1 I overlooked...

Rejection is a factor which, if you take seriously can ruin many things in your life. Moreover, to understand this I took my whole life.

Hi! Myself Arsenica, currently I work as a librarian. A mishap in my life took another turn when I committed suicide for the first time. It was not a bodily suicide, it was a mental breakdown suicide. My life within a nutshell can't be explained, so listen hard: With a peg of wine, and the box of truths, I am going to give you a million pieces of advice. To get these advices, read through:

My life has been an inevitable series of mistakes that I did unknowingly and unfortunately these mistakes were non-refundable. Why so?

To be honest I never expected to live with the one whom I fell in love with. Yet the involvement that happened with me was arduous.

So, I was fifteen years old, togetherness was a huge and unreachable topic for me back then.Even the mindset that I bore was quite lame. I had strict parents. The time of my life which I was experiencing made it quite hard for me to catch. the train of my feelings. I couldn't sync my mind with my heart. Moreover, a couple who always sat idle to get the chance to criticise me were my parents.

Speaking blindfolded, when I understood that none except me and my heart would understand me, I got the power to leave everyone behind and walk alone on my way with nobody holding back in my hand.

Every night I remember about the small mistakes that I conducted when I was a lame teenager. I am supported by nobody, only some inanimate objects support me by their materialism. None other than them...

Basically, I fell in love at an early age, imagining the situation, nothing feels right.

I lost my parents when I was seventeen, which I am least concerned about.

My childhood had been a mishap. None other than my pet would communicate with me and so on. From an early age itself, I was quite good in literature. I could understand well, I could recommend books to people. My passion was literature. Growing up, I received many medals and awards for my summarisation of literary pieces, speech scripts and writing talents. I participated in many competition, from which I used to be paid well.

My parents, rather wanted me to become a maths genius. They wanted me to take over the science stream for my career. Though, I personally knew that I couldn't flourish in the scientific industry but to keep the hearts of my parents, I had to agree to their words. Fortunately, their untimely death rescued me from that nuance.

I was having an intense abhorrent attitude to my parents, I wanted them to leave me alone and they eventually did. Speaking of my love life, it has never been very easy to target through my normal life. Together, my life wholly was and is a mess.

Formerly speaking, I am an introvert and my parents were extreme extroverts. Just because I am an introvert didn't mean that they could under gratify me and under-estimate me in all grounds. "You are a nostalgic creature, who sits back at her room and revises all her dumb*ss memories.", they would say. They would ask me: From which hell have you been budded in this beautiful earth. It is not a place for you to live in. During the pandemic, I was much crippled. Those words and nowhere to go, Imagine the situation.

There was a boy in our class. He was a new comer. He was Korean by nationality and damn! he was handsome as hell... me, being an introvert fell for him. His name was Chung-Hee. I was very polite in the beginning of that session. I was in the 10th grade. He was a k-pop fan and wanted to become a K-pop artist.

On the first day of the session, I approached our classroom, I was not late but my pace of walking was quite relative. I had a vanity bag suspended from my soldier and held some book in my embrace. I wore a pair of red framed spectacles, my body was wrapped in a top and pair of jeans.

I was going to enter the classroom and a tall body came rushing towards me in a skateboard. Before I could understand anything, he hit me and all my books got ejected in the air and I fell on the ground with the boy hovering over me. I opened my eyes as I felt a warm body over mine. I couldn't take my eyes away from the face.

Long lashes, square eyebrows, foxy eyes, sharp nose, v-shaped face, no wrinkles or fold on his face was to be noticed by my eyes. His hair was brown and his eye ball sparkled with the grey colour which perfectly contrasted his milky skin colour. We spent almost half minute upon each other and the corners of his lips curled; revealing his white; perfectly aligned teeth as he smiled on my face and crawled up to stand on his feet. To my surprise, a dense crowd had already been accumulated along the incident.

My best friend came and pulled me up. I stood up to see the handsome boy holding his shirt with one of his hands and seeming to brush down the dust from it. My best friend named Ayra, was an Indian and an extrovert too. Though she was an extrovert but she was kind- hearted. She believed that introverts are also humans and they also should get an authority on this Earth.

"Don't you know new boy, skating, running, jumping and doing any kind of idiotic act in the school corridor is prohibited?", shouted Ayra as I held her hand tightly. She looked at me with raged eyes and cooled herself as she understood my expressions which were trying to tell her to stop.

"Oh miss, are you hurt anywhere? I didn't knew that lying on a beautiful girl and making an eye- contact with her can work as a crowd puller so well. I know that you enjoyed it, of course it would be a magical ride for any woman to lie upon me or so long. Though do you mind giving me your number sweetheart?", The boy said as he created a sarcastic environment in the corridor.

Ayra pulled me back and I looked at him back for I couldn't take my eyes away from his face. I looked forward and went quite far in the corridor with Ayra as I heard him shouting"Sorry darling...".

From that day on, I was quite interested in him, before that day, I was never so interested on a boy. During the class, I would turn back and look an him for like one minute each time and this thing would go on for 2 to 3 times in a class of 40 minutes.

My best friend would notice it and sigh to make me realise that the class was still going on.

I was doing so because I became more open to my surroundings after smashing with him. Moreover, I was only fifteen then, according to my age, I was supposed to be interested in the opposite gender.I never criticised myself for doing that and still today, after nine years I don't find my mistake in any kind of act that I did. May be that is self love.

I never ever tried to bust my mind over red handed boys who would run behind sexual pleasure, but then I got involved in him so much that I became unapproachable to my real life and its current situation.

There was a bully in my class back then, he was like a reporter, he loved to report hot news to the parents of the students who are centred in that particular incident.

She went to my parents one day and told them,"Your girl was showing us how to romance in front of the classroom. I never knew that she was such a bi*ch."

When I returned back to my home, I saw my parents sitting on the couch with red faces equivalent to the Roma tomatoes of the markets. That day, it was raining, I looked at them and soon my father, in a rush, raised up and held my arm to slag me out of the house at the night. Before smashing the door at my face they said,"Don't you dare proclaim yourself as our daughter, we have never wanted not be parents of a bi*ch like you and never will." and boom.

I walked in the pouring rain out of the house and was just thinking of what to do next. That night I went to the bus stop of the city and slept on the bench, shivering with cold and wearing the drenched clothes.