Chapter 16

Amati Tanaka

..............

The next month was painful. Lonely. Tiring.

Her left arm was healed thanks to Shoko, but that was the only thing that healed after that event.

Her heart. Still broken.

Her soul?

Her emotions?

Her mind?

Broken. Broken. Lost.

She's tired. Drained. The days move on with an empty silence. The nights stretch like eternity.

Even as hours tick by, even as days come and go, he's still on her mind. Not even time can erase him.

She can never forget him. Never forget his face, his voice, his smell. All of him. She misses him. She misses his last touches, the last nights they spent together. His words and kisses.

She clutches her pillow and buries her face in it, tears soaking the soft thing.

"Why..." She whispers. "Why?" She sobs.

Everything, his clothes, his small gifts, the seashell... its all there. Taunting her. Reminding her.

"Why did you leave..."

He opened deep wounds. And they won't heal. They will scar, destroying parts of her forever.

Amati will never be the same again.

As the night stretches on, she decides to take a walk. She puts on a sweater and slippers, heading out in the cold cloudy night.

But when she's outside, standing on the same ground they used to train together, tease each other, laugh together...

She clenches her jaw and closes her eyes. "Shit..." she weeps, her shoulders hunched. Wherever she goes, whatever she does, she can still see the memories of him everywhere.

"Damn you..." She says through her teeth. "Damn you!" She sobs. She glares up at the clouds and stands, turning around and heading for the stairs.

At least they face the exit of Jujutsu High.

She hugs her knees, her eyes tired from losing so many tears.

But even if all this time she's been thinking about him, It's not just Geto that's changed her life.

Also her friends.

She hardly saw Shoko. Only the first few days when she healed her arm. After that, not even a glimpse. And from what she heard, from now on, Shoko's life will get busier, which means she might never see her friend except once or twice a month.

And Satoru...

He's the one sent on all missions. The one needed by everyone. She hardly sees him except sometimes in the morning when he's running off to a mission. Sometimes he notices her, sometimes not.

It must be so tiring for him, but at least he is doing something.

All Amati does is nothing.

She hasn't been sent on a single mission after Geto left. It's all Satoru.

People hardly speak to her. Ijichi now has duties and is hardly ever seen. Nanami is a busy second year. She misses Haibara too, but he's gone. The people in Kyoto school aren't exactly her friends so she hardly speaks to them.

It's just... her.

She thought maybe a few days and it'll all go back to normal... but no.

As she sits on the roof a few days later, nothing has changed.

She's still alone, not needed. She feels so useless just sitting here not doing anything.

And then, an idea pops into her mind. A hated idea. A bad one. A horrible one.

What if she leaves?

What if she leaves, builds a life somewhere else? Where she wouldn't be reminded of him or her uselessness? Where she would do things on her own accord without waiting for orders and missions from others?

Her eyes widen as she thinks about it.

Yes... she could go, travel somewhere far, build a new life.

Build a new life.

One without pain.

One without love.

One without betrayal and death and broken hearts.

She raises her face to the sky.

The more the idea runs around in her brain... the more real it becomes.

The more better it gets.

The more sense it makes.

And she has decided.

Two days later.

She has decided to run away. Run away from her past. From her memories.

And into a new world.

..............

"Sensei." She knocks on the door to his office.

"Come in."

She looks around to make sure no one sees her, before she pulls her two suitcases inside his office, closing the door behind her.

He looks up, and his eyes rest on the suitcases. "Huh?" He says.

She hugs her arms and looks at her feet.

"Is this what I think it is?" He asks.

Her eyes slowly move upwards. She inhales deeply. "Y-Yes..." she touches one of the suitcases and looks at Sensei. "I... I've been thinking about this for a while. I can't stand it here anymore. I haven't been sent on missions, I haven't been talked to..." she looks at her hand on her suitcase. "And so... I decided to leave. I'll travel somewhere far. Build my own life. I'm quitting as a Jujutsu sorcerer here in Tokyo."

"What?" Sensei asks, surprised.

She nods and looks back at him. "I decided that America will be my best choice for now. I won't be reminded of anything that happened. There is a different world from here."

"Don't be so sure about that Amati." He frowns. "As long as your brain still holds the memories of the past, the past will always follow you."

She looks down. "I know..."

"I don't want you to go." He says.

She closes her eyes, forcing the tears inside.

"You're one of my best students. It's a great loss for me and all of Jujutsu High."

"I never wanted to leave, Sensei." Her voice cracks. "But... I can't just stay here. I'll be ruined."

He stands up and walks towards her, putting a hand in her shoulder. "Is this what you really want?"

She nods.

"I'll have someone take you to the airport, then."

"Don't tell Satoru or Shoko until I leave for good and am on the plane." She whispers and looks at her Sensei.

He nods. "Of course."

..............

The airport was too crowded, but she managed to get on the plane without getting lost.

When she finally arrived at America, she didn't find much of a difference. The buildings and city lights are everywhere in all cities. She bought an apartment before arriving, and it's not a really fancy one, but it's comfortable and good enough.

She settled in, making sure everything she needed was there.

But...

Sensei was right.

"As long as your brain still holds the memories of the past, the past will always follow you"

The memories. The thoughts...

Even that seashell she couldn't get rid of...

She thought coming here would help.

But, it only made it worse.

And not just that.

A week later, she figured out something she hadn't thought of upon arriving. It was shocking. Unexpected. Terrible.

It was something that destroyed her.

Something that turned her into a complete different person.

And her life became hell itself.

..............

✨ A/N:

And.

Here I shall shield myself from angry readers.

🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡🛡

Gojo's past arc is now completed :') and the pain... is still there I guess?

Damn...

I wanna scream.

Idk what to say, but...

Yeah idk😭

I want to thank everyone who is reading my book😭💙💙💙💙it means so much to me😭💙💙 love you all😭💙💙