. I couldn't control my giggles to the fact that she answered with a straight face, it was really funny to me.

"I was playing with it and left it in the tub last night, it's one of my toys, hehe."

"Do you even know how to use a gun?"

"What's so hard about using a gun, just aim and squeeze the trigger that's all right? Here like this…", she jumped off the bed and demonstrated how she holds and uses a gun with her hands. I immediately knew she was an amateur because she demonstrated a bad stance. But, I didn't break in while she was showing me her combat gun reflex because she looked really cute while doing so, naked.

She wraps her robe around and pulls me off the bed with both her hands just like a kid pulls their parents' hands to buy them toys. I didn't resist much, she was being very cute today and I didn't want to spoil the moment, even though I was tired after plowing her hard against the wall. I'm sure the neighboring rooms must've heard her loud moans and the thudding noise against the wall. I put out my cigarette in her fancy coffin with a skeleton popping cigarette ashtray even though it was still half left. She pulled me to the bathroom and swinged the door shut on our way in. I could see the gun in the tub with almost a dozen cigarette butts and a fancy glass with a little woody colored drink in it, possibly whisky. It seemed like she was sitting in the tub for hours. I turn and open my mouth to see my teeth against the mirror over the sink and she calls me to join her in the shower.

I was super tired before and after the hot shower my body muscles relaxed and I dropped myself on the bed while she was still in the shower doing some gurly stuff, which I didn't really care for and came out since I was really sleepy.

"Man, I needa sleep. Ugh."

The bed looked so heavenly and strangely comfortable at this point for me to jump into. The white sheets looked messy but the pillows seemed like they could bury my head into them and induce me into a deep sleep. Without any further delays, I dropped myself onto the bed and gave in to sleep.

Deep in the night, right around past 3 am, she sneaked out of our bed, slipped on a rugged hoodie and boots, and quietly sneaked out the door of the hotel room. She remained very careful, not to wake me from sleep, but this time around, I was light sleeping tonight and as she got off the bed I sensed it. She didn't know that I was awake, I pretended to sleep and watched her slip away. I quickly got off the bed, put my clothes on and followed her.

"Where's she going at this time of the hour, and what's with the clothes…?!?!", I followed her out of the hotel building and kept my distance so as not to alarm her.

It was strange because she kept walking and walking and walking slowly, much like a stroll. Everything was dark around the block except for the street lights which were gleaming extraordinarily in the dark on the sidewalks. I followed her straight for 10 minutes and she kept on walking until I lost my patience and walked up to her, surprising her.

"Booooo!", I gently jerked her from the back to surprise her.

She turned immediately and pulled out her beloved knife on me in a defensive stance.

"Woah woah, It's me, It's me!!", I exclaimed.

"Are you following me? Didn't I leave you sleeping in the room?? What are you doing here?"

"EXACTLY. What are you doing here at this time of the night?"

"I like to walk at night alone. I love the dark quiet night and the freedom about it."

"That's new, I didn't know you was into philosophy."

"Shut up, and walk with me!"

"I don't think that's a very good idea, there's nothing down the road, except for some abandoned houses and ghosts.", I tried to persuade her in a jolly good tone.

"Are you scared?", she was reluctant. 

"What me? No way I'm not scared of the dark."

"Great then, come join me."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Where we heading?"

"I dont know!"

I accompanied her along her little late night adventure, and all we did was walk around the sidewalk without any specific place to go. Some time into the walk, it felt relaxing and serene and I started feeling the vibe with her. It was 20 minutes already into our walk and silence was wailing, so I turned to her to engage her in a conversation, and I saw portable headphones on her ears inside the hood, she was listening to music all this time. In the next few seconds, she immediately turned towards me, must've used her peripheral vision.

"Is there something wrong?", she asks me, pulling off her headphones.

"Not particularly, as I was saying, I do feel a little lighter. This is good. How long you been doing these late night walks?, I ask her.

"I dont really remember, this is what freedom feels like, I've been walking out nights for as long as I can remember. There's nobody to see me, judge me, and I can feel myself dissolve in the serenity of dark.", she states.

"Interesting, you're speaking like a totally different person right now."

"You don't know me huh!", she scoffs.

It has been almost 30 minutes since we been walking down the road straight without any direction, just heading straight like something awaits us at the end of the road. One thing I'm noticing constantly is that she doesn't turn to me while talking, she just keeps on walking and converses with me at the same time, which kind of felt like I was walking to myself, but she had a focus on me too, I could feel that in her tone. 

She had been acting a bit strange lately because I have known her for a week now, plus we been screwing too, but never I knew that she would turn out to be a loner. Seriously, she was holding out an enormous part of her personality from me, all I knew was a gurl who didn't hold back her emotions or desires, and as it turns out she is completely different.

We stopped at a lamp post, and she sat down on the sidewalk with her feet on the road. She pulls out her Newports, tosses one between her lips and lights.

"Are you gunna join me or what?!?!", she finally looks above at me from under the hood.

I squat down pressing against her shoulder. She extends the pack of Newport cigs at me, but I refuse. I wasn't really in the mood of smoking a menthol ciggie and at this time of the night. Upon my refusal, she tosses the pack back in her ripped blue jeans and continues inhaling the life out of her cigarette. We sat there without saying anything to each other and a deep silence wailed around us. It was already striking past 4 in the morning and we were almost 3 miles away from the hotel, and my eyes were filled with sleep. In fact she didn't know but I was partially asleep already. I noticed her right thumb nail slightly bent inwards from the tip and I couldn't resist but to ask her.

"Hey, your nail is deformed or something?"

She scoffs, and looks at her thumb, and turns over to show me.

"My abusive father once slammed my hand in the door and broke my thumb.", her answer startled me.

"Your dad did what?!?!?"

"My dad was bipolar. Sometimes, he was nice, he would carry me around and play me music. He was always in a band. He would sing to me and told me no matter where I was, I could find him and be safe. But, then... He'd do shit like drug me with cough meds to put me to sleep and leave me with random druggies so he could fuck off. He was a coke addict.", her voice deepened while she talked.

"Sweet mother of lord. Why??? Did he like ever tried to get intimate with you?

"I do come from the south. He didn't fuck me though, but he left me with people that did."

"Thats some twisted lunatic hillbilly shit."

"Maybe."

"Did ya ever just...ya know...if the dick was yelling at ya, almost wish he was hitting you instead? I never cried when he hit me cuz at least he wasn't hurting my brother or my mother, but if he was yelling….I just wanted to die.", she told me with an empty emotion on her face.

I closed on her and tried to comfort her with body language but she seemed reluctant, and it all made sense ta me now. She had a troubled childhood and I assumed it left her shattered and traumatized, and why wouldn't it. I tried again to reach my right arm around her and this time around she let me.

"I'm here for you babe.", I comforted her with compassion and warmth.

"I been raped several times even before I was 12. I always answered with just 'yes' or 'no' when my mother asked about the abuse. I never told anybody this - Except for you.", she seemed to have a lot of trust in me.

"What are we to each other? I mean what is the relationship between us?", I ask this question being flooded with emotion towards her.

"Why do you want to define our relationship? Do you not like it as it is already?", she remarks.

"I mean, we're not like the normal girlfriend boyfriend typa thing, we're much more than that."

"YES!"

"You know youre actually right we shouldn't name it, we're so in love and we dont have to put a label on it."

"YES!"

"I love you…..", I confessed my love to her.

"I LOVE YOU TOO!", she nudged into my neck.

I immediately knew this is one of those moments where I knew things were gunna get romantic from now on, in fact I had it coming from the start, it was flickering, but I was unsure about it. I didn't try to fight this feeling and let myself flow along this river of passion. I wasn't looking for love in the first place because I do happen to have a bad history with love and relationships, and in the past, I was left alone, broken, shattered, and super devastated which completely turned my life around and flipped over my personality.

"I want us to walk together down the road until the end of the world with my hand clamped in yours. We will stop at a beach, we will then walk up to the water, slip off our clothes and swim to the horizon where the sun sets. We'll swim until we can't any further and drown in each others' arms.", she added.

I was looking deep into her eyes while she was picturing us together in a fantasy love bond. This night couldn't get any more vague than this. Sleep was already on my back and calling out to me, I was tired, at the moment I couldn't really tell if she was doing drugs or something or maybe it was the night time, ya know the time when its quiet around and you can hear your heart beat in your chest, or maybe I could be wrong, she might be falling for me, but still I can't just fall for that, I have to be sure before I drop my weapons. She moved further into me and adjusted her head onto my lap. I pull the hood back down to her neck and run my hand through her hair slowly and gently.

"Do you think I'm pretty?", I heard her voice from down my lap.

"You're beautiful!", I nodded, while gently moving my palm on the back of her neck.

The lamp post flickered for some seconds and caused absolute darkness for split seconds, thus adding to the sublimity of the moment, our moment. Her hair felt fresh, I could smell the luscious fragrance of the shampoo she used on her hair. She moved out from my lap and looked straight into my eyes, her almond eyes sparkled under the dimmed light of the lamppost, and I wondered, I could drown myself in those eyes for once.

"I think we should get back to the hotel.", she stood up and pulled the hood back on her head, stretching it over to the forehead.

I followed her back to the hotel, and man it was a long walk back. She was walking quite fast, it appeared like she wanted to get back before the sunshine, turns out I too wanted that but was drained. The way I walked to the hotel, somebody could've easily mistaken me for an urban zombie or a druggie, plus I wasn't wearing anything decent at all. I almost gave up when we reached up to the hotel and she had to like drag me to the room all by herself.

"Did somebody break into your room?", I panicked when she opened the door and everything was scattered and messy everywhere. It seemed like somebody was looking for something.

All my clothes were turned upside down and were tossed everywhere, her bags were ripped open, and my car keys were missing. All while in this alarming situation, she seemed calm and it appeared like she knew it would happen. She fling the door closed on her way in and dropped herself on the messy bed, like she was exhausted and all worked up.

"Why are you not panicking?? Somebody broke into your room, must've taken something??"

She pretended like she didn't listen to me, and closed her eyes.

"Something is fishy going around here.", I say to myself inaudibly.