Chapter 37
Mama Bear:
I am absolutely paralyzed with this information about Scarlet. 'Holy fuck don't panic, don't panic. Fuck maybe it is time that I finally come clean, I can't keep this a secret anymore. They have matching birth marks on their shoulders.' I feel so guilty for keeping this secret from them for so long. "Oh my gosh! El is she ok? How bad is it?" My thoughts are racing a mile a minute. 'How could I have not known, I should have felt that something wasn't right.'
"Stella looks at me with a look that tells me that she is physically here but her mind is somewhere far away. "She looks like herself but not all at the same time. She is so bruised everywhere. Originally it appeared that the only damaged she had sustained other then bruising was some torn muscles in her right leg." Again her eyes begin to water and her lip quivers, once again I see her in front of me but she isn't here with me. "Mom they said that in her MRI...it suggests that she may...that she may have some brain damage. She has to stay in the hospital for observation for another week at the very least."
"Oh Stella honey. I am so so sorry. How are you holding up?" She finally looks as if she has rejoined her body here in the living room with us.
"I don't know mom. I'm so scared, she is like my sister, what if she doesn't get better? Mom I can't lose her. I felt that something was wrong that she wasn't ok and then I get a message that she was in a really bad accident and that ultimately she was lucky to even survive." She has tears running down her face again and I feel helpless once again feeling even more guilty for keeping my dirty little well huge secret for so long. She felt something was wrong when Scarlet got into her accident.
I open my mouth with every intention of coming clean to her, but I can't force the words out of my mouth. Instead I decide to ask her what she would like for dinner. 'I'll tell her over dinner. It'll be better for us to eat and have this particular conversation.' "What would y'all like for dinner? I can make your favorite El? Or did you want something else?" She chews her lip silently as she decides what she wants for dinner.
"I would really like your famous Pesto Pasta if that ok mom. Oh and some garlic bread too please mommy. I was also hoping to make it back to the hospital here before too long. Jace asked me to stay with her cause he has to go back to work for a few days so he doesn't lose his job."
"I can certainly do that for y'all tonight. I'll go ahead and get dinner started right away, so you can get back to Scarlet. I could come with you if you would like?" I suggest this without even thinking of the possibilities. This would be the perfect time for me to tell them both at the same time, like I should have done so many years ago, unfortunately I chickened out.
"I'm sorry mommy but Scar has made it clear that she doesn't want you to see her in this condition. I personally would love it for you to come with me to see her, but I just want to respect her wishes." I nod in understanding and in disappointment. 'Well so much for telling the girls the truth together. Regardless I am telling Ella tonight she needs to know the truth.' I go to the kitchen and busy myself with the task of making dinner for my daughter and her boyfriend. The whole while trying to figure out the best way to tell her and how to answer the questions I am positive she will ask once I tell her what I have been hiding.
It takes me all of an hour and a half to make the pasta and the garlic bread that El has requested, I start to feel extremely nervous as I realize that stalling time is over. "El, James dinner is ready please come take a seat at the dinner table." I take a huge breath hoping that it will calm me enough to have this very uncomfortable conversation. I walk to the table and make sure that there are enough plates for everyone to eat and I go back to the kitchen to gather the bread and the pasta. I place everything on the table allowing them to chose how much they would like to eat and I serve myself a small serving with a couple slices of garlic bread, given the anxiety that I currently feel I am not sure I am all that hungry anymore.
"Mom are you ok? What's bothering you?" I look at my daughter I had not realized that she had been watching me. 'I am glad that she is observant but I think that maybe she is too observant for her own good.' I take another deep calming breath, it's now or never it is time for this to be off of my chest.
"I am ok Honey. However, I really have something important that I need to speak to you about. Please just try not to be too upset with me..." She gives me a look of confusion.
"Mom you're talking nonsense. What is it? I could never be upset with you." She reaches her hand out to me in a comforting manner. 'Oh she is such a good girl, so sweet and so understanding.' I reach my hand out to meet hers and I smile tightly unsure of how to start telling her all of the information that has been building for some time now. 'Here goes nothing.'
"Well Ella I know we have talked about your father and how you have a sister on his side...But see I didn't tell you the full truth...I know who your sister is and she isn't your half sister either..." I look up at her to try and prepare for her reaction and at the moment all I can see is shock, confusion, and interest. I take a shaky breath trying to prepare my next words carefully. I know that what I am telling her is a complete shock since we didn't discuss this information the last time we talked about her father and her sister and again I feel guilty.
"It turns out that you actually have a twin sister..." I pause again and I am almost positive that this will be the time that I will finally see the much awaited anger. But yet still nothing, she has a look of excitement and she looks as if this is the best news that she has received. I don't see the look of betrayal that I have been preparing myself too. I still feel as though maybe I should back out and not tell her the rest yet but I know that is the wrong thing to do it is time.
"Wait I have a twin sister? Who is she? Where is she? Why didn't you keep both of us? Can we meet her? Does she have powers too?" I feel shocked to my very soul as she asks me so many questions that I hadn't expected her to ask. I truly didn't expect her to react like this, I thought for sure, I was positive that she would be angry or hurt... Well there is honestly still enough time for that because I haven't dropped the biggest bombshell on her yet.
"Well you see I was beyond excited when I found out that I was expecting twin girls. Stella Rose and Lili Rose were the names that I had picked out for you and your sister. I was excited to tell your father that we were having twins... I had thought that he would have been over the moon...instead he kicked me out and told me that he never wanted children that I was just a piece of ass, just a chick on the side. So I had no other choice but to move in with your grandmother and grandfather, it was the last thing that I had wanted to do but I was pregnant I didn't have a job and I didn't have anywhere else to go. Grandpa seemed to be really supportive and he seemed genuinely excited about having some grandbabies, however your grandmother hated that I was pregnant and she thought I was making the worst mistake by deciding that I wanted to keep you and your sister..." Stella is watching me intently waiting for me to continue my memory.
I look at James to see that he is equally intrigued in my memory and my darkest secret finally coming to light. "See when I went into labor my doctor had said that one of my twins weren't moving enough and that she feared that the twin may be born sleeping...I was rushed into the OR for and emergency cesarean to remove you before I lost you also. The only thing I remember is them wheeling me away and my heart breaking thinking that I had lost one of my precious babies. When I woke after the surgery your Grandmother told me your twin sister didn't make it...she told me that you were the only one who survived. When you were 3 years old you got very sick so i took you to the Emergency Room, and my world was turned upside down."