Chapter Eighty

Enid froze when she rounded the corner, her eyes falling on the children and her cheeks flushing with heat; but Ivar strode past her, going to the table and pouring himself a cup of water from the jug, his shoulders slack and his steps easy.

"Here, Enid." Tyr said, nudging the chair beside him and smiling. For a moment longer she hesitated, her eyes flicking between all of their faces; and then she sighed, grabbing that chair and going to sit in it. "Wait!" Tyr shouted, suddenly jumping up, bundling his cloak in his hands and putting it down on the chair for her. "There." he said, patting it. "Sounds like Ivar gave you a hard time."

His face split into a huge grin then, Freya's hand darting to cover her lips as she laughed before she clutched at her sides. Ivar grabbed the back of Tyr's head, grunting as he pushed the boy away from Enid and her blazing cheeks and throwing his cloak after him. Tyr was laughing too then, big, loud laughs as he fell to the floor and wiped the tears from his eyes. And Enid could not help it, soon she was laughing too, soon she was smiling as she felt Ivar pulling her into his lap and kissing her shoulder.

"I want a brother." Tyr said suddenly, "No more girls."

"Idiot." Freya said, tossing her cup at him. "As if that's up to you to decide."

"I'm just putting it out there." Tyr smiled. "Who knows, maybe the gods are listening."

"You'll have to wait, Tyr." Ivar said, "These things take time… and don't be disappointed. There was a long time between you and Frigga. We'll have to see what the gods have decided."

"What if you don't have any children? Would you be sad, Enid?" Freya asked.

Enid stared at the girl then, knowing the answer in her heart, but not knowing how to say it.

"Yes," she said, her voice soft and low. "But I have you three and I love you like you were my own. I'll always be happy with that."

The smile that had been on Freya's face then, the way she had beamed and closed her eyes stayed with Enid a long time. The memory of it would warm Enid's heart, it would make her smile a soft, light smile and shake her head whenever it came to her. And it was on her lips when she heard a knock on the door. She looked around the room for a moment, her eyes falling on Frigga sleeping in her cradle by the fire, her hand reaching for that knife on the table. So slowly she opened the door just a crack, just enough to see that ripple of dark curls and Princess Gro turning to look back from the village.

"Can I come in?" she smiled.

Enid nodded then, quickly opening the door and dropping that knife back on the table.

"Sorry." she whispered, "Just got nervous."

"Don't be, I understand." Gro said, leaving her cloak on a chair and looking around the room. "Are you alone?"

"Just me and Frigga." Enid smiled.

"I'm glad." Gro sighed, taking a seat by the fire.

Enid poured her a drink, coming to sit by her and smiling again.

"It's a good house." Gro nodded. "I hope it will be a good home for you while you're here."

"I think it will be but Ivar doesn't like it very much."

"That man won't be happy until he's covered in dirt and surrounded by animals again." Gro tutted, taking a sip from her cup and staring off into the flames. "But still, you seem happy enough."

"I am."

"Good." Gro sighed. "I was worried about you being so far out here. It's a long way from the longhouse but maybe that's a good thing… Erik doesn't call for you anymore?"

"No."

"I'm sorry if that makes you sad, Enid." Gro took her hand, squeezing it as her eyes shone bright. "I really am but I'm also glad. He's safer now."

Enid nodded, suddenly unable to look at the Princess.

"It does make me sad." she said, "He was a good friend to me but… well, him and Ivar don't really get along anymore and I can't go against Ivar."

"No, of course not." Gro said, her lips suddenly twitching and her hand squeezing tighter. "I already spoke to him about what he did to Erik's face." she tutted. "And Bodil will be here soon… the first time she sees him now he'll be covered in bruises. I wish you could've stopped them, Enid."

Enid turned to her, her forehead furrowing into a slight crease, an uneasy, guilty feeling sinking in her stomach.

"Sorry, I should've thought about that."

"Oh, don't be." Gro sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything. Of course, you couldn't do anything. I know what Ivar's temper is like and you're not free, Enid. Forget I even said it."

Enid watched her pull away, watched her wrap her arms around herself and stare into the flames. For a long while neither of them spoke, for a long while Enid could not look at her without feeling like she had somehow disappointed her. That was when she saw Gro flick her fingers across her cheek, brushing away her tears and suddenly sitting up straight.

"Can I ask you a favour?" she said, "It's not an easy one so I won't hate you for saying no but… it's silly really." she laughed. "I don't know why I suddenly have so much pride but… my son is getting married, Enid. And I, I want to be able to enjoy it. I don't want to worry about Knut or if he'll hurt me somewhere where people can see it and… I'm sure that Bodil is beautiful. Her mother was and I don't want her first impression of me to be someone bruised and broken." her shoulders dropped, her hands clutching at each other in her lap as she bowed her head. "I'm sorry to ask you, Enid, I really am but can you give him this?" she pulled out a small pouch from her skirt, opening it so Enid could see the powder inside. "It's just dried mushrooms but we call them the food of the gods. They make you sleep and dream and he'll leave me alone all night if he drinks this. I know it's a lot to ask but if you give it to him at the Jul feast, then that will be enough for me. I just need one night to breathe." she nodded. "Just one last night before my son gets married and leaves me all alone with Knut!"

She sobbed then, her hands coming up to cover her face, her shoulders dropping even more as she fell into Enid's arms. Enid held her close, feeling her body shake and tremble and Enid did not know what to do. Something in Enid told her not to do it. Some part of her wanted nothing more than to wipe away this woman's pain and make her happy.

"I don't think I can, Gro." she whispered.

"It's alright." Gro said, shaking her head as she pulled away. "Don't worry, I understand. I'd be scared too."

"I'm not scared." Enid said, "I just think you should tell Erik."

"I won't put my son in danger! I, I don't need to fix this now." she said, her voice softer and quieter "I'll deal with Knut when I know that Erik is safe. I just need a night to recover, just one night when he doesn't…"

Her face scrunched up in a wince then, her head flicking away to stare at the flames. Enid remembered that pain, she remembered the feel of Rolf's fingers and the bite of his fist. So slowly her hand reached out, taking that pouch from Gro and closing her fist around it.

"I'll try." she whispered.