Chapter 2: The Soul
The sound of rough surfaces echoing through the road, the hard shoes and the voice of the warm breath are the only thing that the street can hear. Mist that comes from Joshua's mouth engulf his eyes, making almost everything blur by it, the cold weather biting him all through the hard bone inside his body. He is shivering all the way from his skin to his bone, shaking his body from now and then, the cold it’s hurt, however, in the end of the day the cold weather it’s not the reason him in such a pain, the fact that every breath he take feels like he is inhale a poison straight to his lung.
For people like him, breathing is like a poison. It’s like a poison needle coming through from your nose straight to your heart, it feels like a thousand needles stabbing at the same time in the same spot. With every breath taken, then every painful feeling you could feel.
Liar, which is a word that circulated inside Joshua's mind right now, why people lying he thought to himself. People lying because they do not want to admit their mistake, or to hide their flaw? But at the end of the day, how far lying can bring you to the end of the road? Aren’t people tired? To keep stack lies upon lies without realizing it. How about the victim? Do liars ever think about how they feel? All events will bring deep scars, the wound that will last for long times, because by lying you lose the trust, and to bring that trust, you’ll need eternity to even be able to repair the damage that has been done.
As much as Joshua can’t forgive and understand liars, he can’t do the same to himself too.
People can call him many names, throw all that bad and dirty word upon him, he won’t budge. No matter how worse all those names on earth, he will bear them all as long as it’s the truth. Joshua keeps thinking, is giving this cold shoulder show need to keep going? When he can stop everything? Perhaps this is the best course of action to take for now, to treat her unfairly like this. I don’t know, I don’t know, that all words that keep coming afterward, he can’t keep himself from being like this, this is beyond clueless, confused is just understatement. Where should he go? What should he do?
Is this love? His act can be described as love, despite it’s full of pain.
The sound of the machine brought him back to the world from his thoughts. He settled himself and hurried himself to go inside the bus. Being late to go to his class it’s the last thing he wants to do at this moment. There is enough trouble in his plate, he won’t like it if he had to add some more unnecessary things to settle down, this is enough he said to himself, do not lose your way, do not astray from the road, or you will lose your last hope to your Ending.
He sat on one of the chairs and put his earphone on, hoping he could drown his thoughts some more, more deep that he forgot all the hardship and all the pain. Only for a short moment he thought, he wanted a little peace.
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As soon as I make my way through the exit, the university building is 5 minutes walking distant from this bus stop, I can see the big building not far from here. As I slowly walk along the pathway, I come across the university's big banner name “Rodger Green University”. This building has been here for long times, far back from those colonial times, where war still strives during that time. There is some documentation regarding this massive building, the history said the great noble built this building for atoning his action during the war period, feeling bad for his decision and the power he had only to bring much despair than it’s merit. They said, he is very knowledgeable and often time titled as a sage for his vast information, I guess even someone like him can make bad choices during his lifetime. But is this university alone enough to make up all those despair and suffering that has been inflicted to all those innocent in the past? Or does he just do this to hide his other self just like he is lying?
This building keeps getting added on and renovated upon one another, the original building not even bigger than normal house that time, however, maybe during those period it’s already plenty. But for nowadays standards, this university ends up becoming one of the most eligible education places that produce many great alumni. The facility that this place has can’t lie, if there is bad apple among them probably it’s their own fault.
I keep on moving, trailing the path, crossing the garden while the leaf falls down constantly like snow around me. The winter seems close by day now, the gardener busying themselves from dawn to clean up this path, I can see them working and swab away the dead leaf that is laying around. If this is spring this path way to the main building could look better and much prettier, there will be a lot of flowers around, and the weather will become much warmer than now. I can feel the breeze touch my face together with all those falling leaves, as if they are greeting me in this early morning. These brown and red colors bring contrast to the big white building in front of me.
As I make my way to the stair, one step above at the time, I can hear a voice from a soft engine from some distance away. The strong and slick looking car passed the road and made a stop near the parking lot. A black and strong build metal can be seen from here, that Audi R8 looks clean and superior among other cars. And then the owner of that car stepped out from the car gently while grabbing his bag, proceeding to throw that expensive looking bag on his bag.
As he proceeds to keep on walking to the main building just like any other student, people around him can’t help but stop whatever they are doing and staring at the tall figures that make a sudden appearance. Guy and girl alike looking in awe to that man, they can’t hide their astonishment to that man. The murmuring sound can be heard even in this distance, girls squealing among themselves and guys whispering to one another, trying their best to keep it quiet, but who are they kidding, if I could hear it, let alone the subject himself.
I can’t help but stop in my tracks, though this event happens almost every day, just like any other weekday. I keep on thinking, how a person like that man, in his caliber, handles so much attention? Or perhaps people that sit up there always have this kind of thing on a daily basis? Is having people stroke your ego actually a pleasant thing?
Of course people fall for him, he has everything humans ever wanted, the look, power, respective family background, money, status, brain, everything imaginable. At this point probably the world is already in your hands if you already stand at the same level as him. But I bet people that fall for envy and hating him probably as much as the admirer, or it could be even worse. But man like he is, that is perfect in every way, there is no way he can’t handle that much pressure. I definitely can’t handle nor withstand if I were him.
A couple of girls and boys started approaching him, pampering him with questions and words that stroke man ego, he got circled just like honey for bees. I keep on walking leaving the scene aside, but the voice and the murmuring can still be heard.
Albern…
Albern Kim…
That name already becomes a common word around the university, from the lecturer, the worker, the student, nobody does not know the meaning of that name, including me. That name belongs to him, the man that always invites people to stare, to speak their name, and to always facing them with awe.
It is hard to know nothing about that man, if whole people speak about it then you like it or not will get some information bore into your brain, just like his name. I never have any interest with something as trivial as this but as much as I tried to avoid useless stuff, I still end up with some information stuck with me.
I learned that he has a younger sister studying in the same university. Older brother that already graduated and helping their family business. He is the middle child among those three siblings, I wonder how it feels to have a relative like that. People like Albern seem destined to own everything, his future already written and laid down, it’s up to him to walk on it. Though it’s none of my business, he is basically doing all this whole studying thing for formality, because he can just jump like his brother and continue their international family business.
Despite everything, I actually admired him. I heard he keeps it a good track with good achievement and good grades along the year, I do not need to feel bad nor angry for someone that knows how to use their resources to the fullest. At least he is not like those entitled kids, regardless what he did behind the closed door, is none my concern, just stay away from my path.
Our lives look like heaven and earth, so distinct, so different. Our road is almost like divided by a great wall, and likely will never cross each other's path. The world being fair after all, in order to keep the balance, for every up there is need down, and for every diamond there is need to be a stone, or else everything will have the same value. World do not work in a way humans want, but it works in a way that makes the value of living fair. There is no point to have all humans on the same pedestal, if that happened then the car Albern ride won’t have any value at all. Just like me and him, our existence has a certain value, along with a distinct purpose in life.
However, even till the end of time, Albern was not someone that I would like to know and close to. I have the impression if we are close and associated with someone like him only trouble will come along the way. For this matter I’ll rely on my instinct, and it never fails me so far.
I still continue walking through the alley way of campus and proceed to walk down to the hall. And suddenly I feel an impact to my body that makes me stumble to the opposite side, along with a squealing sound coming from the body that falls down flat in front of me. I look carefully at the culprit, set my surprise aside, I proceed to help this girl stand up. This girl is also the same as Albern, though I never learned her name, she is the famous model and TV actress people have been talking about, since the description matches, there is a high chance this is her. That fashion line clothing and an adult woman follow her from behind I assume must be her manager.
“Ouch… sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t see where I was going!”
The girl scrambled and begged for forgiveness, her face looking all concerned. The impact was nothing to begin with, but I felt bad if she thought I had lost anything or felt hurt at all. If anything, I feel sorry for her, that fall must be even hurt than anything right now.
The girl start to rubbing her back, I guess from her frantic reaction just a moment ago, no wonder if she can’t she where she was going. And with an instant force, she push me with great force to the empty classroom, closed the door, and gesture me to keep silent with her finger line up on her lips. And suddenly I can hear frantic voice from a woman “where is she?! Come on we don’t have lot of time!!!! Why she like to doing this to me!” and the moment after, the sound of footsteps and the voice went.
“What does she mean by that! I pay her well enough! I told her I do not want any activity! But she proceeded to build up a crazy schedule!”
I just stood there silently watching her curse on that woman. After a moment passed and her anger seemed calmed down, she startled when she realized she was not alone. The apologetic face that a few moments ago showed, it shows again right now.
“Oh! I’m so sorry! I am not aware of you! And I’m so sorry to drag you in like this!”
She rubs her back of her head, the gesture showing that she is really-really sorry with what happened. I just stare at her, do not know what to say nor how to act. I can only keep looking at this girl due to my shock with what just happened. She looks scared, her expensive white dress has some dirt on it due to the fall down earlier, and her black hair should be neat, but now because she is panicking now it becomes a mess. Her tall body starts pacing impatiently, as if she is waiting for my reaction toward her and toward what just happened.
“It's fine, no harm was done, I was more concerned with you, are you really-really okay?”
She immediately smiled, and put her hands on her chest, sighing while doing so. I can see her face starting to have its color again, probably the relief feeling helps her from pacing too.
“Yeah! I’m good, that was my manager! She means no harm but…”
Her words are trailing probably because she wants to explain more regarding her manager.
“I’m talking about you, I know who she is, and how was the fall?”
And just like that, her expression changed from shy to comical, I guess she didn’t expect that from me.
“Hahaha! Yeah…! Yeah, that was more like embarrassing than the pain itself”
She wiped tears from her eyes, I guess my reply was funny for her. She started to wipe the dust on her clothes and glance at me sometimes while doing so.
“So… am I forgiven?”
“It wasn't a big deal to begin with, but yeah, I think you should be more careful. I mean if any other person in my position, I’m afraid that they’ll going be mad at you”
She chuckled while looking at me, and at the same time she tried to hide her embarrassment for some reason.
“Then, it is actually good thing to actually bump into you, or else I’ll definitely in trouble”
She smiles and shows her red small soft lips.
“Oh my, how rude I’m, my name is Kristin Lee, and nice too meet you and sorry again about the little accident happened just a while ago… and also dragging you into this”
I just smile at her, I never gave any kind of my private information to anyone before.
“I felt I had never seen you around before, where do you belong to? I mean your major, or perhaps, are you a new student?”
Of course you have never seen me before, one I’m not like you and Albern, second this is a big university, you can’t know every single soul that study here, third this main building is not even where I should study my major.
“I’m already in my third semester, and I’m belong to Information Technology faculty”
I tried to answer her as politely as I could, keep my composure steady and normal.
“Really?! But you look so young, I thought you got to be a new student! Oh my, I’m so sorry to act this rude, shouldn’t address you like that!”
At this point I don’t know whether she is trying to taunt me, ignite the fire in me, or plainly just mock me. But her face looks genuine, I need to keep my skeptical sense in check. And it’s better to not have problems with people like them, they have too much power to ruin my normal days. People keep mentioning my face every single time, letting them play in the water of their imagination, let them call me whatever. I look young? Whatever that supposed to mean.
“It’s okay, I got that a lot”
“Well, I’m glad. But I’m terribly sorry, my impulse trait sometimes get better of me, so I can say or act recklessly, I hope you understand that”
Kristin suddenly lets her head hang low and surrounds herself in disappointed aura, the feeling that she throws it to herself.
“It’s fine, really. After all it's not entirely bad thing, at least you can compare me with vampire that not ageing in 1000 years”
Kristin laughed it off, taking the humor lightly.
“Well it’s not a really bad encounter, don’t you agree…?”
Her eyes staring straight into my eyes.
“Joshua, my name is Joshua Park”
The girl in front of me took both of my hands and covered with her tiny hands.
“Well then Joshua, hope we can meet again and get along!”
She cheerfully smiled while shaking both of my hands.
We both get out of the classroom, and while I keep walking to my original direction to my class, I can still feel her eyes bore right into me from behind. It feels like she drilled a hole on my back. For some reason she kept walking behind me and following.
“Kristin!”
There is a yell from behind of her; both me and her looking to the source. The same woman frantically looked for her a moment ago dashing straight to our direction.
“Oh well, I guess that my cue! See you later Joshua!”
She ran fast in the opposite direction, trying to run away. I can hear both her voice and her manager bickering to one another, they have no shame despite people looking at them. In this world to have trouble with big people is going to be problematic, but to have some allies will be much easier to go through life. I can’t trust her, but if she can leave me alone and that will be our last meeting, then I’ll be more than content.
>>>>>>>>>
The boy walked away from the scene, and passed through the back door, walking down to another path, and he was greeted by another building, this building is his faculty. This place is where he is studying for the next another year, and after that he has to put the plan into motion.