CHAPTER 169(Awake)

Please read the author's notes. (Examples and explanation of moves and appearance+ Monster Sources)

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CHAPTER START---

---11 PM, Babel...

CRACK!

The sound of thunder jolts Freya awake in her chair. It seemed the heavens were angry.

"Huh!" the book on her lap falls to the floor of Yang's hospital room. She rubs her eyes to wake herself up.

Sitting up in the chair she sees the bed empty. Sheets and pillow on the floor. She immediately leaped to her feet and moved around the room.

"Yang?!" she calls out, no response. Looking over at the door it was still closed, the only thing she found was a handprint on the floor. Not a smear as most people would make, but the imprint of a hand pushing through the stone floor. A left hand no less.

Realization dawns on her, 'he must have woken up and noticed his new hand. He must be so angry,' she thought.

Looking all around, peering past the walls of the room, Babel, and the buildings below, she searches desperately for that one shattered soul. Her beloved's soul, and she finds nothing. Looking up, she sees it, directly above Babel, likely on the roof, he was in one spot, unmoving.

"I found you," she says while rushing out of the room, pulling her hoodie over the simple top and shorts she wore. As she rushed through the hallway the sounds of thunder continued. Abnormal weather for this early in the year, not to mention extremely rare.

She couldn't remember the last time Orario had a thunderstorm. Rain pouring buckets at a time, pelting against the rooves of the buildings and making to flood the sewers, 'I need to stop him before this gets out of hand, his anger could flood the streets,' she thought.

Minutes later she's in her penthouse, with Ottar at her side she gives him a firm nod and walks up the stairs, arriving at the trap door to the roof, the only thing keeping the rain from flooding into the room.

"Don't come up, the last thing we need is him causing a scene," she says to Ottar before pushing open the door.

Immediately rain and wind almost knock her down the stairs. The door rattles as the hinges strain to keep it still.

Raising a hand to shield her face she peers through the harsh weather to see Yang sitting at the edge slumped over.

Taking a deep breath she steps onto the roof, ready to crouch down and hold onto the floor if the wind tried to take her away, but the wind stopped, and the rain held back.

Along the edges of Babel's roof, the wind and rain hit what looked like a wall. The city below was still bombarded, but she wouldn't be thrown off the roof, not by his magic. He hadn't even noticed it, he hadn't noticed her. But magic reacts to desire, so his magic would never hurt her.

With careful steps across the wet stone roof, she arrives beside him, his hunched over and unmoving form doesn't react. Legs over the edge, his shirt and pants drenched from the rain and stuck to his skin.

Removing her hoodie she drops it on the floor beside him, sitting to his right she dangles her legs over the edge as well, silently waiting for any kind of reaction from him.

At a glance she realized how wrong she was, there was no anger on his face, only sorrow. His eyes were red and dark, as if he didn't have any more tears to let all his feelings out.

Not knowing what to do, how to console an invincible man, she silents holds his hand. Her fingers give him a delicate squeeze so he knows she's there for him, but he doesn't return it, for the first time he doesn't return it. It hurts, but she doesn't let go, opting to stay and watch the storm rage on with him.

"Why were you there?" he finally speaks, breaking the silence.

"Hmm, where?" she quietly asks, trying to keep him talking.

"The hospital room."

She wasn't quite sure what he expected her to say. At the time it was the only place she could have been, "because, well, where else would I be? Did you not want me there?" she asks with much trepidation.

"I... I don't know. It just, it didn't seem fair."

"What didn't seem fair?"

Yang takes a deep breath as he pulls his hand away from her, she tries not to notice the sudden cold left on her fingers, "you were worried about me, while I was sleeping. I-I saw things," he says.

"What could you have seen that made this seem unfair?"

"I, I relived it all, every memory from before I got to Orario," a small sad smile forms on his face as he continues, "I got to see them again, but it was like I was just there to watch it all again. A painful reminder of why I'm fighting, fighting to leave Orario and everyone here behind...fighting to go home to them," he says.

Freya frowned at his words, this wasn't the first time he'd spoken of his goals. But now she couldn't help but ask more questions. "How did you get to Orario? You don't ever speak as if it were a choice."

"Because it wasn't, I was...abducted, I suppose. Memory wiped and dropped off on the road. Tibor and his son found me and brought me here, but my memories came back after the Orcus challenge," he says.

"And you never would have left?"

"My family was all I had, I never would have left them. Now...now they probably think I ran away, probably think I hate them or something like that," he says in a bitter tone.

"And you had to relive all the good and the bad while you were asleep, I can see why you're up here crying, I thought you were angry you know," she points toward the storm. "The sky looks angry, but now I know the truth. You just didn't want to cry alone," she says.

"I guess so. I just, always have to keep a tight grip on my magic, sometimes it feels good to let it all out, I didn't know what else to do..." he admits.

"So you came up here and sat in the rain, there are worse ways to cope, I've been trying to finish my wine room lately."

A long silence falls between them before Yang speaks.

"I actually can't feel it," he says.

Freya gives him a curious look, "feel what?"

"The rain, water. It's an element under my control, I can't feel it," his voice was shaky, uncertain.

"Elemental Resistance, your skill, but, you don't sound happy about it..."

"I was fine before level seven, but after we, you know---"

"After you broke up with me, I remember."

"Well, I took a shower, and I couldn't feel anything. All I've been able to feel ever since is pain. Allen and Finn tore the skin off my mouth and chest, and I...I was happy, I hadn't felt like a person in so long, it made me happy," he turns to look at her for the first time tonight.

Freya looked worried, a face of pity stared back at him. "how long has this been bothering you?"

"Since the morning I flew you back up here, and I couldn't feel the sunrise. I... I've been losing touch with everything. I'm scared Freya, I'm scared of what my Falna is making me into---"

"You're scared of being just another weapon," she whispers, realization dawning on her as she looks at his eyes watering again.

"This," he raises the prosthetic hand for her to get a proper look. Sleek black and gold from his fingertips to his forearm. "It's not that much different from the rest of me, only it can't even feel pain," he says.

"Only pain?" she grabs his hand once more, more forcefully this time, and lifts it between them. "What about me?"

"What about you?"

"This," she holds his hand and waves it between them. "Can you feel anything at all, is there anything left of this, did you lose this feeling too?" her voice moved from confidence into a hushed tone, almost begging and hoping that there was something left, "can you even feel me?"

With a deep sigh Yang closes his eyes, the storm becomes quiet, then in an instant, it disappears. "Freya," his tired voice calls out, "everything would be easier if I could get rid of this one feeling, if I couldn't feel you... but I don't know if that'll ever happen."

She immediately brings up her other hand to get a firm hold on him, not wanting to let him go. "What about when you go home, what then?" she asks.

"No Falna... I get to be human again, and I get to be with my family again, no more fighting and pain. No more painful memories, just...home." All true, his Falna wouldn't work in any other world just as gods aren't allowed to dwell in them, he'd be completely human again, he'd be able to feel again and see his family again.

"Back with your family in your little hidden village, but without me...I wish I could go to China too," she says.

Yang's eyes open wide at the word, it sent his mind reeling trying to figure out what the hell was going on, he never said he was from another world, where he was from never even really came up before, and he wasn't even from China.

"China?" he asked nervously.

"Oh," she gives him a warm smile. "You were probably supposed to keep it a secret, but it's on the tag of this," she points to the hoodie she was sitting on, the brought from his work and gave her. "I couldn't find it on the map so it must be well hidden, no gods allowed I'm guessing since we never shut up."

"U-uh, yeah, please keep this between us, Freya," he pleads.

"Of course. But at least now I know why I can't go back with you," she says.

"Mm, mhm, sorry," he says.

"Can you...can you tell me about them? It's fine if you don't want to speak about it," she says.

"I, I think you're the only person who deserves to really know, and I could use someone to talk to, it's better than remembering alone..."

For longer than either of them care to acknowledge, they sit at the edge of Babel, a hundred floors above the ground at the edge of the roof and discuss the past. Yang speaks about time with his family, vague and skipping any telling detail hinting at another world. And to both their surprise Freya was genuinely interested.

Amazed by the little family struggling to stay afloat but always making it work. Amazed by all the sacrifices they made for each other. Holding his hand here, she finally understood why he was so... different. He never had the option to simply get a Falna and make money. There was never a directly simple answer like that which everyone here had.

To her understanding gods have always been forbidden in his village. But they had all the books it took the make him who he was today. He learned about life from his parents, inherited their drive and determination. And now he's out of that little village to conqueror the dungeon.

She noticed one thing however, he never explained why his adventure to get home requires him to go deeper into the dungeon. He made sure to avoid this little topic, and she didn't press him.

In a single conversation he was smiling again, talking...bragging, about how great his parents were. Pride shone through in all his words. Freya felt something, as if she could fall in love with him all over again those feeling bubbled up in her chest once more.

Then the disappointment came. Not in him, not even in the fact that he was leaving. But in herself, she knew what he wanted, she loved him, but she couldn't let him go. That wasn't the kind of person she was, these feelings reminded her once again, she was a petty, selfish goddess.

Freya brings his hand up and presses it to her forehead, she closes her eyes and focuses on him, "you know what might be the worst part of all of this, even after knowing all this. I'm so selfish that I want you to stay, I'd rather you stay with me than go be with them... you must hate me for that."

Expecting his agreement, she's pleasantly surprised to hear the opposite," it's fine, it's natural even. Makes you seem like a real person," he says.

"It's fine?"

"Everyone wants to be loved, nobody really wants to be alone, I'm just sorry I can't stay," he says.

"But I'm here," she says. Placing his hand on her cheek she gets him to look into her eyes. "I'll always be here, and you're here at least for now, so---"

"Freya, we've already discussed this," he points out, trying again to pull away only for her to hold onto his hand. As a level seven he could easily pull away, so why didn't he?

"No, you did all the talking, and I didn't get any real say. I can handle this, I'm strong enough for this, I can take it," she glares dangerously at him but his soft expression never shifts.

"But you wouldn't have to if---"

"Tell me you don't want it too!" she finally erupts. "Tell me, tell me that you don't have that selfish part of you that wants this for as long as you can have it, because I have that part and it's only been winning. Maybe I'm just not as in control of myself as you are, and maybe that's ok," she says.

"Freya," he kept looking into her silver eyes, mouth agape but no words came out.

"Go on, tell me. Tell me you don't want us to stay together until you leave. Honestly tell me you don't want to be with me, and this will be the end of us," she challenged.

"Mmm, fuck," he relents, turning to look away from her. "You're more persistent than the fucking dragons always trying to eat me."

"Mhm, I just want us to spend this time together before you go, now how about we go get you cleaned up. You've been asleep for almost 10 days, and I need to fill you in on what you missed..."

---30 Minutes Later...

"Should I even bother putting on clothes tonight?" Freya asks. The goddess was walking out of Yang's closet, the walk-in closet itself had the entire right side still filled with her clothes. She was wearing a light blue loose shirt with matching panties and had her towel draped around her shoulder, long wet hair still resting on it.

"Yes," Yang answered from the bed. He was eating another ration bar, taking in all her movements as she hangs up her towel and walks over to the bed. Raising a hand as she gets into bed he pulls the water out of her hair and evaporates it, leaving her completely dry. "My body still feels sore everywhere so let's just get some rest tonight ok."

Freya frowns at him, then gives him a mean pout and dramatically throws herself against the pillows.

"I've been waiting over a month to get back in this bed and now I need to wait longer for sex, you do realize I'd never have this problem with any other man right?"

"Which is why you'd rather be here, right?"

"Right," she pulls the blanket to cover herself. Laying in bed as he sits against the cushioned backboard, " let's start with you, what happened after you left Orario?"

"The usual, boring travel. Then boring travel by cart with these...adventurers. They were a nice family of adventurers, then we found out that... they were hunting demi-humans, Elves, down at Wishe," he says softly.

"Disgusting, Ares spread his sickness well," Freya says.

"Yeah, part of me wanted to burn the entire place down, another part of me wanted to fly to the capital and drop a meteor on Ares and the king," Yang says.

"Hmm, and why didn't you?"

"Because Welf helped me focus. Because I didn't want to start a war. Because a lot of other people would have died with them?"

"Welf told me you had no problem killing Adrestria's people," she says.

"Because they were killing kids to make soldiers, wait, when did you two talk?"

"He used your ring to keep me informed when you and Thalie were down. Plus I collected the children and spear, the kids are in one of the orphanages, the spear is Thalie's now," she says.

"You didn't put a Falna on them?"

"Tempting, but you'd have been mad if I did, Adrestria has an eye for talent I've gotta admit," she says.

"Both true I guess, at least about me being mad."

"Well, I wouldn't be a very good wife if I didn't even know that much."

"Girlfriend, and what happened after I got knocked out?"

"Well, Welf got thrown in a cell and you got locked in a box. Thalie had surgery for two days then got a prosthetic jaw. Then the trial happened and Ouranos decided to execute you three."

This only gets Yang to raise a brow curiously, "Hmm, execution huh."

"You don't seem mad at the idea, why not?"

"Because I knew it would have come to that, the best way to keep everyone in line is to show you're willing to execute your strongest team. Me being knocked out ruined the original plan, so how did we get out of it?"

"Hephaestus came up with a plan. She told me if the trial isn't going well I need to go directly to Ouranos and tell him you wrote the monster manual."

"Why you?"

"Because she lied to me," Freya narrows her eyes at him, "and so did you. But that means when Ouranos looks at me I'm telling the truth because it's the only version of the story I know and I believe it...so what is the truth?"

"You know I can't tell you," he says.

"I assumed as much. But yes he gave your team a slap on the wrist, suspended your dungeon delving until further notice---"

"What!?"

Freya jolts up at the sudden outburst, taken by surprise by the reaction to the news.

"Relax, it's only until everyone forgets about this whole thing enough so they don't look weak when you go back into the dungeon, it's for appearances...mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Well," she looks away from him, "I told him you'd write everything down in a book and give it to Hephaestus in case you died, that way the guild doesn't lose the knowledge," she says.

"Oh, that makes sense, she already has a copy but the deeper we go the more I need to update it with things I didn't expect the dungeon to be able to make."

"You always have things so figured out don't you."

"Everything but you, anything else I missed?"

"Thalie became the Champion Of War under Adrestria's banner..."

Yang groans, eats the last of the ration bar, then sinks down below the covers with her. "Fuck, what does that even mean anyway? What happened since she stabbed Adrestria?"

"The champion thing was just how Athena put the domain up for grabs, when Adrestria's spear properly activated it destroyed the others and bonded with Thalie. They're linked now."

"She's gonna hate that."

"From what I've heard, definitely. Oh, and Hephaestus has your message ring, the one I gave you."

"Oh yeah," Yang rolls onto his side and pulls her over to him, "whats's up with that. You two plotting behind my back or something?"

Sinking into his warm embrace Freya closes her eyes and enjoys his body pressed against hers, "we're sisters and gods, of course we plot behind everyone's backs. And she just wanted me to have a way to talk to you without banging on her door at midnight."

"Mhm, so you wanna explain what you meant by 'Hephaestus is coming back to bed'?"

"Ugh, don't be gross. She, Tsubaki, and I were up all night worried, we all ended up in her room. It became routine. Thalie told me you hadn't been sleeping in your bed either so you should know," she points out.

"Right, sleeping here felt...cold."

"Mine too, I'd usually drink wine until I fell asleep on the couch staring at your soul through the floor..."

"Creepy."

"Shut up, it's not that creepy."

"It really really is, is that why you were so sure we'd end up here again?"

"No," she turns around to face him. "I'd have to be an idiot to not think we'd end up here again, you never locked me out of the enchantments on the doors and you never even bothered to return my half of the closet. Plus you defended me from Ishtar and gave me that snowfall as a gift, remember? Honestly, sometimes it was like you forgot we weren't even together, especially since you've been wearing the ring since that night we broke up."

As realization dawns on him, she leans over and gives him a passionate kiss. "It's fate," she says. "My Odr and I will always come back to each other after the first time we meet."

"Fate?" Yang raises his metal hand, the injury Cassandra had told him would happen. "Even if that means dying and you waiting to meet my soul again?" he asks.

"Of course, people have found past loves in new lives, why would that be any different for us?"

"I still don't really believe in your prophecy thing, only because I don't feel like that should apply to gods. But whatever, it's been a long month and I don't wanna think about it."

"Mhm, we broke up last month, then you committed high treason and your team went to kill a god."

"That wasn't the actual plan."

"It ended with her killing a god and getting marked, so we'll see what Adrestria decides to do with her," Freya holds his metals hand and lifts it up. "Then this happened and you spent over a week asleep, then woke up to jump back into bed with me, what a crazy little adventure," she says.

"Yeah, Hephaestus is gonna be so mad when we have a proper meeting tomorrow," Yang chuckles lowly.

Draping an arm across him and tangling their bodies together Freya takes comfort in feeling his strong heartbeat as she closes her eyes, ready for the first night of good sleep in weeks.

In a quiet voice she asks one more question, "do you regret any of it?"

Silence fills the air for a while, she peeks up to see him staring up at the ceiling thinking it over before he answers. "Yeah, just one part."

"Losing the hand?"

"No, that saved her life... but I really wish I took the chance to punch Finn in the face..."

END CHAPTER---

This came out early because I've been up for like 19 hours working on Volume 5 and need a 14 hr nap, please review this book if you got the time :)

The last week of chapters has been nothing but stress and tears, lets start this week happy:)

Just re-read/skimmed the published chapters so far... no plotholes. Proud of myself for that.