Chapter Forty-four

The tips of her fingers were blue, her teeth banging together when the first few rays of sunshine broke through the clouds. Enid wrapped her cloak around her tighter, blowing into the palms of her hands and rubbing them together as she tried to get warm.

"Why are you out here, Enid?" she heard, turning to see Freya and Hilda approaching.

Freya ran for her, rubbing Enid's arms and watching her closely. It was when Enid went to brush some of Freya's hair behind her ears that Freya's eyes fell, when she grabbed Enid's arms and stared at her wrist.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," Enid said, pulling her wrist free.

"Don't lie, Enid," Freya snapped. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Freya, I promise."

Freya leaned back, staring at Enid with her eyes so cold and sharp, but then Hilda sighed, stepping around them to pull the barn door open.

"Pack up," she shouted inside. "The Jarl is leaving."

Those men inside grumbled, some of them stirring quicker than others and already making their way out of the barn, yawning and sighing, and Enid's eyes dropped as they walked past her, not wanting them to see her, all of her anger, all of her strength now gone. He was the last to come out, his hand clutching his side and she couldn't look at him either, but she felt it, how her face was scrunching up in a tight scowl, how the taste in her mouth had turned to something bitter and sour.

That taste was still there when she climbed into the back of the cart beside Freya, but she still couldn't look at him when he handed Frigga to her and grunted as he sat in the front. She could feel them though, those eyes that flicked between their faces, that stiff tension that had gripped the girl watching them. For a moment Enid thought Freya would ask, for a moment she braced herself but for what she didn't know. Maybe Ivar would lash out at the girl, maybe he would blame Enid for the ice that was now between them, but then Freya sighed, leaning back against the side of the cart and folding her arms around her chest.

"Be good, Freya," Hilda said, her arm coiling over the side of the cart to clutch at the girl's arm. "And listen to your father. He's smarter than he looks."

"I will, Aunt Hilda."

"Good," Hilda smiled, squeezing the girl's arm one last time before she let go. "Remember everything I told you, Enid," she added and Enid looked at the woman, not knowing if it was Hilda or Helga that she spoke to then.

"I'll keep them safe," she said, and Hilda nodded, lifting Little Helga in her arms so she could see their faces.

"Frigga…" the girl mumbled, her eyes half-closed and her head leaning against her mother's cheek.

"Helga," Frigga answered, reaching out a finger to try to poke at her cousin, and the girls laughed and smiled to each other before Ivar flicked the reins and the cart started moving.

"Look after them, Ivar," Hilda said, but Ivar only grunted in return, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of them, but just that grunt was enough to stiffen Enid's shoulders.

She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth and turning her head away from him, but then she saw Freya watching her, her eyes unblinking, her head tilting to the side and Enid didn't know what to do.

"Helga," Frigga said then, her hands reaching out to her cousin left behind them and Enid saw how close Frigga was to crying, how red and puffy her cheeks were already as those fingers curled and uncurled in front of her.

"It's alright, Frigga," Enid whispered, bouncing the girl in her arms a little.

"Helga!" Frigga cried. "No, down! Helga!"

"It's alright, Frigga," Enid said.

"Helga! Helga!"

It was feeling that sharpness spring into Freya, it was feeling the girl beside her somehow stiffen, somehow cave in on herself that trapped Enid's voice in her throat, and she saw him from the corner of her eye, how his head fell, how he gripped the reins so tightly his knuckles went white.

"Ssshhh, it's alright, Frigga. We'll come and see her as soon as we can and where we're going there'll be lots of other children for you to play with," Enid said.

"Helga…" Frigga mumbled, curling into Enid's neck and sighing a big sigh.

"I know," Enid said, holding her close. "But we're going to go see Tyr."

Frigga sat up at that, smiling and poking at Enid's cheek. "Tyr!" she said.

"Yes," Enid laughed.

"'Reya!" Frigga pointed, "And far!"

Enid watched that back stiffen even more, saw that tension seep a little further inside him and for a moment she was glad, for a moment it felt good to see him so broken, but then that taste came back, then more bitter, more sour, than it had ever been before. She sighed, getting up on her knees so that Frigga could stand on the seat next to Ivar.

"Far!" Frigga laughed, and it took him a moment before he could wrap an arm around her, before he could hold her to his chest and take a deep breath.

Enid watched something in him melt, watched his shoulders drop as Frigga buried herself in his neck, and she couldn't help it, some part of her softened too, some part of her had her looking away so she didn't have to see that pain in his face, but then she felt it, that hand that wrapped around hers, so warm and soft, nowhere near that painful grip that it had been the night before. So gently he squeezed, so tight was her throat now that that stiffness in him was gone.

And she squeezed his hand back.