Chapter Eighty-eight

Enid could taste something on the tip of her tongue as she stood outside the door, something bitter, something that somehow burned scorching hot and had her shivering all at the same time, and it took her so long to bite it back, to raise her hand and to finally knock. He froze when he saw her, his eyes going wide for a moment before they narrowed, his shoulders dropping as he sighed and held the door open for her to come in. So quickly she stepped in, her face scrunching up in a scowl, her fingers resting on the head of her axe as she glared at him.

Enid didn't want to be angry, she didn't want to stand there and scream and punch and slice at him, but somehow she wanted to do nothing else, somehow her hands were shaking and her sight was blurring as she stared and stared at him. Erik sighed again, nodding his head before he reached for her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and holding the back of her head. Enid wanted to tell him to let go, but suddenly she had no voice and all she could do was stand there, tears rolling down her cheeks as she cried and cried.

"Is she going to die like Helga?" she whispered.

"I don't know," Erik sighed. "A real Seer might be able to tell you, but… do you really want to know, Enid?"

"Yes," she gasped, pulling away and staring at him. "Then we could stop it from happening."

"You can't stop anything," Erik shook his head. "We all have our fates, there's no escaping them. The only thing you can do is enjoy the time you have with her. Who knows, maybe you'll go before her, maybe the gods will take it away and you're worrying for nothing."

Enid stared at him a moment longer, still shaking, still trembling when he sighed again and guided her towards the firepit. "Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered.

"It's not my secret," Erik shook his head. "And she doesn't understand what it all means yet. She's getting there, but… if she sees how you all react to it, she's only going to be more frightened. You have to be strong for her, all of you. And you have to help her figure out what's a vision and what's real and you have to give her a reason to want to come back. The visions from the gods can be… tempting, Enid. Sometimes they're the most beautiful thing you've ever seen and nothing in this world can compare. You have to keep her tethered."

"How do I do that? I can't compete with-,"

"Of course, you can, you're her family, you're all her family. She just needs to feel like you care about her and that will help more than anything else."

"Is that how you help her?"

"No," Erik shook his head. "She can't explain what she sees yet, but… she can show me a little, not a lot but enough to share the pain."

"The pain…?" Enid whispered, her heart tearing and ripping, her eyes swelling and brimming with tears.

"Stop it," Erik whispered, his hand coming up to rest a palm on her forehead. "Stop it, Enid. You have to control it." She watched him wince and his face grow pale as she felt that palm shake against her skin, and then he leaned forward, gasping almost like he was struggling to breathe, his voice catching in his throat almost like he was choking on it. "You have to control it. You're dangerous when you're like this," he whipped that palm from her, his eyes shining wet before they turned pink and hazy. "Your heart is deep and wide, just like the sea," he tapped at her chest. "You have space enough for everyone, but you'll drown us all with you if you lose control. You have to learn to channel your pain, Enid. You have to learn to keep calm and still when you carry the people you love. And let it out when your enemies are close," he added, but then he coughed, doubling over and spitting on the floor, his face bright red and strained.

"Erik!" Enid gasped, reaching for him and helping him sit up straight, but it took him a moment longer to open his eyes, to wipe at his mouth with his sleeve and to stop swaying.

"I'm alright." he smiled. "Just held on too long. I told you you call to me… Sometimes I want to drown, Enid, and you would be the nicest way to do that."

"Oh, God, will I hurt Frigga like that?" Enid paused, her voice soft and strained when she could finally find it again to ask, "Will she want to die, Erik?"

He looked away, resting on his elbows and wringing his fingers in the palms of his hands. "Probably," he whispered. "But things are also different for her. She has you and her family and… I'll always help her, Enid. I won't be able to do much, but I'll do whatever I can and… that's more than what I had. Her sight is already much more powerful than mine so I can't always understand her, but… that has to make a difference," he nodded. "And she has Helga," he whispered. "She'll help. She has been already… That's more than any other Seer I've met has ever had."

"So she's a Seer?"

"I don't know," Erik shook his head. "Maybe, maybe not. She might just be like Helga," he shrugged. "But you have to watch how you feel around her, Enid. She'll feel this," he tapped her chest. "And you'll drown her if you're not careful. Keep your pain buried, keep it under control and then take a walk, go training or whatever and let it out then," he said, and Enid nodded, leaning forward and burying her face in her palms, not knowing if she could do this, not seeing how she had a choice. "Why are you wearing my mother's necklace?" Erik asked, and Enid looked up at him, grabbing that necklace in her hand and almost crying again.

"I'm free," she whispered, but suddenly those words sounded so weak, suddenly they were so hollow and meaningless, but Erik smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and holding her to his side.

"I'm glad," he said, squeezing her tighter. "So you're spending your first night of freedom with me on my last?" he laughed.

"It's not my first," Enid pulled away. "Ivar freed me last night after I…" she cut herself off then, not sure what to say, not sure if that burning in the pit of her stomach was from that shattered pitcher or the delicious sinking of her knife into that man's leg.

"You fought well," Erik laughed, nudging a knee into hers and smiling. "I figured it was you when Oleg wouldn't say what happened to him."

"Ivar helped," Enid shrugged, feeling that heat rise to her cheeks as she looked away from him, and then Erik stretched, a big, wide stretch as he sighed and laughed softly to himself.

"Look after him, Enid," he said. "He's the only one I've met who feels as deeply as you."