Chapter 44

Emerald's POV-

August made us walk all the way out to the field until we couldn't even see my house anymore. He went over by one of the few skinny trees that were out here and he sat down and pulled me down to the grass with him.

He was sitting with his back up against the tree and me sitting next to him with my legs crossed. He was still holding my hand, but I decided to just let him have it since today has been a tough day.

"Emerald."

"Yes August?" I said while rolling my eyes but kept a playful smile on my face.

"Did you learn about mates in school?" He asked and scrunched my face up at his question.

"Uh yeah? Why?"

He started to rub his thumb over my knuckles and I started to feel like something weird was going on.

"What did you learn?"

I didn't say anything for a minute and put my mask on so I could think. Why are we talking about this? Maybe it was because of what I said the other night in Jody's car. I could tell my not believing in the mate bond and the moon goddess upset him, but I can't help I'm not a believer.

"Are you trying to convert me or something because I'm not really in the mood to get lectured." I said to him keeping my face neutral.

"Just tell me what you know please." He said trying to keep the same calm tone, but I could see the blue in his eye darken.

Usually August handles my sarcasm fine, so maybe this is a serious talk. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes tight and tried to think and remember what all was taught to me.

"Something about the moon goddess making a perfect partner for every werewolf to have as a mate and Uhh." I twisted my mouth to the side as I tried to scan through my memories. I didn't pay attention to much of this stuff when we were learning about it.

"A wolf can find its mate by smelling their scent and they'll mark there mate and that forces them into brainwashed mindless lovers who would never actually be together in the first place if they weren't forced to be."

August chuckled this time, but he let me go on.

"Except for Alphas who have to wait once a year. The end." I said to him and opened my eyes with a smile.

He smiled at me and I was glad he wasn't in his serious mood anymore.

"Well I guess the schools here aren't very thorough."

"Who knows, if it wasn't about training or humans I didn't listen very much." I told him and his smile went away.

"What do you know about humans?"

"More then I do about mates. I like the way humans choose their mates better."

"Humans don't have mates." August informed me sternly.

"I know that, but they still have partners the same as werewolves except they actually get to choose who they want to be with and instead of marking them they wear matching rings. I think it's sweet." I said to him trying to lighten his mood back up.

Before he could reply I interrupted him again.

"Not to mention that if they ever decide they don't want to be together they just take their rings off. Sounds way better then dying from rejection doesn't it?"

He gripped my hand tight and leaned off the tree until his nose was only a few inches from mine.

"Mates are soulmates Emerald. Their souls are linked for eternity, they are made for one another which is why the mate bond is so strong. When a mate is rejected both of their souls are ripped apart. Humans will never understand the amount of loyalty and commitment having a mate is because they can walk away whenever they want with no consequences."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.

"That loyalty and commitment is not real though August it's forced."

He pulled away from me, but still didn't let go of my hand.

"Your mate is who you were created to be with. It's only forced if you fight it." He said to me coldly.

"What is with you today? You're all over me this morning and then you basically stalk my every move in there and now you keep jumping from happy to mad in less then a second. Are you on your little man period?" I asked him popping my bottom lip out.

He let out a throaty growl at me and I snatched my hand back from his. He tried to grab it back, but I put both hands behind my back.

"You're acting like a child."

"Really Why? because I won't let you hold my hand? Sounds like you're the childish one to me." I shot back at him.

He softened his face and ran his hands through his grey hair.

"Emerald this is hard for me okay?"

"What's hard for you? What is it August? Why won't you just tell me?" I asked almost sounding like I was begging.

"What do you know about Lunas?" He asked and I groaned loudly.

"Again with this? Just tell me August, do you not trust me?" I asked him and his eyes went big and he scooted away from the tree and closer to me.

"Of course I trust you Emerald." He said to me and cupped my cheek with his large rough hand.

"Then tell me what's bothering you." I said to him as I stared back into his one white eye and one blue.

"Emerald I think you're my Luna."

It's like a high pitched ringing went to my ears. I could see that August's mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear anything he was saying.

"Wait, I'm sorry could you say that again?" I asked him and when his mouth opened again to speak his words hit my eardrums clearly.

I don't think I gave it enough time to process because my first reaction was just me busting out belly laughing. I pulled back from August's hand and put my own hand over my mouth as I threw my head back cackling.

"What's so funny?" He asked me and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Why would you think that?" I asked him still giggling.

He grabbed both my hands with his and it forced me to straighten up and control my giggles.

"Emerald I'm serious I really do think you're my mate."

I stayed looking back in his eyes to see if I could find anything at all that might give away that this is still a joke.

"Oh." I said back to him and I could tell that this is not the reaction he was wanting.

"Uh. Why do you think that? No offense, but you don't exactly smell irresistible to me." I said back trying to be understanding about his feelings.

I started to replay all of this morning in my head and now things were starting to make sense. I don't know why he would think that I'm his mate I don't feel any pull to him like they say you're supposed to feel. I needed to not be a smart-aleck about this.

Just because I don't believe in the goddess or the sacred mate bond doesn't mean August doesn't. I know full well that he takes it seriously and I know how badly he's been wanting to find his mate and I'm flattered and all that jazz, but I just think he's made a mistake.

"I know, but that's only because I haven't marked you yet." He said to me with soft eyes as if marking me was equivalent to giving me a bouquet of flowers.

"Woah back up a minute."

I stood up from the grass and took a step back from August.

"Look August don't get me wrong I would be more then happy to be with a man like you, but I think you're mistaken." I said to him and he stayed sitting, but leaned back on his hands and looked up at me.

"No, I'm not wrong." He said to me still sounding calm.

"The blue moon isn't even here yet August. How can you be so sure that I'm your mate?" I said crossing my arms over my chest.

He didn't say anything at first and I narrowed my eyes at him to watch his face intently. If he throws a bald face lie at me I'll scratch that other eye  out.

"Trust me Emerald. Im sure about it." He said to me sounding too relaxed.

"You're lying."

"I'm not." He shot back.

I looked away from him and started pacing while arguing with Alana so I could think.

'What do you think?' I asked her.

'I think I'm the luckiest she wolf on this planet right now.' She said back to me as if she were swooning.

'Stop it! I'm serious, do you think he's lying?' I asked her back and made sure not to look up at August.

'Why would he lie about it ?' She asked me sounding more like her bitchy self.

"I don't know, but I don't believe him. He's either lying or he's not telling the whole truth.' I said to her.

'Who cares? We've always been powerful so it makes sense for us to be a Luna.' She said to me and then suddenly something just clicked in my mind.

Like I had found the missing clue I needed.

I turned around and looked at August who had been watching me from the ground.

"So you knew I was a Luna from the very first night when I told you I couldn't smell you?" I asked him making sure to keep my expression void.

He went to speak, but he hesitated and that's when I knew my suspicions were right. Before he could even answer I just continued to throw questions at him.

"So you just automatically assumed I was going to be your Luna? Why? Because you found me when I was a kid? Because we know each other you just decided that I have to be your Luna? There's not the slightest chance that I could be another Alpha's mate?" I asked and the more I talked the angrier I started to feel.

He didn't say anything and just stayed in his spot in the grass looking at me.

"Well?" I asked raising my voice.

"I can feel it Emerald." He said to me and just shook my head at him and laughed.

"Bullshit. BULL FUCKING SHIT!"

August never blinked even though I was screaming at him.

"You don't feel anything August you're just fucking desperate over this stupid mate crap!"

He jumped up to his feet and made several long strides to me.

"Yes I'm fucking desperate okay?! I have been waiting for you for so long and it's killing me to hold back." He said and tried to reach for me, but I put more space between us and started backing up until there was a thin tree between us.

"You find out I can't smell and just jump straight into thinking that means I'm yours? And then to make it worse you fucking kept it to yourself and then decided to tell me on the same day she dies? Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I asked him and even though the blue was almost gone in his eye I didn't care.

I was too angry to be intimidated.

"I'm sorry Emerald. I didn't mean for it to go this way. I swear I had no idea until Helen said something to me and at first I didn't believe her, but I know now that she was right Emerald. You are my Luna." He said and the blue started to come back more until the black was back to its normal proportion.

"Oh so now it's because Helen says I'm your mate. And that makes it so? She's never said anything to me about it, so if she thought you were my mate why wouldn't she tell me too?" I asked not believing his change of story.

August ran his hands through his hair and tried to walk past the tree, but I circled around and made sure I was far enough away that he couldn't grab me.

"Please stop it. I don't want to fight with you."

"No, you just want to mark me because you have this weird obsession to have a mate. I'm not your Luna August. I'm sorry but I'm not, so please just stop." I said to him and the black quickly swallowed the blue again.

"YOU ARE MINE!"

It was like he triggered a memory that I hadn't thought of in so long. My heart was pumping loudly and I could feel the sparks go to my fingertips.

He wasn't the first person to say this to me.

He wasn't the first man who for whatever reason felt ownership over me.

I know what it's like to be owned by someone. I know what it's like to not have real freedom. It's wearing a shock collar and being poked and prodded. It's being shoved into a dark cramped pen with no warmth and no light. It's waking up everyday to the smell of rotting flesh and just waiting. Waiting for him to walk by. Waiting for him to choose who's turn it was to be tested. Waiting for him to belt you or worse strap you down to that cold metal table with your eyes tapped open. I can remember it so clearly. I can smell the blood and that sick sulfur scent that always lingered in the air. I can feel the cold metal on my back. I can hear his twisted sick voice taunting me.

'You are mine you stupid mutt and when anyone sees your eyes they will know it.'

I was so lost in the memory that I didn't even realize I was no longer standing in front of August.

I wasn't standing at all.

I was floating and the only thing that I could make out were green flames as they swirled around and consumed me.